A/N: Thank you for your inspiring reviews, and thanks to everyone who is reading, following, favouriting - I'm glad you're all enjoying the story :) A bit gloomy chapter ahead, but it was expected, I think...

Chapter 28: Dark and desolate

April 10th 1978 (Monday)

On Monday morning, Hermione was startled when she glanced at the Slytherin table while having her breakfast. Regulus sat there next to Snape like always, but she could see that something had happened to him. There was faint bruising on his nose and under his eyes. She quickly searched the charmed galleon from her schoolbag and sent him a message.

What happened? –HD

Regulus glanced at her, and the coin warmed in her hand.

Nothing to worry about –RB

Hermione scoffed and narrowed her eyes at him. Someone had punched him in the face, and she could make a fair guess who. Her eyes moved along their table and stopped at Sirius, who was nursing a cup of coffee, looking bleary eyed and sullen, as did the rest of the seventh year Gryffindors. Hermione sighed inwardly.

Meet me in RoR after lunch. –HD

Regulus glanced at her and gave her a curt nod.

After breakfast, the seventh year Gryffindors waited in the hallway for their Defence class to start.

"Sirius? Can I have a word?" Hermione asked, eyeing him tentatively. He looked slightly annoyed.

He sighed. "Yeah, okay," He said and they moved further along the hall, while their friends eyed them with curious expressions.

"Look, Hermione. I think I know what you are on about…" He muttered, looking at her tiredly.

"You punched him?" Hermione asked, her brow furrowing. "Do you think that was necessary? That he hasn't been through enough?" She asked quietly, lifting her brows to make a point.

Sirius clenched his jaw. "Leave it, Hermione." He said moodily and walked back to their friends.

Hermione gaped at him. What the hell was wrong with him?

She didn't have time to find out as Gideon had arrived and the students were slowly walking into the classroom. During their double lesson they focused on dark creatures, such as Lethifolds, Basilisks and Chimaeras, and Hermione could feel Gideon's eyes glancing at her every now and then.

After Gideon had announced their class to be over, he asked for Hermione to stay behind. When everyone had left, Gideon and Hermione moved into Gideon's office and sat down on opposite sides at his desk. Hermione studied his features carefully. His brows were furrowed and he had an exhausted look in his blue eyes. She reckoned he too was affected by the raid. She wondered if he had been close with the McKinnons, seeing as they had been in the Order.

Gideon cleared his throat and Hermione was shaken from reverie. "How are you?" He asked as he crossed his fingers on the desk, his eyes boring into hers.

Hermione shrugged. "I'm okay." She was not, but she felt like she would burst if she said anything else.

He frowned. "Do you want to talk about it? The raid?" He asked hesitantly.

Hermione sighed. "No, not really. There's nothing to talk about…" She said, her voice faltering a bit.

"What do you mean?" He asked, slightly curious expression on his face.

She narrowed her eyes. "The damage is done, isn't it?" Hermione asked bitterly, trying to swallow the lump in her throat. "I told you everything I knew. Regulus put his life at risk when he told me everything he knew. And somehow, the McKinnons died. M-Marlene died." She said, stumbling in her words. "And Regulus… he ended up suffering as well. He has to carry it with him – what he had to do, what he had to witness – for the rest of his life." Hermione said tightly, gritting her teeth in frustration.

Gideon frowned. "Look, Hermione – "

"No. You were supposed to stop it!" She exclaimed, her eyes burning with angry tears. "The Order was supposed to stop it!"

Gideon gave her a sad smile while she breathed heavily. "I was supposed to prevent it." She whispered, looking down. "I was supposed to change things…"

Gideon cleared his throat and stared at her with a solemn look. "I'm sorry Hermione. I'm sorry we didn't stop it before it was too late. I'm sorry we couldn't save them. But you can't control everything. You have to accept the fact that someone will die eventually. It might happen to someone close to you, and you can't prevent it. It might happen exactly like you knew it would, or it might happen in an entirely different way." He said gravely.

He was silent for a while before he spoke again. "I know this isn't any of my business, but…you're getting too close to him, Hermione." He said, and her eyes snapped to his, a slightly affronted look in her eyes.

"You know as well as I do what I've seen during our Occlumency training." Gideon continued quietly.

Hermione knew he'd seen her spending time with Regulus and that he had felt her feelings towards Regulus.

