I slouch down the halls sluggishly and quietly, my head down. My eyes are heavy, my heart aching and with each step my body drags with exhaustion. I believe if I stop for a moment I may fall asleep. I continue on towards the infirmary, knowing they deal with any room issues, hoping it will be sorted quickly so I can receive more than a few hours sleep. The sliding door seems to take longer to open than usual and my head begins to throb. I approach the desk and ask the droid for a new room key.

"Why do you not have one?" It asks in a monotone voice.

"I wasn't given one," I am being truthful. Starla had only provided me with one key, which in turn I gave to Rey.

"Where have you been staying if you do not have a room?" It interrogates.

"I shared a room, but that is no longer an option," the droid stares blankly at me for a moment, weighing up its trust. Security command must have lowered the droid's trust function in the aftermath of Koden's betrayal.

"What is your name?"

"Finn," the droid processes this for a while, staying silent as the facial recognition files receive confirmation.

"Will you need permanent residency?"

I shake my head; "No just for a few nights," The droid seems to be suspicious of me, but maybe I just can't read anything that doesn't show facial expressions. It slowly moves to the detailed hologram files on the bench, turning them slowly and mechanically.

"Finn, we have multiple availabilities, would you like to book a room?"
"Yes, please," I ignore the fact that the droid is aware the only reason I am standing here is to receive a room. I assume it is protocol to confirm any changes made to the system.

"Okay, here is your key, room number 9, have a nice stay," I nod a thank you, pick up my bag and take the card and put it in my shorts pocket. I know my way down the halls well enough now that I don't need to look at the numbers; I just follow the familiar corridors.

I take the key out, swipe it and enter before putting it back in my pocket. The room is the same size as my first room here, identical in every way. I place my bag on the shelf in the wardrobe which is filled with complementary clothes, as always. I collapse on the bed without even removing my boots. I enter a deep sleep almost immediately.

I wake and open my eyes, having to blink a few times to adjust to the darkness; the sun having set long ago. I groan, pulling my shirt over my head and removing my boots and socks. I drag back the large bed cover to reveal the thin sheet underneath; I crawl under it and press my face against the pillow.
I sigh. An abysmal emptiness seems to continuously gnaw at me; I close my eyes – the image of my hands around Rey's throat flashes brightly. I decide keeping my eyes open is the best idea, so I just stare into the darkness.

My room gradually becomes lighter as the sun rises, it is barely dusk when I evict myself from my sheets. I slip my shirt back on and leave the room.
I walk past the dining hall, the large door is not open yet; but I am not even hungry. I step quietly around the corridors, walking aimlessly, I don't even know what I was planning to do, where I was planning to go, I just couldn't lie on that mattress any longer. As my thoughts wandered I had not realised my feet had guided me outside. I see the Falcon in its usual place, and walk in the direction of it. The ramp is lowered, so I step on board and walk into the small make shift medical bay Chewie and Poe created for Rey and I. My feet lead me to where the chair is brought right up close to the bed; I run my fingers along the back of the seat and think about the way we kissed so gently, so tentatively. I close my eyes, shaking my head, trying to rid myself of the little flame that ignites at the memory. I quickly rush off the freighter, and crash through the tree line. I sprint up the hills covered in purple wildflowers until I am far away, so far that I cannot hear the constant hum of the base's generators. The grass is soft beneath my toes and I realise in that moment I hadn't put on socks or shoes before leaving my room. I continue to wander through the forest, and feel as if I can breathe a little bit better now. The sensitive and soft skin of my feet press into large stones and sharp sticks, but I don't really register the pain because I dedicate all my attention to the way the rising sun shines through the leaves and dapples the forest flower with golden freckles.
The trees start to thin out, and I emerge into an enormous glade where a gorgeous lake shimmers in the morning light. I walk towards it, disturbing the muddy shore as I walk into the cold water. It feels lovely against my skin, so soothing and gentle.
Just like Rey…
To try and drown her face from my mind I drive into the deep water, completely submerging myself, clothes and all. My feet slip on the muddy lake bed momentarily before I find a secure footing and break the surface, running my hands over my face to clear the droplets from my eyes.

The water is cold, but heats up steadily as the sun rises further into the open sky. I dip my head under every time my mind wanders and it seems to help. Will my ears blocked by the surging water and my eyes closed it stops the voices and memories from taking over.
I spread out flat on the surface of the lake, floating further out from the shore.

I stay in the water until my fingers wrinkle and my soaking shirt makes me itch. Once I wade into the shallow water I become aware of how heavy my clothes have become, and another weight presses upon me too. I wring out my shirt and shorts the best I can before I delve into the forest and try to find my way back to the base - I probably should have paid more attention on my way in. I trudge through the forest with muddy feet; a layer of grass, dirt and leaves begins to stick to them as I try to find my way out. I believe I may of passed the same place multiple times before I finally rise over the hills and onto the tarmac. I leave a trail of water and gross and murky forest floor footprints along the asphalt; trying my best to scrap it off before I enter the base.
Droplets still drip from my clothes and onto the floor as I walk through the barracks. Thankfully no one seems to notice, that is until C3PO shuffles towards me, stopping me in the hallway.
"There you are, sir, I have a message from General Organa. She wishes to see you in the conference room. She is waiting for you now," he twists his body, gesturing with his red arm in the direction of the military compound.

"Thank you," I dismiss the droid. As I walk down the hallways I contemplate quickly changing from my wet attire, but decide the General must have been waiting for a while and I'd prefer to arrive wet than make her wait any longer.