Operation: {Type F}: [Hopeless]
Unknown Time
[Play: Heion (ANANT-GARDE-EYES/Jun Maeda) Charlotte (O.S.T)]
Memories can be considered as the things that build up a person's identity.
Moments or just everyday things that gets stored into your brain, so that you can remember and either use it for the purpose to learn the things that you need in real life...
...or remind yourself that you have that thing called "existence" as an individual in this cruel and unfair world.
It can also be compared resume papers that you need for getting work and applying on a business venture, except the employer is yourself in that regard.
It serves as your reference to distinguish what kind of person you are. Important background that tells you what things you did in order to know the reasons of your development in the present. Based from the example, it's like whatever things you encountered in the past is directly written in a piece of paper. But in a literal situation, the only events that you need to write are your achievements, success and other things related to make yourself suitable for the job you wish to apply on...
...and it would be a bother to replace it, if it was accidentally lost or destroyed.
If you ask a certain self-proclaimed loner that has mature tendencies and abrupt change issues... he would define memories as,
"The power or process of reproducing or recalling what has been learned and retained especially through associative and mechanisms" or;
"The store of things learned and retained from an organism's activity or experience as evidenced by modification of structure or behavior or by recall or and recognition" and maybe even just a "plain" definition;
"A natural ability that activates once your brain develops the aptitude to remember the things associated with your growth and that acts as prior knowledge in order to remember situations that highlights your attention"
While they may be nerdy beyond degree, they are the exact definition if someone ever has the impulse to use it in their homework or just their own interest and boredom at work.
Said "boredom" would directly imply of a certain someone that would undoubtedly remark that the definitions above are waste of time to remember and are not fun to even ask for.
Said "certain someone" would directly suggest of a person that would reflexively comment that all knowledge is essential... just to be pulled by the arm and be forced to run like there was no tomorrow.
Anyways, memories, as you can see, are significant non-physical objects that make up your identity. Be it having a fixed sense of society or having equal excitement that rivals the brightness of the sun. They are examples of identities that can only be produced through having to live moments in life that proceeds to shape those moments into fragments of what you call as... memories.
Though...
"Memories are practically useless if you can't remember them at all... Sara" a boy asked with a stoical expression to the one named "Sara". But if you looked closer, you can see something... suppressing something watery that was about to cascade on his cheek.
"You're having those weird moments again Jiro-kun!" the girl exclaimed with a bright smile to the one named "Jiro-kun". As if unaware of the state the boy was going through.
The boy's expression broke and could only smile sardonically from the blatant ignorance of the girl just a few inches away from him... comfortably lying on a bed with no worries whatsoever.
The boy can dismiss the rude and bad-mannered actions of the girl for now. He had been used to that kind of behavior from her anyway. Though, he knew that there was no difference even if he responded with a soft and understanding patience or an extremely harsh berating, since...
"Um... hello?" the boy was snapped out of his musings when he was called. And upon redirecting his eyes right in front of him...
Two orbs of hazel brown eyes filled with confusion met the boy's somber blue-gray ones; the somberness was unnoticed even though it became more prevalent.
Yes, the boy would just let the girl scot-free even if she was being rude earlier...
"Um... are you listening?" the girl adopted a soft tone, which was way different than the excessive jovial one.
Yes, he would just tell himself that it was just her way of doing things and he would just understand her own circumstances...
"I finally got your attention!" the girl clapped her hand happily, indicating that the boy heard her voice from what she had said.
Yes...
"Can I ask your name and maybe afterwards we can be friends? I'll go first" the girl offered with the very same bright smile that the boy was accustomed to, but the latter could definitely see and feel that it was totally different than the last one.
"Sure, I guess" the boy answered with a smile of his own... though no matter how fake it was. He had to persevere for "his" own worries.
"My name's Sara, Sara Menako!" the now named "Sara" introduced herself with a grin. "And I see that this is the start of a friendship so I shall say thank you and sorry in advance!" she added with a salute.
The boy's expression in that instant broke into a heartbroken one and the tears seemed to be unable to hold itself back any longer. As one tear escaped his right eyelid, the liquid that signified sadness and grief fell onto his lap, but that was only one. He still had to endure... for "his" sake.
"It's your turn then!" "Sara" said as she waited for a response. As if unaware of the state the boy was going through.
The boy abruptly noticed that the same thing happened again. But he still needed to... tolerate for "him" to not get hurt.
Plastering another fake smile, the boy answered.
"Jojiro Takajo" the now named "Takajo" answered with the same smile trying to hold itself on his lips. "Be sure to remember it in the future okay! Friends always remember the ones they befriended!" he uncharacteristically voiced with his own excitement as if meeting a "new" friend was a dream come through.
Yes... "Jojiro Takajo" could let "Sara Menako" off the hook this time; since he knew that different yet same things would just happen if he stayed in her vicinity. And he has a lot of chance to correct her again. While other people would undoubtedly question him as to why he still stayed, one of which is his own mother, he would just answer them truthfully and wholeheartedly since he wasn't doing it whatsoever for the girl that he had once regarded as annoying... no, it was not for her.
"That's a good name!"
The smile full of happiness that resulted from the boy's action only made him internally downtrodden but he still relentlessly hid it.
The boy can dismiss the rude and bad-mannered actions of the girl for now. He had been used to that kind of behavior from her anyway. Though, he knew that there was no difference even if he responded with a soft and understanding patience or an extremely harsh berating, since...