"It's dangerous. What you're doing. You know what he is, and with whom he's associated. And he might not be able to protect you." He said steadily, staring at her with a worried expression.

Hermione swallowed hard. "You're right. It is none of your concern." She said blankly.

Gideon sighed. "Okay then…I'll see you in next class." He said and gave her a small smile.

Hermione nodded and left the class.

After lunch, Hermione stepped into the duplicate of Grimmauld Place library, and found Regulus staring at the bookshelf with a pensive look in his eyes.

"Reg…?" She asked as she neared him.

He turned to look at her. "Hey." He merely said.

"Hey." She said as her eyes searched his face, trying to gauge his mood. She worried her lip and took his hand. "How are you feeling?" She asked carefully.

"Fine."

She sighed inwardly. "What happened to your face?" She asked with worry.

"Nothing."

"Reg, please. Don't shut me out, okay?" She said softly, lifting her hand to his cheek and tracing his cheekbone with her thumb. He blinked rapidly.

"It was Sirius…" He muttered, looking away from her when she huffed. "But don't worry about it. We've talked it through already…"

Hermione stared at him in bewilderment. "Oh?"

"Yeah."

"So…The two of you are…speaking to each other again?" She asked hesitantly.

"So it seems."

"Oh…Well, that's something, I guess." She said with a small smile.

He nodded, locking eyes with hers. His intense gaze made her shiver.

"Regulus – "

"Can we not talk about it, love?" He asked, taking a hold of her waist, pulling her closer to him, his eyes drawn to her lips.

"Are you sure?" Hermione asked with a frown, while she wrapped her hands around his neck.

Regulus nodded. "I just want to forget about it." He muttered, caressing her waist with his fingertips, bringing his lips close to her ear. "…Help me forget about it…" He murmured against her neck, his warm breath sending shivers down her skin.

Hermione let out a stuttering breath. She only wanted to make it easier for him, but she had thought that they would talk about the raid now. "Okay," She said eventually.

He leaned back a bit and kissed her lips fleetingly. Then he crushed his lips against hers, his touch and taste burning her insides. She gasped in his mouth, and he thrust his tongue in, tasting her, caressing her tongue.

She knew he was unburdening his anguish, seeking distraction, something he could use to bury his feelings somewhere deep. And she let him do it. She wanted to be there for him. She wanted this. So, she let him carry her to his bed and ravage her in ways like never before, leaving them both in a state of delirium.

April 12th 1978 (Wednesday)

It was the third day of school, and everything seemed to be almost like before. But it wasn't. Everyone around Hermione was feeling down, immersed in their own thoughts, barely doing their schoolwork. During the evenings, the seventh year Gryffindors either sat in their common room gloomily, or retreated early to their respective dorms. It seemed like the cold and desolate weather outside was reflecting everyone's mood. Hermione could see her dorm mates missing their friend dearly, and every time she heard one of them sobbing silently behind the closed curtains of their four-poster beds, she felt another pang of guilt in her stomach, another twist in her chest.

When they had walked into their dorm last Sunday for the first time after Easter break, the girls were greeted with an empty spot in the room where once had been the bed that had belonged to Marlene. Lily and Alice had immediately burst in tears, while Mary had left the dormitory in a huff, returning late, when everyone else was already sleeping.

On Wednesday morning Hermione, Lily and Alice had double Arithmancy class, while the boys and Mary were in the Care of Magical Creatures. As the girls waited silently for their class to start, Hermione let her eyes wander along the hallway. She saw Snape leaning on the wall and eyeing their group every now and then. She examined his features. He was pale, as he always was, but there was something new in his eyes. She could see a hint of remorse in them. Had he been there? Had he seen Marlene? Had he hurt someone?

Hermione frowned, and felt her eyes prickling. She looked away and gritted her teeth, willing the tears away. Luckily their Professor appeared and their class was about to start. Hermione walked quickly inside the classroom and took her seat. She knew she would have to have a conversation with Snape soon.

Later that day, Hermione found herself sitting next to Snape in their Potions classroom. They both had been silent for most of the double class, their focus on their brew. Hermione was waiting for the right time to speak to him, but every time she glanced at him and their eyes met, he merely gave her an icy stare in reply. Eventually she sighed and turned towards him. "Snape?" She asked quietly.

"Dumbledore." He gritted through his teeth.

