A/N: Okay, this chapter is my attempt to remind everyone about all of the different ways Samcedes pretty much made S3 of Glee watchable. I don't know about all of you, but I get a little bit annoyed whenever I join Tumblr conversations about Samcedes. We all pretty much agree that the couple was too damn cute for words, yet nobody in a position of power cares to address anything real about their relationship. It's just so obvious (to me, at least) that the writers didn't like how popular the pairing was compared to others... The Powers That Be probably regretted taking any shine away from the faves…or whatever. So the pairing went the way of the dinosaurs.
But S3 was basically built around Sam and Mercedes' relationship. After Sam got back, their little angst re-played heavily…over and over in every fucking episode. Cuteness…flirting…obviously heartfelt feelings. It all happened; we didn't make it up. And Puck saw it all!
Even though my Samcedes thirst has waned a lot due to S4 shit I felt it was my duty to have Puck comment on all the sweetness. My Puck is observant, makes insightful parallels, and doesn't forget shit! And its okay, because he's gonna use all his knowledge later on anyway. This torture won't last past Chapter 15, I promise.
I can't forget my faithful reviewers, either…Illiandyandra, Goalihta-Leigh, AnniKay, box5angel, NeneJPhilly, and LudaNeet, thank you all for your kind words since my last update!
Illyandyandra and Annikay helped me out with suggestions for this chapter and I owe them a huge thanks!
Also, a serious round of applause for cmpunkfangurl! She suggested some of the dream sequences a long time ago…instances where Mercedes' character is styled cutely or when they actually write her as girly or flirty. We bonded via inbox over the way all of that stuff is overlooked for Mercedes on the regular. And we both agreed Puck wouldn't ever be guilty of making that mistake. It took awhile…but almost all your suggestions made their way in this chapter, along with a few other ones So I hope you like it girl!
In fact, I hope all of you dig it…so without further ado…
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or the characters of Glee.
Game the Fuck On
I guess you could say that I had real mixed feelings about Trouty's ass coming back to Ohio for Sectionals. On the one hand, I was glad as hell that the boy had returned, because it meant that we would have a fighting chance of winning onstage…that right there is the whole point of Glee, right? Being better than the other choirs. And his coming back meant we might get to keep competing. But on the other hand, I was worried about what the shit meant for Mama. I mean, her ex coming back just to squash her group at competition? Jones had to have been feeling some kinda way about that bullshit; plus, her relationship with Tinsley was on the line, too. All that junk Mercedes had been spouting off about Samcedes being a fling or whatever was a bunch of goddamn lies…I knew seeing Evans would be hard on Jones. So I was glad my ass was nowhere around when Finn suggested to our teacher that we go get his ass to compete. That was definitely one conversation I was more than happy to stay the fuck out of.
However, I was the one who brought the name "Sam" up in conversation the day before Finn made his big suggestion to Schuester. Which means that I was at least partially responsible for everything that happened after that.
See, the Sunday before Sectionals, all us Glee dudes were over in Finn and Kurt's backyard going over our numbers together. The songs were all Jackson Family stuff, which both Artie and Mike were going a little nutty about. Mike kept declaring that our dance moves had to get the whole audience up and moving, and Artie insisted that everybody had to be in top form musically. So we shut 'em up by agreeing to extra practice time…and they were riding us kinda hard. Anyway, it was me, Finn, Kurt, Mike, Artie, and Blaine; since Britts had already picked up Rory so he could go Skype his family back wherever the hell he comes from. At one point we were all taking a break and copping a squat on the lawn.
Finn, by that time, was feeling pretty guilty about all the shit he'd thrown at Mama during Booty Camp right before she left. He was completely over trying to convince motherfuckers that his girlfriend was the only star in New Directions and deserved special treatment. Plus, he'd already seen the CandyMan dancing so he knew he was dead wrong for saying the shit. Finn got the shit started by asking the rest of us dudes what we may have said or done differently if we had a chance to do that day all over again.
Everybody was quiet for a few seconds before Mike finally spoke up.
"If I could go back, I guess I probably would have made sure to tell Mercedes that I understood how overextended she was feeling back then."
Blaine turned bodily and asked, "What do you mean?"
"You know…" Mike continued. "…during that time we were all being spread pretty thin. Mercedes wasn't exactly exaggerating that day she showed up late and too full to dance."
I agreed with him by jerking my chin in his direction.
" And personally, I can admit to having a bunch of different things on my plate. Sometimes it got really hard to juggle them all. I was running Booty Camp, helping the Titans with their number for play auditions, playing football. And my grades were suffering, so my Dad was riding my ass, too…"
We all nodded, because we remembered Mike going a little bit nutso around that time.
"…but I got through it all by concentrating on what I loved best. I threw myself into helping the football team learn the 'Cool' footwork, and focused on my audition. In the end everything else just fell into place, I guess."
"So you would have told 'Cedes… what?" Artie asked.
"I honestly don't know, specifically," Mike admitted. "I could have advised Mercedes to do vocal exercises in her down time during Booty Camp. Or maybe suggest that she work with some of the New Directions who were better dancers than singers. Cause if I'm the best dancer, then she's definitely the best singer. Schue should have been running camps for all of it if he really wants to win."
"That's true!" Blaine agreed.
"Yeah, that might have made Mercedes feel a lot less persecuted," Artie chimed in.
"Exactly," Mike said, nodding. "If camp had been more fun for Mercedes she may not have left despite the frustrating dance moves."
I totally coulda seen that shit working, in retrospect…Chang gets good grades for a reason. Plus, if we were gonna be a singing group who dances then it would have made a lot more sense for us to rehearse doing them both at the same time.
Kurt cut in, "That probably would have persuaded Rachel to come to practice, too. Which is half the reason she got so mad that day. If we'd have acted more like a team, Mercedes never would have felt so picked on."
I was probably the only one out there who realized that she was being picked on my Schue… but I kept that shit quiet and asked Hummel, "Well, what about you?" I ain't even gonna lie; I was feeling kinda pissy towards the Fairy for pretending like he actually gave a shit. All of his, "I'm just as talented as you" fuckery at Booty Camp had added to the problem.
"What about me, Noah?" he asked, innocently.
"I'm saying, dude… What would you have done differently? Cause I know your ass realizes by now the shit you did say made everything worse…"
Kurt looked at me like a deer caught in a pair of headlights before admitting, "I suppose I can admit that my selfishness more than likely played a part in Mercedes' defection."
That was all I needed to hear…and probably something Mama wanted to hear, too.
"And I know now that I was somewhat premature in my support of Rachel during West Side Story auditions."
Finn shot Hummel a glare, which Kurt turned right back on his ass.
