Okay so here is the latest chapter, Italics represent dream sequence and hopefully this chapter shows how Jake's human personality is starting to come back. I know I say this every time but thanks to those who have reviewed even if it is only two of you last chapter, I did think about leaving this story but Jake kept whispering in my ear about all the naughty things he has planned and I just couldn't stop writing. Even if you lot don't want to know what he's got up his sleeve I do! That said let me know what you think and drop me a line. Love Tink. XX
I was frustrated and angry, as I drove away wildly, mainly with myself. I could never blame her; she was too perfect, too wonderful, too good for this world and too good for me. She was my reason to be here, the reason I was like this, and without her I simply would not be alive.
I would exist but I would not live, I would take air into my lungs but I would not breathe, I would close my eyes but I would not sleep, I would take in food but I would not eat, I would kill but I would not hunt. Without her my life was a gray meaningless blur, she was the sunshine in my life. Her presence on this earth explained mine; she was created for me and I her. So why were things so difficult?
There was a large part of me that wanted to go after her, to explain just why things had to be this way, to tell her what I had wanted to tell her since the second I first saw her face. But I had promised her parents, and even if I had not, I couldn't do that to her, couldn't tie her to a life she might not want out of obligation and her friendship for me.
Full of restless energy, I could feel my wolf prowling just below the surface of my skin ready to explode and shift at any time. Leaping lightly from my truck I hit the ground running and phased in an instant. The threads of my pants tore, a hissing sound as the stitching came apart, the material in tatters at my feet.
Assuming my wolf was as easy and as natural as breathing to me. This was where I really came alive, where I could become what I needed, with or without her. The freedom that came with this part of my life was worth all the sacrifices I had to make but despite my best intentions I didn't think leaving her would end up being one of them. I was essentially too selfish a creature to be without her and I would settle for whatever attention she chose to bestow on me.
The dark purple shadows flashed before me as I bounded forward into a sprint leaving my human self and all his problems far behind. A sense of peace enveloped me, a sense of oneness with the life around me; I was the earth now, part of an elemental force bigger than me, the same elemental force which bound me inextricably to her for ever and ever, whether she wanted me or not.
Relaxed as I was I didn't see the blood sucker until it was too late, until she was stood before me her shiny teeth bared in her striking pale face. She was tiny and so deceptively fragile looking that at first I didn't sense the danger until I looked upon her face and felt a flash of recognition and…fear.
I snarled bearing my fangs and crouched low ready to strike at this inhumanly beautiful child. She watched me, her wide scarlet eyes crinkling with amusement, a cruel smile playing around her pretty bow mouth.
Growling again I made as though to lunge forward but was overcome with white hot pain so unbearable that when I tried to howl all that left my mouth was an agonized shriek. Every nerve ending in my body was burning slowly with searing heat, scorching me from the inside out. I wanted to rip open my body to claw out the sensitive threads that held me to this life of burning pain and blistering heat. Death would not come easily this night.
A beautiful, musical, childlike giggle met my ears over the sound of my tortured screams and I managed to open my eyes. She smirked broadly, enjoying her game, as her eyes narrowed and the pain suddenly intensified.
"Aw does that hurt little puppy?" she cried gleefully as white lightening flashed around my body. I snarled and whimpered, unable to even form a coherent reply or thought to summon the rest of my pack. As I lay there twitching and thrashing in agony, a face appeared in my mind, a beloved face, a face so beautiful that I clung to the image as the pain increased ten fold and my weakened body began to spasm and jerk before everything went black…….
I came awake suddenly with a harsh warning growl, scrambling to my feet as I looked urgently around me for any signs of danger, the dream already fading as my body shook.
Bearing my fangs I searched for the baby faced enemy I had seen more than once in my dreams recently. Breathing harshly, deeply, I attempted to calm myself, scenting the air for my enemy as I slowly realized I was safe again. There was no childlike assassin or tortured human male. There was only me and my pack.
Seven moons had passed, all of them waning, since coming here with my alpha. We had passed the time hunting, prowling searching for signs of our natural enemy. Despite what I had seen recently, sensed the coven nearby on many occasions, there was no sign of any activity in this area. Yet I still felt something was wrong, something was changing.
I knew I should be more aware of the danger I could be in given the location of a vampire coven so close to the pack but there was nothing to drive forward my urge to hunt them, to kill them. The pack seemed to have existed closely with them for some time and I got the sense that although my Alpha wanted their blood, the others in my pack didn't. There was a clear divide and some of the wolves seemed to defer to me over the alpha, but what confused the shit out of me was that he did not object. It was as if he took it as my right.
Other problems were more pressing for me. I had begun to see flickers in my head accompanying the familiar prickle of intrusion. The packs thoughts were becoming clearer to me and I saw myself in them, memories of my time with them. Images now tugged at the corners of my mind and not for the first time I felt as though the dreams I had, may once have been a reality. That these dreams had once happened to me. That I had been that human male who had driven off in such a state of anguish, that my emotions, my feelings, my desires and urges were somehow entangled with his.
The residual energy of the dreams usually faded within minutes of me waking but today was different, there were feelings, emotions, things I did not understand, things my mind could not process. I felt almost human.
Impossible, I told myself time and again, I was wolf, majestic and proud, not some weak human. Yet I could not shake off the sense of familiarity at the images in my head, the almost sense of rightness, of belonging, in the same way I had upon meeting my pack.
Thinking of my dream, of the childlike killer, set my body shaking violently once more, and I felt out of control, wondering what was happening to me. My body was suffused in heat but it was the sense of impotence, the feeling of not having control over what was happening to me, which really shook me to my core. Whining softly, worried and confused I heard the familiar pad of paws when my alpha loped into the room.
He came to stand before me watching me intently, his eyes narrowed, nudging me with his massive jaws, as though trying to reassure me, calm me. I whined again as the tremors continued, growing more volatile with each passing second and I felt the alpha's unspoken command in my head
"Do not be afraid… follow your instincts… this is right… this is what's meant… remember…remember who you are"
Shuddering violently my entire body juddered with barely repressed energy as my mind attempted to make sense of what was happening to me. I felt like there was a build of up static inside me waiting to be unleashed, to be transformed and I began to convulse uncontrollably.
As I contorted before him, I whimpered as a million images suddenly flooded my mind. I howled as wolf faces, human faces, faces of the bloodsuckers I'd encountered and a strong sense of belonging swept through me. My body felt as though it were floating, spinning, swirling, shrinking, disappearing before everything went black.
All was still and silent around me, as I opened my eyes slowly to see my alpha human watching me. He looked oddly pleased yet his eyes were concerned. Scanning the room I heard the rapid arrival of footsteps as the rest of the humans in my pack barreled into the small room, all with various excited expressions on their faces. Their voices mingled until I could no longer hear what they said.
Looking so alike, with their dark skin and features I felt they must be related and a thought occurred to me. This was my pack, my family but there was still something missing, I could tell they felt a part was missing, I had heard it in their thoughts when the wolves were beside me. All of sudden a vaguely familiar feeling came over me, like an echo of a memory. I knew them? But how and why? Irritated with them and their stupid fucking smirks and crows, I tried to growl. Nada. Nothing. Silence.
They were all smiling, grinning broadly, at me. What the fuck were they staring at? I attempted to growl again but the sound that emerged was nothing like I expected, sounding more like a rumble than a warning noise. Shock charged through me as I began to understand.
I forgot to breathe for long seconds and as awareness came to me, I realized I was no longer animal, I was no longer wolf… I was human.