A/N: This is my last S3-compliant chapter. It sums up all the things that happened after Sam and Mercedes reunited, and refer to everything up until the events of Chapter 1. After this, nothing is a flashback...and most of it is my imagination lol.

I hope you like it!

Special thanks go out to Annikay, for reading and reviewing so fast. Girl, you rock!

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.

Regrets

You probably think that my reaction to Sam and Mercedes getting back together pretty much just me being a hater, don't you? Well, let me be the first to say, that it wasn't; at least, it wasn't all about me being a hater. I mean, yeah I didn't exactly enjoy the fact that the dude was better than me at letting his feelings be known, and I totally didn't appreciate the way Trouty pretty much left Lil Mama with zero choice about whether or not she'd get back with him, either. But all the fucked up feelings I was having were also due, at least in part, to 'ole dude making me feel stupid hell. So a huge portion of my issues was frustration.

I mean, it was just so damn typical: my ass was always getting with girls on a whim; and I stayed hooking up with chicks based on momentary notions and shit. I never ever gave myself way too much time to consider how much I liked one beforehand. Think about it: me fucking Quinn, me hooking up with MILFs, me getting together with Zizes…even doing the chicks in that sorority. All of that shit happened because the idea just popped into my head one day. But the very first time in my life that I actually give some real thought to whether or not I dig a girl for real? Another dude jumps on it before I can, and I end up feeling like a pussy.

I mean, I could have put Mama's name up in lights…that kinda shit was guaranteed to get a girl to throw her panties at a guy. Eventually, I bet I would have. And I could have done that YouTube shit too; because prior to Trouty and his "Mercedes Inferno" video I was forever putting videos of chicks fighting over me on that bitch. And Trouty going in for a smooch while Mama was all swoony over his romantic-ass gesture? I could have could have eventually come up with that shit…if you'll remember, I was the player that got a V-day date with Zizes by proposing with a damn Ring Pop. But I didn't, and he did.

I don't even think Sam beat me to the punch because he was any more into her than I was. I honestly think I was deep in love with Mama back then; despite the fact that I never admitted it to myself until we became roomies. But I never was the type to try and problem-solve. I been good at letting shit stick to the pan my whole life. Case in point: when Finn and Rachel made their big announcement right before Valentine's Day about getting married; I didn't go off like Kurt and Quinn. I didn't start any shit about how young they were or how stupid getting married would be. Even though at the time I was silently praying Finn would take his balls back from Berry, dump her ass, and get Mama to drop-kick her somewhere before Prom rolled around. But I just focused on the happy part of their announcement; the baby I figured 'ole Streisand was baking. Made up my mind to be the best Uncle Puck a kid ever had. That's just my nature; and I'm like, the complete and total opposite of Evans. So while Sam was spending six whole months in Kentucky planning ways to woo Mama back, I was ignoring my feelings. And while he lost zero time in implementing the shit with the quickness, I was twiddling my thumbs. So I missed out on all my chances…

WTH?

After Sam and Mercedes finally faced off, I was kinda confused for a few weeks. It was a time of complete and total dead-ass air between those two, and I didn't get it. They weren't talking, or even looking at each other all that much…even though I know damn well Mercedes wouldn't have kissed Evans in that classroom if she wasn't ready to get back together with him. For all I know, they planned that shit on purpose; sort of like a re-boot on those days before people found out they were together. But I know for a damn fact that Sam was frustrated as hell by it.

Take, for instance, that week where we all sang Whitney Houston songs. Now, I know in my heart that Schuester probably planned and assigned that shit as a way of kissing the girls' asses. And if I'm being perfectly honest, he probably wanted to toss out an olive branch in Mama's direction, specifically. The girls -mostly the TroubleTones girls, actually- were really going off on a tangent about their idol. They walked the halls singing her songs, had big ass shrines and pictures put up in their lockers…and I swear on my Moms a couple of 'em were dressing like her; at least Hummel was. So the fact that they were hurting was real obvious. When Schuester came into class and told everybody we were using Ms. Houston as inspiration for our lesson, you could see the joy all over Mama's face. That is, you could see joy up until it got replaced with pissed-off-itude. Sam said some shit about Whitney being a bad influence, and I swear I thought Jones was gonna step to him. And those were the only words I saw those two even share during that time; so maybe he just did it to make sure Mama's ass was still living and breathing.

