Crazy trouble with love

Myrtle and Harry

Series: Harry Potter

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-girl's bathroom, Hogwarts-

Harry sighed as he looked around and made sure no girls were around before getting into one of the stalls. "Damn it Ron, why you never got that wand fixed is beyond me."

The reason Harry had to go to this bathroom was due to a mishap with Ron's broken wand, it accidentally gave him bad diarhea, something that made the rest of the Gryffindor's to avoid the bathroom and run off to use others. Which quickly filled and made it hard to wait in line. So only the girls bathroom was left opened. For obvious reasons.

"Boo." Said a voice from the toilet under Harry.

"AH!" he jumped, thankful he didn't drop his pants, left and held his chest while hearing a familiar giggle. "Myrtle! Don't do that."

"Sorry couldn't resist." Myrtle giggled. "Besides after you slayed the Basilisk, I've been bored...especially since it seems that I'm stuck in the mortal plane for eternity."

"Well have you heard about what happened to Ron?" he asked for curiosity sake.

"Ron? Oh you mean the redhead with the girly scream!" She laughed. "Yes I did."

"Then you know why I came here. So if it's not too much to ask, can you give me some privacy?" he asked. 'I can't believe I'm saying that while she has more right to be in here than me.'

"Ok. But you have to do me a favor." Sme chuckled. 'So cute. Especially when he asked silly questions.'

Harry felt unsure, but if he had to do something for privacy, it was worth. "Alright, deal."

"Are you sure? It's really important." Myrtle smiled.

He was about to ask, but winced. "Deal deal!"

"All right all right. Just go." She said gesturing to the stall.

He ran back in and slammed the door shut. "No peeking!"

"Hey! I'm not that desperate for looking at you with your pants down." She yelled.

"Just making sure." he spoke before it grew quiet with Myrtle floating out of the room for more privacy.

(A few minutes later)

"Are you done yet?" She asked while floating next to the sink. 'How potent was the spell?'

The stall opened and Harry walked out before washing his hands. "Yes, and thanks for letting me use the stall. But you didn't tell anyone I was here, right?"

"Nope. Oh and I will see you at five tomorrow." Myrtle smiled.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh. The favor was that you have to come here once a week. Hey I get bored too you know." She said while looking at Harry's shocked face. 'So cute.'

"Wait, so you want me to come visit you? That's it?"

"What? Want something more?" She giggled. "Like maybe scaring random girls in a Dementor cloak?"

"No, but I don't see why not. So should I come before or at five?"

"Anytime before or after five. Just bring a blanket and a good book." Myrtle smiled. "I love books….even after I died."

"Alright, sure. See ya tomorrow." he waved as he walked out of the bathroom.

"Wait, Harry you forgot to put the lid down!" She yelled to Harry. "Did you live in a barn? Come back and close it!"

Harry ran back with a blush and pushed it down and bolted out.

-five o'clock, next day-

"Myrtle? I'm here." Harry said while holding a blanket and a large tome on ghosts. "And I have a book."

Said ghost popped her head out of the wall. "Ooh, I heard that one's a good one, but a bit hard to get most of the time."

"Ah! Don't do that! You nearly gave me a heart attack." 'The sixth one this month….out of 1,723 times with my uncle and aunt.'

"Sorry." she giggled as he walked over and sat down on the floor with the book. "So. How was your day?"

"Meh, not so bad. Snape's still giving me issues, like always." he rolled his eyes.

"Really? The greasy snake is giving you problems? Ugh. Not again." Myrtle groaned.

"Trust me, dealing with him every potion's class is a nightmare." he spoke before opening the book.

"At least you can use them, I'm a ghost. I can't touch or move anything." She then looked at the book. "Wow. This guy must be a muggle since this book is nothing but hogwash."

"It's pretty good when you get into it." he remarked.

"If you say so mister 'snake charmer'." She giggled. She saw his face turn serious and she stopped. "Sorry, didn't mean to strike an old nerve."

"It's fine. You're not at fault. Voldemort is however…..oh and Voldemort is actually Tom Riddle." Harry said while chuckling a little.

"Really? The prodigy who was really the half-blood?"

"Yep. Apparently he's a pussy with a god complex."

"From what I've heard he's become quite the danger."

"You have no idea." He said while remembering the Sorcerer's stone incident. 'That head….creepy.'

