I spent an hour generally fixing and tidying the club room. Rivers left the room so quickly. My feeling knew something was up. It felt like he was hurting. I feel like Natsuki also had something to do with it, since Natsuki acted extra angry today. But I really can't worry right now, their rainclouds or mine.

Or the sky's.

I walk home and knock on Rivers's door. Maybe he wanted to come outside and go to an amusement park. But his little sister, Clementine, answered the door.

"Oh...um, hey, Clem. Where's Rivers?" I asked her.

"He left. He said he was going to get cake batter. But he left with some rope and his passport." Clementine responded in an innocent voice.

"Okay. Well, if you see him, tell him Sayori was here, okay?" I say, sweetly.

"Okay, bye!" and she closes the door.

Rope and a passport? When did those two ever go together? I went inside for food, but I saw some mail was hanging out the mailbox. It was mostly junk mail, furniture catalogs from when Rivers tricked me into signing it, making me think it was an ice cream catalog. But there was one that struck out to me. It was a light blue card, and on the back there was a name that struck me.

Rivers Sanchez.

I feel weird why he would mail a card next door. But I take it inside and open it.

Want to read it?

Sure.

Dear Sayori,

Hey, it's Rivers. Your boyfriend. The one who made you waffles and kissed you goodnight when you got too wasted to stay awake. Out of the simpleton I am, i have something to say. At the beach, something happened. I was coming out of the bathroom and relaxing, when Natsuki came to me and kissed me. And I let it happen. I understand how you feel. Straight out the words of a stupid, ignorant guy who let down everyone he loved. I'm leaving the Literature Club behind. What I did was such a betrayal to you I can't be with you. Or Yuri. Or especially Natsuki. Or Clementine. When I look into her eyes, I saw something that I betrayed, and I am scared. For her. For her soul that's so innocent and pure, so friendly with everyone, believing that the world could do her no harm. She reminded me of you.

While on my surface I look like a fun, friendly person, I've been slowly hating the world and everything in it, including myself, since I was 8. Since everything I loved got taken away. I guess I just care too much for the world. I want everything to feel better and finally achieve that nirvana everyone seeks. The relievement of all suffering. And I'm just suffering too much. Nobody wants to deal with a big, upset baby! I always wish the best for you, Sayori. I love you, and I always will. Please forgive me, and forget me. And always know it's better to burn out than to fade away. And I want you to know how happy I was to be in the Literature Club with you. It was the happiest point of my life.

Peace, love, and lots of sunshine, Rivers Sanchez.

And I wanted to cry.

But there was a second page.

And that made me bawl.

In tears, I read the sloppy handwriting of his newest poem.

รท (divide)

MY BEAUTIFUL SUNSHINE:

SAYORI, I'M WITH YOU:)

WE'LL BE TOGETHER ON THE OTHERSIDE

PLEASE KEEP GOING

PLEASE

BY NOW I'M ALREADY IN MEXICO

BACK TO THE OCEANIC HELLHOLE OF MY BIRTH

PLEASE KEEP GOING

FOR CLEM

FOR HER LIFE WILL BE ENDLESSLY BETTER WITHOUT ME IN IT

TELL YURI I STOLE ALL HER HEROIN

AND TELL NATSUKI I'M SORRY

SAYORI, I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU!

And on the bottom was a red stain. It was blood. I was confused. But then I knew. With rope and a passport. In Mexico. Where he was born. I cried in my room.

But I couldn't.

I need to save him.

But I didn't know how.

But I called Yuri and Natsuki.

"Guys, come over, please..." I told them.

Natsuki was watching anime. Yuri was crying and shaking.

They were reluctant.

"Please." I started crying. "I think we might lose another club member."

And that got them.

The memory. Of her.

Of Monika.

Of how she killed herself in the lab to save us.

They came by in 10 minutes.

"Get in. We're going to Mexico."

"Why?" Natsuki snarkily asked.

