A/N: This chapter is all about Puck after he joined Glee Sophomore year. It includes the time period where he and Mercedes dated.

I never really understood why people always assume that Puck and Mercedes never did any making out or legitimate hanging together as a fake couple. I mean, what motivation would a smart woman have for allowing a guy to use her for popularity…without some quid pro fucking quo? Putting myself in Mercedes' place, I would definitely have taken my recompense in the form of friction from the 'Zilla. It's only fair after all.

Anyway, I hope you guys like it…

Also, a huge thank you goes out to ladysnowsu, PerfectLover, and Goalihta-Leigh...you guys were my first reviewers on this fic. This chapter is dedicated to you guys.

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, or it's characters.

Chapter 3

A New Crop of Lovelies

The day I walked into Glee for the first time, I was actually pretty excited by how hot all the chicks in the club were. And I ain't talking about the chicks everybody's already banged…Santana and Brittany. Quinn either; those three are so used to motherfuckers chasing them it ain't funny... I can hardly stand to be in the same room with their asses. I'm talking about Berry, that Chang girl, and Mercedes.

Berry was this tiny little Hebrew spitfire with a pre-op Jew nose. Her attitude was pretty shitty but she had a great voice and a real cute face. Some of the crap that came out of her mouth (and a lot of the shit she did, too) were pretty fucked up, but the girl had balls; and I respected the hell out of her for it. The Asian one with the Jewish middle name was hot too, in a Gothic fairy kinda way. She really rocked her black clothes, the weird highlights, and vampire makeup. Plus, Asian chick had the same pair of Doc Martens as me, too…which meant she was automatically a badass in my eyes. And it really tripped me out whenever she used to go off on people; ole' girl got a seriously short fuse.

But the one I really liked was Lil Mama. I know I gave Quinn a bunch of mess about not diggin on fat chicks way back when she kept Super-Sizing shit, but that was just mostly cause I like pushing her buttons. If you want to see Quinn turn red and start huffing and puffing, just tell her she's put on a few; that shit is hilarious. I really didn't mean it…I honestly like all kinds of chicks. Mercedes back then was well into the fluffy stage, but on her it was fine as hell.

She was this short little thing, with these tiny ass hands and feet; I immediately thought she was adorable as fuck. Back then she wore her hair all curly, and that's always been my thing...Maybe it's because the only Jewish girls at my Temple who don't straighten theirs are also the only ones with any balls. Or maybe I just dig a chick that can be different and own that shit. Jones got a pretty face, too; it's all big pretty eyes, long sexy eyelashes, those kissy-ass lips, and cute puffy cheeks.

And I gotta say, baby know she got a hot ass body…Jones might be bigger than most of the other girls at school, but she's for damn sure still made up right. I still remember this outfit she wore when that old-ass April Rhodes was in our class (I love my MILFS, but even I gotta admit its pretty creepy for one to show up at school) helping us get to Invitationals. 'Cedes wore this white shirt, a tight vest, and a clingy skirt that showed her big ol booty off. I'm ain't playin when I say Mercedes Jones is completely hot.

Lil Mama is cool, and we got along pretty good from the first day I joined Glee. I know Jones likes to act like she's mad all the time, and she'll cuss you out in a minute; but me and Rutherford never did fall for that shit, we knew it was a fucking act. Compared to some of the Cheerios and the rest of the Glee girls, she's a goddamn softie.

Shue was always putting me and her together for dance numbers, so I actually got closer to her than any other Glee dude. She and I would practice moves together at rehearsal, and sometimes if the routine was really complicated, we'd skip lunch and work on 'em. So whenever we had a routine where the guys lifted the girls or picked 'em up and swung 'em in a circle; I always made sure to partner up with her, cause she felt really good in my arms. She was this sweet smelling, cuddly, ball of energy and she jiggled her tits whenever I accidentally tickled her…and I dug on that shit.

Mercedes and I never really had much contact outside of dance numbers; we didn't hang out after school or nothing, but had some moments that let me know we were cool. Like, when 'Cedes and the girls sang "Halo/Walking on Sunshine" and she caught me leering at her in that yellow halter dress. She didn't act like she was all offended or go off about me disrespecting her womanhood or any of that bullshit. Jones just flipped the shit back on me, talking about how hot I looked in my leather jacket and chucks when we guys did "Confessions/It's My Life." She's just cool like that, and real hard to offend.

