A/N: this is my chapter dedicated to the first seven episodes of S3 Glee, as seen though the eyes of a half-smitten Puck. It's everything that happened before Sam Evans returned to McKinley, and some of my favorite episodes are referenced in this chapter. It took a while to finish, partly because I had to re-watch all of the episodes again (Netflix rocks!) and partly because I've been focusing mostly on my Prom Night chapters. But I love the way this one came out and really appreciate all the support I've gotten for this story. Believe me, I have every intention of finishing this. Actually, I have Chapter 15 already written. So trust me, I won't leave you guys hanging.

I owe Illiandyandra and AnniKay a couple of "thank yous" once again. They gave some really great notes on this installment that made a world of difference. Thank you ladies!

I'd like to thank Goalihta-Leigh, Annikay, LadiJ, box5angel, LudaNeet, JessieMae888, Denita585, and Guest for your sweet reviews. I was so proud of Chapter 11, and totally grateful that you guys took the time to comment on it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or the characters of Glee.

Another New Beginning...

By the time I started my Senior year I'd made up my mind about a few things; trying to start as I meant to finish or some bullshit...I had come up with a plan to make the most of what was left of high school, and I was looking forward to not fucking it up. First of all, I decided to stop wearing my damn letterman jacket so much. If somebody had asked me that previous summer what I thought about my friends on the team versus my homies in Glee club, I'd have had to admit that my jock crew was mostly made up of a bunch of dill-weeds I couldn't stand. The fact was that I couldn't count on 'em nearly the same way I could the New Directions. So I made up my mind to show my allegiance to show choir by leaving that motherfucker at home. That way anybody I met wouldn't automatically assume I was one of the jerk-wads in red and white.

I also gave myself permission to stay away from chicks, until I could find another one that I actually liked. Banging randoms had been pretty cool in the past -and shit, it got you off- but in the end, living like that could leave a dude feeling pretty damn empty. I wanted my next girl to be somebody I shared shit with, who left me in my bed feeling like we'd experienced something more than orgasms together. So I was on a self-imposed chastity kick. I'd also decided to stop being such an instigator and start observing the shit around me better. It had become clear to me, through all my dealings with Mama and Zizes, that I was real prone to missing out on shit. So I made up my mind to keep myself in watch mode.

Right off the bat on the first day of school I noticed some things that I more than likely wouldn't have before. I saw that Quinn wasn't the only chick at McKinley who'd changed her look…'cause Tina was obviously over her Goth kick, and had moved onto dressing like the chicks on that old show Dragnet. I noticed how scared Satan was for motherfuckers to find out she was all about the pussy now…Specifically Brittany's pussy. And I noticed a huge difference in the way Mama was acting.

I know most of my friends think they should have paid more attention to Mercedes when she came out of her neck on JBI's interview saying Evans was "So June." According to Cohen-Chang and Hummel, that wasn't the type of shit a chick as sweet as Jones would ever say on camera, for any reason. Even if she'd been mad at Sam when she said it. Most of Glee club pretty much felt like we shoulda saw some of what happened later on in the year coming because of that shit; and they all felt bad for missing an important sign. But that never really bothered me, because I knew more about Samcedes than even her two best friends did. I knew that Mama and Evans had broken up less than three weeks after he left Lima. And that she had latched onto Tinsley so fast Sam probably got whiplash all the way in Kentucky. Plus, his big ass was standing right there when she said that shit about her "summer fling." Which told me that Mercedes probably tried to laugh off her relationship with Evans as a way of making sure her new boyfriend didn't get all insecure or whatever.

So that never bothered me, but there were a lot of things about Jones right then that did. She was quieter than she'd ever been before at the first Glee meeting of the year. And I saw Jones' face go all sad and shit in the library during study hall, too. Mama was watching the JBI broadcast where Hummel and Berry gushed over going to school in New York together after graduation, and could see it was hurting her feelings...

In fact, a lot of Mama's problems were probably related to Berry. Those two were competing over shit from the first day of the school year, and it got kinda ugly a few times. Mama rolled her eyes hard that time when Rachel came bouncing into the cafeteria demanding that everybody get up and sing; even called her out for being bossy as hell. Jones bit her lip every time she saw Gayberry do that "gay high five" shit that Kurtcedes used to be forever on, too. It was obvious to me that Mama felt like she was coming up short; that she suspected Berry was gonna have the best senior year ever while Mama stayed in the damn background. I could see Jones fighting for a spotlight from Jump Street, and feeling like the only one in her corner was Tinsley. That's why; even now...I don't actually mind that huge motherfucker.

