I don't wake again until later in the night, even though the window is letting in a slight breeze I find myself somewhat sweaty. I slowly sit up, my right shoulder and back protesting in pain; being in same position all night has caused my scars to cramp. The only light in the room is emitted by the moon, which peaks through a small gap where the drapes don't meet. I push through the uncomfortable stretching until I am sitting up high enough to look upon the bed. Rey sleeps with her back to me, on the side closest to the bathroom door, her body concealed by a single sheet; it being too hot to sleep under more. I stand up pacing quietly to the table near the bed; I take off my shirt and pants, instantly feeling cooler, I grab the bed shorts off the chair where I had left them and pull them over my underclothing. Without a second thought - and regardless of how she may treat me in the morning - I tip-toe around to the other side of the bed. As quietly as I can I ease myself under the sheet and rest my head on the pillow. I stay on my side, facing Rey; my muscles immediately relax, thanking me for the comfort of the soft mattress. I gaze upon her for a moment, a strange, sad smile comes across my lips as I see the way she looks so tranquil, I just hope she isn't having any nightmares. I decide to roll around and face away from her, closing my eyes and allowing a peaceful sleep to finally arrive. However, it doesn't last very long; I feel my shoulder shake under the grip of a gentle touch. I moan slightly, desperately needing to sleep, the past few hours had been more eventful than I am used to.

"Finn?" I can hear the disbelief in her voice. I roll back around and face her, there is a large space between us, "I thought you would leave," I groan in frustration, then sigh deeply.

"I know you're used to being alone, and I know it is hard for you to understand that I am not going to leave you like everyone else has. Believe me I couldn't walk away from you, even if I wanted to - I know that now. Rey I don't want to leave; and I'll sleep on the damned floor to prove it." She stays silent, appearing so much smaller than she is on her far side of the bed. I close my eyes and pull the sheet up to my chin, rolling my head down into the pillow.

"Finn…" She mumbles quietly, and I can't help but smile a tiny smile.

"Yes, Rey?" I counter with a mock flat tone.

"You're right," she whispers.

"I know I'm right," I reply arrogantly.

"I don't want to be alone, but…" her voice fades and I look back up at her, she is barely visible in the moonlight but I notice the way her eyes shine with tears and I lose all ability to remain overconfident. I reach my hand out into the darkness, and she takes it, shattering the space between us. "Finn, I'm not allowed to feel the way I do about you," My emotions are conflicted. My heart flutter happily before it slowly sinks down into the pit of my stomach where it then starts to ache.

"What do you mean?" I ask, intertwining our fingers.

"Jedi, are not supposed to form deep connections, everything needs to be in an equal equilibrium," Rey says quietly.

"Why?"

"It's just the way it is supposed to be, we have to be impartial,"

"I know the tales Rey: Luke was never neutral, he would always go running to save the people that were important to him,"

"That was different," Rey coolly remarks.

"How? He left training to save the people he cared about. General Hux gave speeches about how close Darth Vader was to winning his son over to the dark side, how they fought on Cloud City," I run my thumb along hers.

"And he lost his hand because of it. Finn, he wasn't ready, he wasn't in control of his emotions yet,"

"So you're saying you're not in control of yours either?" I see her shrug her shoulders in the moonlight, "What about when you are in control, what happens then?"

"I don't know, but deep feelings lead to reckless behaviour, and reckless behaviour leads to the dark side, and neither of us wants that," she sighs.

"Rey, it isn't fair you're denied the opportunity to have passion and care for people around you, the people who care about you… people who find it hard to breathe when you're gone," the words slip out of my mouth. Rey tries her best to ignore it but I hear the way she takes a sharp breath.

"I should let go of my emotions, they're too dangerous," I close my eyes for a brief moment.

"You told me you wanted to be happy, that you didn't care about what Luke said," she stays quiet for a moment, "You told me you didn't want to push me away…"

"I know I did, but that was before you left," she takes a quick breath, "You said you didn't want to run anymore, yet you walked out that door," she adds quietly.

"Rey, listen to me, I thought I could leave, for a moment it made sense, but then I realised I was a fool," I don't know how else to explain it to her, she just doesn't seem to understand.

"Maybe it does make sense; maybe it would just be easier if you left," Her voice holds no assertion; I know she doesn't believe a word she is saying.

"Rey," I groan, "You can't keep doing this," I slowly inch closer to her, closing the space between us. "One minute you tell me you don't want to be alone," I tug her hand slightly which brings her a little bit closer to me, "Then the next you want me to leave."

"I'm sorry,"

"I'm sorry too, but we can't keep doing this…" Our foreheads are almost touching, and I try to ignore the heat that spread through my body at her close proximity. My voice is hoarse and deep with my need for her, "We both know we miss each other when we are apart," My voice is dry and I see the way Rey's eyes darken and flicker to my lips, "Why do we keep putting ourselves through it?" I whisper. Rey no longer seems to be listening, her focus is entirely on my lips, I lick them instinctively. She takes that as an invitation and presses her lips softly to mine; I close my eyes as she takes her hand out of my grip and she cups my jaw with it, the tips of her fingers softly delve into my short curly hair. I'm lost in the moment, sighing into the kiss. I never knew just how amazing it would feel to have someone else's lips on mine. Especially someone like Rey's, hers are so gentle and seem to bring the light to the darkest parts of me; my hand rubs along Rey's waist subconsciously.

I'm soon pulled back into reality and realise this is only making things more complicated. I murmur her name in between kisses as an attempt for her to stop, but she takes it as praise and continues. I softly push against her shoulder; her lips still puckered as they part from mine. "Rey," I say sternly, continuing to rub her waist slowly. "What are you doing, you're not making any sense,"

"I don't know. The only thing that makes sense to me is just how much I want you…" The way her hand caresses my jaw and runs deeper into my hair makes it incredibly hard to concentrate.

"Talk to me, I can help you figure it out," I ignore the way she looks at me in the moonlight, her eyes almost black and her teeth running over her lips. Before I lose my inhibitions, I awkwardly lean over her and switch on the small beside light. She is flooded in the soft orange glow and if she didn't sigh and sit up slightly I wouldn't have been able to resist her. I sit up higher too, pressing my elbow into the pillow and leaning my head on my hand so I look slightly down upon her.