Myrtle floated beside Harry and tried to get into it as they read it together. "Um…..ah...it's um….interesting?"

"You know you don't have to read it if you don't want to." he chuckled.

"But I want to. Plus….I'm bored!" Myrtle moaned while trying to look at the book without falling asleep. Or whatever ghosts do when tired.

Time slowly flew by with Harry noticing Myrtle occasionally drifting off to sleep with even a little drool.

"Myrtle. Myrtle! Wake up." He said trying to shake her, only to have his hand pass through her body. "Right, ghost." he spoke slapping himself in the head for the mess up.

"Um….candy...snakes….yum." She said while drooling a small puddle on the ground.

"Who knew ghosts could drool." he remarked to himself.

"Candy…..Harry….candy snakes…." She started nipping Harry's fingers...only to fall through his hand.

"Hey Myrtle, I'm done reading, you can wake up."

"What?...what happened to the candy?" She said confused.

"You were dreaming." he chuckled.

"So the chocolate snake…."

"Was a fake."

"And the cotton candy lake?"

"Sorry, fake too."

Myrtle moaned. "Damn it. My candy heaven was nothing but a dream….boo who."

Harry tapped his chin and mulled something over. "Hey Myrtle?"

"Yes Harry?"

"Isn't it possible for ghosts to grab objects?"

"Um….I don't know and I have been dead awhile." She sweatdropped. 'That and being denied being dead for the last 25 years.'

"Well, I'm asking cause who knows, I might have some tips you could try to see if you can interact with objects."

Myrtle looked at Harry with desperation. "TELL ME!"

"Woah, easy there." he held up his hands. "They're just some things I saw in movies, so even I'm not sure if they're possible."

"Just tell me!" She yelled with hope. 'Candy!'

"Well, I once saw that if a ghost concentrates on being solid and try imagining picking up or grabbing something, it let them make small parts of their bodies solid, but when they lost concentration, they lost the chance to hold. Not permanently, but they said it takes a lot of concentration."

"...so simple…" Myrtle said while concentrating her hands to becoming solid and the solid hands held Harry's hands. "I...I can touch again…."

He smiled before she let out a happy cry, but her hands slipped through his own again.

"Damn it….I lost concentration." She frowned.

"Told you it requires a lot of work. Don't worry, keep practicing and you should master it in no time."

"I hope so." She said. "I really want to eat again."

"Well even if you could do that, wouldn't it literally fall through your body? I think managing a full body would take much longer than your limbs."

"Aw…." She frowned with her arms touching her legs in a depressed position. "So I will have to practice eating again. Damn it all on Snape."

"Well while here you can practice and I can try giving you some confidence boosts if you need any."

Myrtle smiled slightly. "Thanks Harry."

-few weeks later-

"Hey Harry!" Myrtle smiled as she used a hand, solid, to touch his head and rub it. "Wow! It's so soft!"

"Heh, looks like someone's getting better." he smiled.

"Yep. But I still can't eat anything." She then looked at Harry. "Are you in need of advice or just wanting to talk about pranking a certain redhead?"

"Well just how far can you move around in the school?" he asked curiously.

"As far as any ghost in Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol, can." She smiled. "Why?"

"Well, we might be able to mess with some of Ron's things, I've got something in mind for him."

"Oh? Tell me please." She grinned evilly.

Harry leaned in and whispered her the idea.

"Ha ha ha! This is going to be great Harry." She laughed. "Count me in!"

(Gryffindor dorm room)

We find Ron eating like a pig on the bed while looking at a quidditch magazine. He reached for one of his sandwiches, but didn't feel anything.

"What the?" He said as the sandwich disappeared. 'Did I eat it already?'

Just then the lights turned off by some unknown force. He looked around confused and heard a low groan.

"R...o….n." It said as the lights returned...in a burst of demonic flames. "R...on! You...thief…give back...my...hand!"

"What the? Who's there!" he called out in fear.

"Give back….my hand or suffer my...curse." The voice moaned while a blast of wind hit Ron with a cold chill.

"What hand!" he called out pulling the blanket over him.

"You stole my hand and ate it ….give it back." It said as a shadow of a pig appeared, one with a missing leg. "Or become my dinner!"

"AHHHH!" he screamed bolting and running out of the room. "GHOST PIG!"

"...HA HA HA HA! Look at him run! Classic." Myrtle laughed as the lights returned to normal.

