Bravery
Loki sat alone, in the dark, in his sitting room. It was the middle of the night, and yet he couldn't sleep. He had been thinking over what his mother had told him. That he should explain to Noir what had been going through his mind at the moment when he had acted so stupidly. But he wasn't sure how to do that.
Noir stepped out of the safe room and gingerly let it close behind her. When it clicked into place, she let out a deep breath. No going back now. She lifted her lantern and looked around. Light reflected off the gilded walls, but she couldn't see very well. Maybe this hadn't been such a good idea.
Noir steeled herself and set off down the hall, praying she would be able to find her way and that she wouldn't run into anyone on her way.
Long minutes of Noir wandering the palace, grimacing every time she turned down a hall and realized it was not right. But finally, she managed to turn down a passage and found herself facing the double doors, recognizing them as the entrance to Loki's chambers.
The neko raised the lantern and stepped forward. She lifted her hand to knock, but then hesitated. It was the middle of the night. What the bloody blazes was she doing? Certainly waking the prince would not help her situation. So why was she here?
Loki looked up as he heard the soft scuff of leather boots on the floor outside his room. The light of a lantern was visible under the crack of the door. Someone was standing outside his room. He waited. Whoever it was, they seemed to be very reluctant to make themselves known.
The prince slowly stood from his chair and walked to the door. He stood in front of it for a moment, still waiting. He stepped a little closer, listening carefully for any clue as to who it was outside his room. He could hear nothing.
Tentatively, he reached for the door handle.
Noir merely stood, feeling utterly indecisive and unsure. There was no turning back. She couldn't get back into the safe room without Loki. But at the same time, she was very reluctant to knock on the door. She turned slightly to leave, but paused and let out a quiet breath, turning back to the door and lifting her hand to knock. Then she paused again. She screwed her face up in frustration with herself. She lifted her hand to knock, finally making up her mind.
But the door suddenly opened before her hand made contact with the wood, and her heart did a flip-flop in her chest as she saw Loki.
Loki paused in surprise when he saw his little neko thief standing just outside his room, hand raised to knock on his door and a lantern in the other hand.
Neither of them seemed to know what to say for a moment.
"I- I'm sorry if I woke you," Noir suddenly said hurriedly.
"It's fine; I wasn't asleep…" Loki immediately brushed it off offhandedly. Another slight awkward silence. "What are you doing here?" Loki finally asked, not able to think of any other way to phrase the question.
Noir opened her mouth to answer, and then hesitated. She laughed softly and glanced away. "I wish I had an answer for you, Prince Loki," she murmured.
That gave Loki pause. He felt his brow crease worriedly. "Are… are you alright…?" he asked in a hushed voice.
Noir didn't look up to meet his eyes. "…No."
Loki felt his heart sink. He glanced back over his shoulder. The crystal vases had been repaired by his mother, but the tables were still overturned and the books were still in disarray on the floor because of his lack of motivation to set them right again. "Could you wait here just a moment?" he asked. "I'll be right back."
Noir nodded slowly, not knowing what exactly to expect. She was still wondering what she was doing here. She had just been dying to see him… to see if he would act differently around her now. But he just seemed nervous and awkward and hesitant, like he thought she was the one who would be upset with him somehow.
Loki gave her a very unsure smile before he closed the door and disappeared into his room again. Noir sighed and leaned back against the wall across from the prince's chambers, waiting.
Loki was inside his room, getting dressed as quickly as was Asgardianly possible. His mind raced. This was it. This was his chance to remedy his relationship with Noir. He tried to come up with a plan… but none seemed to come to him. He was so distracted, he started to put his boots on the wrong feet before realizing what he was doing with a quiet curse. When he was finally dressed, he grabbed his own cloak, a lantern, and opened the door.
Noir was still leaned back against the wall, her eyes closed as she tried not to let more tears spill when she remembered her dream. Her eyes quickly flicked open when she heard the door open, and Loki stepped out.
He blinked. "Noir, are you… crying?" he asked in surprise. With the light of two lanterns, her face was clearer now, and he could see that her eyes were rimmed with red, and there appeared to be evidence of tear tracks on her cheeks.
"N-no… I just had a bad dream a little bit ago," she muttered dismissively.
Loki wanted to comfort her, but he wasn't sure how. He sighed and simply said, "Come with me, and we'll talk."
Noir slowly nodded and waited for the prince to lead the way. With a wry smile, though, Loki offered her his elbow. Noir smiled sardonically and took it without question, which wasn't exactly what Loki had been expecting. But he didn't really mind, so he began to head down the passage.