I tried to be there for Mama as much as I could. In my own way, I mean…I was already sitting next to her when Finn and his girl talked us into singing the Go-Gos song. We'd been tripping out and joking about the purple piano in the corner of the lunchroom before the food fight even started. So she knew I understood where she was coming from, not wanting to get up and perform. And she and I laughed our asses off from across the table when Anderson put on his little freak-out in the quad, too. It wasn't that he was putting on a bad show, exactly. ..the Cheerios were dancing all hot, and I dug the pyrotechnics at the end. But Blaine's song choices suck ass. Plus, why in the hell does this dude dress like Carlton Banks every fucking day? That shit is annoying as hell, and I could tell Jones agreed with me. I even caught her eye a few times while Sugar auditioned, because I knew I could probably make her laugh. It worked for a few minutes, but of course, all my effort went to waste when Berry stood up. After Jew Nose demanded that we put on a play that she chose, and assumed the star role was hers, Mama's expression changed from silly to pissed off just that quick.

I was actually pretty proud of myself for helping Mama feel supported on the second day of school, though, up until Shuester dropped the bomb on us about mandatory Booty Camp. I wasn't feeling it, mainly because all that ballet shit is queer as hell and I don't feel like myself trying to do it. But Mama was the only one to actually speak out on the shit. It was pretty hardcore of Shue to bring out Beyonce when Mama started to argue; I sort of thought he was hitting below the belt. But in the end Shuester got his way. Jones stayed quiet while Shuester and Berry explained to everybody how the new regimen would keep us from fucking up Nationals this year, and we got our new practice schedule.

After class, I caught up with Mama in the courtyard, throwing her lunch into a trash can; one grape at a time. I came over and grabbed one before asking, "What's up Mama? Not hungry?"

She pushed her lunch tray across the table and shot me an apologetic look. "No…too much on my mind."

"Like what?" I asked around a mouthful of her sandwich.

"Its just…aren't you a little offended by being on the list of people who have to do mandatory Booty Camp?" She shook her head like she was loosening cobwebs before going on. "Like, do you think your dancing is bad enough for all that?"

I thought about it for a second. "Hell, no! I mean, I don't dance all that choreographed shit for fun like Mike does; cause its lame as hell and 'Zillas don't twirl. But I can get down just fine when I'm feeling it…"

"That's my point!" Jones blurted out. "It isn't fair…I can dance! I've never had any trouble following the choreography before."

"Yeah…you're right." I told her. "You're always one of the first in the group to learn new moves and never need any help getting steps down. That's what's got you so upset?"

"That's what's got me so upset." Mama nodded. "I mean, you saw what just happened. Shue and Rachel kept bringing up Nationals last year like it's evidence for why we need to step it up and do Booty Camp. Like they think some of us don't try hard enough and that we lost because of it. But our dancing wasn't why we lost!"

"That's right…" I offered. "…Our songs were crappy and unrehearsed, the faculty advisor was MIA while we wrote 'em, and Finchel started making out mid-performance."

"Exactly!" Mama seemed kind of heated. "So why put you, me, Kurt and Finn in the spotlight? Why tell the whole class that we're the reason ND lost in New York? Why fuck with our heads like this?"

"Cause maybe Shue doesn't wanna feel like us losing was his fault?" I guessed.

"Maybe," she conceded. "But see, its bigger than that, too… Because Rachel never dances with us. She's always in the front, singing lead on at least two of our group numbers; so the rest of us have to learn and do more dance routines than she does. How's Shuester so sure that she's any better? That she doesn't need any extra help?"

I shrugged my shoulders.

"He doesn't know..." Mama answered her own question. "… and it doesn't matter to him, because he knows she'll be doing all the solos and duets again this year, too. And he's trying to make it seem like the rest of us -or namely, me- aren't good enough for the lead by making it mandatory for us to get 'extra help.' This proves once and for all that our teacher has zero intention of showcasing me this year. He's gonna give everything to Rachel, just like before."