"And I'm a bit selfish, you see! There are instances where I would just use this friendship just to get what I want! But, I'll try to change that about me since you look like you're still willing to befriend me!"
Jojiro Takajo would answer those people who would question him that he merely did it for his own volition and self-interest. Because that was he believed would be the most practical and best mindset when talking to a girl as unique as this...
Seeing the blossomed smile right in front of him, the boy only showed a smile of his own albeit more forcefully.
Memories can be considered as the things that build up a person's identity...
...but the girl known as Sara Menako existed right in front of him, kept the different yet similar identity even if it was never shaped by those so called memories in the first place.
Unknown Time
Kiryuu Academy
[Play: Danran (ANANT-GARDE-EYES/Jun Maeda) Charlotte (O.S.T)]
The silent and gentle wind was felt by people walking through the streets. As students, with parents on tow, that just attended the graduation for elementary school was either staying to take more pictures while the others were now leaving in groups as they had plans for the afternoon.
While the students with their were making their way outside the big gates of the school known as Kiryuu academy, a certain duo was seen walking while following the waves of students getting out of the campus.
"Takajo-san!" the duo stopped as they turned to look towards a particular female approaching them.
"Shinra-san?" Takajo asked seeing a familiar face.
This was the girl in particular who would occasionally exchange books to read with him and was the one that he had failed to know the name for about two months since meeting.
The girl named Shinra was wearing a casual white T-shirt with a blue skirt along with sandals. She then stopped before panting slightly from her run as she then set her sights towards Takajo.
"Congratulations Takajo-san!" the girl named Shinra beamed. "You've graduated now!" she added making Takajo scratch the back of his head while showing a wry smile.
"Yeah, sure looks like it" Takajo said while Shinra nodded.
"Well, seeing that you've graduated. It seems proper if I call you senpai right?" the girl said.
"You can still me Takajo if you want though" Takajo stated but it seems ineffective seeing the girl speak.
"Takajo-senpai then!" Takajo heard the girl said making him sigh.
Three years have passed since Takajo was merely a ten year old boy. He was currently a graduate of elementary school and he had now stepped into the stage of middle school.
His features were relatively the same compare to his younger self. With a difference of slightly thicker hair that he had maintained whilst in his face, the current glasses that he had were now brand new. All in all, nothing really changed except his more defined features.
"So what do you need Joji-chan, Shinra-chan?" Takajo's mother asked.
"Don't call me Joji-chan" he stated casually compare to the past, but was promptly ignored when the two females conversed.
"My cousin graduated as well and I was wondering if Takajo-san here is available for the party in our place" Shinra said whilst smiling towards Takajo who continued to rant about his nickname.
The mother was about to speak but she was interrupted by Takajo who stepped forwards.
"Sorry Shinra-san..." Takajo politely said after he calmed down. "Me and Okaa-san have plans after this" he stated while the girl nodded in understanding, though you could see the small traces of sadness in her eyes.
"Oh. Okay then" Shinra said after a few seconds, hiding her disappointment. "But if you change your mind, you can still come okay?" she asked with a hopeful tone.
"Okay I'll keep that in mind then" Takajo said as he graced Shinra with a smile, eliciting a blush from the girl before abruptly turning around.
Looking towards Takajo a final time, somewhat clearing the redness of her cheek she spoke.
"Goodbye then, Takajo-senpai!" Shinra bid farewell with a wave of her hand while Takajo mirrored her movement. Staring at Takajo for a few seconds she then smiled before going on her way.
Takajo sighed after seeing the girl leave before hearing a chuckle from his side.
"Joji-chan sure is popular" the mother teased making Takajo sigh again. "That girl still has a crush on you huh?" she teased even further making Takajo groan.
"First of all I'm not that popular and second it is just admiration" Takajo excused.
"Still the analytical son I know, alright" the mother muttered with sigh before smiling. "Though, I'm happy you made friends before you leave your elementary years" she added much to Takajo's embarrassment.
Truthfully, the mother was a bit surprised herself from the sudden change Takajo have gone through, even though Takajo may have traces of the passive and logical person he once was, it never really did became that much prevalent nowadays.
Looking at her son who once would spout nonsense about the benefits of being alone and a boy who would undoubtedly became isolated... she was really happy when she saw in that certain time where Takajo was seen talking with his other classmates. It may just be a simple casual conversation, but she could distinguish that Takajo was really trying.
And even though her son was a bit awkward at first, at least there was effort on his part until it became kind of a norm to him somewhat. A contrary to what he would say when he was at an age of ten.
Of course the mother knew who had definitely changed his son for the better and she was thankful for that, but...
"You're going to see her again, huh?" the mother said while Takajo didn't answer, proceeding to walk while the former followed after.
With another sigh the woman then spoke again softly.
"You're only hurting yourself, you know?" Takajo heard the comment loud and clear but didn't show any signs of listening.
The person that she was indicating about was a certain someone that definitely changed Takajo thoroughly. The person, that abruptly barged on Takajo's life unceremoniously. One, who had stuck to him like glue, just to prove that her concept of friendship truly overwhelm his. A girl, which managed to irritate him further even to the point that he had broken his facade just to show anger.