"Um…Could I have a word? After the class?" She asked hesitantly.

He narrowed his eyes. "If it's about the potion, then by all means, say it now. I have no interest whatsoever engaging into a discussion with you about anything else." He said coldly.

Hermione's eyes lifted in a mild surprise. He was angry. She only nodded at him and turned back to their cauldron. At the end of their lesson, Snape stormed away and left her to clean the table and deliver their sample to Slughorn.

Regulus wasn't much better than Snape. Hermione had met him in the Room of Requirement twice already, and during both times he hadn't said almost anything to her. He had only sought comfort from her and kept her close to him before they parted their ways and returned back to their separate quarters.

Hermione and Remus decided to head towards the library after their Potions class while James and Sirius left to their Quidditch practice and the rest of their group opted to study in their common room.

"How are you getting by?" Remus asked softly as they sat down at their usual table and pulled their books, quills and parchments from their schoolbags.

Hermione sighed. "I'm okay, I guess…I mean, I miss Marley, of course. But I think it's harder for the girls. You know, they lived with her for almost seven years…They knew each other so well…" Hermione said, her voice trembling slightly. She tried to ignore the voice in her head that reminded her of how she hadn't been able to save her.

"And you?" Hermione asked carefully, glancing at him.

Remus frowned. "I don't know…It's like one of us is missing. You know…Even though I'm closer with the guys, and rarely spent time with her, she was still around. I was used to seeing her, even more so when she dated Sirius." He said pensively and was silent for a moment. "Perhaps it gets easier with time, right?"

Hermione hummed in response. They continued to do their homework in silence for a while.

"Is…everything okay with you and Sirius?" Remus asked after some time, eyeing her closely.

She shrugged. "I suppose. He's angry about what happened to Marley and her family. I think he suspects that his family had something to do with it…" she said unsurely.

Remus nodded. "Yeah, that makes sense." He said slowly and gave her a searching look.

"So, how did the meeting go?" Hermione asked, changing the subject as she didn't want to talk about the raid. "You know, with Belby?"

Suddenly the grim look Remus had on his face disappeared and was replaced with a hesitant grin. "It was great! I mean, I'm going to participate in his study, and I'll be going to Germany as soon as we have graduated."

Hermione's smile faltered. "You'll be gone? For how long?"

He shrugged. "Couple of months, half a year. Something like that."

"Does Mary know about this?" She asked carefully, not really wanting to ruin his happiness.

Remus sighed and rubbed his face. "No…And I'm not going to tell her."

Hermione's brows shot up. "What? Why? But she'll be wondering where you are…" She said incredulously.

He gave her a guilty frown but said nothing.

Then she understood. "You're going to break up with her…" She said quietly.

Remus averted his eyes from hers, as if he couldn't look how they were boring into him with such disappointment.

"It's for the best." He muttered, staring at his transfiguration book which lay open at the table.

Hermione scoffed. "For her? Or for you?"

"Hermione, can we not talk about this?" He asked tightly, looking at her with annoyance.

She sighed, but eventually nodded and didn't push further. She could only hope that he would change his mind.

"It's like you wish an early death." Regulus said as he neared his brother who was leaning against the back of greenhouse number three, inhaling smoke into his lungs.

Sirius turned to look at him and lifted his brows. "A bit early for the death jokes, huh?"

Regulus grimaced and averted his eyes.

"Oh, come off it." Sirius said and took the pack of cigarettes from his pockets. "Here. Take one."

Regulus arched a brow. "That's vile."

"I know. But the girls love it," Sirius said with a wink.

Regulus rolled his eyes. "I highly doubt that…" He muttered but took one eventually.

"That's more like it, little brother." Sirius chuckled. "I have to say I'm thrilled that you finally have the sense to follow my lead," He said with a small smile curving his lips.

"Sod off." Regulus grumbled, and coughed when he inhaled the smoke.

Sirius barked a laugh.

"So…How are you doing?" Sirius asked after a moment of silence, filled by only the sound of inhaling and exhaling the smoke.

Regulus merely shrugged.

Sirius frowned and eyed his brother carefully as he took a long drag from his cigarette, before tossing it away. "Listen, Reggie…I know we aren't exactly best mates or anything and probably will never return to the way we once were," He said heavily.

"But…You know…I'm here for you, brother. If you don't push me away," Sirius continued softly, staring at his brother intently.