"Priceless." laughed Harry crawling out from under his bed. "Maybe that'll make him go easy on the food."

"Nice idea using the pig….but why a pig? Couldn't a fish do equal damage?" She asked while looking at Harry.

"Trust me, this is more upfront and gets the point across. If it was a fish, he might have tried eating it."

"True. I still think a ghost octopus would have been better." Myrtle said with a huff.

"Don't worry, we can save it for when he goes swimming next time."

"Fine but make it ten ghost octopuses." She grinned. "And a large chicken in the closet and you got yourself a deal."

"Why a chicken?"

"Well I heard that a news anchor got scared to death by a chicken flapping its wings near his face."

"Alright, sounds good to me."

Myrtle then looked at Harry very closely. "Such cute eyes."

"What?" he spoke in surprise.

"Oh just that you have the cutest emerald eyes." She smiled. "Any girl would fall for those eyes."

He looked away with a little blush. "Heh, thanks."

"But they also have lots of pain in them." She frowned. "Who did this to such a kind boy like you?" She then looked at Harry sternly. "Who gave you this pain?"

Harry frowned and looked at the ground. "My family."

Myrtle started growling in anger. "WHAT!"

"Look, right now I don't wanna talk about it."

"Tell me." She said blocking his path. "Or I will haunt you for eternity."

"I said no!" he shouted with a frown. "Right now it just doesn't feel like the time to discuss it, so drop it."

"...fine, but later on, talk to me. I can help." She smiled while moving closer to Harry and hugging him tight. "I really mean it."

He blushed and hugged her back before realizing. "Hey, you managed to get most of your body to touch me."

"Now I need to start eating...damn it." Myrtle said with a frown.

"But why? Really you can taste and eat, but I don't think you need to eat to survive or anything like that."

"It's a comfort thing...I just want to taste again. I haven't tasted candy for twenty-five years." She blushed.

"Well you might be able to sneak some sweets from the kitchen."

"But I couldn't taste it!" She pouted. "I can't enjoy it without tasting it."

"Hmm, well then I'd suggest training until you can taste again."

"...ok. But you have to give me candy when you come by next week." She then looked at Harry again. "Oh and Harry."

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for being my friend and killing my murderer." She smiled.

"No problem." he smiled back.

(Harry's fourth year, one day after the dance.)

He was putting his suit back in his suitcase. Only to find a pair of hands on his face.

"Guess who."

"Hmm, Luna Lovegood? No, Susan Bones?" he teased.

"Nope and nope. Try again." The voice giggled.

"Hmm, Daphne Greengrass?" He chuckled. "No wait, I got it. Cho Chang?"

"No! Not her, it's me. Myrtle Warren." The voice said with a flustered tone.

"I know." he chuckled as she pulled her hands away.

"Oh you." She laughed. "Such a kidder Harry." Myrtle then turned serious. "Is it true?"

"Hmm, is what true?"

"That Cho dumped you for that womanizer?" She glared. 'That bitch!'

"Oh, yeah." he admitted. "It's nothing.

"Like hell it is! You're a sweet young man and she dumped you for a womanizer. She should be ashamed!"

"Nah, I probably messed up somehow." he sighed sitting on his bed.

"No. You never did anything, I should know, I kept an eye on you for the last few months and you never messed up once." Myrtle glared while shaking him like a rag doll. "You are more a man than that womanizing man whore!"

"Ah! I...get…..it!" he spoke from the shaking. "Just stop shaking me!"

"Oh sorry Harry." She said while placing him on the bed. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, but what do you mean you've been keeping an eye on me?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh. Well...um...I just turned intangible and spied on you while on your dates." She blushed lightly.

"So….stalking me?"

"NO!" She blushed. "I was keeping an eye on you...I was worried ok…." She looked at Harry with a cute pout.

"Well you don't need to spy on me, I do come visit after all."

"Fine. Let the 'monsters' harm you." Myrtle frowned. "You kept talking about them while sleeping in the bathroom last week."

Harry looked at her in shock. 'She knows?!'

"I get you don't wanna talk, but talking with someone can really help you get some weight off your mind."

Harry looked away. "My aunt and uncle hates magic and imagination."

Myrtle crossed her legs and floated while paying attention.

"Heck they think that a person who acknowledges magic would be considered a 'freak' in their eyes." He frowned while rubbing his right arm unconsciously. "They also…..treated me like both a house elf and a sub-human."