Or that time Sue came to the choir room and took all the ethnic kids to be in her off-shoot Glee club. I guess Lean-and-Mean didn't realize I was actually a Hebrew bro, but Mama did. She kind of hung around the doorway after the rest of 'em had taken off down the hall, like she was still waiting for Sylvester to call my name. That put a smile on my face too.

Right after that everybody in school found out Quinn was pregnant, so I kinda quit paying attention to our budding friendship. I still always got a laugh whenever she went off in Glee though.

That was around the time I tried to convince myself that I was in love with Que…believe me, I really did try. I promised to help her, I gave her money, offered to be with her so I could be the dad I never had. And what was my reward, what the hell did Quinn tell me? That I was a Lima Loser and to get the fuck outtta her face. So I decided to fuck with her head and start dating Rachel. Watching how pissed off Que got whenever Finn hung out with Berry was seriously funny, so I figured I could get her goat by hittin' on her too. Quinn couldn't stand it whenever she couldn't control Finn or tell him who not to spend time with.

After I hooked up with Jew-Girl, Quinn flipped the fuck out. Started flirting with me and asking me to baby-sit with her. At the time, nobody except Mercedes even knew she was secretly having my baby, so it never occurred to me Quinn was looking for us to play happy families together.

A smarter man would have realized Quinn only asked me to baby-sit so she could watch me and see what kind of daddy I would be, but I honestly just figured she wanted to bone again. I mean, who the hell stops fucking after just one time? Plus, I got her off so good she had tears streaming down her face before she finally put her clothes on and went the hell home. So I did what I always do when I got a girl interested in getting naked…I ignored her ass all night. I spent the whole time we were at Shuester's in-laws texting Satan, then waited for Que to put the kids to sleep so we could fuck on the sofa. I only realized she was testing me when she kissed me good night on the cheek and thanked me for being so great with the kids.

By the time we Glee kids were in that mattress commercial, Quinn was happy with lying to Finn about it being his baby, and Rachel was on some fucked-up 'gotta get him back' shit. I pretty much stayed out of the drama, and focused on how cool it was flopping around in the commercial on the same bed with Jones. I even got to grope her once or twice when we both fell over into the middle of the mattress.

But that whole week of Sectionals was fucked up. I found out the hard way that Jones had told the whole club about my baby mama. Some fucking body let Rachel figure the shit out, and Berry told Finn. I may have deserved the ass kicking he gave me, but I always thought Finn was wrong for up and quitting Glee like that. We almost didn't get to compete because of the shit storm and drama. We did though, and after we won, Quinn came to live with me and my family.

Best 9 Days of My Life

When I got the idea to use a Cheerio to get my mojo back after my Mohawk got shaved, I knew I could have gotten Quinn to play boyfriend/girlfriend with me. Or one of the damn JV Cheerios; they're always looking for a reputation boost. But Jones was my first choice from the get-go.

And when I made my play in the hall that she shut down with the quickness? That's when I knew I'd made the right choice. I mean, she had a point…musical chemistry is important, right? Especially to somebody who knew she wanted to sing for the rest of her life…plus I never did like a chick who didn't give me a little bit of a hard time. I figured since all the other Glee dudes were always getting girls by singing to 'em, I could do the same thing.

After 'Cedes joined me singing the Sammy Davis Jr. song I knew I was in; but Mama made sure I never stopped working to keep her on my arm. That day after Glee, she invited me over to her house so we could talk "terms" and shit.

After we got to her house, Mercedes and I went into her kitchen, where she made me a turkey sandwich and gave me a bottle of water. Then she started negotiations.

"Puck, I'm gonna just start by admitting that I've been watching you all year long," Jones started.

The Hell?

"What do you mean, 'watching me'?" I asked.

Cause if she's on some Swimfan shit, I don't care how cute her ass is. I'm gonna have to give Miss Jones a pass.

"I mean, you're a hottie; and I've had a crush on you since October when you joined Glee."

Okay, that's pretty fucking cool.

"For real?"

"Operative word here? Had! I HAD a crush on you...I'm over it now..."