Regulus glanced at him, a spray of emotions coursing through him. Regulus saw how serious his brother looked, how worried he was. He couldn't find the right words so he only nodded to him in reply.

April 15th 1978 (Saturday)

On Saturday night, Hermione met Dumbledore, McGonagall, Gideon and Fabian in the Headmaster's office.

"First I would like to talk about the McKinnon raid, and then perhaps we could go through our current situation with the Horcruxes." Dumbledore said to everyone, his expression solemn.

Of course, the Order had gathered immediately after the raid, right after Dumbledore had questioned Regulus and Hermione in the Hog's Head. Hermione didn't know what the Headmaster had asked from Regulus, and truth to be told, she wasn't sure she even wanted to know. What Regulus had told her was surely just scraping the subject and it had been enough to make her horrified. She couldn't even imagine the terrors he'd seen.

"Hermione?" Dumbledore said, eyeing her. Hermione blinked, startled out of her reverie.

"Yes?"

"Do you want to share your thoughts? Your feelings?" He asked kindly.

Hermione suspected that Gideon had had a talk with the Headmaster about her harsh words regarding the Order and the raid. She sighed. "It should've been prevented." She said with a frown. "It wasn't supposed to happen."

Dumbledore nodded. "Yes, it should have been prevented."

Hermione gritted her teeth. "Why wasn't it?" She asked, the anger growing inside her. "Why? I gave you every bit of information I had. You – the Order was supposed to prevent it!" Hermione said roughly.

Dumbledore gave her a sad smile.

"Hermione…We did everything we could…" Gideon said quietly.

Hermione scowled at him. "That's wasn't enough though," She snapped.

Gideon looked back wearily and ran a hand through his hair. "Every single member of the Order knew when the raid was taking place. Everyone took precautions to add security. And it wasn't enough." He said grimly.

"You can't blame the Order, Hermione. Or yourself. The Order, or you for that matter are not responsible of the McKinnons' deaths. Voldemort is. His followers are. Those who willingly follow him, those who revel in hurting others." Dumbledore said gravely, staring at Hermione intently.

Hermione clenched her jaw. She wished it wouldn't be like this. The guilt was slowly eating her insides. She felt they should've been able to do something, to prevent the raid. To stop the Death Eaters. Anything. She felt responsible. She knew this wasn't how it had happened before, because the McKinnons had been attacked some years from now, but still, it felt like she should've prevented it.

"I happen to agree with the Headmaster, Hermione." McGonagall said sternly. "The only one who should be blamed is Voldemort." She said with a determined expression.

The Prewetts nodded in agreement.

Dumbledore gave McGonagall a small smile before he turned to look at Hermione again. "I think the only thing we can do is to honour those who have left this world and to keep ourselves focused in our goals. And also try to be more prepared in the future. Do you agree?" He asked, looking at her kindly.

Hermione swallowed. "Yes." She said softly.

They were all silent for a while.

"I suggest we now move on to our next subject. Does anyone have any new information about the possible locations of the Diadem?" Dumbledore asked and eyed the others expectantly.

"I haven't found anything while searching through the books in the library." Hermione said with a small shrug.

"Same here." Gideon said. Fabian and McGonagall shook their heads.

"Then we shall continue the research, and hopefully stumble on something." Dumbledore said simply, and continued. "And what about your research with the potion?" Dumbledore asked, looking at Hermione.

She sighed. "Well, I've found a couple of possibilities while researching and reading books, but I don't know whether I have found the one that is used in the cave," She said unsurely.

"Actually, I have some news on that front." McGonagall said and drew herself up in her seat. "I inquired about these kinds of potions from a good friend, discreetly, may I add." She said and glanced at the others. Fabian tried to supress a grin, while Dumbledore eyed her with a pleased look. "My friend is a potioneer, and he wrote me a list of several potential poisons and their antidotes. Here's the list," McGonagall continued and handed the parchment to Dumbledore.

He inspected it for a moment, looking thoughtful. "I can see these are all very challenging to prepare. In order to produce one potion that would work as an antidote for all the mind-altering and torture potions listed in here, you first would have to prepare every single potion from the list, successfully for that matter. Are you up for it, Hermione?" Dumbledore asked and handed the parchment to Hermione.