"So they treated you like a slave?"

"Yes, but worse." He shook in fear. "They abused me...like I was a monster. Hitting me, stabbing me in the eyes with a pencils, letting a dog attack me, nearly biting me alive, the list goes on."

Myrtle frowned and moved closer before concentrating and hugged him.

"Gah. Too...tight...Myrtle…" He gasped for air. 'Who knew a ghost was this strong?'

"Oh, sorry." she pulled back.

"Ow. That's ok. Just try to be careful next time ok?" Harry said while smiling slightly.

"I will." she nodded.

"So...why do you think I'm a better boyfriend to Cho? I messed up-" he stopped when Myrtle glared at him.

"Please, you have a lot of good stuff. Kind and caring friend, try to do the best you can for her, make sure to be on time all the time, tries to get to know her instead of treating her like an object, need I go on?"

Harry nodded. "Please go on, if you want to that is."

"You don't hold hands unless she is comfortable with it, you try to help her in any way you can, and when you two hug you whisper sweet things in her that make her giggle."

"L-Like what?!" He blushed. 'Please tell me that Myrtle didn't hear them or I might faint from embarrassment.'

"Like 'Cho Chan' or my favorite. 'Cutely cute Cho now.'" Myrtle smiled.

'Yup, there I go.' Harry thought as he fainted right through Myrtle and onto the ground with a thump.

"Ooh, maybe I should have stopped ahead."

(Hours later)

"Arry. Harry….Potter! Wake up!"

"Uh, what?" he muttered slowly blinking his eyes. And saw Myrtle's face TOO close to his own. "AH!"

"Oh, sorry again." she floated back.

"It's fine. It's just I never had a ghost that close to my face before." Harry chuckled. "But please don't repeat what….you know."

"Calling you Potter?" She asked. 'Or just being concerned.'

"No, I mean what I said to Cho." he blushed.

"Oh!" She then laughed. "Maybe, maybe not."

He groaned.

"Hey Harry I have a secret to tell you." Myrtle grinned. "And it's a juicy one too."

"What is it?"

"That Ron is in love with a cat….Heminonies' cat." She laughed.

"Wait, he actually….." he drifted off with wide eyes.

"Just kidding. It's actually this, Did you know that Hermione thinks of you like a brother, a 'very handsome' little brother." She grinned while rolling with laughter. 'What a little brother complex!'

"Wow, hey wait! I'm pretty sure I'm older than her."

"Oh you are? Couldn't tell from the….small nature of your body." Myrtle giggled.

"Hey! I'm not that small!"

Myrtle floated next to him and checked their height to show she was an inch taller. "Yep. Small as a ant." She teased while ruffling his hair. "No wonder Hermione thinks you're younger."

"Oh ha ha." he spoke sarcastically.

"Anyway. Harry, you need to start drinking milk or you will be stuck like that forever."

"I'll be alright." he waved off.

"Oh also...look out for Malfoy. He's looking for you. Again." She groaned.

"Duly noted."

"Good. Oh and Harry. Someone out there will find you attractive. Don't give up."

"Thanks Myrtle, I needed that."

(One week later)

"Harry….um...look...I um…" Myrtle stuttered before getting it out. "I'm sorry for stealing your pants!"

"Wait what?" Harry asked confused. 'But Ron stole them, not her. Right?'

"I'm sorry for stealing your pants. But they...um...had a curse, yes! They had a curse on them and I was trying to prevent you from getting cursed." Myrtle sweated. 'Please buy it! Please!'

"Uh, and how do you know that?"

"Um…..instinct." 'Damn me and my inability to lie!'

"Instinct?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Yes...instinct…." She started to sweat ectoplasm. 'Crap. Please buy it.' "I was a student here so it's natural to have an instinct when dark magic is involved."

"Ummmmm, okay?"

'Few!' "So you forgive me?"

"Of course. Just ask me next time instead of stealing my pants."

"I swear."

"On your grave?" Harry teased.

She mock frowned and grinned before focusing and started giving Harry a noogie. "I swear on this!"

"GAH! Myrtle! Stop my hair will fall off!"

She pulled back with a giggle while Harry tried to fix his hair.

"It took hours to get this mess cleaned up." Harry grumbled. "Now it's ruined because of a cute ghost….oh crap. I just said that didn' t I?"

"Oh, so someone thinks I'm cute do they?" teased Myrtle.

