A/N: This chapter jumps back to the present…around the time Jake calls Puck up asking for advice about Ryder and Marley. Part of the reason I wanted to start a Puckcedes story, is because I love how much the 'Zilla has grown up over the years. I want to do an accurate portrayal of his growth, while telling a really hot love story.

I hope you guys like the update, and thank you for the support!

Thanks to JessiMae888, cmpunkfangurl, ladysnowsu Goalihta-Leigh, gdhill, CENAORTONFAN69, PerfectLover, mzsj, ShaLoveD30, and Koxie for leaving reviews since my last update. You guys gave a lot of amazing comments that cracked me up and helped me stay focused! I totally appreciate you…

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or Puck, or Mercedes, or Sam, or Jake, or Mr. Shuester…you get the picture.

In Retrospect…

Sitting here thinking back on all of this stuff, I guess I probably should have recognized my feelings for Mama for what they were a lot sooner than I did. Like that dream I had? I should have realized I was in love, when Dream 'Zilla didn't try to fuck Mama or at least get a blow job. I mean, have you see Lil Mama's lips…they're made for sinning and shit. But the only thing running through Dream Puck's mind was making her feel good. Even in the middle of a freaky-deaky ass dream, the 'Zilla had no intention of disrespecting Mama; even though Puckasaurus back then was all about plucking cherries. I supposed that was the first clue I missed.

Plus, after Beth was born; I was a lot more comfortable hanging out at the Jones' house than I was up in my own crib. My mom might be a hard-ass, and she doesn't hesitate to tell me when I'm fucking up or reminding her of my dad…but I know she loves me. When I was staying at Mercedes' house my mom called me up on the daily, begging me to come home. But all I wanted to do was help Lil Mama cook dinner for her folks, play video games with her, and do our homework together. Hanging out with the Jones family felt way more natural, and that shoulda clued me in on how much I was digging on her.

In some ways I guess I'm kind of grateful for having to go through Beth's adoption, since it's what really brought Mercedes into my life. But the shit also sent me reeling in ways I wasn't ready for, too. I mean, I was getting high every day that summer, then going to work out or clean pools while I was still blazed as hell. I fucked every MILF in Lima two or three times, and even talked Santana's boob doctor into hooking me up with this shady urologist he knew who had hell-ified a coke habit. That's how I got my vasectomy. And I basically spent the whole two months vacation acting like a bitch-ass… getting on my mom's nerves by staying fucked up all the time, then arguing with her whenever my ass wasn't high. Maybe on some level I resented her ass for not agreeing to help me get custody of Beth. And I definitely felt like punching a wall every time Moms felt the need to inform me that I was acting just like my Pops (which was just about every damn day). So my attitude was basically just me spreading the misery around. Pretty much the only time I acted like I was about shit that summer was when Jones came over to sit for Michelle.

Learning and Growing…

Losing my daughter also taught me some shit I needed to learn…like, REALLY needed to fucking learn. 'Cedes and her family definitely taught me the value of reaching out and showing a hurt person some love…And I took that shit to heart. Like when Shue called me and begged me to come and knock some sense into my half-bro Jake. He's the one I called an asshole-in-training. Shue told me part of the reason Jake fucked up so much was because he's so angry at our Pop. Jake was running around doing shitty stuff, then telling everybody loud and clear that they couldn't put him in the "Puckerman" category, because he wasn't like our dad and he wasn't like me. Reading between the lines, I figured Puck-With-A-Tan was just jealous that I got to live in the same house as our (literal) mutual motherfucker. I knew if I came and told Jake, point blank, that Daddy Puckerman treats me like a non-factor too…then we'd have some common ground. And the shit fucking worked. If I hadn't been on the receiving end of so much love and kindness back when 'Cedes watched out for me, I never would have been able to help Jake out.

And that's probably the only reason Lil Bro trusts me to bare his damn soul to, now. Jake knew I had been planning to come back to McKinley for the musical or whatever, but I decided not to at the last minute. I was gonna…but Mercedes was flitting around here all excited to see Sam and shit. Talking about how Artie begged her and Mike to make special appearances as guest singing coach and choreographer; and what a big surprise it was gonna be for her man when she showed up. I ain't even wanna put myself through watching Samcedes do school foreplay, then have to imagine them fucking each other's brains out when they finally got alone. So I just drove 'Cedes to the airport, then stayed here. After she got back from Ohio, Jake called me to get in my ass about lying to him.