You can say that those examples are crude and somewhat even not good examples at all. In which it can ruin the receiver's view of life that it already is, but knowing how it indeed changed the ways of the boy who preferred to be alone more than anything...
...the result indeed was way worse than the mother had thought.
If it was just a normal kind of girl, she wouldn't even think of something like this but this was somewhat of a special case.
She didn't know what kind of effect that the girl truly had integrated to her son, but she saw the signs that guaranteed it were positive and seeing it play out in front of her she couldn't be anymore factual.
"You don't have to, you know?" the mother tried to dissuade her son.
Not that she wanted to stop Takajo from meeting that particular girl. She just wanted for him to-
"It would be rather rude to not even say a farewell right?" the mother knew she couldn't stop his son now... seeing the smile that spoke of acceptance and sadness at the same time.
Takajo just gaze at his own mother with the very same smile that he would see from a particular person albeit with a minor distinct detail...
If one asked Takajo what he thought about the three years that have passed. He would normally answer that it had been hectic and chaotic as he knew that a certain girl will constantly stay by his side at all times.
He would voice out his concerns to that girl of why anybody wouldn't just stare at your face whilst you are sleeping.
He would be angry while that girl would proceed to force him to run first thing in the morning and just be plain vocal after that so called routine.
He would be blatant in expressing his obvious displease about how he would be irritated by that girl every single time.
He would just pause in bafflement upon seeing the "other side" of that girl and just stay quiet while she was in "focus mode", which he had named due to the weirdness of said action since the girl is rarely but is serious.
He would show tolerance whilst that girl would interrupt classes as if it was in her schedule.
And he would at times think about why he had met the girl that literally kicked his reality like it wasn't her business and would come regretting the fact that he had even met the girl in the first place.
"..."
Flashback
3 years ago
"You're an idiot" Takajo stated bluntly making Sara flinch.
"That's mean Jiro-kun" Sara frowned before sighing as she lay one the soft and comfortable hospital bed.
It had been about a week since a revelation was brought out in the open.
"Hmmm..." Takajo hummed before grasping a particular book on the desk as he opened it. "It's true though" he stated ignoring Sara's protest of him reading through her stuff.
"That's also rude, you know?" Sara said but Takajo ignored her once again whilst still skimming on the small notebook that Sara had at all times.
At first, Takajo wouldn't even think of rummaging through a girl's stuff, much less if it was Sara he was talking about. But upon knowing of a certain fact, he didn't even care anymore...
"This is something important to you, right?" Takajo offhandedly commented while having Sara's book on his face. "I currently hold the notebook that you remind yourself of" he added.
"At least make yourself look sad Jiro-kun" Sara commented. "You sound like you don't even care" she stated but the only response Takajo did was a stare.
"You didn't even tell me you had a condition in the first place" Takajo stated. "But I do care, at least somewhat" he added with a casual tone.
"It really is different when you deny things rather than accepting them huh?" Sara stated with a sigh.
"Want me to write that for you?" Takajo asked while reaching for a pen.
"Yes, please" Sara nodded whilst watching Takajo write on a blank page on her notebook.
This was actually a normal sight that would befall once in a while upon their meetings. Takajo would often (everyday) visit Sara in her house to check up on her, not even bothering to sugarcoat his intentions since when he had heard of Sara's supposed condition. He immediately got rid of his facade and just stayed casual in talking to the girl while letting out occasional smiles that he had been suppressing when he was around her.
Takajo then looked at Sara after he had written what she wanted.
"Still..." Takajo said before giving some thought of what he should say as he continued. "I'm surprised you can even get sick" he teased much to Sara's frustration.
"You're being weird again Jiro-kun" Sara said whilst pulling her blanket to cover half of her face leaving only her eyes and nose present, as her voice became muffled. "And this isn't just any normal sick, you know? You're probably just teasing me... again" Takajo clearly heard her mumble. As he knew the girl was currently pouting making him laugh slightly.
He then noticed that the girl's eyes became rather droopy, which was slightly unusual since he knew the girl had a good night's rest. Sighing silently, Takajo knew what he had to do but with something different...
"Want me to read you a book?" Takajo offered as Sara nodded vigorously hearing the statement shaking off her tiredness. "Okay then..." the boy stood up from his chair.
For some reason, the notebook that he held earlier ago was carefully concealed behind him.
"...I'll just make a quick visit in my house and retrieve a book there to read for you, okay?" he stated. And as he was about to walk, he was promptly stopped when his sleeve was pulled making him glance curiously towards the girl.
"...You'll come back right?" Sara meekly asked while still holding his sleeve making Takajo sigh albeit in a more good-natured one.
Takajo then grasped her soft hand carefully while clutching it with the same intensity as he nodded with a smile.
"Of course I will" Takajo said. "Didn't I say something like that and you made me write it so you can also remember it?" he asked while Sara nodded.
"Hmmm..." Sara nodded before hesitantly letting go of Takajo's hand. "But be quick okay?" she asked making Takajo nod.
"It will only take a moment" the girl smiled hearing those words as the boy then exited her room. And as the boy's form had passed by her door with a soft close, she closed her eyes whilst having a peaceful smile on her face, as she muttered...
"...thank you again... Jiro-kun"
The door closed with a soft slam as Takajo's hand tightly grip the doorknob as his face held a sad grimace.
