We were inspired by Portal 2 for Archie's speaker message. It doesn't hurt the story at all.
Related to the above, I have had it pointed out to me that Shivermetimbersshipping is a pirate ship.
They had barely made it down the rest of the mountain when they got a call on May's Pokenav from Steven.
"I know it's short notice," he said when she'd answered, "but it's urgent. I need you to come to Slateport City."
"Do we have a choice?" Brendan asked, and they heard Steven laugh.
"Absolutely not," he replied, giving them both the feeling that he enjoyed bossing them around. "I'll clean up around Lavaridge, you go and see what's up around -"
"We already cleaned up the volcano!" May whined. "Maxie released Groudon, I think that's more important than whatever it is you're sending us to."
Steven went quiet. "Groudon?" he said after a moment. "Don't worry, I'll take care of that, too. Think of it as equivalent exchange."
He signed off before they could form a proper objection. May reached out to stroke Latias on the head. "Do you think he's even capable of taking care of Groudon?"
"No," Brendan answered immediately. His Key Stone suddenly felt heavy around his wrist. "I think that's going to be up to us, too. But as long as we have no choice, I say we just go for it."
May climbed onto her legendary's back, and when she felt Brendan's breath on her neck, she gave the command. "To Slateport City, and make it fast."
The crowd was gathered in front of a normal-looking building this time, and none of them were in pirate costumes. Captain Stern was giving a conference, apparently. This had nothing to do with Brendan and May.
At least it wouldn't have, if Stern hadn't recognized them from when they delivered the Devon Goods. Then they kind of got dragged into it.
"Is this why Steven sent us?" Brendan asked the captain, after explaining that they had no idea what they were doing here.
"I wouldn't doubt that," Stern replied. "We made a huge discovery on our last mission, and if you two hadn't kept the Goods safe, we never would have done it."
The air was suddenly filled with dark laughter, and a voice that Brendan and May recognized at once.
"Captain Stern, I presume?"
"Not him," May whispered in fear. "Please, please not him..."
But, of course, it was no use. Archie's voice was even more recognizable than Maxie's.
"You turned your back at the wrong moment," he continued, and Brendan started to move into the dock building before May managed to stop him. "We of Team Aqua will take control of your submarine! Your objections are meaningless! Resistance is futile! We expect total cooperation!"
Brendan looked back at May, furious. "Can we smash him now?"
May let go of his arm without saying a word, and together they followed the terrified captain into the dock building.
Archie was standing on the dock, a megaphone in his hand, talking to a few Team Aqua members. Then, slowly, they all climbed into the submarine waiting for them.
Archie was last to vanish, and he gave the kids a cocky smile. "Somehow, I knew I'd find you here." His stare settled on Brendan, and Brendan made a fist. "Don't try it, kid. We're too far ahead of you now. Go home and play with your Pokémon, the big kids have their own little games to play."
"The big kids suck," Brendan insisted. "You're going to flood the world, Maxie's going to, I don't know, bring its core to the surface or something, and neither of you are going to do a darn thing except cause a lot of unnecessary death and destruction! I could think up a better evil plan in my sleep!"
"I don't doubt he could," May added, triggering the captain's concern.
Not Archie's. "I would say that I'd like to see you try," he told them, "but if we're being honest, I'm tired of dealing with you. Goodbye, kids. With any luck, forever."
Archie jumped into the submarine, closed the top, and apparently, gave the command. Captain Stern made a sound of distress, but it was too late.
After only an hour of consideration, talking to the captain about it despite Brendan's objections, they came to the conclusion that there was nothing they could do. Apologizing all the while, they decided to take Latias back to Lilycove City. They landed in front of the Pokémon Center this time, and Brendan called the professor at once.
Castform answered the call, looking happier than she'd been when May had received her. May practically pushed Brendan aside in order to speak to her.
"Hi, Castform!" Castform chirped a greeting back. "Dad hasn't gotten in too much trouble, has he?"
Castform made a happy sound as the professor returned. Brendan shoved May right back so he could do what he called to do.
"I need a Pokémon that can hold two," he told him, "and it needs to know Surf."
Birch understood. "Heading to Mossdeep City, are you?"
"We were planning on it." Brendan accepted the offer of a Wailord, but his mind was elsewhere. "What can you tell me about the Gym Leader there?"
The professor wasn't sure how to say it, but he eventually found the words. "There are two Gym Leaders," he told them. "A brother and sister, twins - not much older than you, if I heard right."
So Brendan didn't know which sibling he'd face. He could deal with that, under the proper circumstances. "So what type do they use? Does the boy use one type and the girl use another?"