{RINGTONE}

"Noah Puckerman Enterprises."

"What the fuck bro?"

It was Jake, pissed off apparently.

"'Sup Bro-Man? How was your play?"

"Play was fine, but your ass is up; dude. You told me you were coming to McKinley! Why you bullshitting your little bro?"

I kind of felt bad about breaking my word, but I was also kinda flattered me and Jake were close enough for him to go off on me.

"I meant to call you, Blacker-Puck; but I had to dip on that shit…Big Bro got some serious mind-fuckery going on right about now, and I didn't feel like putting myself through that particular hell."

"What up?"

I wasn't planning on telling anybody this shit, but I kinda felt like I owed Jake for flaking on his ass. Plus, bros are supposed to share or whatever; Finn and Kurt are all the time having 'lady chats' and shit.

"First of all let me ask you…did you meet Mercedes when you guys were doing Grease tryouts?"

"You mean Miss Big-Girl-Sexy in the leggings and red high tops?"

"Yeah, that's her…she's my roommate. I kinda got a thang for her. So I wasn't trying to be rolling up in McKinley seeing her all hugged up with Sam. Decided to just stay my ass here."

"Whoa…Big Bro's a chubby chaser?" Jake chuckled. "Since when?"

I ain't really get offended by what Jake said, since I recognized his "ain't I an adorable asshole" laugh. Shit, I'm the one who invented that laugh. But I decided to school him anyway, just so he would know not to disrespect Jones, even in a joke.

"Hey, baby butt-wipe; I love that girl, and if you ever fix your mouth to talk down her hot body in my presence again, be ready for me to kick your curly-fro'd ass. You're my bro, so I'll help you tape up your ribs and ice your bruises and shit afterward…but you got a beat down coming the next time you bag on 'Cedes." I wanted to make sure he knew I was serious, so I went on. "Besides, Mama ain't chubby; she's thick like warm pound cake. Got Puckasaurus wanting to chew her up and swallow her down in this bitch."

"Hold the hell up, bro…first of all that was way too much damn information. Second, I was just fucking with you. I called her sexy, didn't I?"

Now I see why Sam threatened to beat my ass all them times I called Jones 'Sexy Mama" in front of him.

"And besides, if you saw my girl's mama you'd know I ain't got no prob with some extra body meat. If ole girl takes after her mother I'm-a be hiding underneath her tummy rolls between classes before long. I'm a Puckerman; you know how we roll. As long as a chick is pretty, got some sex appeal, and can get me laughing and shit; I could give a fuck about her body type."

Yep, that sounds about right.

"Well, anyway that's what's up."

"Why the hell would she be hugged up with Sam?"

"They been together off and on for a year. I ain't gonna try to steal my boy's lady, so I'm using the distance to resist that shit."

"Sam and Miss Sexy weren't all hugged up…they barely spoke."

This motherfucker…

"Aight son, on everything? Call her sexy one more time and you gotta punch coming your way come Thanksgiving. And I can't tell you why they weren't acting all lovey-dovey and shit, I just know that's why I stayed here." I wanted to change the subject so I asked him, "So who's the chick with the plus-size mama? She in Glee?"

"Yeah, the old-heads all call her 'The New Rachel,' whatever the fuck that means. She's cool. She ain't my girl yet, for real, but I'm working on it."

"She don't like you?"

"Her name's Marley; and yeah, she did like me at one time. But I kind of let my asshole ways mess me up. We were flirting and whatnot hardcore, but I started fucking with a Cheerio for my rep or whatever instead of getting with her. Now this other cat just joined Glee and wants her for himself. Can't stand his ass."

"Damn we really are related, bro. That's some real-talk Puck shit."

"Any advice?"

I thought about it for a minute before answering him.

"Let her know you're still interested. Don't sleep on that shit cause that's the pussy way. Put it on front street. Keep yourself on her mind, so she starts daydreaming about you and shit. You might get lucky."

"Makes sense. Hey, dude I gotta run, so I'll call you next week okay?"

"Yeah; okay, motherfucker. Sorry about the play, again."

"I get it, no problem."

"Love you, Mini-me."

"You too, Piss-ant."