She read the list quickly, her eyes widening a bit. Challenging was an understatement. They were nearly impossible to brew without the risk of making a mistake. How in the name of Merlin was she supposed to brew these?

"I'm up for it." She said finally and pocketed the list. She just had to practice like hell.

The others gave her pleased looks while Dumbledore clapped his hands together. "Brilliant. Now there's one more thing for us to consider," he said, and everyone turned to look at him with expectant looks.

"As I haven't yet received any information about other means to use against the Horcruxes, our only option to destroy them, is with the Fiendfyre curse." He said and gave the others a mildly apologising look.

Hermione assumed that the others as well had hoped for another solution, based on the disappointed looks on their faces. She was with them on this one.

"Are you ready for another session?" Dumbledore asked carefully. Everyone nodded grimly.

As Hermione left the Headmaster's office and walked towards the Room of Requirement, her thoughts were focused on the fact that she would have to face the Fiendfyre again. She knew she was ready. And she was determined not to let Regulus suffer because of her mistakes this time. That was something she could control. If there was nothing else, she could at least do that, she thought, a lump forming in her throat again as memories flashed in her mind.

The last time she had been in the cave and was nearly succumbed by the cursed flames, every burn and cut she had received were all passed on to Regulus. Because of the bracelet. She had found out about it afterwards, when she had seen the fading marks on his chest and arms. Needless to say, it had been horrifying. She had tried to apologise, but Regulus had only brushed her off, insisting it was nothing.

Later that night Hermione fell asleep in Regulus's arms with distressing thoughts circling her mind. What if she couldn't save him? What if he would only suffer because of her?

April 16th 1978 (Sunday)

As Hermione woke up in the Room of Requirement the next morning, she decided to head to the library to grab the essential books she would need for the potions McGonagall had on her list. If she had the time, she would start testing one of the potions in the potions lab. Some of the potions included instructions, and as for the rest of the potions, she knew she could find the instructions in the books in the library's Restricted Section, now that she knew which potions she was going to brew.

"I know you're awake." Regulus murmured to her neck. "I can hear your brain working."

Hermione chuckled. "Is that so?"

"Mm-hmm." He hummed. He pushed her hair away from her neck and pressed his lips against her nape, kissing the spot lightly, leaving it just a little bit wet. Then he breathed warm air from his nose to the spot, making her tremble in his arms. A tingle of anticipation ran through her. He continued his ministrations with her neck while his hands skimmed over her body. Soon she was writhing against him, aching for him and feeling exactly how awake he was as he pressed himself against her.

After lunch, Hermione was heading towards the potions lab. She had visited the Restricted Section in the library after she had left the Room of Requirement, and had found a few promising books about some of the potions on McGonagall's list.

Feeling slightly ashamed of herself, she realised the last time she had been in the potions lab was months ago. She had been focusing on school, practicing Fiendfyre, practicing Occlumency, and, well…on everything else. As she reached the lab which was close to their Potions classroom in the dungeons, Hermione pushed the door open, not really expecting for anyone to be there. But there was. Snape.

She blanched, halting in place. "What are you doing in here?" She asked, her voice wavering a bit from the surprise.

He glanced at her from his cauldron. "Might ask you the same thing." He said snidely, his focus returning back to his potion.

She blinked. "Are you doing schoolwork?" She asked, even though she knew he wasn't. He was her potions partner and they always handed their assignments to Slughorn in time.

He merely gave her an arched brow.

Hermione's brows lifted. So, Snape was there brewing his own potions…

"What are you working on?" She asked, intrigued by what he was brewing, and walked towards his table.

He didn't glance away from his cauldron, where he kept stirring the potion. "None of your concern."

Hermione huffed and turned away from him, shaking her head. She decided to begin her attempt on the first potion on the list. As the room was quite small, and there were only three separate desks, she put her belongings to the furthest one from him and began to work.

After an hour or so, she was making progress with her potion. At least she thought she was.

"Planning to kill someone?" Snape asked indifferently from his place.

Hermione startled. She had forgotten he was there. And apparently, he had immediately figured out what she was doing.

"Why?" She asked innocently, not turning to look at him.

She could feel him approach her. He stopped when he was near the edge of her table.