"Where are we going, Prince Loki?" Noir asked mildly. She trusted him completely, but he was leading her down passages and turns she had never been to before.
"Just Loki, Noir. I already told you that, didn't I?" he glanced down at her somberly. "And you'll see soon enough."
Noir frowned. For one, she had thought that she and the prince were back on more formal terms ever since… the incident. But she made no comment. She would take what little blessings she had, and if Prince Loki was comfortable enough with her to be on a first-name basis, then she could take that. Granted, she'd like to be more than a simple friend, but it seemed like that wasn't happening anytime soon with the prince… what with what had happened earlier, when the prince had pulled away from her.
She paused when Loki reached a tall, winding staircase, and started to move for them to go up. He glanced at her.
"What?"
"Where are we going?" Noir repeated her question suspiciously.
Loki turned to face her. "I told you…" he touched a finger to her chin. "You'll see, Noir."
The softness and tenderness in his voice made her want to collapse where she stood and just apologize for being unworthy of him. But instead, Loki took her arm again, and she followed him numbly up the spiraling staircase until they reached a single room at the top. It was totally empty. Loki let go of her arm.
Noir raised her eyebrows. "…So where are we?"
"Still not there yet," Loki dismissed, going to the wall and grabbing the stool that was propped there. He dragged it to the center of the room, then climbed onto it and reached for the ceiling. After a moment, he found the latch, and the trapdoor swung open. Loki dropped down from the stool and gestured to Noir.
"Ladies first," he nodded upward.
Still a little lost, Noir climbed up onto the stool.
"Do you need help getting up?" Loki asked, looking up at her. She was shorter, and he wasn't sure she would have enough strength to pull herself through the trapdoor in the roof.
Noir scoffed. "No, Your Highness, I do not need help getting up." Standing on tiptoe, she barely managed to hook her fingers onto the edges of the trapdoor. She hung there for only half a second before she managed to haul herself outside.
Smiling slightly,, Loki followed, climbing out of the trapdoor easily. The two were now on the gently slanted roof of a tall tower of the palace. Loki crawled to a few feet away from the trapdoor and gestured for Noir to join him. She slid a little closer to him. Loki lay down and simply waited for her expectantly. Hesitantly, Noir lay down about an arm's length from him. Silence reigned for a few moments as Loki gave her a searching look,, and Noir simply gazed back, unsure.
"So what's wrong?" Loki asked softly.
Noir suddenly laughed. "You brought me all the way out here to ask me that?"
Loki smiled self-consciously. "Yes, I suppose I did."
"You couldn't have asked me that back in the hallway outside your chambers?" Noir questioned.
Loki sat up and scooted closer to her. He leaned over her, planting a hand on the roof on either side of her head. For a moment, he reveled in the wide-eyed stare Noir was giving him. Then he simply answered, "No." And sat up straight again.
Noir bit her lip at the way her heart was racing. She sat up, too, and looked at the prince. "Well… I couldn't sleep."
"I couldn't, either," Loki admitted quietly.
Noir nodded slowly. "I tried to, but I had a bad dream."
He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. "About?"
"When I was younger… it was more of a memory, really, of my brother and me. And my mother."
"What happened to them?"
"I think they're both dead. Well, I know my brother is," she revised. "But I haven't seen my mother in years."
"Mm."
A long silence.
"Noir?"
"Loki?"
"I'm sorry."
Silence.
"For earlier tonight," he continued, glancing at her sidelong.
Noir said nothing for a moment. "Alright. Apology accepted," she shrugged. But she wasn't entirely sure what he meant. She knew what incident he referred to… but she wasn't sure if he was apologizing for what he had done, or what he hadn't done. Was he apologizing for nearly kissing her? Or was he apologizing for not kissing her? Was he apologizing for giving her hope? Or apologizing for not fulfilling said hopes? She wasn't sure, and was afraid to clarify.
More silence for a long moment. With a sigh, Noir laid back down on the sloped tower roof. Loki lay down, too, and still they said nothing.
Loki tensed as he felt something touch his hand… Noir's hand. She tentatively slipped her hand into his. He smiled to himself and laced his fingers with hers, and squeezed gently. Noir, relieved, shifted slightly so that their shoulders nearly touched.
Still, not a word was said for a long while, and they simply watched the dark star-filled sky turn paler and paler. They were both even starting to drift off to sleep for a little bit, but they suddenly opened their eyes and sat up as the first fingers of dawn's light broke over the horizon. Loki smiled wryly and gestured to the edge of the roof.
"Come look." He pulled his hand from hers and moved to crouch at the brink of the tower's roof.