Now that I think about it that was a pretty damn crazy week anyway. I mean, Jones might have been going off the rails a little bit even if Sam hadn't been on her nerves. Because motherfuckers who have no damn business signing shit by Ms. Houston were doing the absolute most in choir class. Britts, Rachel, Blaine…all their asses were in there fucking up some of Mercedes' favorite songs. There was some kinda drama going on between Kurt and his boy, too; it got so bad they were shouting about their drama all in class. I personally didn't have much of an opinion on it, outside of side-eying everybody who mean-mugged Hummel while Anderson sang that song about cheating. Say what you want to about my past…but I wasn't the only former cheater in the room; so everybody throwing the dude all that stank eye was a gotdamn hypocrite. And any drama involving Kurt is always gonna be good for making Mama a little nutty.

Also, everybody in class was jawing about Sam bragging to Teen Jesus about losing his cherry in Kentucky. So that could have played a part in the dead-air days, too. I don't know who in the hell that dude thought he was fooling with that shit…anybody with eyes could tell Jones was the one to pop that cork. But if hearing about it pissed me off, it had to have had Mercedes out for blood. That's why I'm so sure all the shade I saw her throw with her eyes that week wasn't about just about the fucked up performances; some of it was a result of her drama with Evans. In the end, we all got through the shit together, as a family. Mama and Artie laid dropped the bomb on that song they sang together in the auditorium after school…I had trouble averting my eyes because she was wearing the shit out of that leopard print skirt. And it looked like I wasn't the only Glee member going all Lifetime Movie Network in the clique…seemed like Que had made some headway towards trapping Teen Jesus under her spell, and Rachel and Santana looked mighty friendly too. But still…Sam and Mercedes weren't speaking and it confused my ass.

The next week was the same, too. Not much going on with those two as far as I could see. Obviously, I had my own shit to think about; it was the week of semester exams, and any seniors who'd found themselves on the verge of not passing needed to get decent grades on 'em in order to graduate. And I was one of them. But in my mind, I honestly didn't have too much to worry about. I was taking a bunch of shop classes…auto, wood, metal; that kinda shit. And I knew I was getting out of those bitches. The only course I was taking that might have had any impact on whether I graduated or quituated was European geography. And I had a plan for that one.

See, Ms. Collins, my teacher was recently divorced at the time. And through my dealings with various desperate housewives around Lima, I knew a woman in her shoes was real likely to be lonely. So I figured if I showed Collins some attention, she might actually pass me out of gratitude. So I went in her classroom a couple of days before the test, and laid on the charm. Turns out, Collins is a little more scrupulous than Corcoran was. Even after I put my lips on her BenGay-smelling neck, she wasn't hearing me out. Had the nerve to tell me she didn't give a fuck about my class standing, because my ass was lazy, not stupid. In a way, it was flattering. But still…that conversation was a damn wake up call for yours truly.

So I got my bad news, and walked around in a funk…I know for a fact that my boy Finn could see something was wrong, but I tuned out all his attempts to pick my brain. And I made tentative plans to just jet…get the fuck outta town before my fucking report card showed up in the mail with a big-ass FAIL stamped to the front of the envelope. But you wanna know what convinced me to try and see if I could pass the shit legitimately? My Pops showing up.

That's right…old Biological Didn't Bother came around while I was finishing up my last pool cleaning job, on the day I was planning on getting ghost. And what I saw in him scared me fucking shitless. I mean, what kinda grown-ass man doesn't have $500 for his rent? I was a damn teenager and I had over $6,000 collecting interest in the bank. Because I worked hard for it. Sure, I let him think I was as sheisty as he was…didn't let on that I was working with a few stacks or whatever. Because I know his ass…telling him I'd been saving up for a rainy day was like telling a crackhead you had a rock collecting dust under your pillow. He'd done enough research on me to know I was still cleaning pools, and even where my last gig was! Ain't no way in hell Pops didn't know I had some money. So I told a half-truth. But his showing up was all the motivation I needed to try and get out of Lima once and for all. For no other reason than to not end up like him.

