I was so thrilled by the reviews for the last chapter and am sorry I haven't been able to send Nessie POV from the last chapter to those want it, there are too many words to do as message and I don't know another way to send unless you want to PM me your email and I will do it that way…Anyway here is another update because all you lovely people made me smile with some of your comments. Enjoy. Love Tink. And you know the drill let me know what you think, please? Pretty Please.? XXX

Several hours later I threw open my closet and began rummaging around, needing something to do to take my mind off the fact I was leaving the only home I had ever known. Uncertain what I would need for my stay in La Push I stopped, hands on hips, mystified as seconds later sweaters, shirts, and pants sailed past my head and I jumped, startled.

"You can thank me later" My littlest Aunt tinkled, folding things into a large red holdall. I felt a warm surge of affection for her and bizarrely, homesickness, even though I had not yet left.

"Alice, I am doing the right thing?" I asked, suddenly uncertain that I was making the right choice. Despite my vow to be an equal to Jake, to be stronger, I was still so unsure, there were so many things swirling around in my head.

She picked up a hoodie and folded it over her arm, her eyes down cast and her face serious. It troubled me, that she seemed pained, her normal spark, her endless energy, muted.

"You are…it will be tough Ness but you are doing the right thing…when the Volturi get here they won't stop to ask questions, it's better that your not around"

I shuddered once more the image of the red cloaks swirling inside my head as Alice pulled out my tennis shoes and slid them into the bag with a sad smile.

"What no stilettos?" I smiled trying to lighten the somber mood in the room.

"Tennis shoes are easier to run in," she said softly and that was when I knew. Just because I was going to La Push didn't mean I was safe, my future wasn't certain and my heart was heavy with the knowledge. I wanted to do something; I couldn't just sit around while everyone else took care of me. I wanted to learn to defend myself, I wanted to learn to fight.

"Oh"

"Still try to look on the bright side…you get to spend some "quality" time with Jake" she waggled her eyebrows and I pretended not to know what she was on about, ignoring the blush which colored my cheeks.

"And Leah" and I could no more help the resentment in my tone than the anger.

"Oh sweetie, Leah is just there to keep you both safe, think of her as an extra pair of eyes"

" Or hands …I know," I mumbled flinging a shirt into the bag with more power than I realized as it slid across the bed.

We were silent for a while as Alice worked her magic in my closet discarding everything I didn't need. I used the opportunity to mull over the discussion we'd had, there were things I still felt excluded from, things between Jake and my parents. Things about me, I was certain of it.

"You may as well ask me now and save yourself all the emotional knots" she smiled as she stopped packing to look at me.

"What's going on between my parents and Jake?" I blurted before I could think better of it.

She sighed and flopped down onto the bed, signaling for me to come sit with her. I did so and she took my hand in her tiny cold ones.

"Ness there are things which happened after you are born, things which are very important for you and for Jake but sweetie… it's not my secret to tell"

I knew my face would betray my endless frustration with this situation "But if it concerns me, why won't they tell me?"

"They are only trying to protect you, to give you as much childhood as they can…you've grown so fast Ness that just like when your father wanted your mom to have human experiences, they still want you to have childhood experiences"

"Childhood experiences?"

"Yeah you know, building sandcastles, playing hide and go seek, tea parties with your dolls-"

"All stuff I've done with Jake"

"Exactly but there is still so much to do…you world has always been very insular… you know that until you and your mom came along we all lived through high school time and again… but that's different now you're here…they just want to protect you"

"I understand that… but by protecting me I've missed out too" I admitted softly, I didn't like to criticize my family but it was how I felt.

"Aw honey…we all just want what's best for you, you know that right?"

"I do, I really do but part of the reason I wanted to go to La Push is that it's a place I can have a little more freedom, more adventure, less boundaries"

"Whoa there little lady…not too much adventure I hope…anyway I have a feeling that your stay in La Push is going to be exciting enough" she said with a wink and a chuckle.

"Really?"

