Thank you to all those people who are reviewing, it's nice to know a few of you are enjoying this as much as me. Italics are used here to show Jake/Wolf dreams. Hope you enjoy and let me know if you can't follow what I am trying to do. Love Tink. XX


Images and emotions swirled and eddied in the dark recesses of my mind, faces I didn't know, voices I'd never heard, things I had never seen flickering like moving pictures in my head. There was one face though, one so beautiful and striking that it calmed the feral beast within me, filled me with a sense of peace I hadn't felt in forever.

It was the face of a human female, with skin as pale and smooth as alabaster, deep brown eyes and a full mouth, curving wickedly into a smile. She was tiny even for a human and looked so fragile but there was an iron determination and stubbornness that was present in the set of her mouth and the glint in those eyes. The presence of her in my mind was like a balm, taming me yet taunting me at the same time. Haunting me. I felt as though I should recognize her, as though she would be part of my pack but that couldn't be possible, she was a human and I was a rogue wolf, a loner or so I had thought.

But then again, I only had memories of the last few moons, before that I didn't know who or what I was. My mind was blank, my memory gone. I knew nothing of my life before I had awoken in the forest as the moon waxed.. I knew I wasn't the animal I thought I was, for there was something more amongst those images, there was another face, a human face. A male of the species, with russet skin and eyes as dark as night and a powerful body, his every loping movement graceful and easy. I knew this person, though I was sure I had never seen him before. It was almost as though he were part of me……………..

Wolf POV

The powerful drugs my enemies had given me were beginning to wear off and I felt the soft touch of a tiny human hand against my fur. The sickly sweet scent of death assailed my sensitive snout and instinctively I let out a warning defensive growl. They were here in this room with me, my enemies, my prey. Even though I had not opened my eyes, I knew I was surrounded; their scent was overwhelming, calling to me, invoking my primal instinct to hunt and kill.

Another rattling growl escaped as I bared my fangs and the hand pressed so gently against my neck was yanked away quicker than I thought possible. The images in my head vanished as once more the animal in me emerged, until there was only one thought left in my mind…Kill.

Ren POV

One second I was stroking his huge head and the next I was by the door with thee angry, hissing and extremely defensive vampires surrounding me. I could tell by their instinctive crouches, they viewed Jake as a threat and it was clear from the way he growled and snarled at us, he viewed us in the exact same way. He got to his feet, tugging against the collar, his ears flat against his head, his fangs bared in a viscous snarl as he faced us. Struggling to see from behind my parents bodies, I pushed against them wanting to see Jake, wanting to look into his eyes, to see if their was any spark there, any flicker of recognition. I needed to do this; I had to know if my touch had made any difference to him this time.

"Stay back Renesmee, this is not the time to experiment" My father growled, his own teeth visible in response to Jake's aggression.

"He won't hurt me Daddy, just let me try, please, let me speak to him…I have to do this Daddy"

He said nothing but moved slightly to allow me to step between him and Emmett. They each took hold of an arm, as though to stop me getting any closer to him. My heart was racing inside me, fluttering wildly, a million birds taking flight in my stomach. I took a deep breath, I could do this, I had to do this for my Jake. He deserved a chance to come back, to come home to me. I looked him in the eye, hoping against hope, praying that he would see me and know, know that I was his and he was mine.

"Jake" I spoke softly, as though I were talking to a wild animal and in more than one sense I was. There was another low growl as a pair of narrowed brown eyes met mine, his head tilted inquisitively as he studied me. The faint rumbling continued but there was definitely a less aggressive edge, it was more of a warning.

"Jake, I know you're in there…it's me…it's Ness…you remember me don't you" I carried on talking, my voice, soft and gentle, my tone even as I stared into his eyes. There was a faint whine and I saw his snout twitch as he breathed, taking in my scent. He didn't move, but his body language changed from aggressive to defensive and though he continued to growl and whine, I didn't feel threatened.

"It's working" I heard my mother murmur in amazement from behind me. I felt my lips curve into a smile and I moved as though to step forward, gravitating toward him, unable to help myself. Immediately the fingers around the tops of my arms tightened, Emmett and my father seeking to protect me and I was held immobile as I tried to struggle against their restraint.