Finn and Sam were really great about rallying the troupes for me. They didn't have to do the shit…Hudson already passed all his classes, and Sam wasn't even a senior. They pulled our genius bros, Artie and Mike, into it and even the newbie chumps. In the end though it wasn't enough. I didn't pass. In fact, I got a fucking F… I choked on that bitch like a motherfucker. And I was pissed.

Getting Help

I was still pissed, actually, when Schuester informed Glee Club that we'd be performing again at Prom. It was too fucking much. I mean, there was Sam and Mercedes sitting together, for the first time all damn year long…which I wasn't really ready to see. Then there was Rachel, all shrouded in self-pity because she choked on some big audition for a gay arts school. Quinn was running/rolling around like her usual manipulative self using a combination of mock-humility, flattery, and guilt so folks would vote her ass Prom. Queen, and Britt was going the hell off on some inexplicable dinosaur tangent. It was a weird week

So I agreed to participate in Berry's Anti-Prom shit, since I was feeling Anti-everything right about then anyway. I figured it had to be better than going to the Prom and watching all our friends be happy about their futures and seeing Samcedes getting down together…I was wrong though. It was worse. First of all, I was the only motherfucker there who showed up ready to party.

Well…Becky brought condoms, too. But that's just how she is... a fucking hot ass mess.

Anyway, I had a case of beer, and all of my pissed off feelings to drown. All the rest of the party-goers had to do to help me out of my funk was help me drink it and give me something to laugh at; which they DID. NOT. DO!

Berry kept trying to get people to beg her to try on her Prom gown, The HomoBoys wouldn't shut up talking about Anderson's hair issues, and spent hours watching every damn stereotypical gay show the Ovary Network had to offer. Nobody would even drink with my ass except Becks. As a matter of fact, she was the only fucking cool person at the Red Rooster that night besides me. Becks ain't shit but a damn sex shark with an extra chromosome. Talked me into playing strip poker and almost got to see me bare-ass-naked. And she's cool as hell…only brought up all her hurt feelings and shit after the touchy-feely crew left, and I listened to her because I could tell she was in pain. I thought my ass was gutted when I got there for the party, but listening to Becks talk about wanting to get stared at for being Queen -as opposed to being different- made me sick. So I put all my shit to the side, and escorted my Anti-Prom Queen to the dance.

I was glad I went, in the end. I got to spike the punch; handing off a glass of my booze to my better half. Even managed to miss the big 1D tribute by the Glee boys, where I'm about 96% sure Sam gestured toward his girlfriend from the stage. I definitely didn't need to see that shit. But I was there when Rachel got crowned, and got to see Quinn stand up; so all in all Prom wasn't exactly a huge bust.

The next week we were preparing for Nationals hardcore…it was the first time I ever saw New Directions actually come up with a set list in advance, to be honest. We were rehearsing all our songs, costumes were already being sewn; eye of the tiger, all the way. The only reason I hadn't posted up in my room and refused to come out was because I was looking forward to winning in Chicago. I figured even if I spent another year at McKinley, I'd be a lot better off doing it as a champ… so I focused on that shit, and it helped. I pretty much ignored all the drama Cohen-Chang kicked up about wanting a solo at competition, except to side-eye Mike a little…because I felt like he had no place to chastise his girlfriend for wanting some of the spotlight. But aside from that I just kept my mind on helping the team. It's why I borrowed my mom's favorite dress and stole my Nana's everyday wig, then got Mama to lend me a lipstick right before class. Hell, we needed a tranny to compete with Unique, and Hummel wasn't chasing the stick! So I manned up; or rather, womaned up.

In hindsight, I probably should have let Mama do all my makeup and asked her or Tana for help with a better way of getting some fake hair. Because the only reason Schuester wouldn't let me go on as Lola is because I was too ugly. But I tried, and was proud of myself up until Rick the Dick fronted on me for doing what a dude had to do for his team.