"Even if you look like it, you don't need to act like a simple-minded bint." He said with a faint sneer.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Well, thank you for the compliment, Severus." She said with a sweet smile before turning back to her cauldron. She was going to screw it up, she just knew it…Hermione thought as she wiped her brow. She also couldn't help to feel a bit worried that Snape knew what she was brewing. Would he keep his mouth shut?

"How fast did you add the Manchineel Tree Bark Powder?" He asked bluntly. Hermione whirled to look at him and narrowed her eyes. Of course he would know how to do it properly. Even though the potion was too complicated for students to brew…

"Just a moment ago…Why?" She asked hesitantly, swallowing her pride. He smirked at her.

"What you should've done, was to add it in the beginning. That way it would've had the time to brew the needed time before you added the Bulbadox Juice." He explained, and she could see a hint of enthusiasm cross his eyes.

That made sense. But why wasn't it in the instructions? She thought bitterly and tried not to reminisce her sixth year where Harry had used the Half-Blood Prince's book in Potions and bested her in every single brew. Snape's book.

"Oh." She said quietly. "Thank you."

He shrugged. "You're welcome. But for your information, I will be testing my drinks on your boyfriend from now on." He said grimly.

Hermione was taken aback. Boyfriend? And then the other thing hit her. He'd made a joke. Snape had actually joked. With her.

She let out a stifled laugh, surprising him. His mouth curved a bit before he schooled his expression back to a blank look.

Hermione examined his features for a moment. He merely stared back, and she briefly wondered why he was still standing there. "How…How are you?" She asked carefully, searching his eyes.

He lifted his brows in surprise, not certainly expecting that to come out from her mouth. His mouth curved into a sneer. "What do you think?" He asked pointedly. He didn't ask what she had meant. He knew exactly what she was talking about.

Hermione stared at him expectantly. Snape huffed. "You have no idea," He hissed at her, returning to his table.

Hermione sighed, turning to look at him. "I'm sorry. I don't understand. I don't know what you're going through." She said quietly, and saw him flinch. "The door is open for you, you know?" She added quietly.

He glared at her. "I know. That doesn't mean I'll walk through it."

There was a short silence.

"Not even for Lily?" She asked perceptively.

His expression softened a bit and he looked away.

Hermione turned back to her cauldron when he became passive. But then she heard it. He spoke it so softly, that she almost missed it.

"I'll think about it."

April 18th 1978 (Tuesday)

Since the school had started, Hermione had spent several evenings and nights in the Room of Requirement with Regulus. It seemed that all the seventh year Gryffindor girls were avoiding their dormitory, and even when Hermione had wanted to be there for her friends, it seemed that they weren't ready to talk about the events of the Easter holidays. It had been easier to be away from the empty dorm, and not face the empty spot in the room where Marlene used to sleep. The sight of it was just too painful, too disturbing.

On Tuesday night, Hermione stepped into the seventh-year girls' dormitory and found the room almost empty, yet again, despite it nearing almost curfew. There was only Lily, who lay on her bed, unmoving.

"Lils?" Hermione whispered, not wanting to wake her up if she was already asleep.

Lily turned to look at her. Hermione could see that the redhead's eyes were puffy and her nose was red. Lily had been crying.

"Hermione?" Lily said with a thick voice.

Hermione felt her stomach twist with grief and guilt as she approached Lily, her brows furrowed with worry. She sat down at the foot of Lily's bed, eyeing her with a sad smile.

"How are you?" Hermione asked, wincing inwardly. Of course Lily was not okay, but she had to start from somewhere.

Lily grimaced. "I feel like crap." She huffed and sniffed, tears gathering into her eyes.

Hermione sighed, feeling miserable. She hated seeing her like that. "I'm sorry, Lils. I'm sorry I haven't been there for you." She said quietly, choking down a sob.

"Oh, Hermione. Don't be…You have just as much the right to be sad than the rest of us…Regardless how long you knew each other, Marley was still your friend too…" Lily whispered, taking Hermione's hand and giving it a light squeeze. "And I haven't exactly been ready to talk about it until now…" Lily said gloomily.

Hermione leaned in closer and enveloped her friend into a hug, soothing her hand against Lily's back as she felt her trembling. They stayed like that for a while, and Hermione could hear her friend crying again.

"I miss her," Lily said with a shaky voice.

Hermione took a deep breath. "Me too." She said, tears of grief and anger burning in her eyes.

