Everything was a blur. Takashi pushed past Kyoya and looked at me with a mix of confusion and fear. I couldn't tell if he was afraid of seeing my condition or how I was laying in a puddle of cleaner. Kyoya tried to protest behind him but it fell on deaf ears as Takashi scooped me into his arms. Despite my disoriented mind, his arms felt like a shield, like nothing in the world would hurt me. I wanted to grab onto his shirt but couldn't. I felt terrible as his shirt was becoming soaked from holding me.

My eyes are so heavy...

I strained to keep my eyes open as we left the closet. I didn't want anyone to see me so I tucked my hands under whatever I had left of my arms. Takashi saw this and hugged me closer, ignoring Kyoya calling his name. I couldn't hear the rest as I tucked my head closer into Takashi's chest. Wanting nothing more than to go to sleep. I felt safe and the thought of disappearing right here, in his arms, didn't sound so bad.

We were outside in a matter of seconds since Takashi was walking at a fast pace. We arrived at his car and he gently put me into the back of it so I could lay down. He slipped into the front seat but didn't start the car, he leaned his head on the steering wheel, letting out a long-awaited breathe. He must have been really shaken up, even I could see his hands slightly shaking in the darkness. He then sat back, running a hand through his dark hair, trying not to look like he was stressed.

I struggled to speak, "Takashi..." He looked back at me, his stone-like expression fading. It pained me to see him this way and it was all because of me. He must be so confused right now. Why would his friend do this to me? It hurt me even worse to see him question his friend. Kyoya and I may not get along but they were friends. They were in the same club together and got along great. Who was I to get in-between them? I had no right to break them apart.

"I'm sorry.." I choked out.

It was all I could do at the moment. All I could do was apologize for making him go through this. I could make him hate Kyoya forever, what if they don't talk to each other ever again? The thought left me feeling worse, worse than disappearing. I didn't want them to split! I'm going to disappear forever but friendships stay past a lifetime.

Why did I call out to him? I should have just laid there in that puddle of filth and deal with whatever Kyoya wanted to do next. It would have been better than seeing Takashi's face, seeing him so broken and torn. I never wanted to hurt somebody and that's all I've ever done. I hurt Tomo by trying to wedge into his business and caused a fire. I wanted to do good by breaking it up but all I did was cause him to be in the hospital.

Now, I'm hurting Takashi. His dark eyes were filled with so many questions and I can't answer a single one. I should have never gotten close to him and made him feel this way. I wanted to reach out and tough his smooth skin, to help him feel some kind of comfort but, I couldn't even do that.

I started crying.

"I'm so sorry.." I sobbed. All I ever did was cause this man pain and it made me feel like the worse person on the planet. Here I was, in the back seat of his car, crying like a baby. I was helpless, I couldn't even offer some kind of support for Takashi. He was taking care of me and it made me feel sick. I wanted to help him more than anything.

He didn't know what to say. He never did. Even with me crying and looking like some kind of monster, he didn't ask questions. I knew it was tearing him up inside but he didn't ask for my sake. I was already vulnerable and broken, he didn't want to crack me further. He slowly touched my cheek with his knuckles, wiping some tears away. "It's going to be okay," He managed to say.

Takashi then put the car in reverse and we drove away from the hospital. We returned to silence, all you could hear was my sobs. I tried to stop but couldn't. All I could do right now was cry and wait for my body to disappear. I didn't want it to happen with Takashi around. I wanted him to think I was a good person until the very end. Now, he will have the image of me being some kind of freak for the rest of his life. I never wanted him to know, I wanted at least one person to think I was normal.

I didn't even know where we were going but I didn't care. It wouldn't matter anyway, I was going to disappear, right here in the back of his care. Out of all the places where I thought it would happen, this wasn't one of them. I wanted to disappear somewhere special, even if it was a selfish request of mine. Couldn't I have one thing? One final say so? I wanted to at least go in a peaceful manner, not crying in a car.

We drove for sometime before the car stopped and Takashi spoke, "I don't know where to go."

He had a girl who was a mess in his car, where could he go with someone like that? The most obvious place would be the hospital but he ran out there because of Kyoya. Takashi must think he is the cause of my condition but I didn't want him to think that. Kyoya had nothing to do with it. My time was up anyway, Kyoya just happened to be there. I had to clear up the misunderstanding.

"It's not his fault," My voice was becoming clearer, "Please, don't blame Kyoya."