Jones was pretty convinced that Shue was out to get her and I tried to diffuse. "Mama, I think you're going off here for no damn reason. You ain't been eating much; maybe your brain's been deprived or something." She slapped me on the arm. "Okay, okay…I take it back. But your ass is still way off base. Shue wants to win this year! And he knows you've got more talent than anyone else in Glee…So you should look at this like he's trying to set you up to be the star. Because if you're the best at singing and dancing, you'll obviously get the lead."

"But how in the hell am I supposed to be at my best vocally, when I'm killing myself doing extra dance rehearsals?"

"You won't, Mama…besides, it might be fun. You and me can hang and…"

"I'm sorry Puckerman," She stood up and put on her book bag. "I know you're just trying to help, but something's up." Then she walked off.

I'm ashamed to say that I actually put the shit outta my mind right after that. Not because I didn't care what was going on with Jones, but because Shelby Corcoran was back in town and had asked me to bring Quinn by her new classroom to see her and talk about Beth. The conversation didn't go to well, to be honest. Que totally went all "bitch betta come off my baby," on Shelby. But later on I went by Shelby's house and I got to see Beth. I held my baby for the first time in almost two years, gave her a picture I drew just for her, and had a serious rush of love and fucking contentment. And I was gonna be damned before I let Quinn's ass fuck it up for me. It's the only reason I kept quiet when she was acting like a psycho in Booty Camp. I was there tripping out with Mercedes watching Finn fuck up dance moves when Que showed up all ready to snow everybody. She had some master plan going on where she intended to fool everybody into thinking she was changing her ways, but it was all for play-play. There wasn't much I could do about making my Babymama act like she was about shit, but I did make up my mind to watch her ass and keep my mouth shut.

Tensions Rising…

That next week was West Side Story auditions, and it was fucking bat-shit crazy, to say the least. It all started with Mercedes getting sick at Booty Camp, and in a way that part was all my fault. I'd seen Mama at lunch, not eating again, and I got worried…so I told her ass not to show up for practice until she'd had a meal. She left campus after school with Shane, and took my advice. But then she came into rehearsal too full to perform. I saw Jones' point…we all had way too much stuff on our plates at the time., and weren't exactly dealing with the stress very well. Santana was all bitchy and cranky, when she told Jones to suck it up. And even Mike was acting crazy that week; muttering to himself between classes and breaking out in dance moves spontaneously. In my opinion, it's the only reason he and the rest of the group didn't speak up for Cedes when she was feeling ganged up on. Like I said, it was a pretty hectic week, but in the end auditions went well.

I was in the balcony waiting or our Jets-N-Sharks tryout with the rest of the Titans and Mike, when Mercedes did her song. She did a great job, had Artie waving praise hands and shit. Afterward she beamed like a damn light bulb because Coach Bieste and Miss Pillsbury couldn't stop congratulating her. I actually got up to go show Mama some love myself, too. But she was backstage with her boyfriend, and I ended up eavesdropping on their conversation instead. Tinsley was telling his Boo all this "eye of the tiger" shit, and she was thanking him for putting her head on straight. I gotta say, even though I'm not too particular about the way Shane was always telling Mercedes not to fuck with New Directions after she left, I respect that dude for the way he encouraged Mama. And I don't even blame him for the fucked up advice he was giving her, since forced animosity works like hell when you're talking about winning at sports. Tinsley's an athlete, and was trying to get his girl to think like one. That kind of shit translates into victory on the field, and he wanted his girl to win.

That same day, I saw Shuester coming outta the teacher's workroom with Bieste and Pillsbury, talking about how he had to use Mercedes newfound motivation and run with it. The two teacher chicks were still gushing over Mama's audition, and wouldn't you know Shuester was trying to take credit for it? I love our teacher in a "respect how much he loves his students" kinda way... Shuester is the type of teacher whose class a kid wants to be in if they grew up without a dad, or have issues with their own father, or maybe if they didn't get enough encouragement growing up. Shue's great at that part of being a teacher. But that other shit they teach you at teacher college? Like, making sure all your students' voices get heard and trying to motivate everybody in the best way possible? Or hell, how to fucking speak Spanish...Shuester lucked the fuck out and bullshitted his way through all of that.

Mr. Shue was listening to Bieste and Pillsbury going off about all of Mercedes' star power, and telling them all of his Booty camp pushing was making Mercedes a better performer. Then he said some shit about how he was planning to push her even harder in rehearsal! When I heard that shit I rolled my eyes so hard they damn near got stuck in my fucking eye socket.