That was last week. Yesterday, Jake called me up to tell me how the advice I gave him was working. Remember the dude pushing up on Marley, Ryder? Well, now he and Jake are best bros or something. They bonded or whatever, so Cocoa Puck's feeling all conflicted about liking Marley, now. He called me up to see if I had any advice about him possibly fucking over his new homie, since I'd already told him I was having the same problem with Sam. It really just reminded me about the fuckery I caused in me and Finn's friendship, so I made sure to shut that shit down. My pop was never around to teach me not to bone my bro's girl, but I wasn't gonna let Jake have the same excuse. I let him know it wasn't worth the damage to his friendship and told him to just wait that shit out. I was actually kinda proud of myself for growing the hell up.

Going Forward…

While I'm finding it pretty easy to school Jake, taking my own advice is getting fucking tricky. I can't just ignore my feelings anymore, so its hard to just act like Mama ain't in the same apartment. Instead of just chillin' in my room and watching porn online or going out to fuck hoes like I been doing; I'm finding myself hanging out in the condo and knocking on Jones' door to see if she wants to share a pizza and watch a movie with me after work. We were just hanging out together on the day I finally got up the balls to ask Jones how it was seeing Sam at McKinley. I figured my feelings weren't gonna go away anytime soon, but I could remind myself not to be a prick easier if I made sure his name came up in conversation.

I learned pretty quick that I needed to rethink that shit for the future, cause Mama talked my ears off for hours about the fight those two been having. Apparently, Sam's been helping Britt make Satan jealous by pretending to be her man. And he didn't think it was important to tell 'Cedes about the shit; or hell, ask her if it was okay. So Jones showed up at McKinley and the first thing she sees is Sam and Britt sitting next to each other in the auditorium looking all cozy and shit. Cedes was so mad she ignored his ass the whole time she was there.

I mean, I get it. Satan's a jealous-hearted shrew if ever there was one, and Britt knows her chick well enough to realize that her plan's definitely gonna work. Plus Sam's too loyal to ever cheat on his girl, for real; so on paper the shit makes sense. But Jones thinks he's using the pretend 'ship to battle his loneliness…kinda like Jones did when Sam moved last year and she started dating Tinsley. Mama's whole problem isn't Sam being Britt's fake man…it's the fact that he's getting some level of comfort from the friendship that he shouldn't be relying on anybody but her for. Mama has a point; I mean, every fake date Sam goes on with Britt is time he's taking away from talking to her. Plus Mama's been through it, so she learned that shit the hard way last year. She's pretty sure the situation won't end well; but Sam won't listen to reason.

The whole time she was talking about this shit, I listened as best I could, but I was mostly just happy as hell to be sitting on the sofa with her legs propped up on my thighs. Even with all the jawboning and shit it was comfortable, and homey. I'm not sure if I was really being a good friend, or if I was just trying to get some face time in with my crush…but I know I ain't cross any lines, since my dick stayed soft. I even managed to do something good, by telling 'Cedes to make up with Sam. I mean, next week is Thanksgiving and we're all gonna be going to Lima for the holiday and Sectionals. I told Jones that if she's still giving Sam the cold shoulder by then, she'd be wasting her vacation being mad and sad. Mama just told me she would hear him out and try to forgive his ass. In the meantime, she and I decided to go back together and make it a long-ass road trip. Since the trip is gonna take days, anyway, we decided to spend two nights in motels to sleep. I'm looking forward to the shit, but I'm also kinda worried that I'll say or do something to let 'Cedes know I'm into her. I guess I'll just worry about the shit when I have to.

I wonder if 'Cedes wants to hit the deli up the street with me, she loves the food of my people…

A/N: In this chapter, I really wanted to show the parallels between the Jake/Ryder/Marley issue and the Puck/Finn/Quinn issue from S1. I really hate that the show would recycle old plot lines, but since I'm only watching the new S4 hot mess on Youtube anyway ,I figure I could use it to tell the story. Also, Puck needs to find out how hard being a role model really is. He never looked up to his own dad, and didn't get to raise Beth…Now is his chance to find out how difficult it is to be responsible for another person. It's gonna help him get Mercedes later on in the fic.

Also, I wanted to thank all of you who offered constructive criticism for my dream sequence chapter. I know it was probably more funny than sexy, because I find sexy writing difficult. But I got some really sweet tips via PM for correcting that in the future….Thanks, you know who you are!