A/N: Many thanks to those of you who have followed and favorited this story already. Even bigger thanks to everyone who's left reviews - especially serpetinefire and Snovolovac who've been here from the beginning. Something's funky with FFN, though, and I'm not always getting notified of reviews, so I apologize if I've missed responding to you. And to the guest reviewers (including Spike and AegisKitten and at least one 'guest'-guest) to whom I cannot reply via PM - thanks! I deeply appreciate your taking the time to leave a note. This story is close to my heart, and it makes me so happy to hear your thoughts.

November 2, 1984

Daddy and Uncle Bobby were yelling at each other again.

"The man lived just up the road from here, John! Mike was my neighbor for years. If he'd had an angel, maybe he wouldn't have been demon food last month!" Uncle Bobby's shouting carried from inside the house all the way out to where Dean had fled to the junkyard.

Dean kicked at the ground, sending little rocks to patter against the rusting sides of broken down cars. He hated it when they fought. It made his stomach upset. And if they kept fighting like this, he knew Daddy would move them somewhere else. Again.

"That's bullshit!" Daddy's voice was angry and loud. "He didn't need an angel, he just needed to know how to protect himself like a goddamn man."

It was almost dark out, but Dean couldn't stand the thought of going back inside. Instead, he went deeper into the rows of wrecked cars to get farther from Uncle Bobby's house and away from the raised voices.

Sammy had been asleep upstairs. Dean wondered if the yelling had woken him up, and he felt a twinge of guilt that he wasn't up there to comfort his baby brother in case it had.

When he was almost to the fence lining the salvage yard, the automatic lights came on, bathing the rows of cars in harsh light. Dean climbed into the backseat of one of the less damaged cars – it had no doors, but it still had seat cushions. Picking at the edge of a hole in the tan leather seat, he thought about before the fire. About what it had been like before Mama died and Daddy had become so mean all the time. He didn't smile anymore and never played with Dean like he used to. Tears filled Dean's eyes when he thought about his mama – how she always took care of him and made him feel safe, and how much she loved him.

He was pretty sure Daddy didn't love him anymore.

It felt like a huge hand was crushing him in a fist, making it hard to breathe. Pulling his knees up to his chin, he wrapped his arms around his legs and tried to stop crying. Crying was for babies. He should be upstairs taking care of Sammy like he was supposed to. If he did a better job of it, maybe Daddy would love him again.

"Hey, Dean-o." The gentle voice came from the shadowed figure that suddenly appeared on the seat beside him.

"Gabriel?" Dean asked in shock. It had been so long since he'd seen Gabriel that he'd thought the angel had forgotten about them.

"Hey, buddy. I missed you." Gabriel said softly, opening his arms in invitation.

A sob tore its way out of Dean as he scrambled across the seat and into Gabriel's lap, throwing his arms around the angel and burying his face in his neck and the familiar tingle of his halo. Gabriel held him tightly and petted his hair like Mama used to do whenever he was hurt or upset, and that just made him cry harder. He missed Mama so much, and he missed Gabriel, too.

"I'm sorry, kiddo. I'm so sorry I haven't been here for you," Gabriel murmured, rocking him gently.

Dean squeezed his arms tighter around the angel's neck. "Where've you been? Why did you leave us?"

Gabriel took him by the shoulders and pushed him away far enough that he could meet Dean's eyes. He looked serious and sad. "I haven't left you. I could never leave you, Dean-o, I promise. But your Dad's still really angry with me and won't let me see you."

Reaching up, Dean touched his fingertips to the shiny scars that still covered part of Gabriel's face. They looked better than when he'd last seen the angel, but the burns had been severe, and not even angels had been able to heal them completely. He brushed his fingers over where his eyebrow should have been and over the waxy looking skin of his cheekbone beneath where his eye used to be. "He shouldn't be mad at you. It wasn't your fault."

Gabriel looked away, his remaining eye glittering gold in the harsh yellow of the security light. "Doesn't matter, Dean."

"Does, too. I want you to stay here."

Pulling Dean back into a hug, Gabriel sighed. "Me, too, kiddo. But I can't. Your dad won't have it. You can always pray to me, but unless it's life or death, I won't be able to answer. The best I can do is an occasional visit like this one, but it has to be secret, okay? If your dad finds out..."

"If his dad finds out, what?" Daddy's voice cut in, hard and dangerous. He stepped into the pool of light next to the wreck with a tire iron dangling in one hand.

Dean whimpered and Gabriel's grip on him tightened.

"Dean, get your ass out of that car right now." When Daddy spoke soft like that was when he was the angriest. Dean scurried out of the car as fast as he could.

"John. Could we just-"

"Could we just nothing. I told you, you son of a bitch, that I didn't want you anywhere near me or my children ever again."

"It's been a year-"

"You don't think I know that? A year ago today, my life – my whole world – ended, and it's YOUR fucking fault!" With a roar, Daddy swung the tire iron and smashed it down on the already damaged back window of the wreck, shattering it.

"Gabriel!" Dean shrieked, running back toward the angel.

Daddy whirled around and grabbed Dean's arm, wrenching it painfully. "Go to the house and go to bed, boy. NOW." He gave Dean a shove that landed him on his rear. Dean looked up at him, shocked and scared.

"NOW, DEAN!"

Dean scrambled to his feet and ran, too afraid to do anything else. But before he got even halfway back to the house, he skidded to a stop. He'd never seen his daddy like this, and it was terrifying - he was scared that if he didn't follow orders and go to bed, Daddy might really hurt him. But what if Daddy hurt Gabriel? Dean couldn't let that happen.

He ducked back down the row in time to see Daddy hauling Gabriel out of the wrecked car by the front of his shirt. Gabriel had his hands up and open. Sparkling glass rained down out of his hair and off his shoulders.

Dean hid alongside one of the old cars, just outside the yellow pool of the security light.

"John, please – I just want to be there for the boys."

Daddy slammed Gabriel up against the wreck and snarled in his face, "Like you were there for Mary?"

Gabriel's face crumbled. "John..."

"Stay the hell away from us – or I'll make damned sure you do!"

Gabriel, his hands still raised, nodded slowly. His eye flicked over to where Dean huddled in the shadows, and then he vanished.

Daddy roared again, and smashed the tire iron down on the battered roof of the wrecked car over and over until his wordless shouting turned into wrenching sobs. The tire iron dropped from his hand as the sobs shook him.

Dean ran. He turned and raced back to the house as fast as he could. Ignoring Uncle Bobby's demands to know what all the ruckus was about, he rushed up the stairs and into the room he was sharing with Sammy, slamming the door behind him. Kicking off his shoes, he stripped out of his pants and dove into bed, pulling the covers up over his head.

He was trying so hard to keep from crying like a baby that he shook from the effort, and still some tears got out. When he heard the front door open and close, he listened as hard as he could, but he couldn't hear what Daddy and Uncle Bobby said to each other. Footsteps creaked on the stairs, so Dean quickly wiped his face and pretended to be asleep.

The bedroom door opened. Through his cracked eyelids, he saw his father shadowed in the doorway. The dark figure stepped into the room and sat at the edge of Dean's bed.

"Dean..." his daddy began, but trailed off.

He sat there without saying anything for a long time.

Finally, he said, "Dean, I didn't mean-"

With a sigh, his daddy stood up again. He went to the doorway and paused, turning back to the room for a moment before leaving and closing the door behind him.