"What?" Kurt defended. "I'm only saying that it probably didn't help matters on the Mercedes front…there's no way she couldn't see that I'd been assuming Rachel would get the part. And it hurt her; we were besties for so long…"
"But Rachel did a great job!" Finn blustered. He just didn't get it.
"True," Kurt allowed. "But she totally threw me under the bus during my second Tony try-out. The directors laughed in my face during my monologue, and Rachel joined right in. I'm not saying that I lost the role because of her; after all, we ended up with the best Tony ever…" He shot Blaine a lovesick gaze. "…But in light of what I know now, I could have shown my bestie more support and maybe changed her mind about leaving Glee."
He wasn't wrong…Berry stole his thunder during that shit storm, and during class president elections, too. And that's some shit Jones wouldn't do to any-damn-body. It looked like everybody else agreed…even Finn's ass.
"Not to mention all the time you didn't spend with her over the summer, Kurt" Blaine chided gently. "We made plans, but never once managed to actually hang out with Mercedes. And you had all the time in the world for me and Rachel." I knew even back then that Blaine has a real hard-on for 'Cedes…he's fascinated by her ass. Literally. And her voice gives the dude gay-wood.
"Blaine!" Kurt was shocked. "I was working on my play!"
"And eating fro-yo every Sunday night," Artie cut in. I guess he must have seen Gayberry enjoying themselves at TCBY or something.
"Plus coffee on Wednesdays," Mike added.
"Okay, okay…" Kurt finally accepted the blame. "…I unintentionally cut Mercedes off. I found myself wrapped in a lovey-dovey bubble, on a haze of Broadway dreams…making everything but Mercedes a priority. It's no wonder she felt so left behind and isolated. It must…must have been miserable for her…"
I couldn't stand by and watch 'ol boy drown himself in pity for Mama…cause I knew her summer had started out pretty fucking good. So I let him know he could stop kicking himself. "Hummel, tuck your hanky back inside your sleeve…" He quit pouting long enough to shoot me the bird. "…Jones was cool this past summer. She spent it wrapped all around Evans; and believe me, he kept her plenty busy."
"Sam?" Finn looked confused, like always. "Why was she hanging out with Sam? Was it like, for charity, cause he's so poor?"
"Yeah, Puck…and how the hell do you know about it?" asked Wheels.
"Those two dated hard-core, Hudson. Evans made sure Jones was occupied, believe me!" I waggled my eyebrows and everybody, even Finn, got the message.
"That's not true!" Kurt exploded. "Puck, Artie…everybody who follows JBI's blog knows they dated some. But from my understanding, those two were nothing more than good friends having a summer fling. Sweet kisses by the lake, babysitting his siblings, carnival rides…I'm sure they enjoyed themselves, and the relationship more than likely kept their minds off less pleasant matters; but trust me, it was also completely innocent!"
He turned to Blaine "You know how glad I am to know Sam was there for Mercedes when I wasn't around; but I know her, and wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong impression...their summer romance was all in the name of fun."
"Oh, they had fun alright…" I agreed. "…naked fun!"
Everybody other than Kurt burst out laughing.
"Get some, Evans!" Mike joked.
"Playa, playa…" Artie chimed in.
"Yeah, way to go Sam!" Blaine added.
"Blaine, don't listen to him…Pucks full of unmitigated crap!"
I stopped laughing when my character was called into question. Because I may be an ass, but I'm not a lying ass. Plus, Hummel had just got through admitting that he'd left Mama behind. What the hell was he playing at; trying to suggest he knew something I didn't?
"Whatevs, Homo." I threw my damp sweat-towel and hit him right in the eye…he responded by pullin some sort of baby wipe looking shit outta his pocked and dabbing at his cheeks. "Sam came over to my house a bunch of times before he moved to jawbone with me about his relationship with Mama. I was the only one in the clique that figured out they were dating at the end of the school year, and sometimes he needed to talk. He told me when they were still a secret, and fighting about it." I ticked off on my fingers. "He told me when he was worried about Tinsley stealing his girl, and he sat on my bed crying about how much he loved the chick after he found out about Kentucky. Plus, I know a pussy-whipped motherfucker when I see one!"
"Puck is very familiar in the ways of the recently de-virginized…" Artie commented.
"Yeah…that's right." I agreed. "And dude was totally sprung. Probably still is, for that matter…and if I'm being honest, she's more than likely right there with him. When was the last time you heard about a chick giving up her cherry and not catching feelings?"
"Oh, my!" Kurt had tears forming in his eyes; I could tell the exact moment he realized my ass was right. "Mercedes has done so much…grown up really; without me around to offer any support! I have to make amends…Some kind of way, I owe her that much."
I agreed. "You'll figure something out, Hummel."
"So you're saying that Sam still has feelings for Mercedes and Mercedes still loves him too?" Finn had been quiet all this time and I honestly almost forgot his ass was there.
I nodded.
"Which means that if we get him back here for Sectionals then it could throw TroubleTones off?"
Dirty-playing motherfucker. But I nodded again.
"Guys…I think I have an idea that'll guarantee a New Directions victory!"
So Finn and Rachel brought Evans back and didn't waste any goddamn time telling the whole school how they'd found him in a stripping bar…complete with happy hour buffet and horny ass housewives. He arrived just in time for rehearsal, and proceeded to show his ass getting everybody on the same page with his song. Everybody dug it, but it made me feel weird as hell. I was already uncomfortable as shit, because by then Quinn knew about me and Shelby. And I was apprehensive about the funny-looking Jazz band members we were actually gonna let onstage. Evans and his little country jamboree just told me shit was gonna get weirder before things went back to normal.
Speaking of which, I wondered at the time if everybody in the room was as shocked by how different Trouty was when he got back. I mean, he was taller and had a haircut. So he looked different. And the dude was wearing a shirt that he looked like he'd been painted into. At the time I kinda figured he'd been working out to improve his stripper-ella moves and wasn't buying new clothes in his new size to save money. But one good conversation with the dude let me know he probably wore that shit tight on purpose to show off his body. Because my boy? He'd changed on the inside too. He was more confident, almost cocky. And he wasn't giving a damn about looking cool at school anymore, which I actually understood and respected. Dude stayed cool when Satan went off on her big-mouth tangent instead of flipping out like he did when she sang Trouty Mouth. Then he was all about the sexy dance moves and shit during rehearsal, to the point where he started pushing Anderson around. He was definitely on some new shit.
After rehearsal was over, most of us Glee bros went over to Hummel's again, this time without Blaine and Kurt there…Trouty was still a little pissed at Anderson for all the slut-shaming, so the Gay-Bros decided to work on performance costumes at his house instead. The rest of us were working through the new choreography and filling Evans in on all the drama he missed when he wasn't around.