I knew from Maria auditions that it was Shane's pushing and cajoling that made Mama feel like a star. That it was her boyfriend's encouragement that got her head on straight. That's why when Shuester started in on all that Widow-maker stuff at Booty camp I knew it wasn't gonna end well. I saw the writing on the fucking wall.

Are You Pissed Off Yet?

Lemme just say that I know for a damn fact that Mercedes felt fucking preyed on and hunted, on the day she left Glee. I could see she thought everybody in the room was coming for her, and that she had nobody there on her side. It was every-fucking-body's in that auditorium's fault, that Mama left. Nobody spoke the hell up when it would have helped, then when motherfuckers finally chimed in it was the worst possible ones running their traps. Then after everything got serious, it all escalated quick. In my opinion, we may never have lost 'Cedes if anybody had opened their goddamn mouth to defend her when Shue was on her case. Me, any of the Jazz Band kids, the AV geek doing the lighting….anybody. Sooooo much shit was going on and swirling all around me that it was sort of hard to follow it all. I was right there and only got a glimpse of how insulted and pissed off Mama was getting while the shit storm happened. But I can tell you that my girl looked fucking caged. In the few seconds before she left, I saw "fight-or-flight" written all over her pretty face. And when she took off, I didn't blame her for not looking back.

The whole thing started because everybody in Glee showed up but Rachel…mandatory or not. Even the great dancers were there putting in work. Mama asked a valid question about the chick's whereabouts, and got a bunch of attitude from Finn for her trouble. That was the first thing to go wrong. Then, when Shuester started tapping folks out for doing the Widow-maker move correctly, he wasn't being fair. Finn didn't go down all the way, but our teacher told him that he'd done it right, anyway. And Tina used both her hands to balance on the ground; ended up doing the move like it was sort of a really speedy half-split. Shuester gave her a bye, too. Plus, me and Hummel were off the mark. But we all got past Shuester's critique, which left Mama all alone on the stage trying to get the shit right. So the situation was unjust as hell, on top of being embarrassing for her.

Then when Will got up in Jones' face, everybody with a fucking opinion chimed in on the shit instead of letting Mama and our teacher hash everything out. They'd all been so fucking quiet when she was telling Shuester how unfair he was being, when they should have been helping her out. But the minute Mama needed everybody to stay quiet and let her deal with our teacher, they all came out of a bag on her. Santana came at Mama with some "quit complaining and start sweating" bullshit like we were on an episode of Fame. Probably she was just sucking Shue's ass so he'd forget all her fire-starter shit, but Mama couldn't have known that. Plus, Kurt was rolling his neck and shit, telling Mercedes to stop complaining, because he deserved a solo just as much as she but wasn't going off about it. In my opinion, Hummel was just blowing off steam because he was mad that he wasn't the one getting all the attention. And I'd heard around the way the dude had bombed his WSS audition, too. Plus, the Fairy was probably tired. But at the time it seemed like he was coming for Jones, and she looked fucking hurt. And Mike actually told Mercedes that the argument wasn't his to get involved in, even though he was the dance tutor and could have told Shuester he wasn't being fair by pushing 'Cedes so hard. My Asian bro's excuse for not jumping in was some shit about not having anything to add to a debate about singing leads…since he wasn't likely to have any. Even I was guilty, because I tried to get Mama to cooperate and enjoy Glee on whatever terms she could. I wasn't being disloyal, but I figured she could still be the star at church, right? To this day I regretted that shit. Because it was the wrong move. I should have kept my mouth shut, or at least told the room they were a bunch of pussies for ignoring Babygirl. If I had, then maybe 'Cedes wouldn't have jumped ship. And she did it so fast I was the only one who saw it coming.

Even after Mercedes left New Directions she still came to Maria callbacks and represented. I meant what I said to Quinn about the shit being on some clash of the Titans kinda stuff. I mean, both girls had their boyfriends pumping them up backstage, everybody was there….this was showdown time. And for once, I thought the song said a lot about all of the performers. It was pretty obvious that the directors tried to make it a more level playing field than usual….Shuester would have just gave the role to Berry or told them to audition with a song in her wheelhouse. But Bieste, Pillsbury and Abrams didn't roll that way, and it showed; Mama killed it. Hit notes Berry can't even hear in her own head; she was way the fuck better. When I heard she didn't win the part I was completely floored.