She nodded "Really…you deciding to grow up a little has changed things for him…even if he doesn't know it yet" she laughed some more, and I smiled just because I loved the sound of her laughter "and if you are patient all those secrets will come out…but Ness don't push it, you won't like what happens if you do"

"I won't I promise, girl scouts honor" I grinned as Aunt Alice pulled me back to my feet and we continued to ravage my closet.

"You were never a girl scout"

I winked and couldn't help the smile "I know"

Nessie was coming home with me. To La Push. Where we would be alone. Away from prying eyes and minds. I was so fucked! As my pack left one by one, I could feel the tension in the room rising. Edward clearly was not happy about Nessie's decision to leave and I knew he probably blamed me. But if he hadn't learned by now that Nessie had her own mind then it was his problem, not mine. She was growing more and more each day and getting quite willful with a strong mind of her own, kinda reminded me of Bella. I smiled at the thought but at the back of my mind I was worried.

What if we made the wrong choice? What if the Volturi came not to Forks but to La Push? What if they attacked? What if I couldn't save her? The thought did not bare thinking about; it made me physically ill to think of my life without my imprint.

"She's more than that Jake, so much more than that, she's our daughter too" Edward's voice interrupted my worrying.

" You think I don't know that" I was angry and on edge, the tension in the room, provoking my inner beast.

"What Edward was trying to say Jake is that we love her too and it's hard for us to let her go…to let her go to you" Bella spoke, her voice was kind but her face was sad.

"She'll be home before you know it Bells" though I had to admit, I knew I wasn't going to like it.

"Oh Jacob" she laughed softly "We, all three of us know she won't be coming home again"

I blanched, nausea almost overtaking me, did they mean they expected her to ….die?

"Jake when I spoke of her letting her go, I didn't just mean physically…. she belongs with you now…her place is by your side, we understand that"

What? How? Fuck?

"When she goes to La Push, whatever happens, Bella and I know that when it's all over she won't want to come back to us…. won't want to leave you again…so she's yours now" Edward spoke his voice soft but there was pain in his words, bittersweet pain.

"I…I don't know what to say" it was true for once I was fucking lost for words, the gift they were giving me was unbelievable. They were telling me Nessie would be mine and I would be hers.

Without saying so they were telling me I had their blessing to pursue a relationship with Nessie now that the situation had changed and the Vamps were coming for me. Who knew how much time we would have or what would happen? Should I not try and be happy while I could? But at the same time I wanted to be focused on protecting her and my pack, could I deal with that if my mind was on a relationship with Ness? I couldn't afford any distractions that would put us all in danger.

"You'd better take care of her Jacob Black or Rosalie will be sporting an new but very interesting pair of testicle shaped earrings," Bella threatened but then continued, her features composed in a mask of pain "All we ask is that you love her Jake and make her happy… and if things go wrong here…take her far away and let her know that she was loved, that we loved her more than our own lives"

I felt humbled, despite the fact I had loved Nessie since she was born and she had loved me back, this was the first time I had ever seen the pain it caused Edward and Bella to think about Nessie as belonging with me. What was it Bella had called it, stupid, moronic wolfy claim? I had never questioned the fact that one day she would be mine but I had also never thought what it must cost them to know I was her priority. That was how the imprint worked for us both. She was made for me and me for her. End of story.

"Does it have to be tonight?" Bella questioned softly and I could see what this was doing to her. For the first time since she'd changed, she looked…fragile.

"I think so" Alice spoke from the door way, where she stood grasping a hold all, Nessie hovering just behind her biting her lip looking nervous.

I could see Nessie's face was pale, even as pale as her families and there was a faint sheen of tears in her eyes. My heart ached for her and it was on the tip of my tongue to call the whole thing off, just to leave them all in peace, to draw the Volturi away and deal with them by myself.

"They would kill you Jake" Edward murmured shaking his head in warning. I felt so useless, so powerless to heal the hurt I could see on so many faces in this room. I was supposed to be alpha and there was not one thing I could about this, I had caused this problem.

"No Jake, the Volturi have…. this isn't your fault"

"So I'm all packed" Nessie forced a grin as she came further into the room, to stand with her parents.

