Author's note: This is the second chapter and the continuation of the story. Thanks for the positive feedback.
You see him again, that ghost from your past, the one you desperately tried to forget. There he is with his white blond hair glinting in the sun. You try to hurry away, hoping he doesn't see you. You look back and wish you hadn't. He sneers at you. He's seen the fear in your eyes, you're sure of it.
Memories come up, you choke back a sob.
Your paths cross many a time, after all you did work together, you share friends and acquaintances, each time you keep your eyes firmly locked on the ground. Hoping the childhood law of 'if I can't see you, you can't see me' really works, that as long as you don't catch his eye he will leave you alone. Of course it doesn't work, life isn't a bloody fairy tale.
Soon you have to wonder whether he might be following him, wherever you go you see him, in the shops, on the streets, even at parties. You've stopped going out, you've stopped looking after yourself. Your bushy brown hair is knotted and matted and your friends barely see you. Yet no one checks on you, you are the strong one, they don't think there could be anything wrong with you, they think you're just in a little 'anti-social and lazy' slump. If only they knew… they never will though, you'll never tell them. When they did talk sex and relationships with you, you mentioned him but only ever favourably. Too proud to admit that you'd been so weak as to go back to him after that first time.
University starts, you move away and thankfully so does he. You put on your mask again and you make do, you even get a boyfriend not that that does well either, when you tell him you're not ready to have sex again (You've told him about your previous) he threatens to kill himself, says that he can't live without it. He implies that you're hurting his feelings since you had sex repeatedly with your rapist and won't with him. What about my feelings you ask. What about me? He calls you a whore. You start to remember how he, your silver eyed demon, said that you deserved this and would never get anything better than him. You start to wonder whether he's right.
Your new friends worry, they see straight through you. You eventually tell them what happened and they make light of it; "We're sorry that happened to you" they say, "It could have been worse though" they also say, you lose it completely when one of them says: "At least you're not a 20 year old virgin". You punch her, immediately you feel better. Bitch. She makes you realised that no, it wasn't your fault. That people will always be that way, rude, revolting, and judgmental but that you don't have to go along with it. Slowly you build yourself up. You slowly get back to being the brash, loud and PROUD girl you were before, yes shitty things happened to you, and yes you possibly could have stopped them but they make you who you are now. You still have setbacks, some days you can barely drag yourself out of bed, some days you want to mutilate your body, cut off the breast he, Draco, loved so much. You can say his name now without wincing.
And then you meet someone. You meet him by accident, and you chat everyday thanks to modern technology, you meet up and, yes you go home with him. You're proud of yourself. He ties you up and you're loving it, loving how sex feels when you want it, or you think you do. Suddenly you start shaking, you break into tears. You think he's going to leave you, after all you barely know each other. He doesn't though, he holds you tight, pulls you onto his lap and comforts you. He asks you what is wrong and you end up telling him vaguely. He looks horrified and angry, so so angry. You think he's angry at you and out of habit you cower away. He then kisses you, strokes your hair still looking like he's going to punch someone and then he opens his mouth and reassures you. He doesn't think you're any of the adjectives you've given yourself. Not dirty, not used, not worthless and he calls you beautiful, even though he knows these things about you now. You never thought you'd ever be loved after Draco and yet here you are, after having met this boy a few weeks ago you feel like maybe, maybe you were wrong. Maybe you do deserve to be loved.
You stay with him, and today, today is your three month anniversary. Not long, but still more than you expected. You love him and he says he loves you too. Somehow, for the first time in ages, you believe him. Life is good. You no longer thing of Draco and the vile things he did to you, you've learned to forgive and forget. Even when he sends you a friend request (the bastard) you ignore him and just… you just feel sorry for him. How desperate must someone be to do what he has done, to not let you go?
Of course you still occasionally burst into tears and have slight feelings of hate but your love, the boy you met, Ron, he helps you, he reminds you that you're worth more. More than what you think and you deserve the best. He is your world and you are his.
End Note: That's it, a vague description. Might add more detail later though...
Love,
Scarlett