Noir followed, absentmindedly flexing her hand. The absence of his fingers filling the spaces between hers was odd. She drew up to his side and gazed over the scene below them. Her eyes widened, and her mouth dropped open.
From the top of the tower, it seemed like all of Asgard was visible. In the forefront was the city, from the tall, graceful structures to the poorer, dirtier ones in the further distance. Beyond those were fields of green and yellow. Glancing to the left, she could see the Rainbow Bridge and the Observatory, and the empty space beyond. She tried not to think about the fact that Heimdall could be watching her right now, with Loki. She resumed staring over the landscape. The rosy pink sunrise filtered through the sparse clouds and seemed to gently brush away the robin's-egg-blue of twilight.
Loki smiled softly, observing the girl next to him rather than the landscape. The expression on her face was brighter than the sun's light, anyway. The amazement in her eyes made his heart swell happily. This was why he had brought her here. For the sunrise. After watching her gawk out the windows at the views from the palace's windows, he knew she would enjoy this.
"I come up here sometimes," he said quietly. "When I can't sleep, or Thor's bugging me, or if I'm practicing a spell…" he sighed. "I come up here a lot, actually," he was slightly surprised by the realization.
Noir glanced to him, tearing her eyes away from the picturesque view. He was giving her an almost… imploring look. Like he was asking if she liked it. With a small smile, she realized that this was his special place, and he had decided to share it with her.
"It's magnificent, Loki," she informed him. "It's… beautiful." She glanced back to the sunrise.
"It is," Loki agreed, still focused on her rather than the landscape. Hesitantly, he touched her hand.
Noir's hand intertwined with his automatically, and they both smiled slightly. They enjoyed the companionable silence.
"Do you think we should go inside now? Marron will probably start wondering where you are," Loki said reluctantly. He'd much rather spend all day here with Noir, but knew the chances were slim that they could do that.
Noir sighed. "Yes… I guess so."
Silence for a moment. Though they had just agreed to go, neither moved to do so. Noir shifted a little closer to Loki, and she gently leaned her head on his shoulder. Loki, surprised, made no comment, but he could feel his heart speed up. And yet, he was… happy. This was… actually, nice.
Noir could feel his breath quicken slightly when she rested her head on his shoulder, but she made no comment, and neither did he. After another very long moment of watching the sun haul itself over the distant horizon, Noir sighed and pulled away slightly. She tilted her head to meet Loki's eyes.
Loki waited for her to say something… whatever it was that she was going to say. She said nothing. "Yes?" he finally asked, sounding slightly amused.
Noir smirked. "No."
Loki raised an eyebrow quizzically. "No? No what?"
Noir giggled. "Nothing. You just said yes, and I felt like being contradictory. So, therefore... No."
Loki scoffed. "Somehow the senselessness of that is logical."
Noir smiled. "I know. Are we going inside, or not?"
Loki shrugged. "Yes… sometime."
Noir grinned and stretched up, brushing her lips softly against his cheek. Then she pulled her hand from his and crawled back to the trapdoor, leaving Loki stunned, still sitting on the edge of the roof. She laughed softly. "Coming, Your Majesty?"
Loki turned back and gave her a slightly mutinous glare. "Yes, Thief."
Noir laughed and shook her head, dropping back inside and waiting for Loki at the bottom. He joined her shortly and gave her a look.
"Not particularly fun, is it?" she teased. She didn't wait for an answer and headed to the door, flipping her black hood over her cat ears once again.
Loki sighed in exasperation. At least, he thought, their relationship had been mended.
A few minutes later, they walked side by side back to the safe room. Loki had not offered his arm this time, and Noir hadn't requested it. They were too busy talking, anyway.
"So are you going to talk to your father today?" Noir asked.
"Yes," Loki nodded. "I'll see if I can convince him to at least revise the decree… perhaps I can convince him to merely arrest the nekos who do take part in the revolts. And any others can continue their lives."
Noir pinched her lips. "…So you're not going to push for neko rights?" she asked slowly.
Loki didn't answer for a long moment. "Do you want me to?"
Noir glanced at him. "Well, it'd be nice if we were allowed to go out in public without wearing a cloak… or it'd be nice to be able to get a job… or it'd be nice to be able to… oh, I don't know… be allowed to own property," she gave Loki a meaningful look.
Loki scoffed. "I'll take that as a yes?"
"Which reminds me!" Noir snapped her fingers. "I want you to bring me something good for breakfast," she added with a quick grin.
"Um… how does my taking that as a yes remind you of me getting you breakfast?" he asked confusedly.
"Ah. Yes, because you said 'take.' You've been taking extra food from the table. So…" Noir shrugged. "The connections I make when you say the word 'take…' The mind of a thief, your Majesty."