"My baby" Bella murmured wrapping her arms around her and clutching her to her.

"Mama, it's not like I'm going to the other side of the world" Nessie tried to make light of it but I could hear the wobble in her voice, the emotion fighting to the surface.

"I know, but I'll miss you, we both will"

Nessie turned her tear filled eyes on her father "Daddy, look after mama for me, you know how she gets"

Edward smiled lopsidedly and ruffled her hair before enfolding in his arms

"You mind your manners young lady and do what Jake and Leah tell you to …they tell to you to run, then you run, they tell you to leave them, then you leave…do you understand?"

She nodded "I'll be home soon, before we know it…you'll keep in touch won't you? Let us know when they get close?"

Edward nodded and placed a kiss to her forehead, letting her go when she stepped away and looked at me expectantly.

"Leah has already gone on ahead, we're staying at Billy's old place, she's there now sprucing it up for us all" I said trying to say something, anything that would lighten the emotion in the room.

I watched as she looked around the room, her eyes going to the door again as the rest of her family appeared, their faces just as still, just as somber.

Rosalie flew to her side, holding her close, stroking her hair from her eyes.

"Make sure you listen to him, he may be a mutt but he loves you and wants to protect you…" she then turned her attention to me "Now listen here dog, you bring her back with so much a hair out of place and I will have your balls as earrings" she snarled across the room.

I chuckled and grinned wickedly "I've heard that one already... Hey Rosalie how do you confuse a blonde? You don't... they're born that way"

Blondie sniffed, her nose poking jauntily in the air as Emmett bellowed out a laugh beside her as he drew Ness into a bone-crushing hug.

"Take care Ness…and don't worry, we got this shit covered" he said cockily.

Nessie nodded, smiling weakly.

Jasper stole her, sweeping her up into a brief but intense hug and I was immediately overcome with waves of calm. Everything was going to be okay. I grinned goofily.

"Ness, don't worry about us, we'll take care of everything, never bet against Alice right?"

"Thanks" she mumbled as her face relaxed, Jasper's gift influencing her.

I watched as Nessie was passed from embrace to embrace, coming to rest between Carlisle and Esme who hugged her tight, murmuring words of comfort into her ear as she shook lightly. Together they walked back to her parents "We'll miss you so much baby…but it won't be forever…we'll be right here waiting for you" Esme crooned and Nessie blinked rapidly, fighting back the tears I knew were no doubt threatening.

"I know" Nessie's voice wobbled more and the ache inside me intensified, as though knives where tearing at my gut.

"Nessie, honey…we need to think about heading out, I want to be there before it gets dark," I said softly, not wanting to cause her any more pain, feeling like a bastard for taking her from her family.

"So soon?" she sounded wistful, glancing at Alice questioningly.

The pixie nodded "better safe than sorry, besides I can see you are going to have a great time…why wait?"

Nessie didn't look convinced, her eyes darting back and forth between her parents and me.

"Alice is right Nessie, you and Jake should head out soon" Edward soothed, wrapping an arm around her slender shoulders, Bella flanking her other side and I heard the catch in her breathing seconds before I smelt her tears.

With a muted sob she turned into her parents embrace, her arms going around Bella's neck as she sniffled, fighting the tears. Alice and the rest of the Cullens rushed to her side and rubbed her back, muttering soothing words of comfort as Edward and Bella held her close. I listened to her tears, wishing there was something I could do to take away her pain.

"Nessie, you don't have to do this honey, you can stay here," I said, the words out of my mouth before I thought better of it.

She spun around and looked at me, almost as though she had forgotten I was there. Her beautiful face was red, blotchy, tear stained and her eyes met mine. I lost myself instantly, drowning in them, feeling need stirring in the pit of my stomach.

I don't know what she saw in my gaze but she shook her head, squared her shoulders and sniffed loudly, inelegantly, making us all smile.

"No, I'm ready…lets do this" her smiled wobbled and she held out a hand to take the bag Alice held.

I was there before her, surprised by the weight of the bag in my palm. I was strong but was easily able to feel the heaviness.