"...about three hours, huh?" Takajo muttered before scowling which seemed solely intended for himself before he leaned by the closed bedroom door as he looked up towards the ceiling. "It's getting worse..." he mumbled before shaking his head as he gave a long drawn out sigh.
Steps then could be heard by the stairs as Takajo immediately straightened himself before wiping his eyes as he faced the newcomer.
"Takajo-chan" a woman in her late twenties that resembles Sara made her presence known.
"Menako-san" Takajo bowed for a greeting. "Good morning. Sorry again for visiting abruptly" he stated while the female just shook her head.
"You're always welcome here Takajo-chan" the female assured with a soft smile before frowning as she looked apologetic. "In fact, I should be the one apologizing for not telling you of the condition my daughter is currently experiencing and how you check up on her everyday" it was now Takajo's turn to shake his head.
"An apology is not needed" Takajo stated. "I can somewhat understand since it's more of a personal matter and I'm merely an outsider in your business"
"You're more of an outsider Takajo-chan" the female stated firmly. "I'm very grateful for your efforts to make my daughter's life more meaningful" the mother said with gratitude in her voice. "And if anything... you've become relatively closer, if not, something in the level of family" she added.
Takajo wanted to deny such a claim. But then chose to keep quiet as he knew that there was no more reason in dissuading the mother of his friend.
"And I'm also very grateful for you on keeping an eye out for her" the female mentioned making Takajo confused. "She desperately wanted to go to school and ask me multiple times until I accepted" she stated.
Takajo could only give a nod as he knew having a person with a condition such as that shouldn't even think of leaving their own home.
And it was pretty obvious who was that certain figure in the shadows that kept him alert at all times.
"But still..." Takajo started getting the female's attention. "It's hard to believe that girl can have a condition so... severe in the first place" he said as he returned his stare towards the ceiling. "Being way too cheerful and all that" he added with a sigh.
"...seems like what she said about her surviving a car crash is true after all" Takajo stated as a bitter smile adorned his face.
Truthfully, Takajo himself was feeling two distinct emotions upon knowing the supposed condition that Sara was currently suffering from.
One was of course, honest surprise. Since this was the ever cheerful and endless excitable Sara that he was talking about. This may come a bit rude, but a smaller part of him has always regarded the girl could pass off as an idiot.
And this was not just him talking randomly or sarcastically for that matter, no. Once you spend enough time with the girl in question... anyone would reached the similar conclusion, though the only difference that it was just him who has actually reached that far.
'Yep, what an idiot...' Takajo thought with a dry chuckle.
A cognitive disorder where the memory is disturbed or lost...
The girl, Sara Menako, he was referring to has a condition called amnesia.
If you hit the books or listen to a doctor's ramblings, you may find out that there are two kinds of amnesia. Sara Menako currently belongs to one of those categories, though...
Takajo silently gritted his teeth as he remembered the specific category Sara is grouped with.
'You just had to possess the worst between the two, huh?' Takajo thought as he vividly remembered what kind of amnesia Sara currently has.
Anterograde Amnesia is a selective memory deficit, the inability to remember events, resulting from brain injury or disease.
It also refers to a decreased ability to retain new information. As the said new information from the short term memory is the one that's entirely affected. Long-term memories from before the event remain intact.
Its causes can be broad but it is directly related to brain or neurological injuries like; head trauma, traumatic events or physical deficiencies.
Normally, amnesia could only just be temporary. Kind of like how a person progressively remembers each of those events, given the right amount of time or something close or familiar is exposed for them to see, hear, feel or etc, even if that time could reach months to years.
This could also apply to anterograde amnesiac patients, even though the possibility is lower than those that have retrograde amnesia; loss of memory-access to events that occurred, or information that was learned, before an injury or the onset of a disease.
But for Sara's case however...
If what the girl said was true about surviving a car crash...
The idea is actually simple to understand in that specific point. Even if Takajo or anyone for that matter would deny the conclusion, no matter how ugly or impossible it is... there was always common sense that would block their denial many times over.
Imagine, a girl with a rather scrawny and undeveloped body that didn't even exceed her teenage years. Be smacked with a fast-moving contraption directly to the most fragile body part of her body yet something intervened known as "luck" to "assure" her survival.
It was fortunate enough for the girl to be alive much less comatose, instead of death intruding after such an accident.
In simpler terms, Sara Menako was lucky enough to survive death in her face with a body of a child absorbing the almost fatal blow. Though it didn't mean that she came out unscathed...
Thus, came the worst kind of amnesia that a ten-year old girl could possibly have of all things...
'Wait...' thought Takajo as he pondered about something.
He was not a doctor but after knowing how his... friend previously suffered such a harsh condition, there was still that urge to discover the specifics of said disease.
Amnesia indeed does pertain to loss of memories before or after an injury, right? Then can it also be relevant to the-
Takajo didn't even finish his thoughts as he hastily shifted his head to face the silent mother.
"Is Sara-" his own words got stuck in his throat but nonetheless it got the female's attention. Takajo coughed before continuing but there was still the slight stutter as he spoke. "I-Is Sara normally this active since the start?" he asked.
The mother just tilted her head confused by the sudden question. Takajo noticed this and proceeded to asked something different but something similar.
"Does Sara have any friends other than me?" Takajo asked before he realized what he had stated. "S-Sorry for being insensitive I-"
"It's okay" the mother assured with a smile making Takajo sigh mentally. "As for your question... yes she did have many friends but..." the female trailed off but Takajo held unconsciously on a certain feeling.