The next week me and Quinn offered to babysit Beth, and Shelby accepted. Then right afterward we went to Glee, where everybody was tripping out over Cedes leaving. Tina was blubbering her ass off and people were blaming Shue…which I agreed with. I made damn sure to put my two cents in, believe that. I let the whole class know I thought we were screwed without Mama. I even had a few opportunities to let Jones know I supported her while she went her own way. Mama was running around trying to drum up membership for her group and I was the one who suggested she focus on getting people on her team whose voices work best with hers... namely Satan. When Finn pissed off Brittany and the girls joined Mercedes' group, those three never treated me like the enemy. I remember the day she came up and thanked me at school for telling the class we were gonna be fucked up unless Mama came back... she'd heard about it and was really grateful.

I'd been walking to lunch when I heard my name being shouted. "Hey Puck..." It was Mama, trying to get my attention. "...wait up!"

I stopped walking long enough for her to catch up with me. "What's up, Mama?"

Mercedes giggled. "Boy, you and that nickname are too much. Are you busy right now? Or can we eat lunch together...I wanted to talk to you if you have time."

"Let's go, I'm starving." So started walking together.

"Puck," We made our way to the courtyard while Mama began talking. "I just wanted to thank you for being such a great friend to me. Lately it feels like not too many people around here really have my back. Even a bunch of my closest friends haven't been around to support me much. But I've noticed all the different ways you've been in my corner this year, and I want you to know how grateful I am."

At the time I appreciated her telling me the shit, because I felt like I probably should have done more. She made me feel less guilty, so I just said, "No prob...I honestly didn't do shit."

Mercedes slapped my arm and pointed at me. "Don't say that..." Then she started counting on her fingers. "First of all you're one of the few people in Glee who didn't come for me at the Booty Camp debacle. Then you suggested I recruit Satan. Plus, I heard about how you told New Directions they couldn't win without me..."

"Tina?" I interrupted.

"Tana," she corrected. "You're also the only one of my former Glee-mates who never once tried to defend Shuester to me or play on my soft side to get me to come back. I appreciate it."

I just nodded.

"Not only that, but..." Mama continued."...Its just that it's been a couple of years since you joined Glee, and I've always sort of considered us 'hi-bye' friends. We don't hang out after school, or spend time together outside of choir. Now that I know what a good guy you're capable of being…"

She stopped me with a huge hug right before we opened the double doors to go outside and I grinned my ass off. "…I owe you a lot." Mama finished.

"You're welcome, Jones." We'd started walking again. "To be honest, I've been busy this week trying to figure out whether or not I owed your ass an apology. So we're square."

"An apology?" Mama looked confused while we looked around the courtyard for an empty table. "What for?"

"Yeah…I think I owe you one." I answered. "I didn't help you our at Booty Camp like I should have. I was the only person there who knew beforehand that Shuester was planning on pushing you too hard in rehearsal on purpose. I should have had your back when you went off, but I didn't say shit."

"Wait, you knew?" Mama asked.

"Yeah…" I explained. "…I caught Shuester bragging outside the teachers lounge about you. I spied on 'em long enough to figure out he thought that shit was helping you."

"Well, why would he do that? I mean, what's it to Mr. Shue if I become a great performer?"

I eyed her from across the table we'd found. "Cause he knows how good you are and wanted to take credit when motherfuckers started gushing about you and shit." We sat down.

Mercedes averted her eyes and crossed her arms to keep me from realizing that she was kinda flattered. It didn't work though. "And here I thought the man just wanted to make me look bad…"

"Hell, no!" I let her know. While she smiled I rooted around in my pocket for a candy bar I had stashed in there before school. "Of course, in the end the shit made you look bad anyway…Dude ain't have any business calling you lazy in front of everybody…"

Mama's expression changed back to slightly pissed off, right then.

"…and you quit, so Shue's plan backfired on him. But that wasn't his intention." I bit into my Almond Joy.

"I have to say, that's really good to know." Mama stood up, leaving her stuff on the table. "And you didn't have to apologize to me for that. You're forgiven."

"Cool. Where the hell are you going?"

"Waiting for you to finish your candy so we can go hit the cafeteria line. Lunch is on me today. So come on Puckasaurus, we gotta eat fast." Mama reached out for my hand which I took. "I have a surprise for you afterward, that I'm excited about."