"No..I mean, yes….I mean AH!" Harry blushed. 'Damn it all!'

Myrtle floated there with an amusing grin while Harry just turned away with a blush. "Aw does Harry have a crush on me?" 'Calling the Kettle black.'

"Uh, hey look the sun seems to be coming out." he spoke walking over to the window.

"What? It's still dark out." Myrtle said looking at the window before turning back to a now empty bathroom. "Damn it!"

Harry made sure he kept running till he hit the common room. "I think I lost her."

"Harry?" Heminoie asked. "What's wrong. It looks like you saw a ghost."

'Oh you don't know the half of it.'

"Oi pretty boy." Said Ron eating a fish and some meat at the same time. "Where did you run off to?"

"It's nothing Ron."

Ron just kept on eating...until a floating pig poked him on the back. "What the?"

"Dinner time!" The pig yelled with a grin, full of sharp spider like teeth.

"AHHHHH!" Ron jumped up and ran out with the Gryffindors staring at it in surprise before some started laughing at the red head.

"Your next." The pig looked at them with hunger. "Now...FEED ME MOTHERFUCKERS!"

All of them ran in fear except for Harry.

"Damn it…" The pig said as Myrtle appeared. "I thought I could scare you."

"Seeing it once wasn't gonna spook me, and a second time is just too funny."

"Well at least they will start remembering the 'Demon pig of Hogwarts' right?" She laughed while hugging Harry tight.

"You.r..squishing...me!" he gasped out. 'Damn she IS strong!'

"Oops. Sorry Harry." She loosened her grip slightly "Better?"

Harry blushed, since her chest was really close to his face, with the robes being a little loose. 'Don't stare! Don't stare!'

'He's so staring.' thought the ghost with a grin.

Just as they were about to relax. Ron came back. "What! Moaning Myrtle! What the hell are you doing here?"

"I just am." she spoke with indifference.

"But you're supposed to say in the girls bathroom!" Ron yelled a girly wine.

"No, I can move freely, I just stay there because people stay away and give me space and privacy.

"What? But that makes no sense!" He yelled. Apparently he fell asleep in history of ghosts class….again. "And why are you hugging my mate?"

"What? Ever heard of a ghost having a best friend? Or maybe a girlfriend." She half joked. 'Girlfriend...why did I just say that out loud?'

"GIRLFRIEND!" He yelled as Harry looked at Myrtle with shock. "You, a fucking ghost, having a boyfriend?!"

"Is that too hard for you to understand?"

"Of course! Ghost shouldn't fall in love!" Ron yelled before getting thrown across the room by Myrtle using her powers. "GAH! OW! FUCK! AAHH!"

"In case you forgot, I was once human!" she growled.

"Really? I thought you were a mudblood?"

Oh crap….he's dead meat!

"What did you say!" She yelled while throwing Ron across the room again. "I should tear your head off for that!"

"Eep!" Ron squeaked while pissing his pants.

"Myrtle. Calm down." Harry said while glaring at Ron, like a certain noseless dark wizard. "Ron's not worth it."

Myrtle looked between Harry and Ron before dropping the red head. "Fine, but next time he calls me that, he's going to be fed to the giant squid outside."

"Myrtle." He frowned. "No feeding anyone to the squid."

"Not even him?" She pointed to the shaking Ron.

"Yes, even him."

"Aw." She pouted. "Not even once?"

"Sorry."

Myrtle looked at Ron before slapping him. "Bastard."

Ron frowned and rubbed his cheek while Myrtle floated back over to Harry. "Stupid bitch."

"STUPEFY!" Yelled Harry in anger. The attack hit Ron and landed him on his ass. "Oh, didn't mean to put that much power in it."

"Hey Harry. Cast that spell. The botis stogigeta one. The diarrhea spell." Myrtle grinned with dark thoughts.

"You wouldn't!" Ron said shaking.

"Sorry Ron. Botis Stogigeta." Harry casted a green and brown spell at the redhead. Which caused him to look green in the face and hold his stomach in pain.

"You...bastard…." Ron groaned as he ran out of the room.

"Now that's funny." laughed Myrtle.

"Yep. And perfect revenge." Harry laughed while hugging her, and not falling through like the other times before.

"Eep!" She gasped in surprise and blushed.

"Oh! Sorry." he pulled back with his own blush. Only to be hugged again.

