A/N: Angsty Knight Rook ficlet. Set soon after Alice has vanquished Gothel. Planning to add one more chapter to wrap things up.
Killian waves goodbye to Alice and unlocks his apartment. The first thing he notices when he steps inside is the silence. He walks up to the middle of the living room and stands still contemplating the once more empty apartment. Every nook and corner of the room screams of Alice now. Now that he has his memories back, he notices the similarities between the arrangement of furniture in the room and the circular room of the tower.
His face crumples. Was his life meant to be as circular as that room in the tower? Always retracing the same worn stone tiles, never moving forward? How long would he and Alice have to pay for his one prideful mistake of long ago? He had lost hope at one point—he had let himself go. But that extraordinary meeting with the Savior and his other self had given him a new lease of life even if his own intentions had been less than honorable in the beginning. As a result, the last ten years of his life in the Enchanted Forest had certainly been better than the long years of drunkenness, self-pity, and depression that had preceded them. At the very least, he had been able to see Alice every day, even if only from a distance. He had known that she was loved by other people—people who had grown to care about him as well.
He contrasts that with the past few weeks when neither he nor his Starfish had known their true identities, and yet had lived under the same roof once more. Killian does not know whether he prefers the blissful oblivion of the recent past to living in the painful reality where his cursed heart once again keeps them apart. Is it better to remember who he is and who Alice is, even if he is unable to be near her? Or had the blissful ignorance of Detective Rogers been a blessing in disguise, as it had allowed him to take care of his little Rook once again as a father?
Killian feels a surge of pride as he remembers how Alice defeated the monster Gothel. He had spoken the truth. His Alice makes him stronger. He smiles. He is much more clear-headed now. He will not give in to despair. Just as he promised his little Starfish, he will not give up until he finds a way to break the curse that keeps them apart.