In the same second, Jake snarled, pouncing forward only the chain holding him in his place. I felt a moments fear as he continued to snap and bark, tugging against the collar. He began pacing up and down, low warning growls emitting with chilling frequency from his mouth, the fur on his hackles raised.

"It's okay, you're safe Jake, it's just us…it's just your family" I said on a shaking breath. He paused his pacing and studied me intently. I wondered if he understood what I was saying. I looked at my father, I knew he would be able to tell me; he was still trying to read Jake. Like me he had not given up. The thought warmed me through, there was hope. Did he know what I was saying to him? Was I making an impact on him?

"No he doesn't understand you but he is calmer"

I smiled. Whoever said music soothed the savage beast had obviously never heard me speak. Animal or human Jake responded to me on an instinctual level.

"Okay so maybe on this one you were right" my father conceded "But let's not push our luck, us being here will only antagonize him…perhaps we should let him rest"

I shook my head unconsciously, I didn't want to be away from him again, I didn't think my heart would take it.

"Ness, we should leave him, he probably feels threatened" my mother said and I could see the logic in that, if we were his enemy, then us being here was only going to distress him more.

"Besides there are other people who need to know that he's back" my father reminded me quietly but I knew right away whom he meant.

Sam. I knew we should tell him. He and Jake were as close as brothers, sharing a bond even we couldn't. I felt a momentary surge of possessiveness and jealousy, I didn't want to share Jake anymore, he was mine, not Sam's. As soon as the secret was out, as soon as he knew Jake was home, I would loose him again. Sam, though he had never said so, disapproved of my close relationship with Jake and part of me worried that he would interfere with our relationship if he had the chance. This was the very chance I had worried about.

"He has a right to know Renesmee…it's only right, they are his family too," my father said, pulling slightly against me. I knew he was right.

I turned my attention to Jake who stilled paced restlessly, his eyes fixed on us as he let out the occasional growl and whine.

"I'm going now Jake but I'll be back, soon…very soon" I told him and he stopped pacing, to sprawl out on the floor, his huge tongue hanging from the side of his mouth, as he panted, breathing heavily.

I grinned and turning away from him I headed for the door. My breath caught as I heard a low whine. I glanced back at him, he looked so sad, so forlorn and I felt guilty for leaving him like this.

"It'll be okay Jake, I promise," I murmured, wanting to reassure both him and me as I left but I only hoped that it was true.

Sam was expecting us, thanks to a well-timed phone call from Alice but that didn't mean he looked pleased about us visiting. Emily on the other hand, smiled warmly at us as she ushered us in, rubbing her heavily pregnant stomach. My fathers face tightened as we sat down in the den, he and my mother's nose's wrinkling slightly. I hid a grin, suddenly feeling more alive than I ever had, Jake was home, he was back and that was enough for now. I watched with a grin as my mothers face schooled itself into an expression of politeness as she attempted to cover the disgust she felt at the smell. The scent had never bothered me, it barely registered but I knew to my full vampire parents it was like smelling wet dog, only magnified.

"So Edward, you said you had something to discuss with us, is everything okay?" Sam asked folding his huge body onto the sofa next to his wife, their fingers interlacing automatically.

My father nodded but his face was serious, solemn "It's about Jake, we wanted to let you know that…he's back"

Sam's face lit up and he jumped to his feet, looking around him as though expecting to see Jake walk into the room at any minute. He frowned when my father did not return his smile and remained seated.

"Where is he Edward?"

"At our home, he is" he paused and I knew he was searching for the right words " not himself…he's feral Sam"

"Feral?" he repeated incredulous "He can't be, we would know, the pack would know"

My father shook his head "I doubt it, I can't make any sense of his thoughts Sam, they are too animalistic. There is no trace of human left in him… and he attacked Renesmee earlier this evening"

Sam's accusing gaze flew to me and I returned his scrutiny with a hard look, I knew he would find some way to blame this on me.

"Is he" Sam swallowed visibly "Is he still alive?"

"He's sedated and unharmed… but he can't phase, I don't think he even knows that he can…he's a pure wolf now"

Sam shook his head, shock written all over his face. Emily came to stand beside him and placed a gentle hand on his, silently offering her support.

"I want to see him… take me to him and I swear Cullen if he is injured you will all pay" Sam snarled, trembling a little. Panicked I recognized the signs of a shift coming on and I darted a glance at the door, this wasn't what I wanted, I wanted Sam to help Jake, to bring him back to me. Sam may be able to understand Jake's animal mind in a way that my father could not but I didn't expect him to shift uncontrollably to do it. I felt a little flicker of fear.