"Don't be. I was just surprised." She smiled. She kept the hug soft and laid her head on his shoulder.

"...Myrtle. Quick question. Are you….were you in a relationship before you died?" He blushed.

"Well no, I was the kind of girl most boys tended to avoid." spoke with a gloomy look.

"Even if you look super cute." 'Crap!'

Myrtle looked at Harry with wide eyes. "Me? Cute!"

"Uh….well yeah."

Myrtle smiled before kissing his cheek. "Thanks Harry."

Harry blushed red as he received the kiss. "A-Anytime Myrtle."

(Later that night)

Myrtle floated over Harry's bed while a large blush enveloped her face. 'Harry~' she then concentrated on her lips before kissing Harry's lips. 'So soft.'

Harry moved slightly from the kiss.

Myrtle floated away and blushed harder.

"Myr...tle….stop….licking me…." He moaned while said girl blushed at the 'inappropriate' dream he was having. "...love…you."

"L...Love?" she whispered.

"...Myrtle Warren….marry me…" He said while moving in his sleep.

At this point her face looked dark enough to resemble a light tomato.

"Please...marry….me...I love...you."

Myrtle smiled as she kissed him on the lips, enough to wake Harry up.

"M...MYRTLE!" he cried out in surprise.

"Hey Harry." She smiled while keeping her blush. "I heard you."

"Y-You did!" Harry blushed before getting kissed again.

"And I accept your proposal."

He blushed and felt her body get solid to where she managed to stay on top before pressing their lips together. All the while, Harry's lower region poked her hips.

She pulled back and grinned. "Want me to lose some layers?"

"What…" He said as she took of her robe and clothes until she was naked. Her D-cups and shaven pussy looking at Harry with all its glory. "Wow you are one hot looking nerd."

"You're not bad yourself Harry." She grinned while taking her glasses off and put them on the table. "Glasses or no glasses Harry?"

"I think you look pretty either way." he admitted.

"Aw. You're so cute." She smiled while unzipping Harry's pants revealing a really large cock. "And well endowed."

He blushed as she focused hard enough and moved her tongue against the side.

"Myrtle. That t-tickles." He moaned while groping her breasts. 'Wow. Really firm.'

"Like my breasts Harry~" she smiled before licking the tip of his cock while putting her fingers in his anus. "Well I like your butt."

"Ah!" he jumped while moaning as she licked all around the sides. "I...I didn't know you liked my butt too."

"Well it's a cute butt." Myrtle blushed while licking his cock and fingered the anus faster as Harry grabbed her breasts harder. "Gah!"

"Man, and people teased you? I bet if the boys knew you were this hot, they'd be swarming all over you."

"Like horn dogs. And I hate horn dogs." She puffed her cheeks in mock anger while fingering harder in the anus. She slowly licked across the tip and felt his ass clench around her fingers. "Ooh, someone really likes this~"

"Ah! I feel….so weird. Myrtle do you love it when I do this?" Harry said before pinching her nipples.

"Ah!" She moaned as she felt Harry's anus getting tighter around her fingers. "Go ahead and pinch them harder."

Harry looked at her confused. "You like it? Wow."

"Yep. And like this," she nipped his cock lightly. "As well~"

He tried to lean back and groaned as she slowly started to bob her head over his cock while pushing another finger ups his ass. "Gah! Myrtle….it's stretching my ass!"

She giggled and pulled her fingers out. "Well I've got something better I wanna try."

"What?" He asked while his cock got harder from the licking.

Myrtle held her breasts up and started rubbing them around Harry's cock.

"Wow….those tits….were they always this soft?" Harry blushed.

"Well if you didn't help me, you would just be feeling air." she winked.

"Oh. Right…..but why they never looked at you because of your tits is something I can't fathom." Harry then moaned slightly from the breasts moving up and down his hard cock.

"Well the robes don't exactly show off much skin." she replied before lapping her tongue across the tip and licked up some precum.

"True. Wait? Why is it that the magical world is still stuck in the 1600's and the modern world is more advance and more tolerant to others than here?" He contemplated while feeling his cock being consumed by her breasts. "It makes no sense."

"Humans are strange. Especially old goats and racist wizards that enjoy incest." Myrtle said while feeling Harry's cock twitching in between her breasts. "Ready to cum?"

"Yeah!" he groaned feeling the pressure coming up.

