June 15, 1995
"Well, boys, here we are. I wasn't planning for this, so one of you's gotta sleep on the couch until we can get another room set up," Bobby said as he pushed open the door to his house.
Their new home.
Dean stepped into the front room and looked around. It hadn't changed much from the last time he'd seen it a couple of years ago. Still cluttered, still dusty, and still full of stacks upon stacks of very old books. He set down the box he was carrying and slung his duffel bag onto the end of the couch. "No problem," he said. "I can sleep here as long as I need to."
Sam gave Dean a look but didn't argue. He probably knew it was pointless.
The drive up from Kansas had been long – the longest Dean had ever driven in one shot in the short time since he'd gotten his license. He and Sam had followed Bobby's ancient pickup to South Dakota in the Impala. It was a weird feeling driving so far with just the two of them in the car.
Bobby dropped his boxes near Dean's, and Sam followed suit. Pulling off his ball cap, Bobby ran his fingers through his thinning hair, smoothing it back before replacing the cap. "Well, now that we're here, there's someone I want you boys to meet."
From his tone, Dean could tell it was someone special that he wanted to introduce them to. Did Bobby have a girlfriend? Gross.
Bobby closed his eyes, and almost immediately, there was an angel in the room with them. Dean stepped back in shock. Bobby had an angel?
The angel looked at them with kind, brown eyes and gave them a gentle smile. Though his dark skin was unlined, there was gray peppered in his hair and beard, and his halo was dim. He seemed...old.
"Hello," the angel greeted them. His voice was raspy but warm and sort of fuzzy. "My name is Joshua."
Sam broke through his stunned surprise before Dean. He held out a hand and said, "Hi, I'm Sam Winchester. It's nice to meet you." His eyes were wide and full of awe.
Joshua turned expectantly to Dean.
"I'm Dean." He didn't offer to shake hands. "I didn't know Bobby had an angel," he added, shooting an accusing look his way.
Bobby made a rude noise. "That's your dad's doing, not mine. Even after all these years, he won't come anywhere near here if Joshua's around... Wouldn't," he corrected himself.
Anger at his dead father burned in Dean's stomach. "It wasn't enough to keep Gabriel away from us? We couldn't even know about Joshua?"
Bobby sighed sadly. "Your dad... He thought he was protecting you."
Dean clamped his jaw shut and refused to say anything more, the anger simmering hot in his belly.
Then Sam piped up, his curiosity impossible to stifle. "So, Joshua? Can I ask you about angel stuff? I've read a lot, but I have a bunch of questions."
With a chuckle, Joshua replied, "Of course. I'm happy to answer any questions you have. But you folks have quite a bit of unpacking to do yet, and I know Bobby at least is hungry. If you like, I'll return tomorrow to talk."
Sam looked a little bit bummed that he had to wait, but he nodded, "That'd be cool."
"I have a whole mess of books on angel lore, too," Bobby offered. "You're welcome to read anything I got, though it ain't all in English."
"That's great. Thanks!" Sam said. Dean was glad to see him smiling. He hadn't done much of that since Dad died.
Joshua addressed Bobby. "I'm sorry to leave you to move all those boxes, but I'm needed soon in my garrison."
"Raid?"
Pursing his lips, Joshua nodded. He gave Bobby a significant look. "You know I'm not on the front lines anymore."
Bobby grunted unhappily. "Yeah, but that don't mean I don't worry."
Joshua turned to Sam and Dean, giving them a nod of farewell. "It was nice to meet you both. I'll see you soon."
"Bye!" Sam waved.
"Later," Dean said, far less enthusiastic than Sam, even though none of this was Joshua's fault.
Joshua patted Bobby on the shoulder before he vanished, off to go battle demons or whatever angels did in their spare time.
Dean glared at the floor. It sucked that Dad kept Joshua a secret from them. It sucked that he'd banished Gabriel from their lives. And now it sucked to realize that Castiel wouldn't be free to visit whenever he wanted because Bobby had a stupid angel. And he had no idea how he was supposed to warn Cas of the danger.
A thought wormed its way in, but he immediately shut it out. There was no way he could tell Bobby and Joshua about Cas. An angel had nearly killed Cas already. He couldn't take the risk.
That evening, while Dean was helping him put fresh sheets on his new bed, Sam asked the question Dean had been struggling with since they'd arrived.
"What are we gonna do about Castiel and Joshua?" he asked, his forehead crinkled in worry.
They could hear Bobby banging around in the kitchen downstairs, but Dean shot a nervous glance at the bedroom door anyway. He replied in a whisper, "I got no idea. I know Cas can take care of himself, but we gotta let him know so he doesn't get caught off guard."
Sam shook out the folded flat sheet and floofed it out across the bed, looking thoughtful. "Have you tried praying to him? I know he said he doesn't hear prayers, but maybe you can get the idea of it across anyway."
"I dunno, I guess I could try." Dean frowned, remembering how upset Castiel had been when Dean had first mentioned prayer to him all those years ago. He sighed and tucked the ends of the sheet in place before throwing the quilt back on the bed in a heap for Sam to sort out. "Joshua said he wouldn't be back until tomorrow, right? It should be safe enough to try to call Cas here to explain in person."
"You should go out to the scrap yard. If you do it in the house, Bobby might see you on accident."
Dean chucked the pillow at Sam's face. "Good idea. You coming, too?"
Sam caught the pillow, and as he struggled to stuff it into its pillowcase, he said, "Naw, I'll stay here and keep Bobby busy. I want to see what angel books he's got anyway."