"Ever heard of packing light Ness?" I joked using two hands to hold the bag off the floor as though it was too heavy.

"We need to be prepared for every eventuality," she said with a little sniff. Oh Ness. I felt like a shit and immediately regretted my words.

"That we do," I agreed "Cliff diving, cook outs on the beach, bike racing"

I smirked at the horrified expression on Bella's face, she really should know me better than that "Shit Bells, when did you become such a worry wart, it's not like she's breakable"

"Jacob Black she is still half human"

"And she is still here" Nessie muttered with a slight flounce "Besides we gotta have something to pass the time"

I gulped and tried to stop the images invading my mind of all the things I would like to do to her to pass the time. Edward scowled and turned to Bella.

"It's not too late you know, we can still say no" he murmured.

Busted. Ah shit.

"Daddy" Nessie growled and I blinked at her. She sounded so much like a wolf that I felt a surge of pride.

Edward looked at me pointedly "This is your influence Jake"

And I was made up to discover it probably was.

"Guys…I really think you should be on your way" Alice spoke and the room went silent. This was it.

"You ready Ness?" I asked her, gently, not wanting to rush her but at the same time eager to get back to my own land, where I felt marginally more protected. It was nothing against the Cullens, I knew that they would protect me but my pack was in La Push and nothing or no one gave me the same sense of security.

She heaved in a breath, a little shaky, her heart racing but nodded. I turned and headed towards the door, towing along her bag. Once outside I stowed it in the car and held open the door for Ness to climb in. It tugged at my heart how young and vulnerable she looked, biting her bottom lip nervously.

"It'll be okay Nessie…anytime you want to come home, you just say the word and you're here" I whispered though with the vamps hearing I don't really know why I bothered, they could hear everything.

She nodded but didn't speak. I knew she didn't trust herself not to cry again.

With a last long glance at Edward I waited, did he really want me to take her away? Did he know that I loved her more than life itself, that I would fight to the death to protect her? That no one would ever hurt her while I was around? Our eyes met and he nodded, just once sharply and I sent a mental thank you for his trust in me.

Starting the engine I hit the gas and we were off. Glancing in my mirror, I saw Bella wrapped in Edwards arms, the rest of the Cullens gathered around them, watching until we had disappeared from sight.

Then and only then did I turn my attention to Nessie. She was shivering slightly and still chewing on her bottom lip.

"It'll be alright Ness, I promise…think of it as a vacation, you can visit with Emily and the baby, spend some time with Claire and the others" I suggested, my heart aching for her, wishing I could take away her pain.

"Jake if I asked you to do something for me, like you asked me last night…would you?" she tilted her head as she studied me. My heart thudded she looked so fucking adorable when she did that. I clenched my hands on the steering wheel to prevent myself reaching out and touching her.

I blanched; asking Nessie not to tempt me was a moot point now considering we were no longer in her home. Part of me wondered if she was going to ask me to revoke my request and a huge part of me prayed that was the case.

"Yeah" I prayed I was not going to live to regret that answer

"Would you teach me how to fight?"

That was the last thing I expected her to say and for a second I was rendered mute by shock.

"Why in the hell would you want to know how to fight?" it was against all my primitive protective instincts to even think about her fighting.

"Because I want to be prepared for whatever comes our way…I need to be able to protect myself…and the pack,"

I shook my head "Ness no, I will protect you, don't even think that I won't"

She gritted her teeth beside me "God you're just like my father…I want to be able to do my bit, to take care of myself…I want to be able to help Jake…I'm not a little kid anymore"

Fuck, no one knew that more than me. "It's not about that Ness…but it's my job to keep you safe…you don't need to worry about that sort of thing, that's why I was made"

"Don't patronize me" she sniped "If you don't want to help me then I'll find someone who will…I want to be ready when the time comes, I don't want to slow anyone down… to put anyone in danger because I can't take care of myself"

My Nessie, fierce warrior woman. I stifled a laugh. But seriously I was made for her and everything that entailed, including protecting her life with my own. Letting her fight would go against every single instinct I had but at the same time I could see her desire for independence.