Now, I'd heard some pretty interesting shit about Sam by the time we told him the rest of us would be following him home to the Hudmels…Apparently, he'd caught up with 'Cedes in the halls after his face off with Anderson and declared to everybody in the vicinity that he was gonna get her ass back. So when we finished going over dance moves for the three hundredth time then sat down in the den to rest, I already had a pretty good idea of where his head was at. I knew he was way the fuck over Quinn, that he gave zero fucks about Jones' big ass boyfriend, and that he would be hungry for any information that would help him get back in her panties. 'Ole boy didn't disappoint me at all.
We discussed a lot of stuff actually; like the mash-off, West Side Story, Rachel getting suspended, and Que going off the rails. But Trouty wasn't even pretending to be interested. The only thing on his mind were the TroubleTones…namely, the leader of the TroubleTones. He asked what kinda music they liked to sing, and nodded appreciatively when we mentioned all the Adele songs we'd seen them perform. He asked what they wore for performances, smiling like a loony bird as Artie described all the costumes we'd seen…even fist pumped a little when I pulled out my phone and showed him the Candy Man outfits. He wanted to know who their "Rachel" was, and said "Good," when we told him it was Mama. Then he quit fucking around and straight up asked about how the split affected Jones.
"You guys keep saying that Mercedes quit first, then a couple of weeks later recruited Satan and Britt." Evans started. "But I don't understand something…why didn't you guys get her back before it got that far?"
"Sam, you weren't around…" Mike answered. "…so you couldn't possibly understand. There was a lot of drama involved; Mercedes wasn't gonna listen to us after that!"
"Oh, I don't understand how stubborn Mercedes is?" He challenged. "Me? No…try harder. Make me understand. I wanna know."
"Okay," Artie tried, taking a deep breath before starting. "It was like, the confrontation that ultimately resulted in the split had been a long time coming. Like a wound, festering…there was so much damage already done before things got to that level. Then when the big confrontation started, most of us were scared to say anything in case it made things even worse…"
"Plus," I chimed in. "…the only people who spoke up actually did make it worse. And by the time Jones got her new group together she was too far gone." In my case Mama looked too damn happy for me to try and shut it down.
"Honestly, all I'm hearing here is that you guys didn't even try!" Sam spat out. "Y'all have heard all the gossip by now. You know we spent the summer together before I left. So I get Mercy…she's the best person in the world to have around when something shitty happens in your life. Because her heart's so big."
He turned to Mike. "I've heard that girl call New Directions a family more times than I can count. She loved being a part of the group. And she'd never turn her back on family…"
Then he shot a glare at Artie, who looked sheepish.
"…unless they turned on her first!" He was visibly pissed and ready to go the hell off, I could tell.
"Sam's right," Mike agreed. "And that's exactly what happened. Mercedes felt like Schuester and the rest of us didn't appreciate her talent, so she took it elsewhere."
"But, see…it's gotta be more than that, too!" Evans argued. "Because Mercedes might have left in a fit of anger, but she never would have stayed away unless singing with the other group made her happy…or if she thought she was better off where she was! She's changed…something has changed her. And you're not telling me what it is!"
"What do you mean, changed?" asked Finn. "Because she doesn't seem that different to me…"
"Well, she is!" Sam let him know. "First of all, she looks different. I know her better than you guys; I've held her in my arms and put my hands everywhere on that body she'd let me touch…"
Me and Artie fist bumped while Finn muttered "Mailman," and Mike blushed his ass off.
"…and she's lost at least twenty pounds since the summer. Plus, she told the whole damn school that I was 'So June,' when six months ago I was her one and only love. Mercedes doesn't sit with you guys at lunch anymore, and she's not interested in anything but her new group and her new man. That's not my Cedes!"
"Well, she's not your 'Cedes anymore," I told him. "People grow up and change…"
"And the weight?" He ignored my comment. "I mean, has she been eating? Are the TroubleTone workouts and dance rehearsals just that grueling, or is Cedes skipping meals?"
"Probably a little bit of both, man…" I answered. "…All the rest of the TroubleTones are athletes, and Mama is their leader…she's more than likely doing double-time to keep up."
"He's right," Mike agreed.
"And the eating?"
I shrugged. "I suppose I've caught her a few times skipping lunch when something was on her mind real heavy…"
Sam glared at me.
"Hey, don't look at me like that, man. I told her to go eat something once or twice. But it backfired when eating off campus made her late to Booty Camp…"
"That's what that whole Quiznos thing was about?" Artie asked.
"Yeah…that bullshit was all my fault," I replied. Evans seemed to calm down so I addressed him again. "Anyway, you keep forgetting that you weren't around to witness this shit. You called us family, and Jones was all about family…but it didn't feel like family in the auditorium when she left."
"Mercedes felt picked on that day," Artie added.. "Finn defended Rachel, but Cedes was defending herself..."
Finn looked dejected and guilty. "Well what about you?" He pointed at Robo-Nerd. "You took Maria from her, and even Rachel admitted to me that Mercedes was better." Artie looked shocked, and to be honest I was too. Finn probably wasn't supposed to tell that little bit. "We all played a part…" Finn finished.
"And when you all figured this shit out did anybody apologize?" Sam huffed and puffed. "I mean…by now you've all seen them perform! Has anybody finally gone up to Mercedes and told her New Directions respects her talent?"
"No…" Mike admitted. "…I would have, but I never really had the chance to. Mercedes doesn't have much time for any of us these days..."
Everybody except me agreed.
"So reading between the lines, what you're saying here is Mercedes has a new life and she's okay if you guys aren't part of it?"
Mike nodded.
"Its just so damn frustrating, guys," Sam rolled over on his stomach on the floor and rested his chin in his palms. "Not to mention, completely fucked up. I came back here expecting things to be exactly the same as when I left. Us dodging slushies together, and meeting up in the auditorium during study hall. We were all so tight before…"
Everybody in the room looked sad as shit.
"The only New Directions member I saw Mercedes talk to all day in school was Puck!" He continued. "And now I find out it's all because you dudes are too chickenshit to let her know we need her?"
"Hey, dude…calm down." I cut in. "Mike just told you she's steering clear of our asses on purpose... We can't force her to stay close to everybody. And anyway, Mama doesn't need us around to let her know what she's worth…her man takes care of all that shit..."
"He's right," agreed Artie.
"I agree," Blaine added.
"… I don't think he'd really understand her being all buddy-buddy with the members of a rival team, anyway," I continued. "I mean, would you hang out hardcore with somebody you were trying to beat the shit out of?"
"So you're saying Tinsley's been telling her to give y'all space?" Sam asked. After we shrugged, he went on. "Well, fuck that dude! He spent most of the summer trying to break the two of us up. Now I come back here and find out Mercedes thinks he's the only one in her corner?"