Over the Badass?

"...And my former crush was in no way 'Zilla' or 'Saurus' influenced. I liked you because I figured your coming to Glee meant you were over being a bullying asswipe."

Harsh!

"And now?"

"And now, I know you're the kind of uber-asswipe who would knock up his best frend's girl. I know Quinn was guilty too, but your friendship with Finn was your relationship to keep...and you blew it; that's why I was so hard on you when you told me the truth."

Shit, did she invite me here just to turn me down again?

"I mean, in a way its almost a shame that you're new haircut is even sexier than the Mohawk, since knowing your true colors means I can't actually use this agreement to fulfill some of my fantasies about kissing you in the halls like you used to do with Santana...

That's even harsher.

"...because I can't even fool myself into considering you boyfriend material. But it is what it is... It doesn't even matter now, because you want my help and I want to give it to you."

O-Kay...

"Why?"

"A few reasons; first of all... did you know that Santana took Finn's V-Card during Madonna week?"

"Sure, they got busy in a motel room."

Everybody knew that shit...'cept Rachel.

"Before it happened, Rachel got all of us Glee girls together to ask our advice about whether she should sleep with Jesse or not."

"I bet you anything she didn't do it," I challenged her.

Who the hell needs sex when you can just get off on being a drama queen?

"You're right, but when everybody was going on and on about all of the disrespect they were getting from the Glee boys, I didn't have very much to add to the conversation."

"Why not?"

"Because I ever had a boyfriend. I guess guys who I'm close to always put me in the friend zone. And the boys who ask me out never tried me..."

Bunch of fucking dumb-asses.

"...It's embarrassing to admit this, but I've never even had a guy try to get under my shirt."

Make that a bunch of fucking pussy-fied dumbasses.

"So I want you to show me the ropes; I mean, love the idea of canoodling with a boyfriend. I know this is just an arrangement to you, but at least this way I know better than to get attached..."

Lil Mama must not realize she had my ass at "canoodling."

"...So I can finally have a little bit of smoochy time with a guy I'm really attracted to...without the whole 'is he gonna dump me for not putting out' drama. If you can see yourself getting with me like that, I'll accept your fake-date proposal."

Is she kidding?

"So you want me to make out with you and grope you in the halls at school?"

"No way, Puck! I'm talking about private kisses, man...I want the experience; not to become infamous because everybody thinks I'm boning a Titan!"

What a rocking-ass chick!

"I can do that...what else?"

"Well, I don't want you playing around on me once you get your juice back. When your Mohawk starts growing, the other popular girls are gonna swarm. So when you decide you want to hop back on the Cheeri-hoes, give me the heads up beforehand?"

"Not a problem, Mama...that all?"

"And we have to spend legitimate time together if we want to make it believable. So you can come see me after school or I can go to your house as often as we can while we're together."

"Shit, that sounds like fun...Mercedes?"

"Yeah, Puck?"

"You need to go on ahead and pucker up..."

I was her "boyfriend" for a total of 9 days, and I gotta say, it was the best relationship I ever had. We got along real good. She kicked ass at violent video games, loved watching action movies with me all day, and could cook her fucking ass off. 'Cedes helped me baby-sit my little sister and basically did all my English homework for me. The best part was that she even listened when I complained about Quinn.

Let me just say, if I had known Que was gonna be moving in with me and my family, I never would have fucked her. Real talk, she was the complaining-est, bitching-est, rudest person I ever in my whole life had to hang around. Yeah, pregnancy hormones might have played a part in the shit, but damn…even I had better manners than Quinn did back then. She didn't like the fact that Moms only buys turkey bacon, she couldn't stand sharing a bathroom with me, she hated being responsible for Michelle on the days I wasn't around, even complained about having to ride to school with me in my truck…bitch never quit running her mouth.

The biggest problem we had was sleeping in the same bed. Moms was all about "creative parenting" and wouldn't let Quinn sleep in the room with Michelle or move into the guest room. Mama Puckerman told us that since we laid up in the bed together long enough to act grown and make a baby, we could act like a grown couple and share a bed, too. Que may look prissy, but sleeping with her was like sleeping with two or three Titans…She used to kick, drool, steal covers, and fart her ass off. And I know her ass is Catholic, but was it absolutely necessary for her to sleep like Jesus on the Cross? Nobody else even noticed how much sleep I was losing or how tired I was, 'cept for 'Cedes.