"They're both Psychic users," Birch answered, taking a moment to shoo Castform away from an Oddish before her alternating Rain Dance and Sunny Day could confuse it. "I'm not sure if they have psychic powers themselves or if they rehearse it all, but they have expertly trained Pokémon. Do you have a counter to Psychic Pokémon?"
"I have a Shuppet," Brendan suggested hopefully. "Maybe I can train with only her and not do anything with the rest of my team until she evolves."
"That wouldn't be a good idea," Birch replied. "You need to train her properly. I'm sure May could lend you one of hers."
"Dusky isn't trained for Gym battles yet," May started, but Birch had to end the call so he and Castform could chase down a Mightyena.
Brendan hung up and held Wailord's ball carefully. For such a large Pokémon, it was barely heavier than a regular Pokeball. "We'll train on the way to Mossdeep," he decided. "My Shuppet, your Absol. The twins won't stand a chance."
"An all-water route," May reminded him. "We might run into Team Aqua."
"Then let's release Shuppet and Dusky on them. It wont be hard."
They had only just started their journey from Lilycove to Mossdeep when they saw it. It wasn't even well-hidden, like Team Magma's hideout was. Not only was there a Team Aqua grunt attempting to train Wailmer to do tricks, the actual hideout was just a cave with an opening directly in the water. All they had to do was steer the Wailord into the hole.
The hole was big enough to fit a WAILORD. If there had been any doubt that Archie was an idiot in the first place, they would have quickly been put to rest. As it was, Brendan and May had no doubts.
"So how do you want to handle this place, Agent Sneakers?" May asked calmly, as if she were writing out a spy novel in her head based on their adventures in the hideouts. "You don't want to karate-chop a guy in the neck here, do you?"
"No." Brendan hopped off the Wailord when he managed to dock it like a boat. "I'm thinking we should just tell them we're interested in joining. Putting aside our mutual hatred to stop Maxie and all that."
"We could have used that on Maxie, too."
"No, we couldn't." Brendan looked around. "We were too late to stop Maxie from activating the Blue Orb and making Groudon angry, but we have time to swipe the Red Orb from Archie before he activates it."
May laughed. "I never would have thought you were that willing to be a good influence."
"I'm not." Brendan had to smile a little, though. "I just think a little bit of underhanded justice is what this calls for."
"You're probably right." May looked back at the entrance, then ducked to avoid a patrolling grunt. "So, are you thinking theft or vandalism?"
"Why not both? We've got time."
The maze of teleporter pads easily made the biggest challenge. Team Magma didn't have them littering the halls of their hideout, and it was pretty hard to remember which one they took last.
"We can't even drop things on them like in Hansel and Gretel," May complained. "Shelly has to be smarter than Tabitha, it's the only explanation that fits."
"That, or Archie thought they were fun." Brendan quietly opened a Pokeball, and when Shuppet made her appearance, he pointed at a wall. "Go and figure out which one we're supposed to take," he ordered. "Haunt the grunts if you have to. Haunt Archie if you have to, just go and get us a map."
"I'm on it," Shuppet promised, and she faded into the shadows before they could blink.
"So we're waiting for her to come back?" May asked, and Brendan gestured at the teleport pads.
"Do you want to figure this out on our own?"
May mimed zipping her lips shut.
Shuppet was gone for a long time. By the time the tenth minute arrived, they were both hungry and had sent Dusky out as a guard dog. It was the Absol that jumped the highest when this speaker system turned on.
"Is this thing on?" Archie's voice asked uncertainly, and they heard Matt say something in the background and a bit of paper-shuffling. "Ok, good. So, it looks like we've got a lot of new recruits lined up, so let's take care of a few things. This is Archie speaking. I'm the captain around this ship. Since she's in charge of the hiring, you've probably already met my first mate, Shelly. She's the brains of the operation."
"That explains a lot," Brendan commented under his breath. May shushed him as Archie continued.
"I know what you're thinking, men, and I won't stand for it. She is married. To the ocean. If you get in the way of that, you're fired. And you all know Matt, our intimidation tactic..."
Dusky's tail twitched as Archie started going into Magma-mocking and actual boss stuff, but it was only Shuppet's return that the Absol had noticed. She was not, he realized, carrying a map.
"I couldn't take it with me," she explained. "But my job is to get Brendan where he needs to go, just like yours is to protect May. We can do that with or without a physical map." She floated ahead, hovering above a pad and gesturing down to it with her horn.
"You memorized it?" Dusky asked, mildly impressed.
"I had a Plan B," Shuppet replied, moving her head in an uncaring gesture. "Now move, we're going to get caught."
With Shuppet to guide them, they made it through the worst of the maze of teleporters without being discovered. It was only when they reached the room that had to be Archie's office that they had a good reason to be afraid.
"I don't know what's worse," Brendan commented as he started digging through the papers in the desk drawers. "That they live in a cave, or that I just realized that 'Archie' could be short for Archibald."
