So a big thank you to anyone who has read and left a review…but don't feel as though you have to be shy, drop me a line and let me know what you think, reviews make me sparkle like Edward on a sunny day. Thoughts will be shown in italics. Enjoy and please review. Love Tink. XX


Forks- January- present day

As I drifted back up slowly through the inky black depths of unconsciousness, I became aware of the low urgent voices of my parents, engaged in a heated conversation. Even in argument I marveled that they had such beautiful musical voices.

"This is exactly what I've been worried about all these years Bella, shifters are at best temperamental, at worst unstable…if that mutt has hurt her-" my father snarled, his concern evident.

"Edward, we can't just turn our back on him, he's still Jake and he gave up so much for us…he needs us now, we have to find a way to help him"

My eyes fluttered open at the sound of Jake's name and in the same instant my parent's concerned faces hovered above me. Feeling too shaken to speak, I looked at my father knowing he would be listening, reading my thoughts.

What happened? Where's Jake? Is he hurt? Please tell me he isn't hurt, tell me nobody hurt him? When can I see him? Is he asking for me?

The emotion clouding my brain meant all my thoughts were jumbled and blurred together but I knew he would be able to decipher them. My father scowled impressively but when he spoke his voice was gentle velvet.

"The dog is fine, which is more than I can say for you" he looked pointedly at Mom, who rolled her eyes. I fought the strangest urge to laugh, here I was lying injured in bed but I wanted to laugh, my Jake was here, my Jake had come home.

Can I see him? I bet he feels terrible, I don't know what came over him, where has he been? Has he asked to see me? Why isn't he here?

This time a look of unease crossed my fathers face and glanced at my mom, she nodded imperceptibly but I saw it all the same. Unease crept over me, there was very little my father referred to mom and when he did it worried me, he was normally so sure of himself.

"Ness" she spoke this time, her musical tones gentle and even, cautionary almost "Jake isn't himself right now… we don't know what's happening with him or why he attacked you, but he hasn't phased yet and was still very aggressive… so your grandfather has had to sedate him, we thought it was for the best"

I knew my eyes were bugging out of my head and I made the effort to speak, a sure sign I was upset, my thoughts were too full of tangled emotion to be clear right now "What's wrong with him Momma?"

I suddenly felt like the age I chronologically was, scared and uncertain. Mom had only ever become Momma when I was upset or scared. Tears welled up in my eyes, my human side again, I cried so very easily.

My mom stroked my hair from my face "I don't know baby but we're trying to figure it out, all of us and we're going to help him Ness" this time it was her turn to look at my father, he just scowled again.

"Can't you just read his mind Daddy, find out what's happening with him?"

My father sighed and looked a little unsettled, something else I wasn't used to "I've tried Nessie but he's not in there in anymore"

I felt sick and very scared, more scared than I had been when I was in the forest "What do you mean?"

"He's pure animal, I can't make any sense of his thoughts except to say that they consist only of the most basic urges, food, survival, shelter, hunting…We" he said, his gaze encompassing us all "We are his natural enemy…he was hunting you Ness, he wanted to destroy you"

I shook my head as I swallowed back the bile, which burned the back of my throat worse than any venom could, I refused to believe it, my Jake would never hurt me.

" Please believe me when I tell you he isn't your Jake anymore Ness, there is no trace of him left in there" he said gently, gravely.

"But you saw him, he wasn't attacking me Daddy…he was looking at me, he didn't want to kill me...I know he should but he didn't, he didn't want to kill me"

"Then explain to me how it is you have been unconscious for the last thirty minutes" he said dryly "the only reason you aren't more hurt is because of your skin"

I turned to Mom feeling desperate "You saw him Momma, he only attacked when he thought Daddy and Uncle Emmett were coming at me….he was protecting me"

I could hear the plea in my tone and my Mom looked desperately sad. I knew she thought I was making this up, imagining it, twisting things to make me happy.

"He was protecting me, he was Momma," I repeated, looking at them, wishing they could understand, see what I saw.

"Nessie" she began but I knew from her tone she wasn't going to agree with me.