"Then cum." Myrtle purred as semen landed on her breasts and face. She licked the cum from her face and smiled lustfully. "Delicious." She then moved her breast of his cock and layed on top of Harry's hips.

"Myrtle." Harry blushed as she placed her folds on top on Harry's tip. "We can't. Ghost can't get…." He blushed redder.

"Pregnant? I know, but even feeling you cum inside me is as close as I'm gonna get, so make sure you don't hold any drop back."

"...ok." Harry said as Myrtles' folds engulfed his cock. "Gah! It's tight as hell!"

"Well I was a virgin." she spoke before humming. "Mmm, so this is why sex is so good."

"Well. I'm new at this too." He blushed. Only to moan from the folds squeezing his cock. "Ah! Myrtle. How tight are you?!"

"Like an anaconda." She teased only for her to cry out in pleasure. "AH~ your cock is hitting my womb!"

"Shhh!" he shushed looking around. "We might wake the others."

"Sorry." She whispered with a blush. "Naturally loud."

He grinned and reached up before squeezing her mounds while moving his hips upward. "Ngh, nice and tight. I don't think I could ever get tired of this."

"Eep! Harry stop...AH~" Myrtle moaned while feeling her juices pouring out of her pussy. "I'm getting wet~"

"That'll make it easier." he groaned moving his cock in deeper while pinching her nipples.

"Good god! Harry! Your cock is making me cum! I can't stop getting wet!" Myrtle moaned while Harry's cock became more lubricated from the juices. "Go faster!"

"Ok miss juices." He teased while trusting his cock faster into her womb. "Gah! Myrtle. I feel your womb….it's so wet."

"Mmm, squeeze all my of my breast, not just my nipples."

Harry nodded before squeezing the breasts with lust. "My my."

"What?"

"If you were still alive, I can just imagine the many little Harry's sucking on them." He smiled before sucking on both nipples.

"Ah! Well then there wouldn't be any for you to suck." she purred moving her hips up and down on his cock faster. "Go ahead and bite on them if you like."

Harry nodded while biting hard on the nipples.

"AH! That hurts...oh wait I'm dead." She chucked as she felt her folds twitching. "Harry, cum inside this ghostly slut~"

"Well remember, you're a cute, sexy, ghostly slut." he joked slamming inside one more time.

"HARRY~" Myrtle cried out as her womb became engulfed with cum, making her form look like a nine month pregnant woman. "Ah...so much…~"

"Woah…..I was…..really backed up…." panted Harry leaning back on the bed, feeling more tired than ever.

"Yep. Oh and I think," she then grabbed a pen and rammed it inside her folds. "I will hold on to this form until I scare the students tomorrow at breakfast."

"I don't think a pen is gonna hold all that." he chuckled.

"Then do you have a better suggestion?" She giggled.

"A plug?" he tried.

"I was thinking….a book." She said perversely.

(Next morning, Grand Hall)

"Good morning students." Dumbledore said as the students looked at him. "Enjoy this meal for today is-"

"Harry's wedding!" Yelled a voice.

The students were surprised and looked around in confusion. Only to find...a nine month Moaning Myrtle walking into the hall.

"What are you looking at? And where's the wedding presents?" She mocked glared.

"Moaning Myrtle?" muttered some of the students in confusion.

"Yes it's me you idiots. Now where is my wedding presents? Or did you forget. Harry!" She cried crocodile tears while hugging him. "They forgot our wedding!"

The students were even more shocked as said boy rubbed her back.

"There there dear, they probably didn't get the invites."

"But I spent hours making them!" She cried while smirking under her hair. "Did Snape destroy them?!"

The students were really confused with some looking at said teacher.

"What are you looking at? I never heard of Potter having a relation, much less getting married." The professor glared.

"Harry! I ….I…." She then giggled quietly before falling on the ground. "The baby…"

"What! It's COMING now!" He mocked freaked out as the students panicked.

"She's giving birth!?" cried McGonagall in shock as no one knew what to do considering ghosts couldn't give birth.

"Ah!" She cried as she pushed hard and a book with the title, Fooled you, came out of her and flew across the room, hitting Malfoy, Ron (three times), Snape and then Dumbledore before the book landed on the floor. "The baby is here!"

Everyone blinked in confusion with Myrtle and Harry openly laughing out loud while holding their sides.

"Got you!" Harry laughed.

"You just got pranked!" Myrtle laughed out loud.

