Chapter 16: It's Complicated

Oh, I bet you thought that I was soft and sweet / You thought an angel swept you off your feet / Well I'm about to turn up the heat / I'm here for your entertainment - Adam Lambert

A Tuesday in late October found Riley alone in the bunker again. She had run through a routine Dean had set her on. Including running, combat forms, and some knife work. She had just finished and gotten into the shower when she heard the sound of wings.

If she had to guess, it would definitely be Gabriel. Castiel knew Sam and Dean were gone, and he generally didn't seek her out individually. So it was likely the whiskey eyed archangel.

Luckily, whomever it was had appeared in the hallway, not the bathroom. Though the sound of the door opening had Riley's eyebrows climbing. "Gabriel, I will strangle you if you try and peek." Her voice rose over the water.

"You always know just what to say, gummy bear."

Riley rolled her eyes at his obvious over flirtation. "Uh huh…." She pulled the curtain back slightly, so she could get a look at her guest, but not enough for him to *ahem* get a peek at her. "So, why are you interrupting my shower time?"

He was leaning against the sink, arms crossed. "Maybe I needed a shower too." His gaze met hers and his eyebrow raised. "I'm dirty." He said it naughtily.

"Funny."

"You're more fun when you flirt back." He pouted at her.

"I'm generally not naked and wet when…." She trailed off, blushing. "Scratch that." But knowing he never would.

"Oh no. That's permanently etched in my memory." He was grinning.

She groaned, "Why are you here, Gabriel?" She could move past it. Yep. Totally.

"Thought I'd check in. Cas said Samsquatch and that others are out for a while."

"Were you worried about me?" She was teasing, but when he met her eyes, she realized that was exactly why he was there. "Oh." She murmured. "I…um…" She cleared her throat. "Thank you."

When she glanced back she realized his gaze was no longer focused on her eyes. "Shhhh. Don't ruin this for me," he said, voice only slightly teasing.

Riley blinked, "What?" Glancing away from him, she realized via her reflection in the mirror that she was showing more than she'd have liked. She made an unhappy sound and pulled the curtain to cover herself again. "I hate you a little," she muttered. Though in all honestly, it wasn't like she wasn't flattered he was looking.

"Ah… sugar, you're a spoilsport."

"Shut it Gabriel." Still, she found herself flushing in a good way. If she'd really been upset, she would have kicked him out of the bathroom until she'd finished showering.

"So, I'm up for a recharge. I get some time off till by grace is back." He sagged a bit against the counter, sounding tired.

Riley peaked out again, noticing that he looked tired too. "You're draining a lot more of your grace than you should, aren't you?"

He shrugged, "Probably. But there's not really any other way."

"Can I do anything?"

"No. Not yet. You're still growing into your powers. You're getting there, but it will still take time."

"I wish I could help," she murmured.

"I know. I wish you could too. I'd really like it if you were in Heaven with me. "

Riley wondered if he knew how that sounded. She did. And she really liked it. Her cheeks pinkened again.

"But it'll be awhile before you can make to Heaven." He cleared his throat. "So, anyway, you and me, movie night?"

"That sounds great. Give me five to dry off and dress?" She asked.

"Of course." He didn't move though.

"Alone, Whiskey."

He laughed, "You're so cruel, gumdrop."

"Why don't you magic us up some popcorn and candy?"

"Your wish is my command." He gave a small bow and disappeared from the bathroom.

Riley sighed, leaning into the warm water. She gave herself a moment to wonder that her life had come to this. That it didn't bother her that Gabriel had been hanging around while she showered?

Normally, she wouldn't let a guy in like that unless they were in some form of relationship. Something more than friendship.

Still, she hadn't had a serious boyfriend in a long while, so in some ways she savored the feeling of attraction and closeness. And it wasn't like Gabriel was anywhere close to normal.

So she didn't try to tamp down the fluttering in her tummy at the idea of curling up on the couch with him and having a quiet night. Though any night with Gabriel was likely not to be quiet…..