He didn't know why there was something lingering in his mind amidst the obvious distraught that he was currently feeling. He didn't even care enough to deny that emotion from the start. But nonetheless that certain influx remained as it gradually became more prevalent than the rest.
That certain stir can be called as anything and can be felt by anyone...
...and yet there was no mistaking it.
The sensation that remained elusive...
...but have shined the brightest in tragedies.
The distinct feeling that always accompanied wishes...
It was simply the emotion called Hope.
The emotion that Takajo subconsciously was leaning on to assure himself that there was a certain mistake.
And that feeling that exuded radiance became dimmer in each passing second as Takajo heard the mother's continuous claims.
"Upon knowing the condition that she was befallen to..." the mother seemed hesitant but nonetheless continued.
"Some of them just left because of reasons like pity, intolerance and plain anger"
Takajo didn't even need an explanation in order to understand the cause of those so called "reasons" for the girl to become so alone.
While amnesia does indeed affect a person's overall experiences, it did not specifically determine the emotional feelings into account of the patient.
What someone would feel that they have friends from the start before their continued fun simply vanishes like thin air?
What someone would feel that they may just be a bother because they can't remember anything at all afterwards?
What someone would feel that they indeed have friends that stood beside them before they just ignored your existence because you've done something "wrong"?
You can't just ignore emotions so easily after all, more so the complicated ones. While it may diminish, it must first grow to a certain point enough for the person to completely accept it.
But there was still amnesia that should be taken into account. How can you remember something you felt if something forces you to forget it before realizing what it is?
Even though the "experience" was forgotten, it still compiles "bit by bit" until it became more prevalent... more instinctual.
Simply put, the multitude of emotions that Sara felt while her "friends" left her even if they were forgotten piled up in a specific space called a "heart" until it grew as she instinctively urged to find "something".
...Something "interesting"
Takajo chuckled derisively... as he now somewhat realized what Sara was "unconsciously" searching for. He can also understand as to why Sara reacted rather emotionally when he was mad at her for doing something "wrong".
He also had thoughts of Sara having a chance to remember... since he himself have been witnessed to the sight of her same annoyance, same excitement and same smiles, the same personality that he was subjected to every single day.
But as he once thought, it was not specifically determined. It might only just be desperation on his side, enough to think of it further as a mere coincidence...
...or was it?
Looking towards the small notebook that he was clutching, he immediately knew that his impromptu decision couldn't be anything more correct to prove something that he can do, even though it was way too early, absolutely risky, tremendously painful and... incredibly selfish.
He was still the so called mature Takajo after all... with a rather "mature" feelings as well.
"...that's the only thing that she uses to remember you, you know?" the mother said as she laid her eyes on to the small yet significant notebook that the boy was holding on. "She also said that she preferred writing more than typing because it's complicated" she claimed jokingly.
"Well..." Takajo said as he silently laughed from the mother's claim before handing out the notebook to her arms. "I highly suggest that she doesn't need this if she wants to remember me afterwards" giving a slight grasp on the only object that practically connected them as it landed on the mother's hand.
The female could only have widened eyes before Takajo passed by her. But it eventually became a face of realization as she look somber.
Without turning, she spoke making Takajo stop.
"I can understand your actions somehow..." the mother stated. "Her past friends would just give her some words of encouragement before leaving her... and normally people upon knowing would just leave because they don't want the feeling of getting hurt, even claiming that it was for their own sake" the female added with a bitter tone.
"What about my own daughter? Sure she can't remember for long... but it still truly hurts to see her completely devoid of any memories, the experience that she had wanted to remember and treasure in her heart, completely gone..." the female spoke with a tone of hope that maybe, just maybe, the boy behind him could reconsider his supposed decision.
To befriend a girl that might not remember anything at all.
To stay beside her even if those moments were akin to fakeness.
To share smiles that would not eventually last long.
To stand and persevere just for "her sake" and only her.
To be something"interesting"...
"I can only hope that you are different..."
The feeling called "hope" appeared once again... but how can it be answered when it was directed towards the person that got his own "hope" diminished?
Takajo sighed as he knew that the female was mistake of everything... except one.
"I'm not all that different from the others, Menako-san" Takajo informed as he turned around to show decisiveness making the female grew lonelier.
But just like his hope, it also diminished...
...as her own version of hope brightened because of what Takajo said next.
"Apart from one thing... you are mistaken of everything Menako-san" that got the female's head to shoot upwards.
"I'm not doing this for her own sake at all, since I also learned to be more selfish while she was around" Takajo proclaimed with an honest tone, as his lips cracked a smile before turning around. "Thank you again for having me today Menako-san..."
"...but I'm sorry if I have to intrude later this afternoon again, since I still have to read a book for her" he stated before waving as he descended down the stairs, leaving the female that didn't even bother to rub her tear-stricken eyes.
The proclamation was crude, easily forgettable and overall lame by normal standards since the source worded it with a seemingly half-hearted and casual tone... but it was not.
The woman knew it was anything but that... because the boy's thinking was just way too "different".
And that only made her feel assurance that her hope was answered since the boy was different.
There was a reason that the feeling called hope strictly remained elusive and almost unreachable to any other person...
"This is just pay back for all the annoyance that you caused me Sara" Takajo stated as he marched out of the Menako household.
