Numbers 16-20 are nowhere near done. Please accept this peace offering instead. :)

Special thanks to the reviewers, and apologies for not updating recently! Also I just found out I have readers from Sweden and Albany! That is so awesome! All readers are great! Yay! (I had lots of sugar recently, could you tell? No? I must try harder then!)

-By the way, these are omakes. They are in no way related to the plot of the main story, just random bunny ideas that pop up during my occasional bouts of insanity (and trust me, they breed like bunnies, too... urgh).

Death Eaters get

CULTURE SHOCK!

The Muggle World

I) Draco discovers a new calling.

All was silent as he chewed slowly. He swallowed thoughtfully, and looked up. "What is this ambrosia?"

"It's called a hamburger."

"Mmm." He was thinking hard.

...

Hermione walked into the fast food chain restaurant, her stomach rumbling discontentedly. She was starving! All she'd had for breakfast was a slice of toast before Harry and Ron had dragged her off to show Ron the wonders of cinema. It was nearly dinner, and she was tired. She really should have known not to take them to see the new Spiderman movie (though admittedly, it had been slightly amusing to watch Ron yell out advice to the movie characters and have a minor panic attack when the radioactive spider bit Peter Parker). Hermione needed some greasy comfort food desperately.

She examined the menu for a moment, before deciding on a simple burger and fries, and turned to give her order to the cashier. She jumped in surprise at seeing the last person she expected to be behind the till. "Malfoy?! What are you doing here?"

Draco Malfoy sneered. "Run along now, Granger. A mudblood like you has no place in the Kingdom of Beurgher.

Hermione glanced around, unsure if she had heard him correctly. "The- the Kingdom of Burger? You mean here? Burger King?"

He sneered again. Hermione wondered idly if that was his default expression, and decided she might as well ignore it, since his face was likely to someday be stuck like that. "It appears your knowledge of the Muggle world is severely lacking. Of course I mean this Kingdom of Beurgher. Father was ever so pleased when I told him I'd become the Treasurer for royalty. Royalty that has small fiefdoms all around the globe, no less." Here he waved a hand at the map hanging on the wall. It marked where all the Burger Kings in the world were located.

Hermione decided she must have somehow fallen asleep or something. There was no way this could be anything more than a delusion. But then again, even her mind wouldn't have been able to come up with something like this.

Malfoy prattled on, bursting with pride. Hermione hoped he would really burst. She couldn't deal with his inflated ego right now. "He was right hand man of a Dark Lord, but I am the trusted Treasurer of a king!" He collected himself. "So, go. Shoo."

Hermione sighed, rubbing her temples. "Look, Malfoy. This is a burger joint. I want a burger. And this place is not a fiefdom, or territory, or owned by royalty. I'd know; I've been coming here since I was six."

He sniffed disparagingly. "No doubt you were a charity case."

Hermione rolled her eyes and stalked out. Maybe she'd just make herself a sandwich at home instead.

(: :) (: :) Cookies! (: :) (: :)

Warning: Contains disturbing content (as in, I spent twenty minutes trying to delete and then bash the idea out of my head before giving in to the angry omake bunny and writing it down). The brain bleach is located in the corner for your use.

II) How to Cause the World to Descend into Chaos (starring your favorite Dark Lord!)

Tell Voldemort that you want to share a new way to torture that only affects Muggleborns and half-bloods that have lived in the Muggle world in recent years. Teach him how to twerk.

Lord Voldemort strode out into the Muggle town, his robes billowing menacingly. He paused before a shivering group of filthy Muggles held at wandpoint by Death Eaters. He strode back and forth menacingly, delighting in their whimpers of fear. He paused menacingly, menacingly staring at each and every one. He postured menacingly, allowing his Dark aura to wash over them.

He cackled menacingly (he was quite good at this menacing business, if he did say so himself. And he did say so. Any dissenters of this remark were promptly crucio'd into agreement.) "Tonight, Muggles, you are fortunate enough to witness the dawn of a new era, where crucios are just the beginning! And you will be the first victims! Behold!"

Voldemort began to swing and jerk his hips erratically.

The Muggles began to twitch. One began to say, "Isn't that the-" but was quickly hushed by another who was viewing the Dark Lord with dawning horror.

Voldemort started making odd half-squats, still moving his hips. He watched the Muggles snivel, and grinned in wicked glee.

The Muggles had all realized the hopelessness of their situation. One began to cry. The rest were too terrified to do more than stare at the Dark Lord, their doom.

Voldemort flicked out his long, snakelike tongue and let it hang down.

That was the last straw. Several Muggles began shrieking, fighting against the Death Eaters to get away from the monstrosity before them. Two fainted. One curled up in the fetal position, muttering to himself rapidly under his breath. To his amusement, one Muggle even covered his eyes (which were bleeding, strangely enough; Voldemort put it down as a side effect of the powerful magic he was using) and shouted, "Not again!" This must have been a truly strong Muggle to have survived this before, but no matter. Lord Voldemort left no survivors. The Dark Lord gave a maniacal laugh and continued with his hip movements.

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III) Voldemort discovers fanfiction. No further explanation required.

Draco Malfoy was throwing a tantrum in his bedroom. It was not a pretty sight. "Why do they always pair me up with Granger or Potter?! I don't know which would worse! I'd rather snog the Giant Squid!"

From deep within the bowels of the Mansion (and isn't that a lovely image unto itself) came an enraged roar from the fearsome Lord Voldemort. "Potter and I WHAT?!"

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