Jones' surprise was actually that she and the other members of the TroubleTones wanted me to see their Candy Man performance. Finn and Mr. Schue may have had to sneak in to their rehearsal to see it, but the 'Zilla got a special production, courtesy of the group.

I gotta say, those chicks were the hotness. The costumes fucking rocked…fit Mama so much better than any of the shit New Directions used to come up with. And the fact that Motta's daddy's money was so long meant that the props and backdrops were all professional looking and shit. They sounded amazing, which I wasn't surprised by; and the dancing was fucking perfect. I don't know what kinda crack rock Shuester was smoking when he said Jones needed help with her moves, but it musta been some good ass shit.

Mama was swaying her hips and dancing all sexy. She shimmied and dipped, performed all this vigorous-ass footwork and did it all while wearing high heels. She sang the sexy ass words, about panties dropping and almost sang the word "cock" a bunch of times. Jones managed to look me dead in the eye right when she sang that "…good things come to those who wait…" line. And the look on her face while doing the shit was one I couldn't mistake for anything other than pure happiness. She was obviously so happy to have a group to call her own that it shined all over her face. I could feel it radiating from my seat in the audience.

Which is why I never once said a damn thing to the girls about coming back to New Directions. I just wanted Jones happy. Maybe I could have tried to use my influence or some shit but I never even tried, because I liked seeing my girl shine. And I felt disloyal as hell. Which is why I was fucking relieved when Finn brought the kid who sang like Kurt and talked like somebody from Harry Potter to class. It meant that ND would probably be straight.

That day after school I went to my house and thought about some shit. I had stuff on my mind that confused the hell outta me, and it was bugging me. Outside of all the ND drama, I also had Quinn on my ass trying me to help her get Beth. On the surface, I was on board. I wanted Beth back, too. But the bitch was all up in my face, trying to force me to do shit her way…and it felt wrong as hell. I was so fucking conflicted, too…I mean, on the one hand I had Que trying make me get a legit job. With like, uniforms and a fucking fast food sun visor. Or maybe one of those jobs where you have to pass a cherry picker driving test and wear steel toe boots. She didn't give half a rats ass about whether or not I wanted to do that shit; all she cared about was wanting to make sure she didn't have to work once we started raising our baby together. But on the other hand I had Shelby helping me land a serious opportunity doing what I was already good at. On one side I was dealing with Quinn wanting me to help her sabotage Shelby, but on the other was Shelby…in action, doing the mother thing.

I probably mulled that shit over for about four hours before I hopped in my truck and got my ass over to Shelby's. When I made my choice about which side I'd land on it was actually easy as hell. All I had to do to make my decision was look at Shelby. She was at home; all tired and frustrated trying to get Beth to sleep. And where was Quinn? At the mall with Brittany, spending all her Daddy's money on clothes that would fool a judge into giving her custody. Shelby was in the trenches, making sacrifices and inconveniencing herself so Beth would have a good life. As I looked at her and remembered seeing that same look on my own Mom's face, I made up my mind to help her as much as I could.

And Shelby let me, unlike Que. She allowed me to calm my little girl down, and trusted me to help the same way my Moms let me help her with Michelle all my life. As far as I was concerned, bitch ass Quinn and her crazy demands could suck my balls. So I got Beth to sleep, ran outside to ditch the Botox and hot sauce I had stashed in my draws, then came back in to keep Shelby company. We talked, and she told me everything I'd missed out on as a father. It made me want a normal family life; I guess…I could see myself, coming home to a wife and kids. Eating dinner and talking about shit together. And I could tell Shelby was feeling it too. She slapped my chest whenever I made her laugh and didn't treat me like a little kid. The chick acted like a woman acts around her man. And that's why when I checked up on Beth one last time and turned around to find Shelby had gotten closer…I went in for the fucking kill. And I wasn't sorry at all.

Biding Time...

That next week was when we put on the play, and it was cool I guess. I dug playing a Puerto Rican, since nobody ever knows what the hell I am until I tell 'em, anyway. And I'm good at accents, too. A bunch of my Glee homies got laid that week, and I even managed to congratulate Finn beforehand. I laid low on the Shelby front, though. I figured she would have to process the fact that we kissed or some shit. Plus, I was putting in extra work on school assignments and pool cleaning, so I didn't really have the time to go make her ass holler for me, anyway. I knew we would eventually fuck, and I planned on getting her completely sprung on young dick whenever we did. I was thanking Hashem daily for all the MILF lessons I'd gotten over the years, since I also knew I had to be hot like fire in the sack if I wanted Shelby on Team Puckfasa for the next forty years. But even though I wasn't moving on anything just yet I was still planning all kinds a shit.

