First thing I want to say is that I must have the best reviewers in the world, it was great to hear from so many of you, really made my day so thank you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter, it felt a little surreal writing it, I could hardly believe that we have come to this point in the story already. Any I'm sure you're all dying to see what happens after Jake is attacked, so please enjoy and don't forget to drop me a line if you liked it. Love always Tink. XX


Pausing mid stride I stopped pacing as I heard the noise of the wolves outside. I threw myself back onto the couch, taking a deep shaky breath. My nostrils flared as I took in the unmistakable scent of blood. Jake's blood. Fear hauled me back to my feet and to the doorway, where Jake stood uneasily balancing his weight between Quil and Embry.

My eyes widened in horror, as I looked him over. Beneath the beautiful russet of his skin he was pale and wan. I stared aghast, bile rising up in my throat. I swallowed it back. Never had I seen Jake look so weakened and vulnerable. Growing up he had seemed almost God like to me, a superhuman who never aged and was never ill. Any scrapes he got into healed quickly and I never saw him looking anything other than perfect.

This was something I had never thought to see, something I had never seen, something I realized I did not want to see again. He was bleeding, bruises marring his face and body. Red, raw and bloody claw marks stretched across the muscled expanse of his chest. His left eye was swollen and puffy.

My heart ached inside my chest as my eyes traveled over his face. It was torn and scratched, his lips busted and bloody. But already I could see evidence that he was healing; some of the smaller scratches were fading to faint pink marks, the blood congealing in his open wounds.

"Oh my god, what happened to you?" I asked him appalled, as he shuffled into the room. Rushing forward to help him, I ducked under his shoulder, taking some of his weight, helping him to the couch. Jake muffled a groan as he bent to sit, his hands coming up to the angry wounds across his ribs.

"Had a bit of an accident" he hedged and I realized instantly he thought I had no memory of what I was, of what he was. Shit. I had dug myself into this and now I could see no way out.

Quil and Embry exchanged puzzled looks behind him, and I smiled weakly at them.

"Where's Leah?" he asked them and pain splintered though me. He wanted her, not me. I supposed it was only natural but it didn't mean it had to hurt me any less. It was always going to be her wasn't it?

"Running patrol" Quil answered, shooting me a cautious look.

" Dammit does she ever listen…I told her to come back here… Go get her back I don't want anyone in the woods until we know what this things is" he told them, painfully his voice strained.

They hovered in the background a little while longer, clearly uncertain about leaving him alone with me. The scent of his blood was strong in the air, making my throat burn just a little. Jake had always been my favorite flavor. Yet it still rankled that they did not trust me not to hurt him.

Crossing my arms across my chest in a gesture I had seen Jake use so often I glared at them. Didn't they know I would never hurt him? Quil stared right back at me, unashamed of protecting his alpha. I knew at the end of the day they cared about Jake too and were just worried about him. Forcing myself to relax my defensive posture, I pasted on a reassuring smile as Embry muttured,

"You going to be okay Jake?" his eyes shifted from me to Jake and then back again.

He nodded "Just take a little while…I need to clean these wounds and then take a long hot shower"

"I can help with that," I blurted, wanting to do something for him. Needing to take away the obvious pain he was in. I felt every wince and hiss he made as though it were my own.

He looked at me quizzically; a weak but wicked grin appearing suddenly on his face and one eyebrow rose "You wanna give me a shower?"

Quil and Embry chuckled as my face filled with color, yes please, I wanted to blurt but settled for sticking out my tongue "Stay there I'll go get some iodine and cloths"

Scurrying from the room, I tried to ignore the images that filled my head of Jake in the shower, images I had seen already, his hard body wet and gleaming, so beautiful. Busying myself in the kitchen I gathered what I needed and returned to the room, my heart aching for Jake as I took in the true extent of his injuries.

He looked pale, his shoulders drooping, his eyes closed, lines of pain bracketing his eyes and mouth as he breathed raggedly. This time not from a kiss but from the pain. My poor, poor Jake.

"Jake?" I said hesitantly. His eyes opened and his warm gaze captured me, mesmerizing me.

Setting the bowl of fragrant water and cloths down on the coffee table, I perched next to him on the couch, more worried about him than I had been in a while.

"Bet you're wondering what the hell happened to me huh?" He asked his tone faintly amused but with a pained undertone.

I didn't know what to say. It seemed silly and so very immature to admit that I had faked my memory loss for a few cheap shots over Leah and to have him kiss me. I felt like such a fool, a silly, immature, little girl.

Reaching for a cloth I dipped it into the warm water and squeezed, as I shook my head "No, I remembered…most of it as you left…I know who you are…what we are…what happened to you? Who did this?"

He exhaled heavily, clearly favoring his lungs still and I felt an answering pain inside.

"There was a rogue-"

"Rogue?" I had no clue what he meant.

"A lone wolf…shifter I think…huge son of a bitch, bigger than Sam, bigger than me…he attacked me but it was weird…there was something off about him, I couldn't put my finger on it but there was something wrong…no normal wolf could do this to me"

"Do you think it's them?" I couldn't bear to say the word, I didn't want to think that they could be here already, that the danger had come for us.

He shook his head, his eyes closing for a second in pain.

"Pixie would have called, besides he was a wolf…last I heard there were no wolf leech hybrids…though it does seem too fucking coincidental…maybe you ought to check in with Alice later" he mused, as I cast my eyes over him once more.

His eyes closed again as he lay heavily against the couch, his injuries were taking more out of him than he was willing to admit.

"I will…so what are you going to do about it? Will Leah be okay, what if she runs into it?"

