June 20, 1997
Dean's hands were sweating on the wheel, and the lurching in his stomach was way too aggressive to be described as butterflies. He couldn't believe the day had finally come. Bobby and Joshua had found Pamela Barnes, and in just a few hours, they were going to try breaking Gabriel's banishment.
Sam fidgeted in the passenger seat, his knee bouncing like a jackhammer. Every now and again he would scratch his nose or run his hand through his hair or tap his fingers on his leg, utterly unable to sit still. It was making Dean a little bit crazy.
They pulled in to the small parking lot where Bobby and Joshua were already speaking with Pamela, who was twisting her dark hair into a knot at the back of her neck. After the brothers joined them, the group made its way inside. Public binding rooms could be elaborate or barren, and this one was more sparse than most, though it was obviously well tended. The wooden floors gleamed in the late sunlight streaming through the high windows, and the silver sigils and devil's trap inlay surrounding the central altar were beautifully polished.
Sitting on the built in benches that lined the walls of the room, Dean and Sam kept out of the way as the other three prepared the space for the spell. As they waited, Dean began gnawing his thumbnail, which he hadn't done in years. He knew how the ritual would go – they'd all reviewed it with Pamela multiple times in the last few days before the full moon. Still, his thumbnail was bitten to the quick.
After everything was in place, Bobby and Joshua sat down to rest, and Pamela wandered over to Dean.
With a small smile, she said, "So. How're you doing?"
"Fine, I guess?"
"Look," she said, leaning closer and lowering her voice. "I've been meaning to say I'm sorry for what I did back when you were a kid. Your dad's a relentless son of a bitch when he wants something, and I let him talk me into banishing your angel. It never sat right with me in the years since, and quite frankly, I'm glad I'm getting the chance to try and fix it."
"Was," Dean corrected.
Her eyebrows raised in question. "What?"
"My dad was a son of a bitch."
"Oh." Pamela's expression fell into one of embarrassment. "I didn't realize."
"Not your fault." Dean shrugged, but gave her a half smile. "Thanks for helping us get Gabriel back."
Pamela's smile revealed a fine web of crow's feet at the corners of her clear, green eyes. "You're welcome, kid. I hope to hell this works."
The remaining time passed quietly, other than the sounds of nervous fidgeting. When twilight came, Bobby and Pamela went around the room lighting all the candles in the numerous wall sconces, adding to the faint light of the full moon that fell through the windows. Pamela obsessively checked her watch until, finally, it was time.
"Okay, folks," she announced. "It's showtime."
They gathered around the central altar. Pamela closed her eyes and began reciting the spell in some unfamiliar language – Enochian, Dean thought, but he'd never asked. Bobby and Joshua stood on either side, adding ingredients to the basin in the altar as they were needed.
Energy built up, crackling in the air and making Dean's skin itch. He watched Pamela intently, waiting for his part in the ritual.
One thing Dean remembered clearly from their first encounter all those years ago was the creepy way her eyes went white as she cast the banishing spell. He'd often wondered if it was just a trick of his memory, but as she moved on to the next part of the spell, she opened her eyes, and they were pure white. A shiver ran down Dean's spine.
Pamela's chanting grew louder, and the power sizzling in the air made all the hair on Dean's arms and the back of his neck stand up. Finally, she held a hand out to Dean. He stepped up to the altar and placed his hand in hers, palm up. He hissed as she made a quick slice at the edge of his palm with her knife. A few drops of blood fell into the basin to mix with the other ingredients before she released him. He recited his carefully memorized incantation before stepping back out of the way. She followed the same procedure with Sam, adding his blood and incantation to the mix as well.
Striking a match, Pamela spoke the last lines of the spell in a ringing voice and set the contents of the basin alight. Flames burst up, flaring bright and hot, momentarily blinding Dean.
As the flames died back, the energy in the room dissipated. Out of breath, Pamela slumped forward, catching herself on the edge of the altar. She blinked repeatedly, and her eyes returned to normal.
