Chapter Seven: A Test Run
"Codfish. Anemone. Squid ink-wait..."
Joe was at his limit. In the past hour alone, he had read every title on every visible surface he saw, named objects he could recognize due to his newfound intelligence like "lamp", "stairs" and "book", and was currently searching his brain for how to make the anti-fish potion. He theorized that the potion Rina had made him was incomplete; it required an extra ingredient to make it anti-fish, so he recited what he knew from memory and hypothesized what could be the potential last ingredient. Mostly, he was only doing this to escape the boredom of sitting belly-up in a fish tank. She could of at least set him near the window so he would have some form of entertainment to amuse him while he was locked up in this infernal place.
"Bored already, are we?"
Joe pried his head up to the bane of his existence, holding a suit?
"I don't suppose in the short time you were ruler, you ever learned to dance?"
"Not that I recall. Though I would've stuck it in some footnote of my very busy schedule. You know, after I finished my monuments and gotten my hands on that potion."
"Hmm, well today you will learn the waltz."
She say what now?
"Oh, as much as I would benefit from the distraction of boredom you put me in for the past two hours; I'm sort of preoccupied in this tank right now." Joe confirmed this by swimming in circles in his little cage.
"Aww, don't let that stop you," Rina pulled out the bottle Joe practically jumped out of his tank to make a mad grab for; the potion.
"Is this a trick?"
"Cards on the table: I have to go to some party with a bunch of snooty stuck up rich people who are probably only there for status rating or whatever, and I have a plus one I am required to bring as my, ahem, date."
Joe raised a brow at this, was she asking him out on a date?
"Uh, purely business relations of course! No romance of any kind, and I figured it'd be something you're into, plus I kinda need a good distraction from the other quote-unquote guests."
Joe pondered this a moment. Now Rina wasn't stupid; even before he knew she wasn't really a fish, Rina showed impressive strategy and deduction skills even he had to acknowledge. That being said, what was the hidden agenda behind just using him as a distraction from shmoozing with others of her own kind?
A handsome distraction, mind you, but why him?
"What's the catch?"
"No catch. So long as you don't do anything 'evil', I won't turn you back into a fish. Cross my heart!"
Joe narrowed his eyes at her before making a decision "Fine, but I get to lead in the dance, and no heavy drinking, I don't want to have to drag you on my back if you end up intoxicated."
"Deal!" Rina popped the lid off the bottle and transferred joe out of the tank into the middle of the floor. Joe, of course, didn't like having been limited his water supply, but as soon as he felt the potion pass his lips, that was quickly forgotten.
It was a little painful, mind you, growing new appendages. It wasn't like when he grew new fingers; he had two stalks pop out from his lower abdomen, his outer layer of scales were being ripped and shredded from the mass he was growing internally. All of that was nothing compared to the sudden replacement of another organ while the other seemed to dissipate and vanish. It was like someone forcing him to hold his breath by choking him, then the strange sensation of breathing something so thin, he started involuntarily hyperventilating from the new sensation.
Rina had covered him in a blanket she had set aside earlier and began coaxing him to breath normally with his new lungs.
"That's it, slowly, this is a lot to take in, I know." She patted him till he finally snapped back to reality, shaking the high he got from the sudden evolutionary mutation.
"Feeling better?"
"I think so." Joe answered between breaths.(note: even a villain has his moment of weakness, especially when u go from fish to man in twenty seconds)
"Good. Now I know I shouldn't ask you till you've calmed down, but can a human breath underwater?"
With his newly evolved brain, Joe quickly rationalized of course not- they-oh...
"No."
"I can tell by your face, you just realized?"
"But you said you'd change me back?"
"Ask me again in six hours. Until then, you might wanna put these on," Rina held out a pair of drawers. Why would she-gah! Joe realized his bits and pieces were now on the outside of his body! He quickly snatched the piece of clothing and began to dress himself. He only got as far as the drawers until he started having trouble with the buttons.
"I would have expected that from Brutus. If it wasn't for your age, I'd have considered that a little funny." Rina began showing him how to do up the buttons on his shirt and proceeded to help him with the tie.
"You've done this before." Joe observed.
"Sure, dressing is one of my many talents, next to cooking and making my bed."
Joe rolled his eyes, that was not what he meant at all. He felt ridiculous in the fact his brain could decipher the square root of six-thousand, five-hundred and fifty one but he couldn't tie a tie or button his shirt.
What was wrong with him? Not enough potion?
"Okay, last part, the jacket, then your all done."
Joe looked in the mirror of the attic. Not that he had to brag, but he looked sharp. She gave him a suit with thin red lines that gave a very businesslike appeal complete with accents of red and gold cufflinks. The only issue he had was his hair. It was sticking out in all directions, and to be honest, a little on the oily side.
"You can fix that in a second. Afterwards, we need to go to my friends' place to get you some dance lessons!"
For a fraction of a second, Joe thought to try to kill Rina now that he was human, but he quickly remembered he still needed to figure out how to change back and forth from being a fish.
