No one could speak as we all stared at the bright colored bottles and small diapers laid on the floor motionless. There had been times on what I didn't know what to do. This was one of them. My feet were locked in place, my breath was caught in my throat and the only sound in my ears was Mother's hard breathing. She was angry. She was livid. Her anger was something I've always known and seen, but this was the first time that I've seen her like this. Her face was as red as blood and her eyes looked like they were going to pop out of her skull.
Father was in the background, white and speechless. His expression said it all, he was blank and confused. In his eyes, you could see a tint of fear as he went from staring at the contents on the floor to Mother's frightening gaze. The silence was starting to become thicker and Seika couldn't take it any longer. She reached for her bag and with shaky hands, she returned the contents. We could only watch as she struggled to hold her composer.
Again, Mother repeated herself, "What the hell is this?"
Seika gulped, trying to steady herself. "It's gifts for a friend." She tried to lie but her body language and reaction to it falling gave it away. Mother approached her, forgetting me entirely. I wish I could feel relieved but now I was even more frightened. That wasn't the only feeling that was growing inside me. I felt anger and it was developing fast. There was also the feeling of wanting to protect Seika. Out of all the things I was feeling, I wanted to do one thing.
And I did it.
During Mother's advancement towards Seika, her hand raised, ready to hit my defenseless sister. I stepped in. With all my strength, I pushed her. From all the years of pain, longs nights of studying and the tears I shed from her torture. I pushed her hard, making her hit the ground with a smack. Father gasped as he rushed to his wife's side.
"Dear?" She didn't respond.
I wasn't done, however. I shoved Father aside as I got on top of her as she fluttered her eyes open. She winced from her head hitting the wooden floor, then saw me above her. Our eyes connected, anger flowing from both of us. This time, I had the upper hand. I was in control and it felt good. To have her body beneath me was like I was finally in control of what I wanted.
"Get off me, Hara." My name slipped off her tongue like pure toxic. For years, I would have begged to hear Mother call my name. To hear it in a sweet and loving tone. For once to be called my actual name other than something vile. For me to finally hear it, I wanted to hit her. I wanted her to bruise like I did. To see her skin turn purple and her eyes shed tears.
I raised my hand, about to finally give in to my urges. "Hara, stop!" Seika cried, grabbing on to my wrist. "This is enough so let's just stop!" I yanked myself free from her hand. I then looked at Mother straight in the eyes.
"I hate you."
Getting off her, I refused to be bothered by her anymore. She laid there, biting her lip so hard, blood was slipping from them. I took Seika's bag from her, grabbing her hand tightly. "We are leaving," I said, not even looking back.
"But Hara, what about Mother?" She asked, still scared and shaken.
I glanced at her with cold eyes, "I don't have one."
Once again we were sitting at a Cafe. It was a different one, however, as I was not allowed back at the one where I caused a scene with the Hosts. Seika was sipping on tea, her hands still shaking lightly. Her eyes were darting everywhere. She was afraid Mother would run after us. Trying to steady her breathing, she took a small sip. One of her hands were on her belly protectively.
If someone was to look at us, you would see two different expressions and behaviors. Seika was nervous, shivering and trying her best not run somewhere far away. Me, on the other hand, was calm and collected. My expression was hard like stone and I could only watch my sister, not wanting to say the wrong thing. I reached for her hand that was gripping her cup so tightly her knuckles were white. When she felt my cold hand on hers, she flinched but relaxed a little.
"What are we going to do?" She spoke up, her voice almost cracking. "I don't have anywhere to go."
I squeezed her hand, "That's not true. I'll think of something. I won't let you return to that place." Letting her go back would be like sending her to a tiger's den. She would be beaten and worse, she could lose the baby. Mother would never allow her to leave the apartment. If anyone found out one of her daughters were with child, her reputation would be ruined.
"I'm worried about Father..." She had tears ready to fall, "What if she takes her anger out on him."
"I don't think she would go that far."
Seika wiped her eyes, "Why did this have to happen?"
I squeezed her hand, "It's gonna be okay." I heard the bell ring from the door as someone entered. Seika saw them first and gasped. Walking in was Father, his tired eyes landed on us and he immediately approached the table.
"Hara!" He stopped in front of us, "Seika, oh thank god, I found you two. I was so worried." He sighed with relief. I felt Seika tense under my palm. The feeling of protection took over me again, I stood up to block her from his view.
"What is it?" I spoke coldly.
He flinched at my tone, frowning on how I could speak to him that way. "I have something to tell you."
"If it's about us coming back, we do not want to hear it."
Shaking his head, he grabbed one of my hands. I went to pull away but his grip was like iron. "After you two left, I spoke with your mother and I decided..." I saw his knees shaking and despite me wanting to remain firm, he was still my father. I pulled up a seat for him, making him sit down. "Thank you."