Despite his statement, it never failed to hide the sheer conviction reflected in those gray blue eyes, as the smile on his face became determined.
"...this is also a thank you, so just shut up and be accept my gratefulness"
...since the moment you feel it's worth...
If anyone doesn't want to be "interesting" for her... then he'll just take that role for "his own sake"... in a more selfish approach of course, since Takajo won't admit that this was for Sara's sake but his own.
A pair of hazel brown eyes opened briefly as if hearing words that were so far away, before it promptly closed as a soft and simple undistinguishable smile graced her lips.
"...J...ir...o-k...u...n...?"
...everything becomes more interesting.
"..."
A Year Later
But everything, eventually, fades and disappears after a given amount of time right?
And every person's curiosity about something will also certainly diminish, so that a new subject piques their interest.
"..."
"Jiro-kun... are you alright now?" Sara stated as she looked at Takajo seating adjacently towards her.
"Yeah, my fever's gone yesterda- wait, how did you know about that?" Takajo asked back in wonder.
"My mother told me silly" Sara chuckled making Takajo slightly blush, though the cause wasn't defined if it was because of obvious common sense or the giggle of a cute girl.
"A-Anyway" Takajo coughed before continuing as he realized something again.
"Did you just call me Jiro-kun?" the boy tilted his head in confusion but his mind was currently in a small turmoil.
It had been a year since Takajo was informed of Sara's sicknes- no, it would be more proper to call it something akin to destiny itself.
She was in a situation where she is forced to spend each and every single day to remember that moments like these wouldn't last that long and would continue until the day she died... though she would also forget to remember that particular bit.
The prior analytical Takajo was skeptical of the concept since he himself proclaimed that he was "mature", thus only believing a concept if it was proven.
But the current Takajo knew he was wrong since the evidence was just right in front of him...
...and the fact that his so called picture of maturity was slowly changing to something more profound each and every single day, where he would spend his time with the destiny-ridden girl... if that was possible at all.
"Is there something wrong?" Sara asked thinking if she got his name wrong.
"I told you that my name is Jojiro Takajo, right?" Takajo said whilst feeling two distinct emotions arising within him that he hated and longed for.
It was just like back then... where things would just get thrown towards him quite unexpected and where his own unscientific, improbable and truly desperate way of thinking that had presumed that Sara's condition could have been mistaken because of that nickname...
A nickname so simple yet the very same nickname that annoyed, irritated and...
"..."
And the only thing that could have reminded her of that particular moniker was a certain notebook that the girl had used prior in remembering the moments that she should have treasured.
...including him.
"Well..." Takajo said as he shrugged. "You can call me anything you like" he stated making Sara nod happily.
"Then I'll call you Jiro-kun!" Sara proclaimed excitedly making Takajo's eyes widen for a brief second.
'No, it's just a coincidence Jojiro' thought Takajo as he remembered the very same behavior that Sara would show.
The same thing that he would tell himself in each and every single day, when it was time to prove that it was all his selfishness that drove him to stay in the vicinity of the girl who can't remember.
"...thank you Jiro-kun" Takajo was brought out of his musings when Sara shyly looked at him.
"W-What for?" Takajo asked.
The girl who was trapped by destiny just smiled towards the boy who hates unexpected things.
"For being there for me... Jiro-kun"
Two Years Later
Following the "principles of fascination"; someone's interest needs to slowly disappear in order for a new or old one to take its attention.
Hope functions the same way.
"..."
"D-Did you just confess to me?" Takajo said with an uncertain tone, as his brain managed to reboot after a few seconds before proceeding to blush.
Sara just gave a smile bewitchingly as she slowly took steps in front of Takajo who proceeded to step back making her pout.
"Muu~" Sara said with a cute voice that immediately struck Takajo. "That's not a proper reaction when a cute girl confesses to you, Jiro-kun" she whined though there was a hint of amusement in her tone.
"And that confession can't just be said without proper constitution!" Takajo retorted. Despite the statement could have indirectly pertained to Sara's condition, the latter just pouted more in response.
It was a certain agreement that the both, Takajo mostly, have decided. Even if one can't remember the moments that have passed and if the other can't admit that what he was doing was anything but selfish.
...both genuinely wanted to share the time that was left remaining... yes, left remaining.
Takajo then sighed as he scratched the back of his head.
"Even if I did accept your feelings..." Takajo trailed off before his features grew solemn.
"You only have a year left before leaving right?"
It had been two years since Takajo was informed of Sara's sicknes- destiny.
And the statement that he had said was also factual, no matter how it greatly troubled him.
The reason was in the lines of -because the girl's father, who was overseas, decided that her treatment should be better off to another hospital in another nation. With a more comfortable environment and where the family can reunite- or something like that.
But whatever the cause, sudden or unexpected, it was inevitable no matter how both concealed their dislike about the decision.
"Yeah I uh..." Sara looked as if she was having trouble in expressing her thoughts which Takajo saw.
The latter also knew that the same duo of emotions in his mind can never be mistaken... both from the sudden planned departure and how the girl could have remembered that she had stolen his first kiss to warrant enough affection.
But...
"Fine..." the words came out soft but it still made the girl blink in bafflement.
"What?" Takajo shuffled uncomfortably.
...he knew that the girl in front of him needs more of his attention more than anything.
It was the least he could do for being so "selfish".