Like for instance, I had made up my mind to wait until I graduated before moving in with Shelby…since getting caught fucking a student could get her fired and I was planning on being a stay-at-home dad, anyway. And I wanted to sell my bike and truck, too. Maybe invest in a family car with good gas mileage and seat belts. Like one of those tiny-ass SUVs or a badass looking crossover. At some point I also wanted to talk to Shelby about maybe moving back to New York after we got married. Our little girl was gonna be the shit, and needed a big ass city to grow in. Like I said, I was doing all this planning while staying away from Shelby. Instead of confronting her and laying all my intentions out there I just concentrated on the play and doing constructive shit.

When West Side Story was over, though, I made sure to put all my plans on blast. I specifically picked my Asian bros, Chang and Anderson to be my backup dancers when I did Hot for Teacher in class. I like surrounding myself with minorities whenever possible, plus those two are the only dudes in Glee who can sell sexy dance moves. I just wished Blaine would get a pair of pants that reached all the way to his feet for once, or at least wear a fucking pair of socks. Still, that tiny little dude showed his ass on the performance. And I know Shelby heard about that shit. When I got in her face and let her know I was planning on she, me and Beth one day becoming a family, she tried to redirect my ass and play like she wasn't down. But she laughed her ass off and averted her eyes whenever they met mine. I know that shit means one thing: sexual tension brewing. So I just let the chick know I'd be over there to put together my baby's crib later on that day.

After that I met up with Quinn in the hall, who'd decided that she needed to join the TroubleTones so she could get closer to Beth. At the time I didn't tell her that I was already helping Shelby out by getting rid of all the planted evidence. But I did let her think I was still on her side. Que wasn't able to get on the TroubleTones before the mashup competition like she wanted. So we performed the Hall and Oates songs together while the TTs watched us and snickered. We were standing right next to each other when we realized the TroubleTones weren't clapping for us afterward. I guess Finn and Shue's plan to intimidate the new group didn't work.

Mama's new group was every bit as good as I expected. One mo' gain the costume choices were better, and worked better for Mercedes. The dancing was perfect for a sexy all girl group and their vocals were on point. I know my ass was scared as hell that we'd lose at competition. And a bunch of the other ND's felt the same way. In a way I appreciated the distraction that happened afterward, since focusing on how outclassed ND was would have sucked. But Snixx went the hell off and slapped the shit out of Finn, so everybody had other shit to think about.

I heard later on that Finn covered for Satan in Principal Figgins office and that Shuester was maaaaddd! Turns out by that time our faculty advisor was willing to do whatever the fuck he could to sabotage our competition's chances at Sectionals. Even let Santana get suspended, when he knew Finn was hitting below the belt when he outed the chick. But the shit worked itself out. Shuester, Finn and Shelby all got together and planned out Lady Music Week.

At first that shit didn't go over well. Tana seemed flabbergasted when the homos did their song for her, and looked fucking appalled when Anderson started rapping.

When I did my song, I got a bunch of different reactions. I could tell Tana wasn't feeling me, but I just told myself it was because the shit was written by an actual gay lady. Lopez probably just couldn't deal. And she did seem kind of thankful after the fact. But the rest of the class seemed to dig it. Quinn thought I was singing to her, and Shelby was struggling not to react. Rachel looked confused, and Mercedes and Sugar swooned their asses off. I was a fucking hit.

Right after that, Quinn tried to seduce me and I turned her down, mean. She was acting crazy as all outdoors, and I'd had enough. It was fucked up the way Que and I only got along with each other long enough to make a baby together. The rest of the time we bumped heads left and right. When I wanted back in her undies? Quinn decided to go all "second virginity" on my ass. But the second I make up my mind to quit engaging in nameless, faceless, zipless ass fucks, all of a sudden she wants to bang? I was insulted as fuck and let her know just how I felt about it.

Finn doing his song was what finally turned Lady Music Week around for Tana. I could see she probably thought his arrangement of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun was pretty dopey. I, myself would have brought all the dudes in on it and did Cyndi Lauper proud. But him slowing it down must have given Satan enough time to appreciate all the effort everybody was going to for her…it affected the chick the way Hudson hoped it would. She cried and hugged him after he was done, and we all saw there weren't any more hard feelings between 'em. After that, she quit complaining about the songs we were dedicating to her and shit. She was finally acting grateful and having fun.