Lily broke their embrace and frowned at the bed, looking contemplative. "Why? Why did no one stop them? The D-Death Eaters?" She asked and swallowed. "Marlene's family…They were with the…Order, right?" She continued, whispering the word, staring at Hermione in confusion.

Hermione tried to swallow away the sudden tightness in her throat. What could she say? Hermione wanted to tell Lily everything she knew. But she knew that she couldn't. "I don't know, Lils…" She merely said and sighed.

They were silent for a while.

"You know, I'm not angry at them. The Order. Not really..." Lily said quietly, chewing the inside of her cheek. "I'm angry at those who did it." She said coldly.

Hermione tried not to flinch. She knew that not everyone who took part on the raid had done it willingly. Regulus and Snape. But she couldn't say it to Lily. It wasn't going to make her feel better, and Hermione was quite certain the redhead wouldn't understand.

It seemed that Lily wanted to say something else but was struggling with the words. Hermione waited in silence.

"I'm scared, Mione…" Lily finally said, looking at her with an anxious look. "What if…what if I don't make it? What if James doesn't? What if I lose another friend?" She said with a sob, and her eyes filled with tears.

Hermione's breath caught in her throat. What she wanted to say to her friend, was that she would be okay, that everyone would be okay. She wanted to tell her that she was going to make sure of that. But the words died in her throat. She just wasn't sure anymore.

April 21st 1978 (Friday)

Hermione was spending her Friday evening in the vast cave, where their group was practicing the Fiendfyre curse after over a month's break. As she watched Gideon and McGonagall cast and control the cursed flames, Hermione was determined not to screw it up this time. She was ready now. She had to be.

"Molly's been asking after you…" Fabian said as he watched his brother, who was now holding his wand up and controlling a fiery phoenix that was flying high in the cave ceiling. Hermione and Fabian were sitting in one corner, behind the others, leaning their backs against the stone wall.

Hermione sighed. She had been writing to Molly, and the ginger-haired witch had tried to subtly inquire about Hermione's general mood after the raid. But she hadn't really wanted to talk about it, and even less to write about it. She felt bad for not visiting Molly, even more so since she knew the woman had given birth to Fred and George less than three weeks ago. Of course, Hermione had owled her and congratulated the moment she had received the news and Molly had sent her a photo of the two future mischief-makers. Hermione had planned to go and visit her in the Burrow, but her plans had changed dramatically as a consequence of the raid.

"I know…I just…" She frowned, not really knowing how to say it. Or what to say, to be exact.

"Look, she understands. She lost someone too." He said quietly.

Hermione turned to look at him in shock. "Oh?"

"Yeah, Melissa. Marlene's sister. They were friends." Fabian said, looking uncomfortable. "It's good that the new set of twins is taking all her time, you know?" He said with a sad smile.

Hermione felt nauseated. Another friend was suffering because of the raid.

"Just talk to her when you're ready, yeah?" Fabian said and gave her a reassuring nudge. "She'll understand."

Hermione nodded, swallowing the lump from her throat.

A while later, Fabian cleared his throat and stood up. "Okay, little Dumbledore, you're up." Fabian said with a wink and held a hand for her. Hermione took a calming breath and clutched his hand as she stood up. She tried to be calm and collected, reassuring herself that she was going to succeed. She knew the incantation. She knew how to control the flames. She knew how to extinguish them. It was all in her head, and she just had to use the knowledge, control herself.

While McGonagall and Gideon stepped aside to rest after their successful practice, Hermione took her place in the middle of the cave. She nodded to the Headmaster who stood slightly behind her with Fabian, and lifted her wand. She thought the incantation in her mind and cast the curse, instantly feeling the Dark Magic course through her, tingling in her fingertips, bursting from the tip of her wand in the form of cursed flames.

The flames took a form of an animal – a fierce, but beautiful dragon. Hermione knew that she wasn't going to last long, as she felt the curse use all of her powers. Sweat was beading on her upper lip, and her hand trembled as she tried to focus on controlling the flames. She knew she had to put the flames out and cast the counter-spell for the curse. But the curse was more powerful than she was. It all happened in seconds. She saw Dumbledore and Fabian both lift their wands, with the intention to cast the counter-curse, to put out the flames, but then the fiery beast attacked, and spit fire towards her.

Hermione had only a second to move, and as she lunged to the side to avoid the fiery ball from scorching her, the flames managed to brush her left hand. She let out a scream as she waved her wand, which luckily was in her right hand, and managed to perform the counter-curse to extinguish the flames.