Dean looked around the room anxiously as his eyes readjusted to the dimness. "Is it done? How do we know if it worked?"
With a tired smile, Pam said, "Pray."
Right. Of course. Dean closed his eyes and took a quaking breath. Gabriel? Can you hear me? Gabriel, it's Dean.
Silence.
He looked around again, his stomach clenching when he saw no sign of the angel. Gabriel? Please hear me! Please, please come home.
Dean turned to Pamela frantically. "It didn't work. Why didn't it work?"
She pursed her lips and frowned. "I'm not sure. It's not like this gets done every day, you know. Sam, why don't you give it a try?"
No more than two seconds after Sam closed his eyes, Gabriel appeared in a rush.
Dean's heart hammered in his chest. The angel stood frozen to the place he'd landed, staring at Sam in shock with his one wide, honey colored eye. Memories flooded Dean's mind, triggered by the face he'd been missing for so long.
Gabriel was home.
"Sam?" Gabriel whispered. "Is that you?"
Equally stunned and staring back at him, Sam nodded mutely.
Gabriel's face crumpled as he rushed forward to embrace Sam, a rough sob tearing its way out of him. They stumbled to their knees as Sam returned the hug, clinging to the angel.
"Sammy, I can't believe it," Gabriel cried, tears streaming down his cheek. He pushed away and caught Sam's face between his hands, his eye roving over him in disbelief. "How did this happen? Where's-"
He went utterly still as his gaze fell on Dean standing a few feet away. Half a dozen emotions flowed over Gabriel's face as he stared.
"-Dean," he breathed. Gabriel tilted his head to the side, confused. "Dean?"
Swallowing hard, Dean nodded and croaked, "Um, hi."
His stomach dropped sickeningly when Gabriel's only reaction was to frown harder. The angel seemed baffled by him, or worse, disapproving. But then Gabriel broke into a tentative smile. "Hey, kiddo. Long time no see, huh?"
Dean hesitated. Why was Gabriel acting so strangely?
But then Gabriel reached out, beckoning to him. "Get over here, squirt, so I can hug the stuffing out of you, too."
In a daze, Dean went over and dropped to his knees, allowing Gabriel to pull him in tightly. Dean wrapped his arms around Gabriel and his brother in a clumsy three-way hug, hardly daring to believe it was real. Against his cheek, he felt the tickle of Gabriel's halo just as he remembered from his childhood, and the familiar sensation instantly opened up the waterworks. Embarrassed, Dean buried his face in the angel's shoulder and let his ridiculous Hawaiian shirt soak up his tears.
"I missed you," he choked out between muffled sobs.
"I missed you, too, Dean-o," Gabriel answered, his voice rough and wavering. "Both of you. So much."
Eventually, the soggy hug ended, and the three of them climbed to their feet. Dean was shocked to realize he was taller than the angel. Even Sam was nearly as tall. He'd never realized that Gabriel was so short.
Around the room, the other three were watching the reunion quietly. Joshua stood with a hand on Bobby's shoulder, and both of them had wet, shining eyes. Tears rolled freely down Pamela's cheeks, though the only sound she made was an occasional sniffle. When the hug broke up, Bobby and Joshua went up to welcome Gabriel back.
But afterward, Gabriel started doing it again – looking at Dean intently, as if trying to sort out a puzzle. Dean's stomach fluttered. Something was wrong. "Um, Gabriel?"
The angel approached, still staring Dean down, and reached out to gently cradle his cheek. "Dean... I don't know why, but I can't feel you," he muttered. Behind him, Joshua inhaled sharply, bringing a hand to his mouth.
"What?" Dean frowned, lost.
"The bond was severed. I'm cut off." His scarred face twisted in grief.
For a moment, the words wouldn't process in Dean's mind. They made no sense. When angels were bound, they were bound to the bloodline for life. How could he be cut off?
Joshua clutched harder at Bobby's shoulder and made a soft keening sound. "Gabriel..."
But Gabriel turned to Pamela. "You're the one who did this?"
Pam shrank into herself a little. "Yes?"