"It's okay Ness, he isn't going to phase, he just wants to help Jake too," my father told me with a grim smile "Isn't that right Sam" he said forcefully.

Sam nodded tightly as his trembling slowly subsided and looked from me to Emily with such a loving look that I felt immediately jealous of their relationship. My gut tightened. That was what I wanted, I wanted to love and be loved like that.

"I will speak to the pack and I will meet you there…they will want to come with me and run patrols but I think as his old alpha it is better that I see him first… there may be trouble" he warned grimly and I could hear his concern for Jake. At that moment I was grateful but scared.

I felt sick at the thought of trouble, I had seen both Jake and Sam fight and it was not something I wanted to repeat. My heart had been in my mouth the entire time; they were so vicious, so raw. It was a wonder no one had been seriously hurt but they had simply laughed it off, unperturbed by the effect it had on me. There had been times when Jake really didn't understand how much he meant to me and how worried I was for him. He seemed to think he was invincible.

My parents got to their feet and my mom smiled at Emily, "It was good to see you again Emily, I hope Sam is taking care of you"

"He is…it's a boy you know, we had planned on calling him Jake" she replied with a warm smile, caressing her stomach.

My heart swelled inside me at the notion that they like me had not forgotten Jake, and I had an insight into the pain Sam must have felt at his loss. I smiled at Emily; Jake would be thrilled to know he had a mini me. I vowed then, that no matter what, I was going to help bring Jake back so he could meet that mini me and love him the way I knew the child would love back. We left the house quickly after that, my heart heavy with their pain and my own melancholy.

My father drove at his usual hair raising speed, wanting to be home to warn the others before the wolf pack suddenly appeared. Over the previous years the wolf pack had become permanent fixtures in our home but with Jake's disappearance their visits had dwindled. If they suddenly appeared, instincts may take over on both sides and there could be trouble. It was only fair to warn our family but also to acclimatize them.

As it turned out, the pack beat us home, the second we stepped from the car we could smell them in the air, the thick scent of wolf hanging heavy in the air. They were obviously patrolling the area around our house and were as eager to see Jake as I had been, I could hear their excited yaps and barks as they called out to him. A part of me hoped he would hear and respond, that if he remembered them, he was on his way to remembering me and what we had been to each other.

I couldn't wait to go back in there and see him, knowing that maybe Sam could reach him, and I would be able to gaze upon his beautiful face once more. Moving with inhuman speed, we were inside in under a second and I was already heading to the basement.

"No Renesmee" my father caught me by the arm "I don't want you around for this, there may problems…Sam intends to force his alpha on Jake, in an attempt to get him to submit and then phase"

I nodded, beaming, that is what I wanted to happen, to bring him back "Yeah so"

"It can be very dangerous when wolves fight for control Ness, Jake is a rogue he is not used to being subject to his alpha's control and there is a very great chance he will refuse to bow to his will…Their instincts will take over and there could be a fight to the death"

My knees threatened to buckle under me for a second and I swayed but then I rallied, Jake needed me now, to be the adult I had told I was, I had to be strong for him.

"Ness, this really isn't good for you to see, I promise we will keep you informed" my mother said gently.

"C'mon Nessie" came a tinkling voice from behind me and I turned to see my Aunt Alice stood there, her hands on her tiny hips "I don't know why, because my day suddenly vanished with all these dogs around but I know I was meant to be with you"

I looked from my parents to Alice and then back again. My mom gave me a nod of encouragement and I sighed, knowing when I was beaten. I grabbed her ice-cold hand between mine

"Promise me, promise you won't let anyone hurt him," I whispered urgently "Don't let him leave me"

My mom enfolded me close to her and stroked my hair "I promise, we'll take care of him baby"

I clutched at my mother, feeling like a little child, and sniffing against the tears I wanted to spill.

"Bella" I heard my father say and she pulled away from me, kissing me on the cheek. Within a second they had gone and I turned to Alice, fighting the tears.

"He'll be fine Ness, I promise," she told me as she lead me away into the kitchen and sat me down at the table.

I glanced at her "Do you know that for certain?" It was a pointless question, we both knew she couldn't see Jake.