Mullet-Dick tried his best to get my goat in the hallway; calling me out for not graduating, bragging about his acceptance to OSU, and making me feel like a complete and total loser. When we threw down, he added insult to injury by getting in a bunch of lucky shots and beating my ass…I ended up in the dumpster for the second time in my whole high school career. I swear, that was my rock bottom…no doubt about that one. But if I hadn't pulled that fake knife on Nelson, Beiste may have never intervened; so in a way it was probably the smartest dumb thing I ever did.

I suppose you probably think singing with Beiste was what got my head on straight, right? Like, hugging her and trying to show her some comfort while she did the same for me was what boosted me up enough to get my head in the game and pass the test…It helped, no doubt about it. Plus, she was the one who convinced Collins to let me retake it. But it wasn't what really gave me the strength to press on. That was Mama.

See, right after Beiste and I laid that T-Swizzle song out in the auditorium and she told me I had a chance to try and do better on my Geography exam, I went home. Still dejected, still feeling like shit. But I made up my mind to call Mama and tell her I wasn't coming to LA. I'd pretty much decided that Lima Loserhood was gonna be my destiny, and was even debating on whether or not I'd go apply for a job at the new Circle K they were building in the Adjacent. I owed it to Mama to let her know though, so she'd stop making plans with me in mind. It was the hardest phone call I ever had to make.

"Hello?" Jones answered the phone after I finally got up the nerve to dial her number. "That you Puck? Are you on the line or is this a butt-call?"

A laughed a little. "I'm here, Mama…you gotta minute?"

"Sure," I heard box springs rustling in the background like she was climbing onto her bed. "What up, roomie?"

"Actually," I sighed. "That's what I was calling you about. I don't think I can go to LA with you."

"What do you mean you can't go to LA?" she asked shrewdly, "Is this about graduation?"

"Yeah, it is," I replied. "So, I'm not going…"

"Well, would you mind explaining to me what one thing has to do with the other?" she asked in this fake-sweet voice that sent chills of terror up my spine. "Because to my knowledge, a person doesn't necessarily need a high school diploma to be a bomb-ass pool cleaner…not to downplay your struggle or whatever; but you've been doing it for years now and you haven't exactly needed that particular piece of paper to be good at it."

"I know that, Mama, but now I'm just not feeling making such a big move…" I admitted. "…I can stick close to here and keep doing what I've been doing. Maybe get my own place or something."

"You already have an apartment, Puck…" Mercedes still sounded way too nice, and I could tell she was getting mad as hell. "…with me; in Los Angeles."

"That's not gonna happen, now…" I shook my head even though she wasn't in the room with me to see it. "…So I'm sorry; but trust me, you'll get over it." I made like I was gonna say goodbye, but was interrupted by that scary-ass voice.

"Yes it is, Noah," she replied, way to syrupy for my comfort. "You're going to drive your pickup truck across the country; hauling your bed and dresser in the back. You're going to accept the key to the two bedroom condo I researched and found online –the condo I just convinced my Daddy to put a big-ass down payment on to hold, by the way…"

She wasn't sounding so sweet by that point. Just straight-up pissed.

"…you're going to live with me, and be my family away from Lima; and you're going to do it whether or not you graduate from high school beforehand!" Mama was obviously speaking through gritted teeth, and I could tell she expected to be obeyed. It was kinda hot.

"Dammit Mama," I raised my voice in order to stifle that thought. "Can you just shut up talking for a second? I get that the shit might be an inconvenience to you or whatever…and I'm sorry for coming at you out of the blue like this…"

I really was.

"…but you can't just order my ass to do something, and expect me to just roll over," I went on. "I'm a goddamn grown-ass man, and…"

"No, you shut the fuck up," Mama growled. "Do you really think I give a shit about the inconvenience? For that matter, do you actually think I don't see what this is all about? You're all butt-hurt, and want to wallow about not graduating with everybody else. But I'm not gonna let you!"

"Mama," I started.