The flames vanished, and the others rushed towards her. Hermione was kneeling on the stone floor, cradling her hand, shaking uncontrollably. She was relieved. She had succeeded, finally. Only it hurt like hell. Her hand was throbbing with a searing pain, like thousand knives were stabbing it.

"Mmph..." She moaned through her gritted teeth as Dumbledore and Gideon started to check the extent of her injuries.

"It's okay, Hermione," Gideon said soothingly as Dumbledore waved his wand over her hand, and then started to apply the burning paste on the burns.

"I know," She panted. She knew the wounds were insignificant compared to what she'd endured the last time, but this time, the pain was much, much worse without the bracelet. She shuddered as she briefly thought exactly what Regulus had endured on her behalf.

Soon the pain eased, and she was left with only a mild throbbing in her palm. Dumbledore cast several diagnostic charms over her arm before he seemed to be pleased with the results. Hermione was adamant to continue their practice, but Dumbledore insisted she was to rest and watch from the sides for the rest of the evening. Even though she didn't get to continue practicing, Hermione couldn't help but feel satisfied that she had finally managed. Sure, she had been hurt, and it hadn't been perfect, but she still had managed to put out the flames. She had managed to control the flames. Finally.

After their practice, Hermione slipped into the Room of Requirement and was surprised to see Regulus still awake.

"Hey," Hermione said softly and walked towards him. He looked so relaxed, lying on the couch, a book between his hands. He turned to look at her and sat up. He smiled at her and put the book on the table, but his movements stilled suddenly, his expression went from relaxed to anxious, and the small smile on his lips disappeared.

"Hermione…Love…What happened to you?" He asked in mild panic and sprang up from the couch. He took her hand in his and inspected the faint red marks on the otherwise light skin. "What is this?" He asked with a demanding voice, his eyes searching hers uneasily. "Were you hurt?"

Hermione opened her mouth, but nothing came out.

"Where's the bracelet?" He asked harshly, grabbing her both wrists and pulling them up, holding them in a firm grip.

Hermione hissed in surprise as his fingers dug slightly into her skin.

He gritted his teeth together. "Where is the bracelet, I gave you?" He demanded warningly, with fear and anger in his eyes.

Hermione winced as his grip on her wrist tightened.

"You're hurting me, Regulus," She said with a small whimper.

He let go as if her hand had burned him, staring at her with a startled look.

Hermione took the bracelet quickly from her pocket. "It's here, look." She said, putting it on again and taking a few steps away from him, sitting on the couch where he'd been a mere moment ago.

"Why would you take it off?" He asked with a rough voice, clenching his jaw.

Hermione worried her lip and then sighed. "You know why…" She muttered, looking him apologetically. He knew where she had been that night, but she hadn't told him about taking off the bracelet. She just couldn't let him get hurt because of her.

He cursed under his breath. "Never take it off, Hermione!" He yelled, and Hermione blanched when he looked at her like that. With his eyes full of anger and resentment.

"I had to!" She cried. "I saw what it did to you the last time, Reg…I saw what I did." She said miserably and looked down. Last time, he had taken the most of her wounds and pain. But when would it be too much for him to take? What if he would die because of her? She would never forgive herself for that.

He took a couple of deep breaths and then knelt down in front of her, taking her hands in his, gently this time. "Please, Hermione. Love. Never take it off. I can't bear the thought of something or someone hurting you…Say that you'll never take it off. Promise me." He said with a trembling voice, his eyes pleading her, shining with unshed tears. Hermione felt her throat constricting.

"Your life over mine." He whispered, his eyes searching over hers.

Hermione choked back a sob. It was so intense. The way he spoke to her. The way he looked at her. Like she was everything to him. Like the bracelet was the only thing he could do in order to protect her. And perhaps it was…

Gideon's words rang in her head. That what she did with Regulus was dangerous...And that he might not be able to protect her. Perhaps Gideon was right. And Regulus knew it too.

She stared into his stormy grey eyes, that were filled with fear, terror, anger and longing. Eyes that were pleading her, begging her. How could she not give him everything he asked? Tears burned in her eyes and she swallowed deeply before she managed to find her voice.

"I'll never take it off. I promise." She whispered and watched relief take place in his eyes.