"I'll... accept your affections even if it's only temporary" Takajo stated with a firm voice unlike earlier.
Unknown towards the fact that his following words would greatly affect the girl...
"I may not return your unrequited feelings with my own... but I can understand since I may just have the similar, if not, close enough camaraderie" Takajo lamely reasoned.
The response was the unconscious clutching of her left chest feeling something throbbing...
It was as if his words were triggering something that should have started way earlier.
"Even though your feelings are a spur of the moment or something like that... I can't just disregard the times that we shared even if you can't remember them at all" Takajo scratched the back of his head.
The response was the droplets of water that emerge within her eyes that signified anything but sadness...
It was as if his words were allowing something strictly kept to burst out.
"And you can even say that it's too impractical and nonsensical that I stayed for this long, much less made you somehow developed this kind of feelings and the fact that you can even regard me as a stranger if I hadn't kept in touch, but..." Takajo took a deep breath before looking towards the girl.
"You just had to annoy and irritate me to the extreme that I found myself changing along the way..." Takajo shook his head lightly. "...and you can't just brush aside someone that changed you this greatly Sara..."
"...so you might as well expect that each time you wake up, you have to see someone as stupid as me"
"..."
"But remember that I'm merely doing it for myself and since your cute and al-" Takajo tried to play the selfish card as he realized what he just said but was promptly silenced when Sara launched herself towards him.
"Jiro-kun!" Takajo felt the girl's body over him as he almost lost his balance.
"Hey! You don't need to be so excited! I-!" the selfish boy was ignored again when the forgetful girl proceeded to nuzzle her cheek towards him, making them both blush.
"I love you... Jiro-kun!"
Three Years Later
[Play: Kimi no Moji (ANANT-GARDE-EYES/Jun Maeda) Charlotte (O.S.T)]
Then... for how long does a boy's supposedly selfish effort to a girl's so called subconscious hope last until it will give birth to something new? Or...
...was there a chance for Takajo's own unanswered hope to take the stage once more?
"..."
"...I guess this is it" Takajo said as he heard the door close giving the both of them privacy.
"Mn..." Sara nodded as she kept her eyes downwards towards her blanket.
The silence that befell them wasn't awkward by any means, you could even say that it was comfortable but it seemed that only one of them felt its calmness.
"You know I graduated" Takajo stated changing the topic before bending down as he picked up something in his bag. "See?" he showed three medals and each of them represented his achievements.
"Hey..." the soft voice of the girl prompted him to listen.
"W-What?" Takajo stated as he knew he had been noticed wanting to avoid the topic.
Three years have passed since Takajo was informed of Sara's so called stupid destiny.
And those three years have passed along with the eventual start of the separation of the two individuals that kept having doubts, as one can't remember and one can't accept.
"Is it natural for me to miss you, even if I can't remember anything these past three years?" the girl's tone was a great contradiction compare to the tone the boy would usually hear.
But alas, it was not the time to think of unnecessary thoughts as Takajo himself knew that it was just avoiding the obvious situation that was placed in front of him.
"No it doesn't" Takajo bluntly replied as he knew that this was what on Sara's mind.
It wouldn't even take a genius to figure out what was in the girl's mind in the first place.
Imagine, a boy with mature issues coupled with continuous denial and a hint of hatred towards the unexpected, be matched with a girl with annoyance and irritation practically glittering amidst her every steps and possessing a condition that disables her to remember new memories.
A duo that should have never met since the traits that they hold didn't even relate to each other, much less, traits that are just way too different.
There was always common sense if looking at it in the girl's condition, it was normal for her to not feel any kind of emotions since the boy that she had met and his interactions with her had been completely wiped out, and you can't just feel any kind of closeness to a person without remembering them in the first place.
Whereas, for the boy however, he shouldn't even think of staying for long, much more, when he himself knew that the girl would be unable to remember anything and just proceed to end up feeling lonely afterwards because of the pain.
But since fate had intervened, it became possible... and stable.
"But I'll surely feel something, you know" Takajo sighed as Sara looked at him sadly with a forlorn frown.
"Sorry, I know I've been giving you hardships... which I can't remember but I-" Sara was cut-off when Takajo laughed making her confused.
"I guess this is just the result of being selfish huh?" Sara stood confused at Takajo's claim.
"Why?" the girl voiced out her thoughts. "It should have been me that's selfish right?" she asked.
"Nope, it's all me" Takajo stated with an easy smile. "I didn't stay this long for your own sake at all" he proclaimed with a resolute tone as he stood up.
"Wait..." Sara stated as she tried to reach out but Takajo kept on walking towards the door.
Takajo stopped walking as he held the doorknob with a tight grip, his face showing the unrestrained sad grimace that he would show every time he steps out of her room.
And he would continue to hide it for the girl who can't remember.
That was how selfish the boy is.
"...can you remember the same nickname that you would often say to me?" the selfish boy knew that it was impossible since he was asking the forgetful girl.
Compare to the things that he endured and no matter how he calls himself as "selfish". The boy- no, Takajo wanted to at least hear the simple nickname that Sara would subconsciously refer to him as.
The very same nickname that gave him two distinct emotions that made him stay for three years, tending to the girl that asked for someone "interesting"...
But it seems that fate became cruel once more, like what it had done when it let the two met in the first place.
The silence could be described as peaceful and calm, but for Takajo it was an answer.