"I want to see him" I butted in, I had missed Jake every second for the last 365 days of my life and now he was this close I didn't want to wait a moment longer to be with him.

My father shook his head, his face impassive as though carved from marble "No way! He's dangerous Ness, he's already attacked you once and you've still got the bump on your head to prove it"

I reached out and touched the back of my skull and winced, wishing I hadn't.

"But Daddy, it's Jake, I need to see him…I can't be without him, please daddy he won't hurt me…I just want to see he's alright"

I needed to see him, a felt an overwhelming physical urge to be with him, a pull to be by his side now he was so close. They couldn't keep me away from him. I would find him.

"Edward" my mom said gently and she touched his hand, looking into his eyes. Something passed between them, a memory, a conversation, I don't know what it was but when he looked back at me he nodded though he didn't look entirely pleased.

Happiness welled up inside me. I would see him, I could smell him, touch him, stroke his fur and hold him in my arms, feel his body against mine.

"Renesmee" my father said sternly but he looked strained. Oops. I reined in my exuberant thoughts, embarrassed. Dad didn't want to hear my personal thoughts and feelings about Jake.

"It's not that Renesmee…it's Jake, he's not the Jake we all knew, he's an animal now, nothing more, nothing less…. there's no man in there…You won't be able to touch him or hold him" he cautioned.

The happiness I'd felt drained from me in an instant and in its place, despair, sheer despair.

"Momma?" I croaked and she knew what I was asking without having to read my mind or have me say the words.

"Your father's right Ness, he's different now…but that doesn't mean he's not in there somewhere, I believe it even if your father doesn't"

"Bella" he sighed "Don't give her false hope, the sooner she faces that he isn't coming back the better for her"

"But he's back, he's here" I protested tearfully

"Nessie, I promise you that animal down there isn't Jake, at least not in the way he used to be"

I sat up on the bed and swung my legs over the edge, ignoring the slight feeling of lightheadedness with the sudden movement.

"I want to see him Daddy… but if it makes you feel better than you and Uncle Emmett can be there, but I am going to see him" I said defiantly getting to my feet. My parents were beside me in an instant as I hurried through the door.

"Where is he?" I asked unable to keep the urgency from my tone. I sniffed the air delicately and tried to trace the scent, but Daddy was right. I couldn't smell Jake, only the musk of wolf. I wrinkled my nose a little it wasn't nearly as pleasant as Jake's scent. I had never realized how much his human side intruded on his wolf form before now, how much it altered his scent and before the day was through I would know how much it altered his behavior.

"Hey Ness, how you feelin?'" Uncle Emmett asked as I stalked through the room, still following the trail of Jake's scent.

"I'm fine Uncle Emmett, I just want to see Jake… you coming? It would make Daddy feel better" I barely spared him a smile or glance as I continued through the house, my only thought getting to my Jake.

I knew my parents and Emmett followed me as I headed down into the basement, the basement? That seemed cruel. Did they have to keep him down here like the family pet.

"It's for everyone's safety, his included," my father said gently, reading me again.

My eyes adjusted to the light as I descended the steps, my acute hearing picking up the sound of his heart beat, vital, strong and racing slightly faster than usual. I heard the deep rumbles of his breath, the surging of his blood but again I wrinkled my nose as I was hit by the smell of pure wolf.

Shock surged through me, followed swiftly by abject misery and pain and I gasped against it. My trembling hand came up to cover my mouth, to stop the cry, which wanted to escape. There on the floor of the basement, curled unconscious, chained like an animal, was my Jake.

Tears rolled down my cheeks, at the sight of my once proud best friend, humiliated, degraded, tethered on the floor like a dog. Around his neck he wore a thick black leather collar, attached to a short chain, the thickness of my arms. Beside him a bowl of water and as I took in the name written on the bowl I began to shake with barely suppressed emotion. Jake. This was the bowl Rosalie had bought him a few weeks after my birth, after the Volturi left. It had been a joke, a sign that she was accepting him into our family at last. But to see it on the floor next to him filled with water was more than I could bear. I let out the cry I had been holding onto and sank to my knees, mere feet from him, crying as my heart broke for him.