"No honey, but he's strong, he'll get through this I promise"

There was a sound of low growls and snaps and I knew my parents must be in the basement. My poor Jake, he must be so confused and scared. I knew he had never felt scared or helpless in his life so this must be terrible for him.

Going still, I listened intently to the conversation I could hear going on below me…………………..

"Thank you for coming Sam, this means a lot to Renesmee" my father was saying as opened the basement door to let him inside.

"He is family" was all Sam replied and then I heard it, the loud howling and then the growling began. Sam must have phased. The not knowing was terrible. Quicker than I thought possible I was on my feet and running down into the basement.

I watched horrified as Sam stared Jake in the eye. There was a low warning growl from Jake and then he leapt forward, his teeth bared, glaring white in the dark recess of his mouth. The two huge wolves crashed together in a mixture of fur and fangs as they rolled to the ground, blood spotting their fur as they bit and chewed each other.

I stared in horror as they moved apart and then together again, as though part of some terrible dance. They circled each other, moving every now and then to slash at each other with their bared fangs, their claws scraping as they barreled into the stairs on which I was stood. There was so much blood; too much blood that nether could possibly survive. Venom pooled in my mouth at the scent and I was disgusted with myself. I jumped as the wolf nearest to me turned and snarled in my direction, blood dripping steadily from its snout. Jake! He looked at me. My heart almost leapt from my mouth as Sam lunged forward going for his exposed throat in his momentary loss of concentration.

Jake yelped and yowled as he hit the ground, with Sam's powerful Jaws clamped around his throat. There was a muted whine and Jake rolled to his back, bearing his stomach in the position of a submissive wolf. He had succumbed to Sam and accepted him as his alpha. The fight was over. I released a breath I didn't even know I had been holding and Sam's wolf eyes flashed to mine.

"Nessie" my mother hissed at me from across the room "Get back upstairs this instant!"

I nodded my heart racing; now that I knew he was safe and relatively unharmed I could relax a little. I lingered a few seconds longer and stared at Jake as he lay supine under Sam's powerful jaws. He looked so vulnerable that I wanted to rush to his side, to protect him, let him know I was here for him.

"Renesmee we will join you in a little while, go upstairs now, Sam needs to phase" my fathers commanding tone brooked no opposition and with a last lingering glance at Jake I did as I was told.

Alice was waiting for me at the top "Well that was clever Ness, do you know how dangerous wolves can be when they are fighting for dominance"

"I know Aunt Alice but I had to see, I had to make sure they didn't harm him," Images flashed before my eyes of the fight, of the blood and the noise and the look in Jake's eyes as he studied me. Something occurred to me in that instant

"He did it because of me" I blurted out.

Alice shook her head a bemused expression on her elfin like face "Ness I have absolutely no clue what you are talking about, you do know that right?"

"Jake, he was fighting and then when he saw me, he just stopped...it was like he was trying to protect me against Sam and by submitting to him, I was safe…he's in there Aunt Alice, I know he is"

"Nessie I don't think it works like that, from what your father told me, Sam had to dominate him, make him his alpha to persuade him to be able to phase"

"But Alice he knows me, that's why he stopped fighting, he knew I could be in danger" I said in exasperation, frustrated that nobody would believe me.

"Nessie, I know how much you've missed Jake and I know how thrilled you are that he's here with us but please don't look for things which aren't there…your father thinks he's gone for good"

"Dad doesn't know him like I do, he would never leave me and he's here isn't he?"

Alice sighed, an unusual sound for her, she was usually so positive and upbeat

"Ness I-"

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen" it was my mother and she did not sound happy. I spun on the spot a sheepish expression on my face. Oh shit.

"Yes Momma?" I asked innocently.

"What did you think you were playing at coming down stairs Nessie, you could have been hurt, you know shifters can be volatile"

"Mom I'm not going to apologize for worrying about Jake, he would do the same for me"

"Ness what you did was extremely foolish…what would happen if you got hurt or worse killed…you think I could protect Jake then?"

I bit my lip, I hadn't thought of it that way I had just been so consumed with the need to reassure myself he was okay that I hadn't thought beyond that moment.

"That much is obvious Renesmee," my father said as he joined us upstairs, closely followed by Sam.