After voting for class Prez, we all went back to the choir room and watched the girls do the Katy Perry song they picked, and I had two reactions. Number One: I wished Jones had had a bigger part, since Rachel's voice didn't work very well on it, and she sounded like an opera singer trying rap. And Number Two: I was jealous as hell of Brittana, since both of 'em managed to smack Mercedes on the hip when they were dancing. We all loved the performance, and totally dug on how all the straight girls went whole hog trying to support Tana. They got seriously bi-curious with the dancing and shit, I was proud of 'em for not being shy about it. I cracked the hell up watching Artie and Mike though; those two were acting an ass and getting into the song big time.

Later, while I was kicking ass in math class Shelby called me so I could help her through a crisis with Beth. It was my first chance to show her why she needed a man around to talk to people on her and Beth's behalf. I took charge like a man. Like a father. And afterward we talked. I told Shelby how much I was looking forward to spending more time together as a family, and how I couldn't wait for her to get on board with us hooking up. I told her all about my plans, and she seemed flattered by the shit. She even joked around with me when I said that shit about me being a stay-at-home father. Called me a Desperate Househusband and advised me to keep away from the maids. To my way of thinking, she and I were hashing out a lot of important stuff; forming a plan. When she let me in them panties, I figured it was our special way of sealing the deal.

The sex itself was good, we both got off and it was physical as shit. I think Shelby may have been trying to recreate some of the buck-wild fucking from her youth…since she was all about switching up positions and biting my shoulders everytime she came. It was fun, and I figured the shit would probably mellow out once we got used to screwing as a committed couple. Gave me some shit to look forward to. But afterward, Shelby was all "it's a mistake," and shit; she kicked me out like I was some pool-cleaning-ass fuckboy whose only job description included getting her off and then going the hell home. That shit was insulting as hell, especially when you consider how serious about her I was getting. It pissed me off so I went to Que's for a revenge fuck.

While I was there it finally hit me how much Quinn was hurting and for how long she'd been in pain. I knew just from watching the girl that she wasn't doing too good. But before that I never realized how much it threw Quinn's ass to be a teen mom who gave her baby away immediately after birth. I had told myself junior year that Quinn was a trouper, and probably okay. But I was wrong… Since it was my fault that the girl had to go through all that shit, I decided it was only fair for me to do my part towards making her feel better. It was easy too. I held her, and we talked. At the time I knew I probably shouldn't have told Quinn about me doing Shelby. But I was reeling -mad as hell. Plus, I wanted to put just as much energy into fixing Quinn as the club was putting into helping Santana. In my own defense, it did seem to help.

Our last Glee rehearsal that week was probably the most dramatic and unnecessarily eventful hour of my life. Quinn was shooting daggers at Rachel and me. She kept making all these snide ass comments about inappropriate behavior. Rachel told us she was banned from competing at Sectionals, and everybody was feeling pretty dejected. Rachel's problem was pretty fucked up, and it opened up a whole different pile of bullshit for us New Directions to wade through. Eventually, we got around it, but sometimes I still wish "Sam Evans" hadn't been the best solution we could come up with.

A/N: Can I just say, that when I re-watched Mash Off in order to write this chapter… I was struck by an overwhelming desire to jump on Puck?

Like I was really, actually turned on by a fictional character.

And I don't judge Shelby one iota for getting up on that. Mark Salling as Puck is the worst kind of man-whore conundrum for a sista trying to do the right thing. I only hope that in real life, the dude is actually shy and sweet. Because Puck? That guy takes pimplicious and swaggerific to new levels of unfair, and I feel for any females in his path. I mean, he just LOOKS like he has tricks up his fucking sleeve for turning bitches out.

Poor Shelby…

Anyway, next chapter Sam comes back! I have to admit, that sometimes when really cute Samcedes scenes happen, I have trouble looking directly at them. Like when Sam sneaks backstage to see Mercedes perform I Will Survive/Survivor, or the couple sang Summer Nights. I still haven't sat through a full viewing of Human Nature, because I can't bear to see all the adorable ass flirting. So the next one is really hard for me to write. Stay tuned though…it's shaping up great.

Until next time…