He stared at her then took a long sigh,"Very well, but you're not going to a party dressed like that, are you?"
Rina's cheeks flushed as she fumbled at the skirt of her simple light blue summer dress.
"Maybe."
"If I could be so bold as to see your wardrobe, my lady?"
"You what!? I knew you were gonna pull something like this! Why didn't I try to talk you out of it this time!? This is going to be a very bad idea! Oh, I'm already feeling a migraine coming on, and a termination!" Tomo began breathing into her inhaler and fanning her plump red face from imploding.
Meanwhile, Rina and Joe sat cooley by the doorway, sharing glances of silent speech
"how much longer is she gonna go for?"
"Her limit is about an hour; but we don't have that time to waste."
"Should I hit her?"
"No, she'll just rant more. And longer."
"My new feet are getting tired"
"Oh, and mine don't feel just peachy in these stilettos you insisted on me trying on?"
"Right. Touché."
Finally, Tomo showed signs that whatever she was trying to rant about was coming to a close, her face flushed pink, huffing and puffing from the unfamiliar effort.
"Are you done?" Rina was used to her fiend acting this way, but knew she was always full of it when she said her ideas were all really bad ones, so far.
Tomo gave a heaving sigh then looked to Rina. "Ah- what are you wearing?" She pointed out the dress Rina was fidgeting in for the past twenty minutes she was relentlessly ranting. That, and she was wearing makeup for the first time.
The dress itself wasn't bad, just revealing. The dress had no sleeves and was tight in the midriff area, something Rina would never wear. She liked dresses she could twirl and move around in comfortably with ease; that dress, while flouncy in the skirt region, looked constricting.
Especially stifling on her chest area.
"I think she looks positively ravishing in that ensemble, even if it is dark blue."
"He wanted me to wear red so we'd be matching."
"Is this why you are thirty minutes late for your cram dance lessons?"
"That, and he insisted I wear makeup." Rina pulled Tomo aside so she was in ear shot. "He can't button up a shirt, but he was able to contour my makeup like it was nothing, how weird is that?!"
"Does he know how to dance?"
"I was under the impression you were going to teach us, oh bespectacled one." Joe gave her his signature creepy smile as he loomed over the two puny women.
"No." Was her final verdict.
"Come on Tomo."
"I don't get paid enough, and don't you even think to bribe me!"
"Fine, I'll ask the guys up at the corporation to give you a raise and some paid time off."
Tomo growled in frustration a little bit. Whenever she said no, Rina always did this. Not that she was complaining about a raise, but she hated how her friend treated impending doom like one handles a board game, you can't just bribe your assistant every time she resented a bad idea.
"And I'll buy you a whole new wardrobe, whatever you want."
Facepalm.
"Gr, fine! You there, front and center!"
Joe humored her did as he was told and stood in the center of the large floorspace.
"If you even so much as step on on of her toes-"
"Relax Tomo, I bet he doesn't even know what those are."
Tomo flailed her arms up in defeat, turning on the stereo for tonight's music accompaniment.
"It's a no-brainer, the basic waltz. You hold your partners hand in your right hand, while you steady her waist with your le- Rina! I meant his right!"
Rina blushed a little from the miscommunication, having also confused Joe when she took his left hand then fidgeted when they were called out.
"Now, you just side-step right, then back, then left. All while turning in a clockwise-er- Joe! That's not clockwise."
Joe rolled his eyes as he tried turning the other way, satisfying the little tyrant.
All in all, Rina was a little impressed at the fish's learning curve; he mastered the waltz faster than she did, in her defense he was leading most of the time.
Circumstances aside, Rina was glad Joe was putting forth an effort to hold a truce.
Even if he was evil.
"Okay, that was two try's away from being almost perfect. Joe, you don't need to lead Rina through the WHOLE dance; you can ease up and let her take the reigns."
"If I did, she'd step on me again. I'd rather not have my new shoes scuffed from uncoordinated feet."
"The fact those were bought with my money aside; he has a point. I'd sooner send him in my pond than attend another one of these yuck-fests."
"We are already cutting it close as it is. We only have a few minutes to get to the guest checklist announcer."
Joe couldn't decide if he should've laughed from the ridiculousness of these females, or ring their necks.
"Relax, Tomo. We can just warp there with seconds to spare."
"Wait!" Tomo ran out and returned with a paper bag and a pair of Q-tips. Joe raised a brow at this, but shrugged it off since he really didn't care.
"Okay... and warp!" Rina grabbed Joe and Tomo's hands as a swirling blue light appeared under their feet, engulfing their vision till they saw a familiar mansion belonging to their preppy, judgie host.
"This is going to be a long night." Rina's face dropped to brooding as swarms of paparazzi began circling them.
Joe didn't mind the attention, Tomo was annoyed at the lack of a path to get inside, and Rina was busy hiding behind the two to really think of a way inside.
"Yes, Miss Rina and I are very close; she even assisted me in a few construction blueprints to expand my marine empire."
And that was her cue...