Smirking, Riley reached for her towel, only to realize that there were no longer towels in the bathroom. "Gabriel!" She growled. "Give it back." Though she found laughter wanted to bubble up from his antics.

A moment later, a poofy white towel appeared on the towel rack. 'Well at least he makes up for it by giving me hotel quality.' She sighed, wrapping the luxurious thing around herself and going to get dressed.

Riley had briefly considered walking out and engaging him in a discussion about…. well, that subject. The dreaded talk. The one where the pinned down a label.

Because it was about time for them to talk about what exactly they were. It was not going to be a fun talk. It was going to be awkward. But their constant flirting and the symbols on their wrists, and everything.

Just everything.

She really needed to know, needed to be able to put whatever they were in a box. Friends? Family? More?

Yet, she couldn't bring herself to bring it up. Sure, she had always counted herself as being able to tackle the hard talks, to not walk away from challenges, but she didn't want to disrupt what they had. It was so nice right now. Being able to just relax with Gabriel. With the world around her having changed so drastically, she need some semblance of sameness in her life.

If she brought it up, then things would change.

And she didn't want that yet.

Soon, but not yet.

So when she entered the little man-cave, she pushed all thoughts of labels from her mind. Which wasn't hard as Gabriel had gone all out on the theater experience. There was soda, popcorn, and candy on the table. Not surprisingly it was a rather large assortment of theater candies. The room had been redone to resemble a theater and a movie screen now dominated the entirety of a wall.

"Hey sugar plum." Gabriel huffed out a laugh, "I like-y."

She had donned her new top, though more because it was on top of her clothing stack, and not because she'd hoped he'd notice. Still, she just enjoyed his pleasure. She let a smile dominate her face as she settled down onto the couch next to him. She leaned back and rested her head against his shoulder. He wrapped one arm around her, and she settled into his embrace.

Gabriel snapped his fingers and the tv came on and lights dimmed. "So, movie?" He asked. At her nod, the beginning credits of the newest superhero blockbuster started to roll. "Okay?"

"Good." She murmured.

The movie played for a while. She enjoyed it, though she found herself more enthralled with the way the dim lights seemed to make Gabriel's hair appear more golden than its usual honey brown. And the way the colors caught in his eyes, making it appear like the northern lights were encapsulated in a whiskey colored sky.

Riley probably would have been blushing on any given day, but she found herself not at all embarrassed or nervous. Instead, she just wished he'd turn toward her and kiss her.

She was fairly sure he knew by now that she wanted to.

Yet, he didn't. And she was okay with that too.

But it was a bit odd, because it was like his gaze was thoroughly fixed on the screen, and if she didn't know better, she'd swear he was transfixed by the movie. That was unlike the archangel, who had a habit of bouncing about and adding commentary to even the most serious scene. Not tonight though.

Plus having spent so much time around him, she noticed the tiny tick in his jaw every time she wet her lips. Or the way his eyes narrowed on the screen when she ran her hand through her hair. Or the way his wings had stretched around her, almost pulling her more thoroughly against him. So he noticed her watching him. And he was doing nothing about it.

She felt both happy and annoyed. She liked the status quo, yet sometimes she swore he was interested. And even though she didn't want to have the talk yet, kissing would be okay. Yes kissing would be nice.

But then again, as an archarngel, for all she knew, his flirting, the cuddling, the mark on her wrist…. also the general all-around sweetness could be how he showed affection to all humans.

Ha. She snorted internally. She knew exactly how he treated Sam and Dean. So she very much doubted she wasn't some form of something to him. It was still worth considering, but later.

Sighing, Riley let her gaze flicker back to the screen and let her mind drift away from the vexing creature next to her.

This is why they needed to talk. Just not yet.

They'd finished off a couple bowls of candy and most of the popcorn, and the sugar rush had come and gone, leading to a crash. It was toward the end of the movie that Riley finally started to drift off to sleep, and her head lulled back against his shoulder.