"Go on," I said, returning to my chair. Seika moved her chair closer to me, resting her hand on my arm. She tried her best to look tough but you could tell she was run down. There was too much going on for her and it was showing. I was proud of her though, she wasn't thinking about doing what I did when my life was hard.
"When you two left, I felt something." His face turned red from wanting cry. I've never seen my father cry. He was a hard-working man, despite never sticking up to Mother. He always did what he was told and supported us. It was weird to see him so emotional. However, I fought the urge to hug him. I needed to hear what he had to say. He regained his composer, "I love your mother and I love the both of you so much."
"Father," Seika spoke up, "What are you going to tell us?" She was impatient. Her eyes showed weakness but she tried her best to look unbreakable. I was growing nervous. This was something new I've never experienced. Father wasn't the one to tell us anything. It was always Mother. What could he have to say that would drive him to find us? Mother surely would have kept him in the apartment so she could come find us, all so she could drag us back into that hell.
He nodded, "I don't know what's happen to me. When I first met your mother everything was perfect." He began laughing, "It would have been perfect if I didn't get so beat up."
Long flowing black hair and her eyes to match it. She looked stunning in her school uniform as she walked out of the building. You could hear her laugh from a mile away as it sounded like angels. Today was going to be the day. No matter what happens I will have the courage to ask her out. I gulped, trying my best to keep myself from soaking my uniform from nervousness. What will she say? What if I get rejected?
No! I can't think like that! I have to ask her. I will make her mine! I took a step towards her. She was talking to her friend as she was waiting for her usual ride. In the bright sunlight, she looked like she was glowing. Oh, what I would do to have her in my arms. I felt courageous as I got closer to her presence. However, I was stopped short as the school bully walked in front of me. He was taller than me by a foot and had spiky brown hair.
"What are you doing, Shen?" He asked, not caring that he was in my way. He ruffled my brown locks as he did it rather hard.
"Ow! Stop it!" I growled, shoving he hand away. He didn't like that.
His tall frame towered over me, "What did you say?" He was not happy. Oh god, please not right here. Not in front of her. Today was suppose to be the day. I was going to make her mine. Now, I was going to be assaulted and bruised. I'm going to look like an idiot! She'll think I'm some weakling and never speak to me!
"I mean..." I didn't even get to speak as he kicked my knee, making me fall into the dirt. I couldn't get up as he kicked me again. My side burned from his attacks. I tried to shield myself but was to slow. What am I suppose to do? The image of me getting beat in front of her made tears well up in my eyes. Why...Why today of all days. I'm never going to get a chance with her now...
"Hey!" A voice shot out. It was hard to hear where it was coming from as my ears were starting to ring from the pain. Then it stopped. The kicking and the yelling from him. Glancing up, I saw her. Her friend was running off to get a teacher as my angel was yelling at the bully. "Who do you think you are? Picking on another student! Violence is never the answer!"
Her voice was like the music from a harp, it made my heart flutter despite the situation. I couldn't move as she continued to hound the bully. "You better be glad I stopped you and not the police!" The bully noticed a teacher coming from the building.
"I would love to listen to you keep talking but I have a date." He then ran away, ignoring her screams for him to come back.
She puffed her cheeks and eventually sighed, "Whatever." She looked at me with her big black eyes. I wanted to melt right there. I was speechless. She was looking at me and I felt my body become hot. I was embarrassed but yet, blessed from her just looking at me. "Are you going to get up?"
"Huh?"
She giggled, "I said, are you going to get up." She reached out to me.
I took her delicate hand. It was so soft. I blushed, "Thank you." I managed to say.
"You need to learn to stick up for yourself, okay?" She said. I could only nod as she laughed at my red face, "I don't think we've met before." She gave me one of her goddess-like smiles. She looked so beautiful. I couldn't describe what I was feeling as she laughed.
"My name is Asami."
Father looked like he was in a whole different world. He looked so happy and peaceful, I didn't want to tear him away from his memories. I wish I could have seen more like this. He eventually shook his head, frowning from having to be back in the current moment. "What I'm trying to say," He breathed. "I should have never let your mother get like that. I was too weak, I always have been."
"Father..." Seika sighed.
He raised a hand, "Let me continue." Seika and I were curious about what he had to say to us, "I spoke about it with her when you two ran off. I think it would be for the best and I can't stand on the side anymore. I need to speak up and be a true father." I was shocked. Did he really mean that? I reached for his hand, no longer caring about trying not to show any affection to him. I was just so happy to hear him say that. He smiled but then grew serious.
"We're getting a divorce."