"Shut the hell up, Natsuki. Right now I'm so frickin... not happy with you!" I responded.

I showed Yuri the card.

Natsuki was in the back trying to defend herself.

"I'm sorry! Like, I got a little drunk with my boyfriend, and I wasn't thinking!"

"Yeah, and now getting hammered is gonna cost my boyfriend's life."

Yuri was analyzing the card, and still didn't get it through her withdrawed head.

"It means he's going to kill himself in Mexico!" I yelled at her.

"But what does otherside mean?" she retorted angrily, "it's one word!"

"You... ugh, otherside means death. Like, he's waiting for me to die so we could both be happy together in heaven."

We stayed in silence. I didn't stop for gas, since I had a full tank.

The border was hell.

But Yuri saved us.

"Fast pass." she said.

And we crossed into Tijuana in twenty minutes. But there was an hour to Rosarito.

"Wait, but how do we know it's Rosarito where he's going to die?" Natsuki asked.

"You slutty idiot, he was born in Rosarito!" I yelled even louder. I was so angry I wanted to beat her up. But I'll save that for another time.

We sped 120 miles per hour to Rosarito.

To the little highway by the coast.

To the surf shop his mom took him when he was a baby.

To the shores they would walk into.

I can almost see a lady holding her baby, feeding him a bottle while singing a Mexican lullaby in Spanish. The baby was dark-skinned and quiet, with long eyelashes, and peaceful brown eyes. He fell soundly asleep to the song.

Exactly like Rivers.

I remember when he had nightmares when I stayed over. I sang him a song, and he fell asleep. He was the most peaceful person I saw.

We entered the dirt road that ended under a bridge. And the little family disappeared. We exited the car. And saw a bridge. At the edge of the bridge straight down is a cliff into water. It seems like if you fell in, you would be crushed by the roaring waves. The ocean spray slapped me. And I looked up. A silhouette, a body, attaching something. In the dark, I grabbed a flashlight, I ducked behind the car. And I saw it. A brown-haired, dark-skinned child with needles injected into both arms. I saw Yuri, and I pulled her to me, and closed her mouth and nose.

"You'll wake up in no time." I whispered as she fell asleep.

I look like a yandere, but she'll wake up. I know it, I've used it before.

He had needles in both arms, like I said before, he had a scarf around his neck. No, not a scarf. A brown one. A noose. It's Rivers.

I'm scared if I yell I'll make him jump.

He's crying, singing a lullaby in Spanish. The same one the mother sang to the baby. Was I tripping?

I intervened.

With tears in my eyes and a stutter in my mouth, I shouted at the top of my lungs,

"Rivers, don't jump!"

He looked stunned.

"Rivers, please. I love you!"

He's leaning, he's letting go.

He fell.

And fell.

But he didn't hang.

He continued to fall.

How long was his rope?

But then the rope fell off and he fell into the water.

I then saw a puff of pink were he was standing.

"Natsuki..." I paused, "You killed him! How could you!". I ran to her, and I choked her until she was purple. But she had just enough energy to croak, "Look on the other side of the bridge...".

I let go and threw her to the ground. I then walked to the other side and at first saw nothing. But then I saw a thin beach leading into a cave. But then I heard crying, turning into whimpering.

I saw Rivers.

"Natsuki, I'm so sorry! You saved him! But how?" I told her as I helped her up.

"There's a cave under the water. The surf was so big it would push him all the way to the other side."

I walked to the beach and saw Rivers.

He was in really bad shape. He was crying on the ground. The needles left his arms, but because of the force of the water, it slashed both his forearms.

He also had thin cuts across his wrists, and I think that's where the blood on the paper came from.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry... I don't deserve you... don't worry, I'll go back and make sure I do it right..." he said in jumbles.

"No, you're not. I love you so much." I told him.

I gave him a big hug and held him in my arms for a second. He limped back to the car. And everyone was happy he was alive. Except Natsuki. She was silent.

Except for one thing.

"Guys, I think he overdosed."