Archie really needs to learn to think before he acts.

They recognized Steven's house immediately by the collection of very heavy rocks he used as lawn decorations, in places where most people would put little gnomes. Brendan raised his hand to knock, briefly reconsidered, and then slammed down on the door before he could change his mind again.

The door opened immediately, and they were greeted by the very same Metang that had helped Mega Latias win the battle against Maxie and Tabitha. Steven himself was at a desk, carefully examining a smaller chunk of rock and taking notes. Once he'd finished, he looked up to see that he had visitors.

"I'm sorry," he said quickly, covering the rock and the papers. "I was too caught up in my work to notice you'd arrived."

"My dad gets that way, too," Brendan said, dismissing it. "You promised to give us free stuff, right?"

"Not free," Steven corrected. "You have put the effort into earning this."

He handed them a small disc that they recognized as an HM, with a single word written on the case in marker: Dive.

"You can use that to go underwater," he told them. "It teaches a Pokémon to filter the air around itself to make it breathable for trainers and land Pokémon, too."

"I think Wailord already knows Dive," May said, but Brendan was already putting it away in his bag.

"Wailord is a rental from your dad," he reminded her. "We might need Jerry to do this."

"I'm not using my Swampert as an HM slave, Brendan. That's why we call my dad in the first place."

Steven cleared his throat, getting them focused again. "Either way you look at it, it's yours. Thank you again for your help."

They caught the 'suggestion' that they leave. So, they thanked Steven for the HM, promised to call him if they needed to, and hurried out the door.

Steven made sure he saw them walk past the windows before he returned to the stone. "They'd better be what I think they are," he told Metang. "Winona won't let me hear the end of it otherwise."

"It says that Sootopolis City is believed to have been formed by a crater long ago," May read off her Pokenav, as Brendan steered the Wailord across the sea. "It's also said that there are only two entrances to the city. The first is from above."

"And what's the second? Walking or Surfing right into it?"

May shook her head. "From below."

Oh, great. "So we Dive, then?"

"Only in the deep water."

"What do you think I am?" Brendan demanded, waving his hands around in mock anger. "Some kind of idiot?"

"The likable kind," May said, almost placating. "Don't worry, we have Wailord and, in case he doesn't know it already, the Dive HM. And the badges we got from Tate and Liza, which give us permission to use Dive outside of battle in the first place."

Brendan, for once, couldn't think of a smart-aleck response. "Dive," he ordered the Wailord instead, and the enormous Pokémon obeyed.

The water swirled around them, but inside the bubble, it was filtered to allow Brendan and May to breathe. May reached out to touch it, but Brendan held her back. "We don't know what will happen if you do that," he told her, and she returned her hands to Wailord's back. "And you say I'm the idiot."

"You are," May insisted, poking him in the back to tell him she didn't mean the insult. "I'm just curious about everything. It appeals to my inner Ravenclaw."

Did she really make that particular reference? "Nerd."

"Criminal."

Brendan stuck out his tongue, still not facing her, and made the loudest, wettest fart noise he could. May couldn't even think of a response immature enough to be used, but she didn't have to. Brendan had steered Wailord into a cave, and they had found a submarine.

Why couldn't they just wander into Sootopolis, like they'd planned?

May's voice was surprisingly small. "What are the odds that this is the entrance to Sootopolis?"

When Wailord surfaced, the kids were surprisingly dry. Wailord himself got to be wet again for a few short moments before they moved forward, preparing to face Team Aqua again.

"Just so we're clear," Brendan asked, as they started to wander aimlessly through the cave, "what's the opposite of Groudon?"

May was unnecessarily quiet. "I can't say," she finally managed. "I've only ever seen it written - maybe I've heard it once but didn't really process, or maybe I just wasn't listening. I can SPELL it, I have a rough idea of what the Pokémon looks like, but I can't pronounce it."

It said something about how bad the situation was that Brendan couldn't even find amusement in the fact that she didn't know everything. "Then describe it."