"You're not gonna like, throw the competition or anything are you?" Finn sorta changed the subject. "You know, to get her back… Because if the TroubleTones win at Sectionals then we can kiss New Directions goodbye. Santana and Mercedes might let Quinn and Tina join 'em, but there's no way in hell they'll invite Rachel. Even if the director is Rachel's mom. We have to win if you want to get the family back together."
"Shut the hell up, Hudson…" I told him. …Evans wouldn't do us in on purpose. Plus, he wants to stay in Lima; and if we lose he has to go back to Kentucky."
Sam seemed to think for a minute. "I wouldn't perform bad just to impress Mercedes. You ought to know me better than that, Finn" He glared at his new housemate. "I got half a mind to beg off the competition, not even gonna lie about that…I'm pretty fucking pissed at all of you."
He looked around the room.
"But Puck's right…If I want 'Cedes back then I have to be in Ohio. And who in the hell knows how long it's gonna take?" He bit his lip. "So I'm gonna bring it at competition, so the girls will all rejoin and we can have a great rest of the year. I just hope we can pull it all off!"
So we went over the choreography again, and picked on Evans some for dancing around in a pair of tight ass red booty shorts. Then me, Mike and Artie went home.
Game day came and we were all nervous as hell. We tried to psych each other up as much as possible, but I could tell everybody missed having Mama and the girls there with us while we got ready. There was a little bit of drama when the TroubleTones showed up backstage looking all kinds of sexy in their silver dresses, because Tana offended a bunch of people by offering to let any of us join if ND lost. But she wasn't being a total bitch, I could tell… it was just a misunderstanding.
There were a bunch of misunderstandings going on to be honest. I found out later that Quinn had threatened to get Shelby fired for fucking me right before we performed. And apparently, Kurt and his boy were having some drama concerning some dude trying to get in Blaine's tighty-witeys. But we put all that shit aside long enough to go cheer the girls on; then we put on our own show. In the end, we won and Shelby left…plus, the girls came back on the promise of one song per competition. So everything worked out in the end.
Chopped and Screwed
You know, one thing that always frustrated my ass about the whole Samcedes relationship, outside of the obvious, is the way those two acted all brand new after they got together. Regardless of whatever their reasons were for keeping the relationship shit a secret, I always thought they went too far when it came to hiding how much they meant to one another. I mean, those two were cool before they hooked up; real cool… Anybody could see that shit. Evans was the one holding up the "Hell No" sign when Mama sang her original song, and they were all about the fist-bumps and high-fives when the girls joined the football team with us. You already know they were in complete agreement about kicking Karofsky's ass right before Satan dumped Evans, and I heard about how Sam straightened right the hell up in his chair when Mama shook her ass singing Tina Turner. They were friends… and acting like strangers all of a sudden was weird as fuck.
Right around the time Sam got back, I started and dwelling on that shit in my spare time… remembering all the occasions where I'd seen the two of 'em acting all close with my own two eyes. And the night after Sectionals –when we all finally left the auditorium following the We Are Young performance- I started having dreams about the shit. Pretty much every time Sam went balls to the wall getting his woo on, my unconscious brain focused on another one of my memories while I slept.
Like for instance, that first night I mentioned. I had seen Trouty sneaking backstage to watch Mama shake her thang in all that silver, and I totally noticed how he couldn't keep his eyes off of her when we all made up and sang…especially when Quinn made a big show out of bringing Jones up onstage and cuddling her ass to death. I went to bed that night and the first image my unconscious brain settled on was Mercedes and Sam, the previous year….wearing their Singing In The Rain/Umbrella costumes. Most of the team probably forgot that those two were dance partners during that shit; since all the water was hella distracting and the umbrellas and slickers distorted everybody so much. Plus, all us guys were hard to tell apart because of the hats or whatever. And all us kids took a backseat to Schuester and Holliday, anyway…them being such ball hogs.
But like I said, Mama and Sam were partners. So the NDs finished the performance and immediately got into a water fight. And it was fun as hell. But at one point somebody –okay, me- got a little crazy bucket-bombing the girls and Mama got splashed square in the face. She didn't trip or whatever…girly actually laughed when she finally opened her eyes back up. But there was a lot of sputtering and shit going on for a second, too. I remembered how Evans had been the one to lead Jones backstage and help her dry off. Then they stayed back there and sat on a sofa to chew the fat while the rest of us kept playing. In my dream, I switched places with Trouty; so while Dream-He had fun in the water and concentrated on putting in some extra face time with Quinn, I was the one helping Jones get dry and hanging out. I felt like she and I had finally become the kind of friends who no longer needed a group around to get along. And it was nice to know Mama trusted me like that…I know wiping water off somebody's face ain't exactly hard to do, but it still qualifies as taking care of 'em! Plus Dream-Me enjoyed the one-on-one time so much he chose to stay back there, instead of trying to get the girls to have a wet tee shirt contest. Making that kinda decision wasn't something a younger Puck would have ever done; and it was a good feeling, up until I woke up. Now I know I was probably just reacting to the dead-ass serious way Evans was coming for Jones; but at the time I didn't realize it and my dream was confusing as fuck. I walked around all kinds of sleepy the whole next day at school.
The next time I had a crazy dream was right after Mama did All I Want For Christmas Is You in the choir room. As always, she laid the song out and did the damn thang. But she also surprised me by flirting with Evans a little bit while she sang the lyrics. I guess in some ways it makes sense to say the shit didn't mean anything…Cause we were all back together, feeling all close for the first time in months. And everybody in the group was happy and getting along good. But that tinsel-looping shit, and all the meaningful-looking eye contact was a little bit extra; especially when you consider that fact that she wasn't doing that shit with anybody else. Evans was eating it up, too; loving every damn minute of attention Mama gave him.
Before that day, I was pretty sure Jones was gonna be real dedicated to ignoring Evans and all his fuckery. Yeah, she may have turned her back and smiled at his antics in the hallway after dude made his big ass declaration. But I know her…she's loyal as hell. To my way of thinking, Sam coming back to McKinley was never gonna be enough to make Mama dog Tinsley; so I figured that grin was all Blondie would ever get on the flirtations front…a cute smirk from halfway down the hall that his ass couldn't even see.
But after Mama mouthed the words to her song right into Evans' face and smirked as he followed her with his eyes in the classroom; I changed my mind. Mama was feeling the attention big-time, I could tell. So my dream that night was all about this other time I'd caught them flirting on the sly.