"I said, shut your mouth!" Mama continued. "You've been in my damn corner all year long and I'm grateful, okay? I owe you some of the same brand of friendship you been dishing out for me. So I'm putting my foot down. If you're really that stuck on wanting to graduate –which I totally admire and completely understand, by the way- then I'll help you get one when we get to Cali." She wasn't sounding as angry with me anymore, but the chick was still serious as a heart attack.

"How in the hell you gonna do that?" I still wasn't sold, but was getting curious and wanted to know. "Not that you've changed my mind, but how?"

"I don't know!" Mama spat out. "Whatever I have to do…I can take you to sign up for GED classes, and I can go with you to them if you need me to hold your hand," Jones continued. "Hell, if you're still all scared when the test comes up, I'll take that bitch for you and sign 'Noah Puckerman' to the top of the paper. I honestly don't care…as long as you come along with me."

I chuckled. That was the turning point where I made up my mind to give my girl her way.

"My point is, that you shouldn't let this minor setback derail your plans," Mama concluded, before correcting herself. "I mean, our plans…"

"You'd do that shit for me, Jones?" I asked; flattered and a little more turned on. "You'd let Bad-Girl 'Cedes out just to make me happy?"

Mama sighed a little on the line with relief and I could hear the smile in he voice. "Boy, you have absolutely no clue how ride or die I can get for my friends…"

Which was a damn lie; because I most definitely did know.

"…besides," Mama joked. "You were my first Boo ever…I can't have you staying in Lima like a chump. That shit would reflect badly on my ass! So I got you… We'll be Bonnie and Clyde…"

"I believe you Mama," I let her know. "And I'm convinced…Thank you."

"No prob, Bob," she replied, before telling me goodnight and hanging up the phone.

Head In The Game

That was actually the night before we left for Nationals in Chicago, and I went into it with my head in the game and a heart full of fucking hope. I'm not sure why, but it was almost like I believed that us winning at competition would translate somehow to my passing the test. So I was determined to make a great showing. I was surrounded by folks who'd encouraged me…some of whom helped more than others; and seeing them all there focused on a common purpose was good for me. Coach Beiste sat up front with the other adults, and she gave me the thumbs-up more than once. All my boys were sitting around me, encouraging me not to stop plowing through the material. The girls all reached out to hold my hand whenever I got confused, and Mama fist-bumped me every time I looked back at she and Sam sitting together. I spent that long-ass bus ride studying my ass off.

Once we got to Chicago, drama reared its ugly head; and let's face it…we wouldn't be ND if it hadn't. Mama got sick during rehearsal again, and had to lay down. Trouty was all mad that Sue wouldn't let him in her room to console his girl, and went off on me for no damn reason. Plus, if I'm not mistaken the Beiste was going through something with Cooter…he was calling her a lot, and she cried whenever she thought nobody was looking. But in the end, we got it together.

As a family, we watched Unique and Vocal Adrenaline perform their show. VA assholes always bring it, and this time was no different. They had more complicated dance numbers than we did; and in my opinion, they sang better songs…but they performed like it was a job. Or just another class to pass in school. But Us NDs? We laughed on that stage, and enjoyed ourselves like a bunch of kids playing hide-and-go-get-it after dark. And it showed. I think it's why we won.

Winning was great for every one of us in some way or another. I told you already that my superstitious ass was counting on the "W" as a talisman or some shit for my test. Winning won Finn a bet he had with Dick/Rick…I played enforcer when Hudson went to collect his money. Coach Sue got to keep her Cheerios, since whether or not Figgins gave the job to Coach Roz depended on how we did. And according to Hudson, our victory got Schuester laid. So all our work paid off.

We had a huge party in the choir room after the school congratulated us, and it was awesome. I saw a lot of couples kissing, that's for damn sure…Brittana kissed each other, and Artie's ass too. Made me wonder. And that Sugar girl was all over her boy Rory like white on rice. You already know Finchel showed their asses getting all friendly, and even Kurt and his Boo gave up a little PDA. The only couple in the room who didn't go there was Sam and Mercedes, but they didn't have to; I saw 'em sneak out halfway though the party to go find some privacy. But I was happy for them, and happy for me. It was a great day.