"That I can do." May held her arms out like an airplane's wings. "It's big, but mostly long. And it's a whale, almost, with ribbon-like tail fins instead of the fins we see on Wailord. And, of course, the rumors say that it flooded the entire world with its power to bring rain..."

"So that's why Team Aqua is after it," Brendan realized. "Don't they realize that rain comes from evaporation? Which comes from the same ocean they're trying to expand..."

"I don't think they know anything," May pointed out, ignoring the fact that Brendan had used actual science. He'd probably declare himself the Nerd King or something. "Not much beyond how to walk and talk and eat solid food, at any rate."

She let Latias out to move a few boulders with her psychic powers, likely pushed into place by a Mightyena's Strength to keep annoying kids out. It didn't do any good against anyone, except maybe Wattson...then again, she was pretty sure there was at least one Electric-type that could use Strength.

But she took comfort in the fact that she and Brendan had handled these people before. And she had a supernaturally-powered Pikachu, while Archie had a Sharpedonite at best.

She glanced at her own Key Stone, then hindsight hit her hard. She stopped moving, concerning Brendan slightly. "Maxie had a Key Stone," she said quietly. "He had it, it was built into his glasses...and his Camerupt had a Cameruptite. Why didn't he use it?"

There was only one way Brendan could imagine it. "Maybe he knew the volcano thing was a bad idea," he suggested. "Maybe he was just too stubborn to admit it."

"You mean he let Steven and me win?"

"No. But he might have wanted you to win. There's a subtle difference." He grinned. "Tate let you win."

May could feel her entire face turn Cheri Berry red as the memory of her friend's comments in the Mossdeep Gym resurfaced. "I would have won anyway," she mumbled, staring at the floor. "All he did was refuse to take the chance I was offering."

But Brendan did make her feel better about it. That was nice.

With Latias and her psychic abilities replacing not only Strength but allowing them to illegally float over harsh currents of water that would have left them frustrated for hours, they knew they were heading the right way when they found Shelly and a grunt standing guard over nothing.

"You two again," Shelly said, not at all shocked by the fact that they were interfering. "On a normal occasion, I'd say we're checking this place out to use as a new base. However, I did want to pay you back for what happened at the Weather Institute."

"And I want to pay you back for the cave AND the forest," the grunt added. He pulled a ball from his belt, and seemed to pause for a minute as Brendan and May both mirrored it. He looked up at Shelly for approval. "Will you join me?"

"I might as well. I owe them a taste of their own medicine."

She didn't seem as happy as she should have been, but she released her first Pokémon anyway. The grunt followed her example, and Brendan and May were close behind him.

"Pikachu, take the stage!"

"Breloom, do the thing!"

Shelly took defeat gracefully, compared to last time. "You two are ignorant brats," she said, "but I don't care anymore. This was just a stall tactic."

"Archie's over there," the grunt said, pointing ahead into another chamber. "And you can't get to him before we can!"

He took off running, and Shelly stayed behind to glare at the kids. "I expected more from you," she told them. "I thought by now you would have learned to stay out of our way."

"Why?" Brendan shrugged. "Beating you guys over and over again is just practice for the Elite Four."

"Do you really think that your badge quest is important now?" Shelly gestured at the hole the grunt had just disappeared through. "We are trying to raise global sea level here."

"We get it," Brendan said, cutting into her monologue. "We got here by accident ourselves, but we are not going to sit around and watch as you and your boyfriend decide to drown an entire planet. We 'ignorant brats' live here, too."

Shelly didn't even question the 'boyfriend' comment, but she did swear vengeance as she, too, went into the next chamber. Figuring that Archie was warned by now, they followed, and Latias and Grumpig working as a team made the boulder puzzle useless.

The fog was a little more difficult to navigate.

"Why didn't we use Flash?" Brendan complained. "I can't see my own nose!"

"Stop whining, you'll give us away!"

"I whine when I want to!"

"You're such a baby!"