Takashi didn't look like he believed me, he was a mess just like me. What was he suppose to think? One of his friends tried keeping a girl in the closet and she looked close to death. I would be confused too if I was in his shoes. Why would Kyoya keep me in the closet? What motive would he have to try and drive his friend away from the scene? We both had the same questions and we both didn't have answers. I probably will never know why Kyoya was so interested in me? Perhaps, this was all a game to him. To see me at my lowest but I rather not think that.

Suddenly, Takashi's phone went off. He slightly jumped when it ringed in his pocket. At least, it cut through some of the silence. I could hear Honey's voice on the other end. He sounded happy and bit inpatient. "Where are you? I thought we were going to see Tamaki tonight?"

Tamaki... What I wouldn't give to see him one last time. He was the first person to reach out and show me what it was like to have a friend. Even though he was with Haruhi, he made me feel what it was like to fall in love. His angelic smile and looks side, he was so kind. Even though I was lonely and everyone saw me as an outcast, he reached his hand out for me to take. He lit up my world in a way I'll never forget.

"I..." He paused. He didn't know what to say. He didn't want to say he was with me or Honey would surely wonder why. Takashi was at a standstill and again, it was my fault.

Why do I have to cause problems?! Please, just this once, allow me to help him. All Takashi has ever done was help me and now, it's my turn. I swallowed my tears and reached out to the phone. By some miracle I could see my hand, it was faded but still there. I managed to grab the phone out of his hand and spoke, slapping a happy tone over my voice, "Honey!"

"Hara?" He questioned.

I faked laughed, "I'm sorry for taking Takashi's time away from you. He's going to take me home and he'll head that way."

"It's okay, just take your time! Tell Takashi to have fun!"

"Of course."

I hung up the phone and no longer had the strength to hold it. It fell through my fingers onto the floor. Takashi pulled his car into a parking lot, putting it in park and quickly grabbed my hand, afraid if he let go, it would disappear again. I loved how big his hands were compared to mine, the way he squeezed around my fingers made me feel safe. Like all of this was simply a dream and I was going to wake up like everything was normal.

Our eyes locked and I swore it looked like Takashi's eyes were watery. It must be a trick, it was dark and he was just as tired as I am. After what seemed like hours, he gently pulled his hand away, leaving me feeling empty. He glanced out the window and spoke, his voice seemed so far away. "It's snowing again."

I noticed my legs and feet returned to me, seeing this, I dragged myself to where I was sitting up. Leaning against the side of the window, I watched the small snowflakes fall. It was a calm and cold night, I didn't notice the time fly so fast. Tonight reminded me of that night that seemed so long ago. The way the snow was drifting and the homes around us seemed so cozy. The lights were on and the families inside were surely comfortable and content. The only difference was that tonight I wasn't alone.

I had Takashi.

I wasn't running in the snow, the only thing keeping me warm was a thin blanket and the heart-crushing decision that lead me to my death. Tonight, I wasn't cold and I wasn't climbing onto the Highschool roof. I was in the backseat of Takashi's car, both of us sitting in some kind silence that we both didn't know how to break. I kind of didn't want to break it, afraid what would happen. It felt like an eternity, sitting here in the darkness. Perhaps, we could be like this forever and I wouldn't disappear.

Someone inside me made me speak, "I wanted to say thank you for never asking questions." He looked back at me once again, "I know it must be hard, keeping silent all the time. I know you want to know what is happening to me and why my body is acting this way. Why Kyoya was keeping me in that closet."

"I-"

I stopped him, knowing he was going to keep me from talking. "The reason why I never told you anything was because I wanted you to see me as a normal girl. I didn't want you feeling like you had to be near me like I was some fragile being that needed protecting. But you did just that anyway, you've always been next to me and no matter what happened, you never asked why." I went to rest my head on the back of his seat, not wanting to look him in the eyes, "I didn't want you seeing me as a monster. I wanted to keep this a secret so you didn't have to worry. Now, you've seen everything and there's nothing I can do about it now. You see, Takashi..."

"I'm going to leave this world tonight, I can feel it."

My energy was fading fast and my body was feeling faint. I lifted myself up over the chair and wrapped my arms around Takashi's shoulders, he was staring up at the sky through the window. His hair smelled like soap, making me relax a little bit. My heart swelled knowing I wasn't alone, that he was here for me until the very end. Since tonight was my last, I wanted to be somewhere special. I wanted to go in peace.

"Takashi," My breath brushed past his ears, making him sigh. "Take me to our secret spot."