There was another issue which concerned me and that was keeping my hands to myself, wrestling with Nessie was not going to help that. I could easily imagine how soft and warm she would be as we grappled, how easy it would be to roll her beneath me and pin her to the floor with the weight of my body. I could almost hear her groans of submission, her soft panting breaths; smell the faint tang of her sweat, feel the soft curves of her body beneath my hardness. I shifted in my seat as all my blood pooled south and altered the fit of my jeans in less than a heartbeat. Fighting with Nessie. Not such a good idea.

"Are you even listening to me?" she huffed, crossing her arms and staring at me expectantly. I felt a faint flush begin to creep up my cheekbones at being caught daydreaming about her.

"Sorry Ness, what was that?"

" I said are you going to help me or not?"

"Not" I grimaced, shifting again as my erection throbbed in time with my heartbeat.

"Fine I'll ask one of the others" she glared ahead at the road.

Jealousy and possession flared to life inside me and I growled, "Leah, Leah will help you". Nobody would touch my Nessie. Mine. She was all mine.

Looking slightly mollified and she nodded "Tomorrow?"

Knowing I wasn't going to win this battle I nodded and turned my attention to the road.

Jake stared straight ahead, his beautiful face taught, lines of tension in his whole body as he drove, his arms bent at his elbows where they rested on the steering wheel, slightly hunched forward. I didn't have to be a rocket scientist to know that he wasn't happy about my plans to learn how to fight. Well tough, it was about time I started to take care of myself and if Jacob Black didn't like it he could lump it.

Besides I wanted to show him that I was strong and capable, that I could look after myself, that I could be a partner, an equal not some dumb baby he had to protect and take care off. Part of me had to admit though; there was something that appealed to me about him taking care of me. But when I had asked him to teach me to fight, that part of me was over ruled by the part that wanted to get up close and personal with him again.

Learning to fight would be the perfect excuse to touch without feeling guilty that I was breaking my promise to him. So I was majorly pissed off when he refused, I was even more pissed off when he got his funny look over his face and zoned out. Jake was so male, so masculine, that I knew there would be part of him, that felt like it was his duty to look after me, but I wanted a partnership and wanted to be able to hold my own, protect him and myself.

If Leah was my best bet then I was going to take the opportunity with both hands. So now there was the silence, the kind of silence that made you want to scream. It wasn't pleasurable or companionable, but tense and thick with something I didn't understand.

Shifting restlessly in my seat I cleared my throat, ignoring the tingling inside as I thought about sparring with Jake. He would grab me around the waist and take me to the floor, pining me in place with his big hard body, not let me up so I was helpless beneath him. I imagined his eyes, heavy and intense as he stared down at me, in victory. My heart rate increased and I felt my breathing coming a little quicker. I slanted a furtive glance at Jake to see if he had noticed but he seemed unmoved, only his nostrils flaring slightly as he breathed. Suddenly the air in the car seemed stifling hot and tense. I felt as though there was electricity crackling around us, shooting sparks along my skin, tiny little prickles of energy.

Did he not feel it? His face remained as unchanged as ever. Impassive. I guessed not.

"I can't take this anymore Jake!" I groaned.

"Huh?" he said casually.

"This, the tension…I feel like I am going to come apart at the seems"

He got a strange look on his face as he stared right ahead at the road.

"I know you're mad at me for undermining your wolfy protectiveness because I want to learn to fight for myself but Christ Jake, we're going to be living together...I can't deal with you like this"

"You think I'm mad at you?" he sounded incredulous and it occurred to me in that instant I was maybe wrong.

"Aren't you? You've barely said two words to me all the way here"

He sighed heavily "I'm sorry Ness, really…I'm not angry with you… I just have a lot on my mind that's all…how about a little music?"

I looked at him not sure I bought what he was telling me but nodded anyway, anything to dispell this tension. Apparently silence isn't golden.

AN: So thought I would try this chapter without the obvious POV markers...does it work? Let me know if not and I will pop them back in. Love Tink. XX