After I unloaded all this shit on her, Jones promised to try and research for some ways of convincing my mom to let her move her ass into another bed. Kept saying there must be an article online somewhere about pregnant moms getting more rest if they slept alone. Mama figured if my mom wanted a healthy grandbaby, then she'd listen to her.

Not only that, but Jones used to tell me how sexy it was that I helped my mom out so much. She always said any girl would be lucky to be my baby mama cause I was already such a good daddy figure to Michelle. That shit really helped me feel better when I got down on myself. Just her listening to me got me past some pretty rough shit, and the making out didn't suck either.

If Mama hadn't told me she'd never been kissed, I never woulda guessed it. Ol' girl had the best fucking lips I ever laid one on. Mama had this trick of nibbling on my lower lip and slipping me the tongue while stroking my shaved head, then she'd let out these tiny little moans that made me lose my damn mind. Sometimes, she'd move her plump ass mouth across my neck and suck so lightly I barely felt it, leaving these little love bites that only I ever knew were even there. That shit was hot as fuck. Her mouth was the sweetest tasting thing I'd ever kissed and we made out so much some days I was too tired to talk when I got home. Add that to the fact that she wasn't opposed to a little light gropeage, and I swear I hoped our PR relationship would last all the way through high school.

I'm not gonna lie and say Jones and I ever really went too far. I never saw any of that soft skin without clothes on, I didn't meet the twins face to face, and I never went anywhere near below the belt. But the day before we broke up I managed to get her sorta halfway under me on her daddy's recliner while we made out. Laying on top of Mama was a trip…she's about a foot shorter than me, so when I felt her wrap one of her legs around me, the tips of her toes grazed the back of my knees. It would have been funny if it hadn't been so sexy.

I could tell Jones wasn't a prude at all…Mama never struck me as the type who would fuck a guy for status or to gain a rep, but she wasn't all prissy about waiting for marriage either. Far as I could guess, she would probably wait til she fell in love before having sex, then break some headboards getting it in without any shame. I actually respected the hell out of her for having such a good attitude.

I was pretty much hovering above her at a safe distance while kissing her pretty lips to keep myself from dry humping her. My dick was ready to burst through my jeans, and if I'd have grinded into her ain't no way she could ignore it. I knew if I went too far, she would pump the brakes, and I wanted that soft body under me for as long as I could have it. Then she slipped a hand under my tee shirt and fiddled with my nipple ring while sucking on my neck, and I couldn't help myself... I just said fuck it, might as well get a little friction before she made me get off her. So I got fully relaxed and let my hips go flush against hers.

I got to say, Jones really knows how to roll with the punches. She gave a sexy little giggle, then moaned when she felt how hard I was. I'm blessed enough to know she was probably impressed, and it kind of turned me on even more when I realized she wasn't gonna get scared and inch away from me. Then I quit thinking so damn hard and let my hands roam down to feel on that ass.

Damn, I love a big butt…and Mama's is perfect; I bet I could rest a beer on the shelf that apple booty makes when she stands up. It was all soft and shit in my hands. She didn't seem to mind my hands on her backside, so I moved 'em frontside so I could squeeze her tits through the shirt. I heard her let out this sexy little kitten noise, and I felt her lips smile under mine. I was about to slip my hand inside her shirt when her alarm rang on her phone to let us know her mom was on the way home.

We stood up, straightened our clothes, and I let her walk me out. After I kissed her goodbye and walked to my truck, I made up my mind to ask her to be my girl for real the next day.

Text Messages:

MercyMine to Puckzilla: I had fun 2day!

Puckzilla to MercyMine: me2

MercyMine to Puckzilla: want me2 ride wit u n Que 2morrow?

Puckzilla to MercyMine: Hells yea, Q less evil wen u ridin!

MercyMine to Puckzilla: OK, CU 2morrow *

Puckzilla to MercyMine: U2 *

A/N: I had to end the fic here, because I wanted add a little more fluff before the big breakup...until I update, thanks for all of the reviews, favs and follows.

Love you all!