Later on, we all put our performance clothes back on to present Schuester with the Teacher of the Year award, then we all got ready for the school year to end. Mr. Schue assigned us the task of singing songs to say goodbye, and everybody tried their damndest to make me sob and cry that whole week. Kurt dedicated his number to all us straight boys for accepting him into the clique, and the underclassmen sang us all a song that made us all regret being born before they were. Us seniors tried to embrace the assignment in a fun way, and sang something actually upbeat…but in the end, we all knew shit was gonna change way too much to be completely happy.

I spent most of those few days before graduation cramming with Quinn; who'd been acting a little different since Prom. She helped me more than anybody else; and she did it by making sure to do way more than just study with me. Que reminded me of how selfish we both had been when high school started. How much of an ass I'd been, as well as how big of a bitch she was. We both agreed that being in Glee turned us both into better people, and that we owed Finn a huge-ass thank you for doing the shit first. Neither one of us regretted for a second doing what we did to make Beth, and she and I kind of accepted once and for all that it made sense for us to get over this last hump together…after all, we'd kinda come full circle. Que and I were a team again; this time a good one. So she kissed me in the name of teamwork, which was exactly the right thing to do; it gave me this awesome shot of confidence I needed to make that test my bitch. I passed, and ended up graduating on time.

We seniors all had one last class get-together Mama's house the day after graduation, and everybody congratulated the hell out of each other. Then we all spent the summer being kids for the last time ever. The thing I remember most about the summer though, was how close 'Cedes and I managed to get. And her being back together with Trouty wasn't even a problem. Because she and I talked a lot about their relationship…same as the one before, except this time I got all the deets from Mama.

We'd get together and discuss the logistics of our big move or whatever once or twice a week. But we also talked about what we were doing for the summer. I just worked. Talked to Beth on Skype every few days, too. But Mama and Trouty were having a blast…and she let me know what all they were up to. They threw a big party at Mama's house in the beginning of June which I attended. And this one time Jones and Cohen-Chang came over to get a bottle of tequila from me to take on a road trip they were going on with their dudes. Mama and Evans and their families went on a bunch of family-type vacations together, and she even mentioned once or twice that they were kinda talking about marriage some day in the far-off future. It was a happy time for Samcedes, and even though it made me jealous I was happy for her…Even though Evans' own jealousy made several appearances, too.

I'm not gonna try and insinuate that Trouty was controlling or whatever towards his girl; but Evans really couldn't stand it when Mama came over to my place to discuss our move. He was always with her, always narrowed his eyes whenever she and I hugged or slapped palms. And he'd clear his throat all loud and shit every time Mama showed me printouts of the furniture or decorations she was buying for her room. It was almost like Trouty didn't want me knowing what the hell Jones was gonna be sleeping on. When we made the decision to go half on all the towels and pots and pans and shit, Trouty argued; asking "Well what if one of you guys move out early?" like an asshole. And he always came up with excuses as to why Mama and I had to cut our little pow-wows short. The shit happened every damn time.

In the beginning of the summer, I just figured all that hater-ade was just Trouty's way of being involved. You know, trying to be supportive. But now I can admit it was the beginning of the end for Samcedes. Now I can comprehend that, at the time, Evans had just basically just gotten his girl back…and wasn't ready to let her go yet again. He was jealous of anybody she was getting close to, me included. And I get it; it's hard to see somebody you love move on. Watching Jones make decisions about her future without him had to be hard on Sam. But in hindsight, Trouty should have made more of an effort. Because knowing what I know now about how their relationship finally imploded; I know most of the drama could have been avoided. And taking into account what happened when shit finally come to a head; Evans probably should have tried a lot harder to get his jealousy shit in check when he had the chance…

A/N: YAY! The next one isn't for the Sam-lovers. IJS.

Oh, and if you read my Samcedes fic, Spring and Summer Only, then some of the stuff Puck mentioned about the summer after graduation probably seems familiar. I decided to fold this one into that universe, because Marcus and Matt (Mercedes fictional bros) showed up when I was writing Chapter 16.

Like really? Y'all just gonna walk into my other fic?

I decided not to fight it. Hope you guys enjoy!