"Honestly? The worst thing is that we're digging through a man's private documents to find out." Despite that, May didn't seem to care, and in fact was snooping through Archie's things in a hunt for the Red Orb. "Just be careful with the recording equipment on the desk."
Brendan pretended to ignore her, even as he avoided the microphone like a bottled dose of Seviper venom. "I'm going with the name thing. That is a Phineas and Ferb-level evil backstory."
May opened her mouth, perhaps to retaliate with "What's your excuse?" But it died on her lips as she triggered a secret switch, and Brendan's attention was drawn to the sound.
There were two sleeping Electrodes. One guarded a Nugget - pirate treasure, May thought before she could stop herself. The other guarded a Master Ball.
Brendan saw it at the same time she did. "Dibs," he said as soon as he found his voice.
"No," May said at the same moment. "I know what people use these for, Brendan. Do you remember our conversation about you having a legendary?"
"I remember you saying I'm not allowed to chase down Heatran. Not that I can't have a legendary at all."
"Well, tough boogers. You still can't have it."
"That's not fair! I'm the captain of Team Breakneck's ship, so I get half the treasure the first mate finds!"
"And I'm the first mate in question, so I get to decide which half the captain gets." May crossed her arms over her chest. "You get the Nugget."
"But I called dibs!"
"And I said no!"
"Tough boogers!"
They didn't realize until it was too late that upsetting a pair of guardian Electrodes, while not as obviously dangerous to the mission as triggering the equipment, was still not the greatest move they'd made.
They dropped the pointless argument immediately, and each grabbed a ball.
"Lairon, do the thing!"
"Jerry, take the stage!"
May got the Master Ball in the end. Brendan tried not to let his disappointment show.
Maybe he wouldn't have minded so much if May didn't have a legendary already, or if she hadn't told him that she was taking it just so he couldn't. Or maybe he would have, he wasn't sure.
And the worst part? He still liked spending time with her afterward.
"I'm thinking we make them swear their allegiance to Team Breakneck after their final defeat," he was saying, as they once again followed Shuppet through the teleporter maze. "Maybe on threat of decapitation, I haven't figured that out yet."
"Like I'd let you cut someone's head off," May retaliated, just as he knew she would. "It's way too messy, I don't want to be on cleanup duty. Blackmail is a crime I can get behind. I'm sure we can find something on these freaks."
"Freaks, are we?"
The kids stopped what they were doing and nervously looked up, into Matt's terrifying eyes. May let out a nervous laugh.
"I totally meant that in a good way," she tried to lie, but Matt wasn't quite dumb enough to buy it.
"We all expected to find you here," Matt said instead, deciding to pretend she hadn't said anything. "Archie had the grunts on patrol specifically for the two of you."
"And we avoided most of them," Brendan added. "You need to hire better people."
"And it was my idea to install the teleporters," Matt continued, speaking over Brendan as well. "Did you get stuck on those?"
"A little. We figured it out." Brendan looked past the bulking frame of his adversary, trying to squint into the water. He could barely make out a shadow under the surface. "What's under there? Did Shelly put in a Sharpedo tank?"
Matt looked over his shoulder, then pushed Brendan away. "Whatever Archie and Shelly are doing in there is none of your business," he snapped. "You have to deal with me first!"
Brendan felt every part of his body rise to the challenge. "Then let's go," he said through his teeth. "Breloom, do the thing!"
"Mightyena, you're on!"
The battle was fast and, on Brendan's end, mostly painless. Spoink even evolved into Grumpig in the battle against the Golbat.
Matt had only come after him with two Pokémon, and though he looked like he was reaching for his Sharpedo, he stopped and admitted defeat before Brendan could replace Grumpig with Breloom again.
"You're too late!" Matt cheered, fist-pumping the air. "Archie and Shelly are halfway gone! You can stay and finish our battle, but then..." his enormous muscles twitched, and he seemed to enjoy it when May made a disgusted face. "What difference would it make?"
"I'm going to punch this guy," Brendan hissed as Matt made his retreat. "In the face, with a brick."
"I'll set the brick on fire." May was, once again, right behind him in his insanity. He must have been a bad influence after all.
Which was a good thing, because May was a good influence on him. If he'd never met her, he might have just accepted defeat and let Team Aqua and Team Magma take each other out, watching the catastrophe with a feeling of grim satisfaction as he and his entire family either drowned or boiled to death in the baking sun.
But since he had met May, he just re-summoned Wailord and told it to take them to Mossdeep City, where he could battle the twins and prepare for the important rematches.
Pokémon teams:
Brendan: Adam, Breloom, Lairon, Grumpig (evolved) Shuppet
May: Jerry, Masquerain, Pikachu, Torkoal, Latias, Dusky