Gabriel shifted slightly, so his nose was pressed into her hair. "You smell really good." He murmured quietly, taking a deep breath in.

"Mhmm." She burrowed her face against his shoulder.

"Yeah." He breathed. "My thoughts exactly." Sighing, he snapped his fingers and the room righted itself to normal. The snacks disappeared. The movie stopped. Biting his lip, he slid her more thoroughly into his arms and stood from the couch, cradling her sleeping form against him.

Gabriel tried not to think about the fact that she felt like she belonged against him. That her quiet gaze during the movie had made him want to press her against the couch and kiss her.

But her gaze had also unnerved him.

The fact was that Riley saw him as a better person than he actually was, and it was maddening. Worse still, every time she'd look at him and smile, he'd want to live up to the person she thought he was.

This of course was the worst part. He doubted he could ever change. Could ever be who she thought he was. Sure he didn't plan to run again. But he was a trickster. A runaway angel who had spent most of his long life hiding from his family. He was broken. And she deserved better.

Yet, he found himself getting closer and closer to the newly made angel. It was like she had been thrown in his path just to drive him insane. Or to drive him to finally acting like the archangel he was supposed to be.

If he wasn't sure that his father…. Chuck….. had really and truly abandoned him, he would almost swear that Riley had been set before him on purpose.

Instead she was temptation incarnate.

And he was failing. Miserably. He had almost kissed her in the alley. Had wanted to kiss her tonight. But he swore to himself he wouldn't. She was little more than a fledgling by angel standards. And as a human, well, then she should be given the chance to find a soul mate like all the other humans.

Still, there was something that kept drawing him back.

He really should just wash his hands of her, fly off to Heaven and lay low. Let some other angel take over her training. But…. The soft form of her in his arms felt so right.

Her soul was lovely and she was engaging and sweet and smart. She was cheeky, and snarky. She didn't roll over; and would often times push back when he either went too far or was truly bothering her.

He liked her. It was that simple. And that complicated.

Angels rarely formed long term bonds, but it did happen. And the idea of having someone that would be by his side for eternity….. it was so damn alluring.

But he couldn't have her. Her human soul meant she wasn't for him. She was meant for someone who didn't run away from their problems. Who didn't have a crazy complicated homicidal cosmic family. No, she was meant for a person who could give her 2.5 picket fences, a kid, and a… dog. 'I think I have that wrong.' He sighed. Either way, she was not meant for him.

Even though he trained her, couldn't stop himself from flirting with her, or generally being around her…. Even though he'd marked her and let her mark him…. He hoped he could find a way to remove her grace and make her human. Send her back to a normal life, where she could forget there were monsters. Let her fall in love…. With someone else.

She deserved that.

She did not deserve a failure like him.

He'd known from the moment he'd met her that he'd fail her too. He remembered her fear back in her apartment that first day. She had been so small and scared. He'd wanted to gather her close and promise to protect her. Her pretty little soul calling to him in a way that few human souls had been able to do over the years. He'd known he couldn't save her.

Yet she hadn't died. She survived. And smiled. And joked with him.

He'd felt pride swell up when she'd looked at him with a form of worship when he'd said he was in fact the archangel Gabriel. Sure, he'd been quick to explain that he wasn't at all like what she'd expect. But she'd still gazed at him with masked awe. It was something he hadn't felt in a long time. And even though the awe had given way, she still made him feel like a big deal.

He'd loved the way she'd used humor to overcome her fear. The way she'd pressed her lips together, rolled her shoulders, and jumped right into figuring the whole thing out. The way she'd nodded and accepted that he was what he said he was.

And she'd made him pancakes.

If he'd been what she'd needed, what she wanted, what she deserved….. well, he would be able to erase all of that. To have saved her in the first place. But that wasn't him.

Gabriel deposited her sleeping form onto her bed, and before he could stop himself, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her cheek. Riley sighed in her sleep and cuddled into her pillow.

Yeah…. She wasn't for him. But that didn't stop him from wishing.