Brendan restrained himself from saying something childish, and instead hushed her and pulled her behind a rock. May, sensing the seriousness, went quiet.

Brendan sent out Shuppet. "Lead us to Archie," he commanded. "You're a ghost, you can absorb fog, right?" Shuppet looked at him as if he were stupid. "Fine, just go and find him and then come back to us."

That, it seemed she could do, and she floated away. She returned after only a few seconds, and then floated off again, keeping the humans on the right path.

Archie, Shelly and the grunt were there, along with, unsurprisingly, a big whale-like Pokémon. And, unsurprisingly, they saw Brendan and May at the same time that Brendan and May saw them.

Archie didn't even blink. "So it was you, after all. I should have known that nobody else could defeat Shelly and..." he looked uncomfortably at the grunt, who glared at him and impatiently tapped his foot. "I want to say Bobby, but I know that's wrong."

"It is wrong, sir." The grunt kept foot-tapping, and Archie kept trying to think.

Finally, he gave up. "I seem to have forgotten your name," he finally admitted.

"It's Benjamin!" the grunt snapped back. "I don't know how people keep forgetting that, it's not an unusual name!"

Shelly rolled her eyes theatrically, but seemed to take Benjamin's side. "You've been forgetting a lot of things lately, Archie," she pointed out. "His name, the map of the base, my birthday..."

"I did not forget your birthday," Archie said defensively. "I was too busy with boss things to do more than make an announcement."

"And you barely did that."

Archie gestured at Brendan and May. "Do we have to have this argument in front of the children?" he asked, and the kids and Benjamin tried not to laugh.

"She's 'married to the ocean,' my butt," Brendan said after taking a second to compose himself.

"Married to Archie is more like it," May agreed.

"Matt might win the betting pool after all," Benjamin commented, for once not seeming to care that he and the kids were on opposite sides.

May instantly perked up. "What betting pool?" she asked excitedly, in the same way she always did when presented with the potential for new inspiration, or at least embarrassing stories. "Does this have anything to do with what we saw at the Weather Institute?"

"We don't need to know," Brendan insisted.

Archie and Shelly were giving Benjamin the look that Brendan recognized as 'exasperated parent,' but fortunately, the plan seemed to be more important than continuing this ridiculous conversation.

"Kyogre," Archie said, turning back to the whale as he pretended that it had never happened. May's mouth made a little 'O' as she realized that he had given her the proper way to say the beast's name. "I have waited so long for this day to come. The children are the only deviation from the plan."

Brendan couldn't help himself. "You and Shelly have kids, too?"

"I'm going to enjoy watching Kyogre eat this brat," Shelly said to herself, not taking her eyes off of Kyogre.

Archie stopped what he was doing, and for a moment, Brendan thought he was getting out the Red Orb. Instead, he reached for a Pokeball.

"I see where Shelly went wrong in the Weather Institute," he said, looking down at Brendan. "You defeated her. Your victory was the flaw in our plan. In order to win, we have to beat you now."

Brendan faked innocence, hoping that Breloom was strong enough for what he knew was the inevitable match against a Mega Sharpedo. "But we've already taken care of Shelly and Butch."

"Benjamin!" the grunt hissed.

"Quiet, Buford. I'm having my first real grown-up conversation."

Archie didn't want to continue it. "Mightyena, get rid of him!"

Brendan grabbed the first ball he could find. "Lairon, do the thing!"

Archie cowered in fear of the mighty Breloom. Breloom cowered in fear of the Mega Sharpedo.

The Sharpedo didn't have a type advantage now, but it was just so evil-looking that it caught the Grass-type off guard. He knew that a Mach Punch could probably take it, but he wasn't sure if he could handle the potential Rough Skin follow-up.

"Just use Mach Punch!" Brendan commanded. "We're going to a Pokémon Center for Lairon and Grumpig, do you think we're not going for you?"