Again, my memory focused on something that happened Junior year; at Kurt's dad's wedding. Mama and the Fairy had been dancing at the reception following Finn's little love song to him. Sam and Que were sitting together at a table and whispering shit back and forth…probably a chorus of "…you're the most blonde, Babe…" , "…no, Sweetie; you're the blondest!" and "…your eyes are greener than mine, though…", "…that's not true; you have the greenest eyes!" Anyway Quinn loves to dance, and she stood up and demanded that Sam take her for a spin. So they get over to where Kurtcedes was cutting a rug and my Babymama decided to cut in on 'em…probably for some congratulations/wedding etiquette bullshit. Which left Sam and Mercedes there to dance together. I'm just gonna be honest and tell you that those two were fucking adorable, even back then. The bridesmaids dress Mama wore made her skin look sun-kissed, and she had this happy-ass expression all over her face while she giggled and twirled. Sam bent over real low a lot to speak into her ear…more than likely a lame ass impression or a stupid-as-hell joke. And Cedes enjoyed the fuck outta whatever he was saying. He looked pleased to have truly entertained her, and she looked grateful to the dude for paying her some real, honest-to-goodness attention. They danced like that to maybe four different songs that night, and in my dream I replaced Trouty every damn time.
In that particular fantasy, I know Dream-Me was proud as fuck to dance Mama around the reception hall all night long. And he looked right into her eyes whenever those whispered conversations started up. She flirted with me, made me feel comfortable… It was the kind of "dating" situation I actually never really had. My thang with every other girl in my life up until the wedding was casual as hell. I wasn't like Sam and Finn But seeing myself do the romantic lovey-dovey stuff, even in a dream, was kinda refreshing.
In retrospect, it was a pretty hectic week for us Glee kids; we got to be on TV, and I went all kinds of rockabilly with my axe on screen… Then Glee club went to a shelter and put on a show for some poor folks. But the thing I remember most about it was seeing 'Cedes and Sam acting all cutesy. I know now that all the Christmas flirting was what made me remember and dream about the wedding, but again…I hadn't expected to see myself in the starring role.
During the week where our Glee assignment was to pick out a proposal song for Schue and Pillsbury I learned some things. Actually, everybody in the class did…During lunch before Glee class us dudes had cornered Sam and finally made him dish about his summer with Mama. And I know I talk a good game about being the only one Blondie came to when he needed to get shit off his chest back then, but I ain't gonna deny it…I was almost as curious about details as the rest of the motherfuckers. Evans wasn't the type to brag about conquests or whatever, but we all could tell his summer had been awesome. When he laid a few details on the table for us, the shit was all over his face. He talked about how crazy they were about each other and how they got caught making out under the docks at some beach where the two of 'em had vacationed. Bragged about saving her life when she got a cramp swimming….dude even admitted to the two of them saying "I love you." Some of what Sam was spitting was way too fucking perfect-sounding to be 100% true; it was straight out of a rom-com, and the girls told me his story had a few discrepancies compared to Mercedes' version anyway. But underneath all the bullshit I could tell my home-boy was reliving some real sweet memories. Finn even accused his ass of bragging!
Later that day I was coming down the hall and noticed Cedes wiping some slushie out of Evans' eyes. He'd joined the gay swim team or some shit, and some of the hockey team dicks had double slushy-bombed his ass. I felt for him at first, because you know that shit was cold as fuck, and the assholes caught him right in the kisser. But after about thirty seconds of watching Mama baby Evans I changed my mind about the sympathy. Whatever reason Sam had for doing that water ballet shit…he might have been tying to beef up extracurricular so he could get a scholarship one day, or maybe the dude just missed being allowed to work out in the weight room at school. Hell, for all I know Sam did it for the letterman; cause that motherfucker sure as hell wore the thing every damn day. But whatever his reason was, the shit had a mighty good side effect for him on the Cedes front. Mama was actually touching Evans willingly in the hall; for the first time since he'd returned. And I heard her refer to Blondie as a friend when blocking-ass Tinsley showed up to mark his territory. I heard all of it, and in my mind it was a pretty big milestone for the dude.
That night I had another dream, and by that time I was kinda looking forward to it. I liked seeing myself play the role of Evans during a bunch of pre-romantic Samcedes moments. It was like, Puckcedes…the remix! This time my brain chopped and screwed that time when the girls joined the football team so we Titans could compete in the playoff. In real life, what caught my attention was the way those two bonded over Thriller/Heads Will Roll. Neither one had a solo or anything; Artie claimed the MJ song first and who in the hell would cast anybody but Tana's ass as head demon-lady? But Samcedes definitely had a good time helping each other out with the zombie makeup. Posed and took a bunch of pics together afterward and everything. Mama's black lipstick, scars and red wig were kinda hot, in a fucked up way. Although that ugly ass gril was doing way too much… And Trouty's makeup was probably the best in the whole bunch. I honestly couldn't even tell it was him after he went all "Shaun of the Dead" on his own face. On the field during the number those two traded off Artie-wheelchair duty, and I know I caught at him winking at Mama once or twice. Also, at one point during the dance break Sam and Mercedes ended up close together…and I swear he had his hands on her waist. Plus, they were the ones responsible for recording all the shrieks and screams beforehand that were a part of the music we played while we sang…
I dreamt it was me, spending all that time getting the soundtrack right, bonding and making a good team. And it was fun in a way that Junior year Puck never really considered hanging with a girl could be. I guess what I took from that dream was that the best relationships all probably start out uncomplicated, and amusing. I was happy to learn the lesson, even in my sleep. And I know in my heart that the shit was just me reacting to all the TMI and knowing those two were getting closer, but I still woke up all kinds of happy the next day.
Michael Jackson week was probably the most frustrating week of my whole damn life. Not just because my boy Anderson bragged about our set list to the competition, and not just because the damn Garglers were on that sabotage bullshit. My boy redeemed himself by taking a rock-salt slushie for his Boo, anyway. It was mostly frustrating because that was when I found out about 'Cedes cheating on her dude with Sam.
I was in fourth period study hall, carving "Ozzy Rules" into one of the desks with my box cutter…when that dude I always call "Johnny Tromboner" from Jazz Band passed his phone over to me. Us Glee kids had gotten pretty tight with them, ever since they agreed to save our asses at Sectionals. So we all got into the habit of inviting 'em when we went to eat at the Stixx; and anytime one of us has a kick-back at their house we'd let two or three of them know so they could join us. Those dudes saved our asses big-time, and we were all grateful as hell. So I found out, due to the fact me and Johnny take a bunch of classes together, that those Jazz Band chumps got a lot of free entertainment by playing music for the New Directions. Brad too. They were all so damn quiet in the background during rehearsals and shit, that we were always forgetting they were there whenever drama popped off. But every time one of us Glee dudes got a girl alone for a serenade; one of those freaks record the shit. They'd never tell the rest of the school about us…Music types have to stick together at McKinley, and they had way too much loyalty for that shit, anyway. But talk about our asses behind our backs and shit? That was right up Jazz Band alley.