"How did this happen?" he demanded.
She shook her head. "I don't know. All I can think is that maybe it was because Dean's blood was used for the original spell. Your banishment from the Campbell bloodline is broken now...except for Dean."
Gabriel's voice trembled. "It's permanent?"
"I've done everything I know to do, so as far as I know," Pamela shrugged her shoulders helplessly, "yes."
"What does this mean?" Dean asked, desperate to understand what was happening, because it couldn't possibly be what it sounded like.
When he turned back to Dean, Gabriel appeared utterly broken – small and vulnerable. "It means I can't sense you or heal you or hear your prayers." He reached up to cup the side of Dean's neck. "It means I'm not your angel anymore."
His composure crumbling, Gabriel grabbed him in a crushing hug, his body shaking with sobs. Dean hugged back, clutching at the angel's hibiscus flowers and hula girls. Over Gabriel's shoulder, he saw Bobby leading Pamela out, murmuring to her in a low voice Dean couldn't hear.
"Wait!" Dean cried, disentangling himself from Gabriel and chasing down Pamela before she was gone for good. "You can't leave it like this. You have to fix it."
"Dean, I'm so sorry, sugar." Pamela's face was full of sympathy and regret. "There's nothing more I can do."
"But it's not right. It's not fair!" Dean exclaimed desperately.
Bobby put a hand on Dean's shoulder and gave a squeeze. "You know better than most that life ain't fair, son. We'll keep looking for a way to change this, but you might have to learn to accept it."
"No!" Dean shook off Bobby's hand. "This is bullshit!"
"Dean-" Gabriel began, but Dean turned and stormed from the binding room.
There really wasn't anywhere to go but the parking lot or the gardens behind the secluded building. He chose the parking lot. Sitting behind the wheel of the Impala with the door wide open, Dean tried to get ahold of himself. After the months of anticipation and waiting and stress, he felt like everything was falling apart.
"Dean?"
He opened his eyes to find Sam watching him over the gap between the windshield and the open door. He grunted a reply.
"Are you okay?" Sam asked.
Dean gave his brother a scathing look.
"Will you be okay?" Sam amended.
With a bitter sigh, Dean shrugged. "Don't have much choice, do I?"
"You know it won't be like before, right? Like when he was banished? Gabriel is here now. He'll still be a huge part of your life. He just...can't heal you is all." Sam's reassurances didn't help much.
"It's not the same, Sam. It's not even really about that. I just..." He trailed off and shook his head.
Sam came around the door to crouch down next to Dean. "It's Castiel, isn't it? We lost him over this, and now you feel like you've lost Gabriel, too."
Tears burned the backs of Dean's eyes, but he refused to let them fall.
"You haven't lost Gabriel, though," Sam said, putting a hand on Dean's arm to drive his point home. "And he needs you right now, as much as you need him. Go talk to him, okay?"
Dean gave Sam a bit of a side-eye. Sometimes it was freaky how well Sam could read him.
"Fine," he grudgingly agreed.
Returning to the binding room, he saw Bobby cleaning up the remnants of their spell. Joshua was seated on a bench with an arm around Gabriel who had his head in his hands, his fingers buried in his sandy hair. Joshua looked up when Dean walked in and murmured something to Gabriel who raised his head.
Dean nodded to Joshua as the angel stood and went to help Bobby with the clean up. He sat down beside Gabriel.
"Hey," he said softly.
Gabriel gave a watery smile. "Hey, kiddo."
"Sorry I flipped out there. I just... didn't see this coming, I guess."
"Neither did I. None of it." Gabriel turned to meet Dean's eyes. "But you know what? Even with the broken bond, I'm so damn happy to see you, kid."
"Me, too." Stupid tears welled up again. "Welcome home, Gabriel."
The angel wrapped his arms around him and hugged hard enough to make him grunt. When he let go, he briefly squeezed Dean's hand before standing up. Dean looked down to find a Tootsie Roll tucked into his palm. He grinned up at Gabriel who smiled back, a little bittersweet.
"It's good to be home."