"Well?" I asked urgently "What happened? Can you hear him? Can he hear you?" I demanded turning my attention to Sam.

Sam looked back at me "Your father was right, he's feral-"

"No!" I cried, I had been so convinced Sam could help him that I had never considered what could happen if he failed.

"Hear him out Ness" my father interrupted, coming to stand at my side, his arm around my shoulder, comforting even as it chilled me.

"If I can get him to trust me I think I can teach him how to phase, as his alpha he has to obey and it will be as though I am forcing him to shift, he has to obey any command I give him-"

Joy spread through me and I clapped my hands, dancing a little on the spot, childish I know but I was so inordinately happy.

"-But I can't do that while he is here…we have to move him, he has to come back to La Push, back to his pack"

I shook my head "No you can't take him, he'll be okay here, you can do it here" I protested and even I could hear how I was bordering on hysterical.

"If he stays here surrounded by …all of you…then he is going to be on a permanent defensive, he physically will not be able to phase when his natural instinct is to kill you" Sam said and for the first time it sounded as though he spoke kindly, perhaps taking pity on me.

"Nessie, Sam is right…Right now Jake is an animal and his instincts are telling him to hunt and kill us, perhaps if he is away from us then he can relax enough to phase back" my mom murmured stroking my hair like she did when I was a child.

Jake was leaving me again; he was going back to La Push. I wanted to cry out and sob like a little girl with the unfairness of it all but that wouldn't accomplish anything. I had to stay strong.

"But I can still come and see him… right?" I prodded when my family including my father remained silent.

Sam shook his head at me and he looked uncomfortable "He needs time and space Nessie, just your scent alone could be enough to permanently tie him to his wolf form…he needs to be away from you all to give his mind a chance to come back"

"How" I croaked and cleared my throat "How long?"

"I don't know, I don't even know if it will work but we have to give it a chance for Jake…and that means no visits, no sneaking onto the res, no just hanging out with Seth or the guys… we can smell you a mile away"

"Ness you can do this, do this for Jake"

I nodded but inside I was shaking, no sooner had I got him back then he would be leaving me again and this time I didn't know if he was ever coming back.

"Can I see him before you take him?" I asked Sam, pleading. He shook his head, his handsome face grave.

"We can't take the chance of him attacking you again…I will let you know how he is progressing, but I can't promise anything… but know this I will do everything in my power to bring him back"

The tears I had fought so hard against, spilled over as I faced the fact I may never be able to see my Jake, the one I knew and loved.

"When are you taking him?" I whispered, dashing at the tears with shaking hands.

"The pack are waiting for us now" he gestured to the window and I glanced out, seeing the faint outline of bodies moving in the bushes.

"Now? Really? So soon?"

"It's for the best, the sooner he is back with his family, the better it will be for Jake"

I wanted to shout out that he was with his family, that I was his family and he should be with me but I stayed silent. I knew if there was the slightest chance that this could work, then I had to do what was necessary, and that included giving him up.

Sam turned away from me and looked at my parents "Bella, Edward"

They nodded at him and he loped off quickly into the basement, I knew the second he phased as a low yap drifted up the stairs, Jake greeting him. Tears rolled down my cheeks, and I hurried to the window, desperate for once last look at Jake, like a junkie wanting a fix. I pressed my hands and forehead against the glass and watched as Jake and Sam stepped out into the edge of the forest.

Suddenly they were surrounded as one by one, the rest of the pack bounded out of the trees, with excited yelps and whines. I smiled though my tears as I saw Seth, Quil, Embry, Jared, Paul and Leah, scampering around, greeting Jake with as much enthusiasm as I had wanted to.

For a second I worried that Jake would attack the way he had with my family but he greeted the other wolves with the same deference he had with Sam, even though he stood head and shoulders above the others. I giggled as they leapt around each other; their tails wagging like dogs, frolicking like children.

"He's okay, isn't he?" I asked my father, desperately hoping so.

Beside me he nodded and was almost smiling himself "Looks that way"

My heart ached for the Jake I missed but I wanted him to be well again and I stared after them as the pack took off into the trees. Suddenly as though sensing my glance, Jake turned and looked up at me. His deep brown eyes met mine and it seemed as though he was looking into my soul, seeing me again for the first time. He let out a low woof and then in a flash was gone, leaving me staring after him with tears spilling down my face. I was alone once more.