"Oh that Joseph! He's so enthusiastic with his marine engineering research! Really, we must be going." Rina shoved her two human shields in front of her and used them to shove the cameras aside so they could enter.
Inside was exactly what you'd expect- red carpets with gold trim, white marble pillars with paintings on the ceiling that resembled the sixteenth chapel. In front of them were wide stairs leading to a large hallway of doors; one of these doors emanating with voices of sophisticated higher-ups, the cream of the crop so to say.
Nice to know he didn't lose his sense of taste in tacky.
"I must say, you humans certainly have an exquisite taste in decor. Why isn't your home like this, Miss Rina?" Joe said, taking in appreciation of the expensive atmosphere.
"I'm substance over style; I'm not one to spend millions of dollars to look the part of a millionaire. I know I have that money, that is nobody else's business."
"Oh." Joe deadpanned in a clearly demeaning fashion.
They entered the ballroom astounded. Everyone was dressed in elegant clothes, fine jewelry, and...masks?
Oh, well he was one for mischief.
Rina looked over the doorway and saw the announcer stocked with a box of masks of different kinds.
"I call dibs on the pink one!" Tomo picked up the pink and gold mask with diamonds around the eyes, it made her look like a princess.
"I'll take the least ridiculous mask you got."
The announcer hand chose a simple black mask with pointed ends on each side resembling fins. Rina chose the white mask that covered her entire face; it had gold trim with ribbons coming out of the sides. The announcer retrieved everyone's attention to announce the new guests, but Rina wondered how, he didn't even-
"Presenting our new guests, Miss pretty pink, Mister Mystery Black, and the elusive White Diamond!"
Everyone clapped accordingly and welcomed their new guests as they descended down another set of stairs.
"So far, I'm skeptical about your humans idea of entertainment." Joe whispered in Tomo's ear. She shuddered at his intense voice and stood closer to Rina.
"I'm sorry Rina, I forgot to mention this was a masquerade party; we are supposed to unmask and see the donors at midnight. The host insisted."
"That's cool, at least no one will bother me." Rina couldn't help but notice the air of uneasiness that seemed to hang in the air, particularly from some of the male guests. They seemed familiar.
"Who cares, didn't we come to dance?" Joe urged, not wanting the two miserable hours prior spent learning the waltz to go to waste.
As if on cue, music played to indicate the dance to commence. Joe fancily held out his hand for Rina. She humored him and gracefully accepted the dance.
It wasn't horrible, but it wasn't all to great either; Joe kept trying to hold her tighter around her waist to get to her bare back. It wasn't uncomfortable so much as it was ticklish, and by god would Rina start giggling like a hyena in front of all these people, high or low class alike. Again, she noticed the tense uneasiness mixed with something else, something stifling.
"You know, I really am trying." Joe moved his head closer so he was right in her ear. "I had even considered making a living here, starting over."
"You could try being CEO of a company; I've got some connections."
"You really are to good for your own good."
"Oh, smooth." Rina gasped a little when Joe moved to dip her then finished with bringing her in real close.
"Smooth like this?"
Rina sighed. Why did all her "guests" do this?
"I-"
"Hello there. Mind if I cut in?"
That voice...
Rina turned to see a man with tan skin and dark sleek hair, his face hidden with a turquoise reptilian mask. Like clockwork, the stranger pulled Rina away from her "other project" and maneuvered her around the crowd, away from a slightly irritated Joe.
"Working on a new novel, I see."
"Well, I-"
"I certainly never expected a bookish author like you to wear such a pretty number. Was that the influence of your new friend?"
"How did you-"
"I never forget a face, especially not a shy, awkward one like yours."
She was wearing a mask, how did-Then it hit her.
"Indigo?"
"Marina?" Indigo pulled her close so no one could see him remove his mask slightly to reveal his deep blue eyes that looked like sapphires.
Joe, finally recovering his other anxious escort, couldn't help but feel a little jealous. She may have been a major thorn in his side and reduced him to being basically a pet, he still harbored possessive feelings for her. "So, you wish to fill me in?"
Tomo anxiously hiked up her skirts and scrambled to the group, instantly recognizing those gripping eyes,"Rina, is that-"
"Long time, no see spazz."
Tomo frowned at the undesired nickname; he called her that because of her frantic pacing and jitterings while he visited. Indigo picked up on her mood and gave her a friendly pat on the arm, seemingly calming her.
"So Indi, you have any idea what's this about?"
"Yes and no. I know who's pulling the strings at this shindig, but I don't know why though; charities aren't really his thing."
The crowd hushed as the lights dimmed low and their host showed himself.
He wore a simple suit with a red cummerbund and a red carnation decorated on his breastpocket. He wore a red mask that only covered half his face, showing his right green eye and tufts of orange-red hair.
"Hello, my fellow horrors. Hehehe."
Slappy.
I am so so sorry I didn't update. I figured this story wouldn't get any traction, so it wouldn't be missed if it stagnated. But I have been touched that someone actually read this and is looking forward to another chapterAgain, very very sorry about the wait. It won't happen again. From now on, I'll attempt chapter update every two weeks. Thanks!