So I take a look at the video John had pulled up on his Droid, right? And it turns out that Sam had taken advantage of that week's lesson so he could go all in on 'Cedes. Pulled out all the big guns…He knows Mama can't resist MJ. I only dated her a week and knew Human Nature was her favorite song… and if she admitted it to me, there's no way in hell Trouty didn't know, too. In the video, Sam tried to talk Jones into singing with him, then she said no and turned tail like a good girl. But Evans started playing that motherfucker anyway. From what I could see…Mama tried her best to resist Blondie's ass, but she was pretty much powerless, considering the circumstances.
She'd turned back around by the time Evans had played three bars on his guitar, singing like hell. They danced together, flirted and shit…and at the end 'ole boy went in for the kill. Mama didn't even play like she wasn't feeling the lip-lock action…even smiled her ass off after that one ended. Then they went in for another smooch and ended up making out with him until the damn bell rung. After I replayed it twice, I looked over at John to see him pretending to wipe sweat off his brow. Instead of just sitting there all open-mouthed and confused, I pumped my fist so he'd think I was proud of my home-boy.
That night as I slept I dreamed about the Rocky Horror play that never happened. No, I wasn't there at the time…I was busy defending my waffles from Juvie punks. But you know Finn sent me pictures, and I'd seen the movie enough times to picture it in my mind. In my vision, I saw myself dressed in the Creature's little ass shorts while Jones performed I Can Make You A Man. I was working out with barbells and shit while Mama -wearing only her lab coat and a sexy smirk- trailed her hands along my ab muscles. And I remember smiling all big and feeling kinda shy about having her hands on me like that. Then I got down to do pushups as she humped the work-horse and acted all suggestive. Which was kind of a relief, since usually people expect me to play the sex-shark. At the end she pushed me up against the wall so she could lay a hot ass kiss on my lips; a kiss I was way past ready to accept and enjoy. I mean, yeah…the shit was so fucking hot I woke up sweaty and horny, but it was also nice to let her take the wheel with me.
I guess I would have known, even without seeing the kiss, that Mercedes and Sam were on the road to reconciliation that week. I mean, there were a lot of really obvious signs. Like when we sang Bad in the Dalton parking lot, Evans was so serious about holding Mama back it wasn't funny. She was gonna lodge her cute little foot all the way up the ass of the dude who tried to take out Hummel, but Sam wouldn't let her…I could tell he thought her anger was hot, though. Shit, I agreed with his ass. And when we sang Black Or White you could tell whole "song-about-interracial-love" was giving 'ole boy life. Whole lot of meaningful expressions and shit being passed back and forth during that number. Not to mention the song Quinn sang and dedicated to me, him and Finn…Sam barely paid Que any attention; he was too busy looking down at Mama and eye-sexing her to death. But the kiss is probably what tipped me over the edge into happy dreamland. At the time, I didn't exactly appreciate the mind-fuck, even though the dream itself was nice...
Crickets…
So Valentine's day was pretty much a hot ass mess, as Mama would say. I guess the whole shit storm started because that tone-deaf Motta girl declared that she was throwing a party. Part of her disease, Fake Ass-pergers or whatever (although at the time I was pretty sure the bitch just had an acute case of Crazy-Ass) is expecting everybody to listen to her when she makes up arbitrary ass rules. Psycho Bitch told everybody that we were all invited to her little train wreck, but we had to bring somebody because single people make her sad. I found out later that she was raised by her Dad alone…her mother died in childbirth. So these days I understand why Sugar wouldn't wanna spend the most romantic day of the year with a bunch of alone and depressed folks. She got enough of that shit at home. But at the time I thought she was doing some matchmaking shit, since 'ole girl used to be pretty fascinated by Brittana's and Samcedes' love drama.
Let me go off on a tangent here and tell you how I came to bring a whole sorority house to the party. So at that point in the year I had been cleaning the indoor pool and hot tubs at Shelby's condo for about three months…even though her ass was long gone. And management at the complex loved me to death. I was cheaper than bigger firms, since I did all the work myself and didn't have to pay anybody other than my "summer interns," i.e. little baby freaks who wanna get laid over the summer and learn from the master. Plus, I was fast…if they called me at 4pm on Thursday night wanting the shit all ready for the weekend, I had them all set before 7pm rolled around. So the big boss –a dude by the name of Larry Jemison- came to me one day and told me his wife needed a pool cleaner.
His wife, Amy, was the house mother for one of the sorority house over at Lima University. Delta Sigma Kinky, as I like to call it, was this sprawling ass converted mansion right outside city limits. They had a huge ass hot tub and an Olympic-sized underground pool. I know what you're thinking…why in the hell would they be using their pool in the dead of winter? Apparently, these chicks liked to throw theme parties and they were all the time trying to top the ones that rival sororities came up with. So I guess in the tradition of "Christmas In July" soirees, these chicks had rented a big ass wedding marquee and were planning to pump hot water in through the jets. Called it "Bathing Outdoors" or whatever. So Amy contacted me to see if I could handle changing the settings on the water pump, I did, and the party came off without a hitch.
Afterward, the girls decided they wanted to keep me coming around to service their shit. Figured nobody got sick with pneumonia the first time around, and they might as well keep the "hot pool" thing going. So I made time every week to come over and handle business. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I also managed to plow through every single girl in the house. It took me about three weeks all told, but I was on a damned mission.
Now that I think about it, I believe I did that shit because of all the different emotions I was feeling about Mercedes…and I guess Sam too. By that time I knew she'd cheated on her man, which meant I was disappointed in Mama. Plus, I was mad at Evans, for leading such a good girl down the garden path. And I was sort of frustrated with my own ass for still pining over somebody who wasn't even thinking about me. Sure, she and I had some moments over the first few months of Senior Year. And it was true that Mama had admitted to me that our friendship was definitely something she treasured…but that's all it was. A friendship. Add in the fact that those two spent the whole week of Spanish Week serenading one another, even though for some reason they weren't even speaking… and I'd had just about enough. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew I didn't want to be sitting around all celibate when Mercedes and Sam got back together again. Hell, for all I knew the cheating had already progressed to elicit fucking sessions…so I indulged my ass in a few of my own.
I mowed through that house like a champ; every chick in that bitch was DTF. And made sure to give 'em exactly what a horny coed needed. They were all cute as fuck, and I really had a hard ass time deciding which one I liked the best. Too many different kinds of cute to compare, you dig? And I was all about sampling the different flavors. I used the word "sample," because I only banged a couple of them more than once…the rest were all one hitter then quitters. And I'm gonna go on and admit that the ones I bedded two times or more, were the ones who reminded me of Mama.
Like this one chick named Lacey; a white girl, really short. Compared to her sisters, I guess she could be considered on the bigger side….think about the difference between Berry and Cohen-Chang. One's tiny and completely devoid of booty and tit meat. The other one has everything exactly where it's supposed to be; so she looks bigger by comparison. Lacey was most definitely a hottie with a nice-ass body. What reminded me of Mercedes wasn't her body type though…See, the first time I came to the house to inspect the pump system I had to take a leak. So Amy pointed me in the direction of the first floor bathroom. It was locked, so I knocked and waited for a second or two outside the door. Then I heard somebody inside singing her ass off. Some Adele song. When the girl taking blowing on that shit came out and realized she had an audience, she blushed.