My mother came to my side, resting an ice-cold hand on my shoulder as comfort, I didn't look at her, I couldn't my gaze was fixed on the animal on the floor. His massive head rested on his huge paws and I was reminded of his hands, of his gentle touch. I would give anything to be able to feel that touch again, to feel him stroke my hair or hold my hand like he had when I was child. I was trembling from head to foot and longed to reach out and bury my hands in his fur, to see if it was a soft as I remembered. I wanted to curl up in a ball next to him and hear his voice tell me everything was going to be all right, like he had when I was a little girl and had a nightmare. I waned to inhale the wonderful scent that was all Jake and not have it tainted by the animal he had become.

"How long?" I gasped out around my tears, my eyes staring ahead barely able to see through the tears.

"We don't know baby… your grandfather is used to working on people not an- not shifters…we don't know how long it will last but he's safe Ness, for now he's safe and with us…home, that's important too, not just what he looks like…he's still Jake" she said softly to me, her arm around my shoulders pulling me against her.

It didn't surprise me that my overwhelming need at that moment was to feel the contrasting heat of Jake's human body instead of the icy cold one of my mothers. I wasn't rejecting my mother's comfort or her touch but at the moment every action anyone took reminded me of Jake. The fact I breathed reminded me of Jake, the fact I was alive reminded me of Jake.

It hurt me beyond comprehension that I had to see him like this; it would torture him if he knew. My Jake was proud and strong and beautiful and compassionate and funny. Not this poor chained up creature on the cold ground.

I reached out a hand, I wanted to close the distance between us and know that he was real, not just an illusion caused by my unconscious mind. Against the sheer size of his magnificent head my hand looked tiny and fragile and I noticed the tremor but couldn't stop it. Velvet, soft and thick met my fingers as I shuffled closer and stroked over his head, petting him, wishing I could bury my face in his fur, making soft shushing sounds in the back of my throat, trying to comfort him even though I knew he would not be aware of me.

"Best not to disturb him too much" my father said, appearing on my other side, his mere presence a kind of comfort, obviously listening to my thoughts.

As I touched him I let the connection open and showed him with my thoughts, how much I had missed him, how desperate and wretched I had been without him, how I didn't live, just barely existed. Visions of us together in happier times followed, our hunts, our mingled laughter, playing at the beach, sitting around the bonfire on the res, wrestling in the garden, playing jokes on Aunty Alice because she couldn't see us, telling Aunt Rosalie blonde jokes and watching her scowl.

Transmitting this much information left me a little weak for a few minutes but as I stroked him, I searched for any signs of injury, checking my family had not harmed him in any way. I knew from the expression on my father's face he was attempting to read Jake, to see if my memories had made any impression. But judging by the bleak look he gave me, I didn't think so. Tears dried on my face in the silence of the room, the only noise from his rapid heavy panting, a side effect of the sedation I was told.

There had to be a way to bring him back, to get through to him. I would not believe that he was gone from me, from my life. Like he had once said to my mother "until your heart stops beating- I'll be here fighting for you". That was exactly how I felt now; and I suddenly realized with crystal clear clarity that the feelings I had been struggling with for the last year was love. I loved him, not as my uncle, not as my best friend, not as a protector but as a woman loved a man. As my mother loved my father, maybe even more so, he was like the other half of my, he held half my heart and half my soul.

He was the reason I was still alive, he was my reason to live, he was my life and I wasn't letting go of my life anytime soon. And I vowed that while there was breath in my body, I would fight. I would find a way to bring him back to me. He had saved my life and now at last the time had come for me to repay the favor, for without him I would be living a half-life.

I concentrated hard, showing him what I wanted him to see, me loving him, me waiting for him to come back to me. I showed him the times I cried over him, the times I had laughed with him. I showed him every look, every smile that meant something to me. Every beat of my heart bringing with it another memory, another wish for him to come back to me, not to leave me alone. I showed him my despair when I realized he was gone from me, the pain I had gone through, the endless nights when I didn't know whether he was alive or dead but that I, like others hadn't given up hope. And that's when it struck me.

"Sam" my father and I said together. I froze, as an answering snarl met my ears and the beast beneath my hand suddenly moved.