"Would you stop calling me Your Majesty?" he complained.
Noir chuckled. "Just Loki, hmm? No 'Prince,' no 'Your Royal Highness'… Just Loki?"
Loki merely nodded. "Correct, little thief."
Noir smiled. She really didn't mind him calling her that. It wasn't demeaning or rude… it was just… sweet. Somehow the insult had become a term of endearment. They stopped walking outside the wooden doors of the safe room.
"Are you off to breakfast, then?" Noir asked airily.
Loki nodded. "And just so you know, I will probably be late for breakfast. And it will be because of you," he added significantly.
Noir pursed her lips and arched her eyebrows. "You're blaming me?"
"Yes."
"How is it my fault you have horrible time management?" she asked haughtily.
Loki grinned. "I never said it was your fault. I just said I Blame you."
Noir laughed, and Loki chuckled. They smiled at each other, then stood in silence.
Loki's smile faded, and he took a small step closer to her. "Noir?"
"Yes, Loki?" she asked nonchalantly. But her careless countenance disappeared when Loki took another step closer to her and touched her cheek.
Loki studied Noir's face, deciding that his mind was made up. It wasn't that his fear had disappeared. He was still afraid of this situation. He had just decided to be brave for once, and put that fear aside.
Noir felt her heart jump into her throat. She had an overwhelming feeling of déjà vu with this situation… Loki, right there, a dead silence in the air. But this time, there was a certainty in Loki's eyes.
Silent anticipation and stillness for a moment. Loki glanced between Noir's lips and her eyes.
He started to lean down—
-and the door to the safe room opened, and Thor stepped out.
Loki and Noir were immediately ten feet apart, surprised, angry, and embarrassed.
Thor blinked, looking between his brother and the neko. At first he looked confused. Then he smiled slyly. He turned back and called over his shoulder. "Lady Marron, Lady Noir and Loki are back."
Marron appeared at Thor's side, glancing between Loki and Noir. Her sly smile was identical to Thor's. "Ah… so they are. Hello, you two."
Loki and Noir glanced at each other awkwardly. "Er… hello," they muttered.
"Where were you?" Marron and Thor asked simultaneously. They paused and glanced at each other awkwardly before shrugging and returning their attention to Noir and Loki.
"Nowhere," Noir said at the same time that Loki said, "None of your business."
Awkward silence.
"Loki, we should be off to breakfast. We'll have to bring some back for Marron and Noir as well," Thor finally said briskly, holding the door open for Noir.
The neko stepped into the room, throwing a disappointed look to Loki, who merely glanced away, half-embarrassed and half just as disappointed as Noir. He was filled with ambivalence. Angry that he hadn't gotten to kiss Noir… but happy that she appeared to be just as disappointed about it as he was. He threw her a quick crooked grin, as if to say, 'later.'
Everyone said a quick goodbye, and then the door to the safe room was closed, and the brothers were alone in the hallway.
Thor threw Loki a devilish grin and started down the hall. Grimacing, Loki followed. He had a feeling this was going to be a very awkward walk to the dining hall.
"So…" Thor said as soon as Loki drew up to his side. "You and Noir are more than simply friends?"
Loki felt his face get hot. He couldn't exactly deny it. "I don't know, Thor…"
"Are you in love with her?" Thor pressed.
"Thor!" Loki cried, turning bright red and gawking at his brother. "Would you quiet down and shut your big fat flapping mouth?!"
Thor laughed. "I'll take that as a yes," Thor grinned.
"Speaking of which," Loki muttered. "I'm supposed to be getting her something good for breakfast."
Thor wiggled his eyebrows. "I thought you two might have already eaten."
King Odin and Queen Frigga looked up from their plates as they saw both their sons walk into the room. Thor appeared to be grinning from ear to ear, evidently pleased about something. Loki, on the other hand, looked rather harassed and humiliated.
Loki sank into a chair and didn't look up to meet his parents' eyes. Thor dropped into the chair across the table from his brother.
"Good morning, Father! Good morning, Mother!" Thor said brightly, seizing a plate and loading it with sausages and ham and eggs.
"Good morning, Thor," Odin replied. He then turned his eye on Loki. "And good morning, Loki. Why are you late this morning, both of you?"
"We were a little sidetracked," Thor threw a suggestive look to his little brother, who merely slouched a little lower in his seat and didn't look up.
Loki felt resentment towards Thor. His relationship with Noir was supposed to be a good thing. So why was Thor making Loki feel ashamed of it? Besides, Thor's suggestive teasing was going to lead to awkward questions that neither boy could answer. Thor was digging both his own and Loki's graves, with a grin on his face and not an iota of realization… until, that is…
"What were you sidetracked by?" Frigga asked curiously.