An answer that acted as a response to his impossible question...
With a sigh, Takajo opened the door, but not with a final mutter of...
"...Goodbye Sara"
The door closed. But if maybe, just maybe, if the door had been held for a single second before closing...
...Takajo's impossible question would have been answered.
"Guess that's that" Takajo said casually as he walked the streets.
His features remained complacent acting as if the one-sided farewell was only a dream.
...but that was all merely it... acting.
The boy's mind went to the possibility of them meeting in a more normal setting, without any kind of doubts, mental conditions or fate introducing them with contradicted traits.
...but that was all merely it... possibilities.
"But that's impossible though" Takajo stated as his gaze settled on the blue endless sky.
Yes it was impossible... since those two persons wouldn't be the same Jojiro Takajo and Sara Menako and their interactions would never be the same.
"..."
If one asked Takajo what he thought about the three years that have passed. He would normally answer that it had been hectic and chaotic as he knew that a certain girl will constantly stay by his side at all times.
But if he was being truthfully honest however...
Takajo would hide his embarrassment upon seeing the cute stare of Sara since it was the first sight he would be met once waking up in the morning.
Takajo would sigh in acceptance since Sara had opened his eyes to something called exercise and even encourage him to keep his body fit.
Takajo would just turn around and show a smile since Sara would go so far as to make his day lively and escape the realm of boringness.
Takajo would conceal his astonishment and wonder as to why Sara would show such a side to him and only him.
Takajo would cover his chuckles seeing how Sara was so bold in joking around class whilst the female teacher would try to tone down the class.
And...
"...Sara... thank you..." Takajo stated as he felt water pouring down his eyes before proceeding to wipe it off as he continued his venture towards his home.
...Takajo would say a simple thank you that he failed to utter within Sara's presence.
"..."
And that was the end of the story of how two individual with varying sense of reality met.
You could even say that their tale was just like any other and absolutely normal...
...minus all the part where that simple meeting abruptly changed one's overall perspective of life.
You can also say that their meeting was simply a mistake that was written poorly by fate and destiny, as they were a conflicting match since the start.
But all meetings upon starting are needed to advance eventually right?
And in that state of advance you learn something.
In their case however, it was mostly about fear of the unexpected and simple hope.
Two completely different concepts but have underlying similarities.
Just like the two of them.
You can't just achieve "hope" easily when the "unexpected" is absent.
Likewise, when there is something "unexpected", someone's "hope" will be affected.
But unexpectedness and the feeling of hope will also eventually fade.
They are two examples of things that are only temporary.
Much like the meeting of a selfish boy and a forgetful girl...
And even if only one remembers, both emotions will continue to linger until it will emerge again, thus starting the cycle all over.
It is inevitable similar to a simple farewell.
A natural occurrence in this harsh reality that is needed to exist as it is in the balance...
"...no matter much how I grew to despise the both of them"
Present Time
Hoshinoumi Academy
[Play: Asa (ANANT-GARDE-EYES/Jun Maeda) Charlotte (O.S.T)]
Nishimori walked amidst the quiet hallways of a particular building in the Hoshinoumi Academy campus.
Her student council members and friends would have protested in her walking alone, much less, going outside to get some fresh air. Knowing the fact that it wasn't relatively safe and there were "dangers" lurking around.
But it was all stopped with a simple silent stare that came from the idol that greatly weirded them out for some reason.
Nevertheless, she was allowed by the student council president aka Nao Tomori to continue with her plans but it may had not been possible, if not, for the insistence of the {One-Eyed Grim Reaper} aka Yu Otosaka to completely assure the white haired girl.
Though the idol could hear the latter mention about an exchange that needed constant attention or doting or in those lines, which the former hurriedly left herself out as she knew that the two couples were probably discussing about something... couple-like.
But the boy in her head however...
"Where is Takajo-san?!" Nishimori pouted as she looked around for any signs of the blue-gray haired teenager.
The idol then displayed a solemn expression as she remembered the discussion that they had last night.
Despite her... air-headed-like mind, she can understand divulging such personal information would have taken him or anybody for that matter immense security and trust in the receiver.
And that was why the poor idol was currently blushing whilst trying to restrain said redness.
"Keep your act together Yusa!" the idol placed her hands on her cheek before her expression turned solemn once more.
"He's an idiot too" Nishimori stated with humped as she understood one measly fact about our resident fanboy.
Selfish?
He was just so-
The idol stopped as her eyes fell upon a white rectangular shaped paper lying in the middle of the hallways.
Nishimori glanced left and right then after seeing that there was nobody in sight, she promptly made her way near the object before picking it up.
"...A letter?" Nishimori stated as she recognize the object and after some hesitation, she folded the letter as it opened.
As she read it after a few moments, her blue eyes became widened as her jaw dropped slightly indicating surprise and shock before distress immediately filled her being.
Wasting no time, she proceeded to turn around whilst clutching the letter in her hand tightly before sprinting back to the student council room.
Seeing the clubroom in sight, the idol, completely forgetting to show elegance, proceeded to abruptly open the door with a slam making Yu and Tomori surprise, the latter more so.
"What the-!" Tomori was cut off when the panting idol managed to voice out her concerns.
Concerns about a certain fanboy that was way too similar to her reaction when he finished his life story...
"Takajo-san is hopeless!"
"Eh?"
Yep, he is isn't he?