That cute blush face was a lot like Mama's, and reminded me of when Jones goes all shy and shit. So I laid down the charm long enough to take her for a few rides.
And there was also this Black girl named Anna. She was fine, too…even though she looked like the majority of the sorority sisters. 'Ole girl was tall, had long straight hair, wore tight tee shirts, and her body type was tiny with a boob job. During my second visit to the house, she came out to offer me a drink. Made a joke about whether I preferred iced or hot tea, since it was so fucking cold. Flirtation is pretty much second nature to me, and I jokingly asked her if she wanted to take a dip with me in the freezing-ass pool. She took one look at my breath, which was visible in the frost, and said "Hell-To-The-Naw." Which made me wanna take her for three or four spins.
The rest of em, like I said, each only got one turn on the 'Zilla-go-round. And that was the way I liked it. By the time Sugar insisted all us NDs bring a hookup, though, I couldn't decided which one to bring. Arm candy is one of the cornerstones of having a good time at a party; everybody knows that shit. So I just put the shit in their corner by asking all the girls at the same time in the den of the house... them duke it out. When I asked, "Which one of you wants to go?" They all said –in unison, I might add- "We will!" So I took all thirteen of 'em.
So Motta made her big announcement, Sam and Mercedes looked at each other like couple of hungry motherfuckers, then everybody started planning their big "love numbers." I didn't have anybody to sing to, and technically, neither did Evans. But we both agreed to help Artie turn his swag on for Sugar, then spent the rest of the class period watching all the couples go crazy over each other.
That week, I noticed a lot of things going on between Evans and Jones that I wasn't digging at all. I heard Sam mumbling between classes about needing to go home and work on his gift for Mercedes. I saw her sidle up to him at his locker to flirt while they pretended to inspect his chapstick collection. I noticed the way he gestured to her during Artie's big number. Plus those two had resurrected the Celibacy Club and renamed it Teens for Jesus or some shit, and they were going around singing songs to people for a fundraiser. I was floored by the look of pure adoration in Mama's face when Trouty started rapping during Stereo Hearts. So I figured Shane was gonna be getting a kiss-goodbye as his big holiday gift, and that Sam would finally get all the lovin' he'd been missing soon.
I was only half right. Mama did break up with Shane…she did it at school and the whole team caught him crying about it in the locker room right before off-season workout. Nobody fucked with him though…I mean, would you?
And she did sing a love song for Sam in Glee. But the song, the one Whitney Houston sang in The Bodyguard movie, was a big ass kiss-off. I'm not exactly sure what got into Mama and made her feel like she owed it to herself to be single and let Sam down. If I had to guess though, I'd say somebody in that God Squad said something to her and made her feel hella guilty. I didn't know much about that dreadlock dude at the time, but my money was on Quinn. That's the type of judgment you can always count on her ass for. I already told you I didn't like how all that cheating shit went down, either…but I'd have never said it to Mama's face. Even I ain't a big enough prick to make Jones cry.
So Mercedes sang her song…tears streaming down her cheeks. Sam sat right up front looking like somebody had crushed his nuts and poisoned his dog. The girls in the class (and Kurt) were practically falling on the floor boo-hooing, and us dudes were scared to look at each other just in case the shit was catching. Evans ran outside like his dick was on fire, and nobody was man enough to go catch up to his ass. I think if Mama had sang the country version of that song he might have slit his damn wrists. All in all, every fucking Glee kid went home that afternoon drained and depressed.
Later on was the party, and it was a pretty good indication of what came next. Sam and Mercedes didn't say shit to each other the whole night. Even during the song the God Squad sang for the lezzers. For the next few weeks, all I heard from those two were crickets…
I have to admit that seeing Mama do what she knew was right instead of what she wanted to do was something I appreciated. Made me forget how disappointed in her I was and try to focus on supporting her ass over the next few weeks. Like when Karofsky was getting bullied for being on the down low and tried to off himself. Now to my way of thinking, that dude was a straight up pussy for attempting to go out like that. After all the bullshit he was good for putting other motherfuckers through? He should have just chalked that shit up to Karma and came back to McKinley so he and Kurt could battle it out together. Or maybe Dalton…they had that policy over there for no bullying. Dave could-a learned a thing or three about being a decent human for once. But that fool thought hanging himself in a closet was a better game plan.
I caught Mama after her God Squad meeting, sitting in the classroom, while Trouty, Dread-head, and Quinn talked outside the door about a fruit basket. She was crying her ass off and watching Evans through the door-window.
"You doin' okay, Mama?" I asked as I came through the door.
She grinned though her tears briefly. "Yeah…I'm alright Puck."
"Thinking about Karofsky?"
"I guess…" Mama took a deep breath before asking me a question. "…Puck, did you ever hate Dave?"
I thought about it for a minute before answering truthfully. "Yeah. I did…We were tight for a long-ass time, and he turned on me when I joined Glee. Can't forget that shit if I tried."
"Me, too. I hated him too." She nodded. "Is it wrong, even though I know he was so horrible because he was hurting…that I kind of hate him worse, now?"
I pulled a chair up so I could let her cry into my chest. "What do you mean?"
"It's just…" Mama sniffed. "…Karofsky bullied Kurt so bad he left McKinley. But Kurt never tried to kill himself! Quinn just said that he was selfish for doing what he did…and I hate to admit it but I agree with her…"
"Go on," I probed.
"And now I know Dave did all of that because he liked Kurt. Kurt actually felt responsible for this…"
I shot her a surprised look. Then I thought about what I knew about Dave for most of my life and it made sense.
"… I guess I just hate being reminded of how easy how easy it is to hurt somebody out of love…"
"Like you and Shane?" I guessed.
"Like me and Shane," she confirmed.
"Okay, Mama. Couple-a things you need to hear right now…" I started. She straigtend up to listen. "First of all, Karofsky's a punk. I've watched that closet-case go off on gay kids ever since freshman year; making all their lives a living hell. And as close as we used to be, I never once suspected he was about the booty-sex."
Mama glared at me for being all graphic, and I responded with a Kanye shrug…cuz, I'm all about telling it like it is.
"But if what you say is true, then he's known this about himself for a minute and just didn't wanna deal. That's probably how come he ended up hurting Kurt. You let shit like that fester, and eventually start hating yourself. Instead of just dealing with it, the dude decided to take everything out on the only guy he knew that was just like him. So 'selfish' aint a big enough word for his ass…"
Mama smiled.