They finished up the bed and went downstairs. Dean waited until he heard Sam get Bobby talking about angel lore, then slipped out the front door. He moved through the rows of mangled machinery in the yard until he was well out of sight of the house. Near the back fence, he found the remains of an old Impala not too different from his own. Under the yellow security lights, it looked brown, but he thought it might actually be red. It'd been a two-door coupe and the whole back end of the car was smashed. The front wasn't too badly damaged, though, so Dean climbed up to sit on the hood and looked up at the sky.
It was nearly dark out, but there were only a couple of feeble looking stars visible yet. Of course, with the glare of the lights, it wasn't exactly the best place for stargazing anyway.
Dean closed his eyes and prayed. "Castiel? Cas, can you hear me? I need to talk to you."
He glanced around, but there was no sign of him. Shutting his eyes, he tried again. "Come on, Cas, please! It's important. It's not safe for you here."
Once again, Dean found himself frustratingly alone in the junkyard. The anger he'd been feeling flared up again, but now he was mad at everything, not just his dad. He knew perfectly well he was being unreasonable, but it didn't matter – he was pissed and frustrated and all of this sucked.
"Dammit, Cas!" he yelled. "I need you!"
"Dean?"
Startled, Dean whipped his head around to find Bobby giving him the hairy eyeball. "Bobby! I, uh... thought you were inside with Sam."
"Well, I was, until your brother got mighty damn squirrelly when I asked him where you thought you were headed to at this time of night. So what are you doing out here?"
Shrugging his shoulders, Dean gave a non-verbal 'I don't know' noise. Fire burned in his cheeks at getting caught. At least Cas hadn't shown and gotten caught with him.
"Who's Cas?"
"Huh?" Dean fumbled to come up with any kind of answer, but his pulse was thudding so loud in his ears, he couldn't think.
Bobby squinted at him a little sideways. "Is it a girl? Someone you liked back home?"
That was as good a lie as any. Dean shrugged again.
Pressing his lips into a line, Bobby nodded. "I'm sorry, boy. I know it's tough. Hard enough losing your dad, but having to pull up stakes and leave everything you know behind, too. If you ever want to talk..." He trailed off uncomfortably, then jabbed a thumb over his shoulder and said, "I'm gonna head back in. Let you...you know. Whatever. You know where to find me."
"Yeah." Dean kept his eyes down. "I'll be in soon."
Bobby stood there for a second, probably staring him down, but then he turned and headed back toward the house. Dean looked up once Bobby was a good distance away and watched until he disappeared around a row of smashed pickups.
"Dean?"
Biting back a yelp of surprise, Dean jerked his head around to find Castiel on the other side of the Impala. "Dammit, Cas! You about gave me a heart attack," he whispered harshly.
Cas blinked and took a step back. "I'm sorry, I thought-"
"Shit... No, I'm sorry. It's been a crap day, and I shouldn't've snapped at you." Dean leaned forward to brace his elbows on his knees. "I need to talk to you, though, so I'm glad you came."
"What's wrong? I know you're frustrated and angry."
Dean squirmed at the reminder that Cas always knew how he was feeling. "Yeah, um. It turns out Bobby has an angel."
"What?" Cas hissed as his whole body tensed – his wings half spread, his hand on the knife at his belt, and his eyes darting around frantically.
"It's okay, he's not here tonight. My dad-" he spat the word, "-kept him away from us. I didn't even know about him until today."
Though still wary, Cas relaxed a little. "Thank you for warning me."
Dean tipped his head in a shrugging nod. "I didn't want you getting hurt again. Or Joshua, either, I guess. In any case, be careful, okay?"
"I will." Cas tilted his head in question. "Is everything all right, Dean?"
Sighing heavily, Dean replied, "Yeah, it's fine. I'm just pissed. Everything's been so messed up for so long, and it's all my dad's fault, and I'm just so damn mad. This Joshua thing was the last straw, I guess."
"I know your father has done many things to hurt you, but I don't believe that's why you're angry." Castiel folded his wings back and leaned a hip against the car. "You're angry because he left you," he said bluntly.
Shaken, Dean stared at Cas. "What?"
"You feel as though he abandoned you by dying. But you should remember that this, at least, he didn't do intentionally." Cas's eyes were fixed on Dean's, an anchor for Dean to cling to.
"Intentional or not, he's still gone, Cas!" Dean insisted. "If he hadn't banished Gabriel-" He cut himself off. He'd never told Cas that he'd once had an angel, too. The realization made him uncomfortable, as if he'd been deliberately lying to his friend this whole time.
"Demons killed him. He didn't leave you." Cas took a step closer and gripped Dean's upper arm. "And you're not alone, Dean. You have Sam, and you have Bobby. And me."
Dean's eyes focused on the hand at his shoulder. It was true. Cas had been there for Dean since he was four years old – maybe not the whole time, but certainly when he needed him the most.
He shrugged, not trusting himself to say anything.
Cas let him go and backed away a couple of steps. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't interfere. Thank you for the warning about the angel. I'll return when I can."
"No, Cas, don't go," Dean said. "Please? Would you just... hang out here for a while?"
Cas gave a slow nod. "If you wish."
Dean scooted up on the car's hood, leaning back against the windshield. Cas climbed up, too, a little hesitantly at first, but settled down beside Dean, tucking his wings to the sides to keep from squashing them. The warmth and pressure of Cas's feathers against Dean's arm was comforting, soothing the anger still bubbling in his gut.
Frowning up at the few visible stars, Dean considered what Cas had said. Yes, his dad was gone, but he did still have people in his life who were important to him. He glanced over at Cas's shaggy-haired profile as he looked up to the sky. Cas was right. Instead of resenting what he'd lost, he should focus on what he still had.