I dream of an island surround by water and I picture Rey and I alone, left to be whoever we want to be. I wake when I begin to feel the bed moving beneath me, I open my eyes and in the dim light witness Rey tossing and turning. She rolls over, facing me, resting her head close to mine; I see her eyebrows gather in agony and her eyes twitch under her eyelids. She looks scared, I cannot help myself; I press a kiss to her forehead. I hear her whimper in her sleep and she suddenly jumps up, wide awake, pulling the bed covers with her, her eyes hold a deep fear. I am unsure how to react, so I sit up slowly.
"Are you alright?" I ask, and she doesn't say anything, just stares at me with wide eyes, "Rey, you're safe here," I lightly whisper, I watch her frightened expression subside.
"You're here too…" she half asks, half reassures herself, I nod and lay back down, the covers strewn across the end of the bed, I look at the ceiling, Rey does the same.
A few moments pass and then out of the corner of my eye I watch her shift her body so she lies on her side, facing me. She takes one of her small hands and places it on my hip, I feel a unique warmth spread out from her touch. Rey focuses on her hand as she runs her fingers slowly across my torso. I continue to look at her, her eyelashes lowering and rising as she blinks, softly rubbing small circles into the fabric of the loose shirt. Her hand makes its way towards my chest. She continues to run her fingers higher, reaching the bare skin where my shirt opens, her fingers are coarse and hardened despite this she gracefully moves her hand up my neck her touch soft and gentle: her delicate fingers cause shivers to run down my scarred spine. Her fingers trail back down my neck slowly, my breathing is shallow, apprehension and curiosity building as her fingers begin dancing across my collar bone, sinking in and out of my shirt as she softly makes her way across my body. "I hear you scream in my nightmares," I feel my shoulders slump with guilt, briefly closing my eyes, knowing it is my fault she whimpers in her sleep. She keeps her focus on her hand, not looking at me as she continues to brush her fingers across my dark skin.
The feeling of apprehension rises and my breathing comes in short bursts as I watch her fingers as she slowly and carefully pulls down my right shoulder sleeve, exposing my wound, glowing a mismatch of dark browns, purples and reds. I am unsure what to expect but she ever so slightly runs her fingers around it, then leans across me, her chest against mine as she lowers her lips and presses a gentle kiss to my scar. I flinch at her touch, not because it hurts, but because I expected it to. Immediately, she yanks my shirt up, lies back and looks me in the eye.
"So do I," I whisper, for a moment I think she may cry, instead she turns away from me and rolls to the edge of her side. I lean down and retrieve the covers; gradually I pull them up to Rey's chest. As I am about to take my hand away when she grasps it in hers and she tugs my right arm gently over her body, I move so I am on her side of the bed too. She takes my hand and begins to kiss my smooth fingers, I press myself right against her and feel her relax, which is not how I expected her to react. Her nightgown hangs loosely down her arm; I lower my head and lightly kiss her shoulder once before I pull the sleeve up. She moves my arm down slightly spreading my open palm against the fabric of her nightgown precisely where her heart is. I try my best to ignore the way her I ignore the way my hand presses against her breasts and the calm beats pulse rhythmically into my skin are enough to completely distract me. She has her arms wrapped around mine keeping my hand against her chest. I close my eyes and it only takes a few moments before I fall asleep.
I wake in the late morning, Rey is no longer next to me - in fact she is no longer in the room - her side of the bed is pristine, giving the impression that no one slept next to me.
I am slightly disappointed, but I know her well enough to understand that affection is not something that comes naturally to her; maybe it would be too much to see me after we shared such an unexpected and intimate experience. I am sure I will see her soon. I will pretend it didn't happen, she will too, and I am okay with that.
I crawl out from the sheets, matching my side to hers; eradicating all knowledge someone was under there, and quietly leave her room.