"No one," Thor said quickly, now realizing his mistake. "Absolutely no one."
The king and queen exchanged looks.
"No one?" Odin repeated.
Thor was busy rubbing his shin, which Loki had just kicked rather hard under the table. "Er… what I mean was… nothing."
Loki rolled his eyes. "Father, we were at the training fields… and Thor ran into Lady Sif is all."
Odin gave Loki a sharp look. "Loki, let your brother speak for himself; you were not the one I asked."
Loki furrowed his brow but made no comment.
"Er… yes, we were at the training fields, and we ran into Lady Sif," Thor echoed Loki's lie uncomfortably. Loki was so much better at this than he was… why couldn't Odin just accept what Loki had said?
Odin seemed to believe the lie, now that Thor had said it. He then returned to his plate of food.
"Father?" Loki asked quietly.
"Yes, Loki?"
"Has there been any more news of the neko revolts?"
"Last night was uneventful. I believe that the rebels were rallying themselves and making a plan, but we cannot be sure," Odin said calmly.
"Do you still refuse to meet with their leader and hear them out?" Loki inquired.
"Yes, I do. If they cannot try to make a change in a diplomatic manner, then they have no right to be heard."
"Father, it is now you who isn't acting diplomatically," Loki said sharply. "They have made their first move; the revolt at the palace gates. But perhaps that is because there was no other way to get our attention—"
"Are you accusing me of being the brash one in this situation, Loki?" Odin barked.
Loki fell silent. "No… I'm saying that… perhaps the revolt was the only way to garner any of our attention. Now that they have our attention, a peaceful meeting might be in order," Loki said slowly and carefully. He was in dangerous waters now, he could tell. Odin looked at him testily. Loki glanced between his mother and his father for a moment. "I thought perhaps fighting fire with fire might not be an effective tactic in this situation. Hearing them out and granting the nekos rights would do no one any harm."
"Appeasement is not a solution either, Loki," Odin scoffed. "It is a mere temporary fix… until they want more. And then more… until they have gotten so used to getting their way that they do not know the meaning of going too far, and no longer contain the meaning of the word 'no' in their vocabulary."
Loki glared. "So your driving them out of the city is somehow supposed to assuage the nekos' feeling of oppression and degradation? I think your logic may be a little flawed, Father," he spat angrily.
Odin's eye narrowed. "Do not question the actions I take, Loki! I am the king, and you… are not. You have not the right to criticize the actions I take to better our realm."
Loki flushed with anger and clenched his fists. Why wouldn't his father listen to him? Couldn't he see that what he was doing was only going to irritate the sensitive situation with the nekos further?
"Father, I believe Loki has a point," Thor broke in. "Your decree requesting they leave the city shall make no real difference. The order will not affect the rebels: they shall stay anyway, simply to spite you. And the nekos who are not part of the rebellion… they shall either become angry with you and help increase the rebels' ranks, or they shall simply leave, following your order. And then there shall be no one that could soothe the rebels; no one to bring them to their senses and convince them to give up their fight."
"If the rebels come, then they shall come. But only when they come will we quash the rebellion," Odin said calmly, settling back in his chair when his older son spoke. "As long as we do not take direct action against them, there is no reason to worry… We are taking defense and not offense."
Loki's eyes flicked up from the table to look at his father. Funny how he didn't get so snappish when Thor said the exact same thing Loki did.
"But perhaps a peace meeting would be a good idea?" Thor asked unsurely.
Odin stroked his chin. "…I do not believe so. I might consider… if I knew who the rebel leader was. But alas, I do not."
Loki stood and strode out of the room without another word, not bothering to excuse himself. He was sick of Odin listening to Thor and not him.
Note from LoquaciousQuibbler: YAY we got Noir and Loki time! Cute stuff. Darn it, they would have kissed, if it wasn't for stupid Thor…
…and then stupid Odin. JadeBuohler requested that I have a little more Odin/Loki interaction to highlight their not-so-great relationship… so there we go. I never liked Odin…
Alright, two more things. I am beta reading my friend Lady The Warrior's Loki story, Evil Angel. You should all go check it out.
Also, I am happy to say that JadeBuohler has been inspired by this story to write her own Loki/OC story, called Hidden Within. You should all go check that out, too.
Alright, I am now done advertising. Lol
Please favorite, follow, review, PM, or make suggestions... on the website… though smoke signals, telepathy, letters (only if sent by owl, and preferably not Howlers), and interpretive dances are also accepted ;)