That snapped Breloom out of his fear. "You know what?" He laughed a little and curled up his tail, preparing for the fight. "I should have known better. Brendan's a good trainer. Whether or not he's a good person is up for debate, but he's a good trainer."

"Archie is, too!" Mega Sharpedo pointed out. "He gives me a whole ocean to swim in and feeds me treats for not bothering him too much."

"A few too many treats, from the look of it," Breloom said, as if he were making an observation anyone could notice, before he slammed his tail-fist down, right on the shark's nose. Now, unless Archie had a non-Mega Sharpedo in there...

But no. Archie was all out of Pokémon. "I lost to a child?" he complained, and when Shelly and Benjamin stepped closer to ask if he needed help, he shook them off. "No. The boy won, it's in his rights to see me fall into despair. We're doing it anyway."

"Doing what?" Benjamin asked, uncertain, but Archie pulled the Red Orb from a hidden pocket in his suit's tail.

"Our plan," Archie replied. "Regardless of my defeat, with or without these kids present, we are going through with our plot to expand the sea, exactly as we planned."

"Archie," Shelly said, glancing between the Red Orb and the slowly-waking Kyogre, "we wrote that plan out on the back of a Pokemart receipt! I'm starting to wonder if this is really the best way to do this. I managed to copy a few notes from the Weather Institute..."

"We've come this far," Archie reminded her. "We can't let Team Magma beat us!"

Shelly waited a second longer, then decided not to voice her obvious concern and took shelter behind a large rock.

The Red Orb lit up, dispelling the fog. The ground shook, and Kyogre's eyes snapped open. It slowly made its way to the humans, before it opened its mouth, showed off its large, sharp teeth, and screamed at them, so loudly that Dusky was startled out of his ball.

"Sound the alarm! The frogs are coming!" He whirled his head around frantically, dimly processing that May was still in one piece, and that Brendan was still standing as well. Noticing that there were no frogs around did not do him any favors. His concern was immediately shifted to the giant blue legendary Pokémon staring him down. Then he glared around at the humans. "What idiot thought that this was a good idea?"

Kyogre screamed again, and then dove into the deep. Dusky's glare settled on Archie, who was doing an amazing job at not noticing the angry Absol.

"It didn't work," Archie said slowly. "It didn't...how? I was so careful in my planning, I thought the Blue Orb would have been too obvious..."

A sharp sound came from the device on his belt, and he picked it up. Then he said a word that suddenly made sense out of the phrase 'swear like a sailor.' "Shelly...what's-your-name. Get outside. We might be walking the plank on this one."

"Walking the plank?" Shelly dared to ask.

"Apparently, the heavy rain we summoned Kyogre for..." Archie stopped, then forced himself to go on. "There was a miscalculation. It all seems to be coming down in a particular area, instead of average heavy rain across the world." Shelly looked like she wanted to gloat, but she held her tongue. This was serious, and she didn't want to cause Archie any more problems.

May had no such restraint. "And what did you think was going to happen?" she demanded. "That Kyogre would make it rain only when you wanted it to, and not whenever it felt like it? You tried to kidnap Latias for her Mega Stone, tried to control the weather, and now you're basically peeing all over a hypothetical god's free will. Not to mention that all that rain has to come from somewhere, so you're pretty much just recycling old stuff faster than natural evaporation." She narrowed her eyes and tilted her head, looking a lot like her Absol in that moment. "Any more brilliant ideas, Archie?"

Thunder crashed on outside. "I'm done," Archie promised.

"Good. Now." She nodded at Brendan. "Swear your eternal allegiance to Brendan and me - to Team Breakneck."

"You're kids, guys," Benjamin started, but Archie and Shelly, very reluctantly, raised their right hands.

"We swear," they chorused.

"Good enough." She turned to Brendan, her anger gone but her optimism gone with it. "Well, Sneakers? What's your plan?"

He didn't have the heart to tell her that he didn't have one. "To the surface, me hearties," he said, in his best pirate impression. "We'll figure this out from there."