"Add that to the fact that he shoulda been joining Glee instead of harassing the hell out of us, since we're the only club in school that gives zero fucks about motherfuckers' sexuality…"
"True."
"...And in a way, what you're feeling is the same as Dave. You hated being in love with Evans while still hooked up with Tinsley. And you let the shit fester too, instead of addressing it like you should have. What you're reacting to here, is the fact that your own shit ended up almost as bad as his."
"You think so?"
"I know so," I let her know. "I cheated too, remember? All the MILFs, and Quinn back when she was with Finn?"
Mama cuddled into me more and sniffled.
"But the thing is, Mama…" I continued. "…you can fix all of your shit. You're already better than Karofsky is... You already admitted to doing everybody dirty. Already took the blame for it. So when you get over your own guilt, you'll be able to really sympathize and maybe figure out a way to help Dave. Just give it some time."
"How in the hell do you know me so well, Puck" Mama joked while wiping her tears away.
I grabbed her tissue and did it for her, and answered, "You mad?"
"Nah…" she giggled. "…actually, I'm grateful." We stood up and she hugged me again, then I led Mama to her next class.
After Regionals, where we totally kicked ass…I made it a point to come up to Jones and let her know how much she fucking rocked with the TroubleTones singing. Now, I ain't gonna lie…I did NOT like the dresses the girls had on. They looked totally homemade, and didn't fit as well as the shit they used to wear when Shelby was around. But Mama's voice was the business and those dance moves made every motherfucker who ever thought she couldn't move eat their motherfucking words. At the time, I'd seen her gazing all longingly at Sam, while he stood next to Quinn, talking. And I could see how jealous the shit was making her. I figured few compliments would pick her up.
And when we were all at the hospital waiting room after the wedding that never happened, I made sure to comfort Mama about Quinn. I knew this shit was reminding Jones of all that time she spent taking care of Que Sophomore year. She was probably terrified that the girl would die or something. Seriously, I had the same thoughts…but I pushed that shit aside because this is Queen Quinn we're talking about. Sheer force of stubborn-ass will had gotten this chick every damn thing she ever wanted in life. I honestly saw no reason this would be different. So I told Mama that and she seemed grateful as shit. At one point she went to he hospital chapel to pray for her former sister, but came right the hell out when Trouty showed up to do the same thing. I knew, aside from Satan and possibly Britt, that nobody in the club would feel the pain of Quinn's condition more than Mercedes. So I let her hold my hand while she prayed in the hallway. I was glad I could help her.
I guess all the talking to God musta helped. Quinn was paralyzed, but alive. She came back to Glee making jokes about me and singing about standing up again. And I knew she would be alright. Even sat in during booty camp and laughed her ass off when Sylvester made fun of Sam and Mercedes for all their non-speaking ass eye-sex.
Around that time I had my big idea to come to LA. Partly because Anderson's big bro was home and talking about his life on the West Coat. And partly because I wanted to get as far the hell away from Lima as I could after graduation. Since I was pretty sure I'd be the only one moving so far away, I tried to convince Finn to come with me. The almost-wedding was a pretty good omen to me; I felt like he needed to rebuke Berry's ass as soon as possible. But he turned me down. Later on the same day, though I heard Mama talking about moving to Cali, too. That was when I approached her about being my roomie. So all in all, the break Samcedes was taking ultimately worked out in my favor. If she hadn't instigated their little silent period, I never would have felt comfortable asking. Which is pretty good evidence that a little break never hurt anyone.
Say What?
Damn that asshole Trouty Mouth.
I'm totally fucking serious. That dude never fucking quits. Here I was, expecting for graduation to come and go….with the two of them agreeing to part as friends. But that guy never once gave up on Cedes, and it finally paid off. In light of my own feelings, I probably should have admired his tenacity or whatever. But I swear, sometimes I get so mad about the way he continued to hound Mama I could spit fucking bullets.
First off, there was the disco dance contest that Schuester and Sylvester dreamed up. Despite the fact that I hate disco, I honestly like the movie everybody was yammering about. All night parties, drugs, car-sex, and character death? I was all about that life. And I was kinda impressed that Blaine was actually gay enough to own a fucking disco ball to bring in for us to use. But the way Evans made it his business to dance as close to Mama as he could during the big finish... torture, plain and simple. And that body roll he won't let go of made my eyes roll…At least my pelvic thrust move is sexy.
Then after the finalists got their assignment and Mama did Disco Inferno for the class 'ole dude was coming off super creepy.
Like, I get it…Jones came out all sexy in a gorgeous red dress, and made that song her bitch. Britt and Satan wore their Cheerio uniforms, so it was obvious that Mercedes was supposed to be the focal point or whatever. But it was weird as fuck how Sam, who was sitting right beside me, pulled out his cell phone to record that shit…It was something I'd never seen anybody in Glee do before then. If I hadn't known Trouty well enough to call him an internet whore, I'd have snatched his phone outta his hand and erased the footage of Mama's performance. Because for real, taping your ex and keeping it around for some spank bank action was a fucked up thing to do. But this was Evans, and like I said…that dude lives for fucking status updates. He tweets all day, and is real good for getting shit like "Mercedes Jones smells good" trending. Even when Jones had a man he was all the time posting sappy shit on Facebook and tagging her ass in it. So in the back of my mind I sort of figure the guy was just so glad to have a phone with internet access again that he couldn't get enough.
After I thought about it for a second or two I figured Evans was recording the song for his "Summer Girl" channel on YouTube. So I let it slide. But then he threw Mama all these deep looks from across the room when Santana sang her song for Britt, trying to seduce her with his eyes and shit.
That was the week Mama and Hummel met their love-child Unique. It was also when Kurt managed to figure out a way to make up for ignoring Mama all summer. And he did it by helping Evans get his girl back.
See, Trouty posted Jones' video online. And she got a buncha love from all the disco-freaks on YouTube who watched and raved her performance. Hummel knew about it before Mercedes did, because Sam used his laptop to upload it. Then Hummel got out of the way so Blondie could show Mercedes and go in for the kill. When Finn told me about it I was happy my girl was feeling so supported and shit, but scared as hell it would fuck up our plans for LA. By that time Hudson had come up with his own plan for after high school and had no intentions of going anywhere near California. So I was frustrated on top of being jealous as hell. In the end it all worked out; otherwise, I wouldn't be here with her now.
But I had to wonder, in light of all the bullshit I had to go through before graduation finally got here…why does every thing in my life have to be so fucking difficult?
A/N: Yay! One more chapter before the big Samcedes breakup!
Okay, that was mean…but it's true though.
Chapter 14 will conclude the S3 portions, then chapter 15 will be the turning point. I'm so exited.
Thanks to all the loyal readers, followers, favorite-ers and reviewers. I need y'all's love to get this stuff outta my head, so I owe you guys the most.
Update shouldn't be too long…