Everyone looked at them before laughing as well….well almost everyone.

"HARRY POTTER! MYRTLE WARDEN!"

"Well...bye." They said before the book exploded in a dust cloud of ash and semen. Leaving the hall covered in the stuff as both Harry and Myrtle disappeared from the room.

"Yuck! There's white stuff in my chicken!" Yelled Ron not knowing what the semen actually was.

"Uh, that's actually…" started Hermione before grimacing as Ron kept eating. "Nevermind."

The students and teacher also grimaced from the sight. Each one thinking. 'What a disgusting pig!'

"Hahahaha! That was hilarious!" laughed Harry in his room.

"Yep! Especially after seeing their faces when I 'gave birth' to our son!" Myrtle laughed while letting the excess semen fall onto the floor….which went through it and covered Ron's bed. "So want to go another round~?"

"You read my mind."

"Oh and Harry….let's do it on, snort, Snape's bed." She laughed.

"Might be a bad idea, with so much grease in his hair it might have soaked into the pillow and sheets."

"True...Malfoys'?" She suggested.

"Fine. But you have to scare him out first." Harry grinned.

"Consider it done."

"I love you Myrtle." Harry smiled.

"I love you too, Harry." Myrtle said before kissing his lips.

(Time skip)

We find ourselves back in the girls bathroom, but with one difference. There was more tears than normal flooding the place.

"Harry…..Harry…." sobbed Myrtle sitting on one of the stalls while curled up.

During the final battle against Voldemort, he and Harry had one final stand off with Harry ending the dark lord, but the strain was too much for him and his core, causing him to give out and lose his life just as the Death Eaters fled.

Myrtle heard the news from a student and she first denied it, then started begging them that it wasn't true, then attacking everyone in pure anger, and now...she was crying for her lover's death. She didn't go out and watch them carry the body away for fear of breaking down and losing her mind.

"Harry…." She sniffled only for a familiar voice to call out.

"Myrtle? Getting emotional again?"

Her head shot up and she stared at seeing Harry floating in front of her and was translucent as her.

"Myrtle? Why are you looking at me with that glare?" He backed away nervous.

"HARRY!" she shouted flying over and tackling him while hugging him while tears of joy, happiness, relief, and anger poured out of her eyes.

"Oof! Myrtle. What's wrong? I'm here." He said while hugging back.

"Harry! Oh thank god you're here." she sobbed into his chest. Well….before looking at Harry in anger. "WHY DID YOU GO AND DIE ON ME YOU BLOODY IDIOT!"

"Sorry, I went a little farther than I wanted." he spoke while rubbing her back.

"You idiot Potter….you nearly gave me a second death!" She sobbed while hugging tighter than any other time they have been together.

"Gah!...Myrtle…...need…..air…"

"You're dead! You idiot! You don't need air anymore!" She glared. "Can you still touch objects?"

"Not sure, I've only been a ghost for a few hours." he replied.

"Well." She slapped him. "NEVER DO THAT AGAIN YOU BASTARD!"

"Ow!" he rubbed his cheek. "Sheesh, I said I'm sorry! Besides, I was real close to going into the light when I died you know."

"...I forgive you." She said before slapping again. "But if you do that again, I will make it so you WISH that you died a second time."

"Well, I guess since you're mad, I could just forget the words my parents said when they heard I wasn't ready to go." he mock shrugged.

"What?" She said shaking Harry. "Please tell me! I'm sorry for slapping you!"

"Calm down." he chuckled holding her shoulders. "I'm not mad. When I saw my parents I wanted so badly to go, but I told them I had something more important I couldn't leave behind, they took a guess, and gave me some last minute advice."

"What advice?" She asked interested.

"They said, 'Harry, if this is about that cute girlfriend of yours, then go ahead and stick around for her. Just be careful, any woman can be a real time bomb'. That last part was from my dad, before my mom slapped him and said 'good luck'."

Myrtle looked at Harry before kissing him. "Harry. Since we are dead….are we….sexually compatible?" She blushed at the last part.

"I'm pretty sure holding you means we can still snog." he joked.

"Harry." She mocked glared. "That was a bad joke you bloody ghost."

"Well, since we've got about a lot of time, care to find out just how long we can last?" he grinned hugging her close.

"Sure...Harry." She smiled as she hugged back.

Both ghosts hugged, from now until eternity.