Poe walks in, standing in the entrance as he notices us. "Oh, sorry," he seems somewhat flustered, I smile, taking my arm from Rey's back and facing him, but keep her fingers linked with mine. He composes himself, "I was just coming to see if you two were okay?" he asks, returning to his normal tone.
"I think so, how do you feel?" I ask looking down at Rey.
"Good," she looks back at me and I smile.
"How's your arm?" I ask and she smiles.
"Been better, how's your wrist?" she counters glancing at it for a moment before looking back at me, I grin at her.
"It'll be fine,"
"Oh will you two stop, you're making me nauseous," I give Poe a questioning look, and he continues talking, "We just landed," Poe smirks, and is about to walk away but Rey calls him back.
"I think you two have a lot of explaining to do," she sits down on her bed pulling our intertwined hands down so I am sitting back in the chair in front of her. Poe brings over another chair and begins by explaining how the missing piece of the map was obtained.
"It was Koden," Poe says quietly. He adds that he was secretly working for the First Order, passing on Intel and information to both sides.
"What!" I utter in disbelief.
"Why would he do that?" Rey asks a confused look upon her brows.
"I don't know, to cause trouble," He shrugs and I furrow my brows in frustration.
"Poe, are you alright you were like a mentor to him," I ask looking intently at him.
"Everyone was shocked. He did always seem very disreputable, too sure of himself for a rookie. I just didn't put two are two together that he'd got trained by the First Order before joining the Resistance."
"I didn't like him." I state abruptly, Rey laughs and Poe rolls his eyes with a sly smile.
"What?" I enquire curtly.
"Of course you say that now you know he was faithless," Rey smiles, but I shake my head.
"I'm being honest. He was always getting so close to you." Out of the corner of my eye I see Poe close his eyes and press his lips together to prevent himself from laughing, "He must have been trying to get information out of you." I quickly add, I feel my skin become warm as I flush, Rey shrugs, nodding.
"You're probably right." She squeezes my hand a little tighter. "He always was asking about my training. I'd never told him and none of the pilots or cadets knew, expect you, Poe," Rey looks at him, but by her curious expression I can tell she is not accusing him of sharing her classified information.
Poe's eyes squint, "I never told him…" he reassures us, even though he didn't need to. Poe's honesty causes me sigh and Rey runs thumb along mine.
Actively ignoring our obvious hand holding Poe continues will his recount of the events. Koden eventually fled with the remaining piece of the map, no one had expected it to be him. I stay silent, listening intently as he explains how they found his room empty and the X-Wing Poe had helped him train with missing.
"Where were you?" I feel Rey's eyes on me, so I take my focus from Poe and look at her.
"What do you mean?" I ask, not meeting her eyes.
"You seem just as surprised as me, so, shouldn't you already know if you tagged along?" She questions
"I-" Do I lie to her? "-I'd left," I quietly mumble.
"Why?" She asks, I hear Poe silently stand up and leave the make shift medical ward.
"I'm only a target, the First Order won't stop looking for me," She looks disappointed; most likely because she realised I'm not a big hero who will save the resistance. I'm barely a man.
"Where did you go?" She doesn't sound very interested, she twists her fingers around in mine absentmindedly.
"To a planet in the outer rim," my voice is quiet "It's beautiful," I add
"Well you're not going back." She states like it is a fact. I sit back, a strange type of anger bubbles within me.
"But it's okay for you to leave? Hold me while you sleep but disappear in the daylight?" She looks helplessly up at me for a brief moment.
"It wasn't like that," now she looks everywhere but my eyes, and my heart starts to ache as I feel my temper simmer.
"It was exactly like that, Rey. You left me!" I raise my voice a lot louder than I usual would. She looks down, and so do I. even in my anger I still gently hold her hand, I sigh. When she glances back at me she has tears in her eyes.
"I couldn't help it; I didn't want to leave you..." She doesn't make any sense. Once the tears break the sanctuary of her eyes I feel my irritation slip away with them.
"But you did-" My voice is less than a whisper "-you left me..." my voice breaks. Then there is a moment, an unexplainable experience when Rey stares at me, right in the eyes but she doesn't seem like she is focused on me; her mouth opens and the tears flow, her lip shakes and she is completely silent.
"Are you o-" she cuts me off.
"I thought if I left it would be easier," she whispers, I shake my head.
"It wasn't," I mumble.
"I'm sorry," she whimpers slightly and places her other hand over the top of our joint ones. "I thought I needed to go, and by leaving you I'd be able to become stronger, and more focused." She takes a quick deep breath "But without you I just miss you, I can't concentrate, I wonder what you are doing, who you are with, if you are okay... I thought I needed to leave, but I was wrong…" her voice fades out at the end.
I don't understand how I feel, I should feel some happiness, I thought those words would make me want to kiss her, but the way she says them causes a lump grow in my throat and my eyes sting with the foreign burn of tears. I don't look at her; I can't, so instead I stare at our intertwined hands.
"You said you needed to have control, that I confuse you," I remind her quietly.
"You do confuse me, but you're the only person who comes back for me; even when I push you away," I blink back the tears as best I can before I look at her, "Finn, I don't want to push you away anymore..." I feel the strange burning deep inside and I take my free hand and bring it to her face, running my fingers into her hair, which is falling loosely out of her buns.
"I don't want to run anymore," I want to kiss her; I bite my lip to prevent myself from pulling her to me. I know she likes to feel in control; so I will let her. She closes her eyes leaning into my touch.
I can't bare it any longer I crave the feeling of her close to me; I unlock my fingers from hers and bury my other hand in her hair. I slowly lean closer to her, gently pulling her to me; I press me lips above her eyebrows, then rest my forehead against hers. She opens her eyes, looking directly into mine. Shivers rush up my thighs as her hands delicately run up them, she grips my waist tugging at my shirt slightly, pulling me to the edge of my seat. We are so close to each other one move could change whatever it is we are.
Everything inside me draws me to her lips but I force myself to ask, "What are we doing?" It always seems to be too much for Rey when we sleep next to each other, how will she cope if this becomes something more?
"I don't know, but it feels so right," She murmurs and I feel knots tie themselves through my core, anticipation gnawing at me, but I try to resist the urge.
She moves her body closer to mine; she is so close to the edge of the bed she is almost sitting in my lap. I can feel her shallow breaths against my lips, I blink my eyes closed. My heart feels as if it will burst from my chest, because it is pounding so furiously against my ribcage. She whispers something so quietly that I can't hear her.
"Hmm?" I moan, not fully aware of what is going on around me.
"Kiss me," she pines, I look at her silently asking if this is truly what she wants and she gazes back at me, her beautiful green eyes are dark and the strange fire in me burns brighter; and in that moment I'm entirely hers to command. I sigh, closing my eyes again as I run my fingers deeper into her hair, leaning so close our lips are practically touching. She brings her hands up my chest, and into my short curly hair, I relax into her as she closes the miniscule space between us.