" Leah can take care of herself beside, Quil and Embry will bring her home…I'm gonna heal and them I'm going back out there to protect my pack, it's what I have to do…I couldn't forgive myself if something happened to one of them, I have to take it down"

I shook my head urgently, the thought of Jake putting himself in harms way again, made me feel physically sick.

"No Jake, it might just be passing through, you don't have to" I protested, rising onto my knees beside him so I could peer up into his face. Even sat down he towered over me.

"Nessie, I have to do this, it's my job…I need to keep them safe, they're my responsibility you know that"

"No you don't...look at what he's done to you already, just let him go Jake, please"

"I'm sorry Nessie but I have to…I'm going as soon as my wounds close, the sooner the better, I just can't take the chance that he won't attack one of them, I couldn't live with myself if they got hurt because of me"

Deep down I knew that Jake would not change his mind, his sense of responsibility and commitment was just one of the reasons I loved him and he would not be the same man if he backed away from his duty. I knew there was nothing I could say to stop him. His loyalty to his pack came before anything, they were his family.

I was immediately reminded of Leah and the kiss we had shared. The kiss I had tricked him into. That would hurt Leah. The sickness in my stomach swelled and I looked away from him. Taking a deep breath, I dipped the cloth into the cooling bowl of iodine and leaning across his chest dabbed at the drying blood on his cheek edging my way around one of the gashes.

"I'm so sorry Jake"

I apologized both for the pain I knew I was going to inflict on him and for the kiss I'd forced him into. I tried to ignore the hiss of breath, tickling my fingers as I pressed as gently as I could against his wound. The corner of his mouth kicked up in acknowledgment but he said nothing, just stared at me with his dark fathomless eyes. There was silence as I wrung out the cloth time and again, returning to his battered and bloody body.

Wiping away the blood smears from his chest, I prayed he would not notice how badly my fingers were shaking both from touching him this way and my fear for him.

"What have you got to be sorry for?" he eventually asked tilting his head to look down at me.

"You know earlier…kissing you," I mumbled, dipping the cloth again and then wiping away some dried blood, not wanting to look at him. Mortified was not the word.

"Why are you apologizing?" his voice was gentle, tender even and I felt a corresponding prickle of tears.

I huffed out a breath, embarrassed "Well you know, it's awkward with Leah and everything"

His hand snaked out and caught my wrist, stilling the motion of my hand as I made to clean the large angry crimson slash across his pectoral muscle.

"Ness, it's me who should apologize I took advantage of you, I know you don't feel the same, I know it was the bump on the head-"

"Please do we have to talk about this? Leah's gonna kill you when she finds out anyway" I mumbled, my cheeks hot and flushed.

I was mortified that she probably already knew which was why she hadn't come home yet. I knew about the pack mentality, that you could hide nothing from them, it worked in much the same way as my dad's ability. Poor Leah.

Was she somewhere right now, hurting, feeling betrayed by us? Pulling my hand from his wrist I continued with my ministrations, wondering was it wrong that I was enjoying this? Was I bad person for enjoying the way I could touch his body, feel his skin, be this close to him?

"Leah knows, she kinda saw everything when I shifted" he rumbled, watching my hands on his body as they stroked across him. Something glittered inside me, knowing he watched me so intensely.

"And you're still alive…She didn't do this to you did she?" I said in a feeble attempt to lighten the atmosphere.

Jake chuckled, wincing as he did so "Nessie, Leah may be able to kick your ass but there is no way in hell she can kick mine"

My relief must have shown on my face because he grabbed my hand again, as I stared at his chest, committing its perfection to memory, taking in every slide and pull of his muscles, every shift and play.

I had a feeling that after this I would be seeing a lot less of it "What is this obsession you have with Leah, Ness?"

"Gee Jake, why would I not be worried that your girlfriend had a front row seat of our earth shattering kiss? You know you can be so du-" I jumped startled, as Jake yanked on my hand, pulling me across his lap.

My eyes flew to my lap, inspecting a tiny speck of dust on my pant leg, unable to meet his gaze.

His other hand cupped my chin to make me look at him. I shivered, his eyes blazed down into mine, alive with a heat I was beginning to recognize. Heat shimmered inside me helpless response.

"What did you say?" he all but growled at me.

"I said I feel awful about Leah seeing our kiss… after what happened with Sam and Emily this most be a nightmare for her" mumbling I hung my head in shame.

My parents hadn't raised me to be this way. But I just could not help myself my feelings for Jake were just too strong. It was a poor excuse but it was the only one I had.

"Leah?" he repeated "Leah, my girlfriend?"

I rolled my eyes to disguise how much his words actually hurt me "Yeah Jake, can't you keep up...I thought it was me that took a knock to the head and lost my memory"

"This is what you were talking about the other night? You meant my relationship with Leah?" he was silent for a few seconds, looking at me speculatively.

"How did you find out about that by he way?" he suddenly asked me with a grin.

I really couldn't see what was so funny about this situation and huffed, shifting around on his knee, struggling against his embrace wanting to get down. This felt so right but I knew it was oh so wrong.

My eyes flew to his as he made a strangled sound like a moan. Oh shit! Was I hurting him. I scrambled to move, but his arms locked tight around me and when he spoke it was though gritted teeth.

"Will you please sit still Ness?" he moaned.

I thought once more of his injuries and I froze immediately. Oh, I was such a bad person to be lusting over his body when he was injured and obviously in agony. Bad Nessie.

"Now talk…tell me how you found out about me and Leah," he commanded, that smirk back on his face, his body language changing.

"Why?" I really couldn't face doing this; it was painful and embarrassing to admit that I had eavesdropped on them.

"Humor me" he grinned lazily, clearly enjoying himself despite the pain he must be in. I glanced down at his body once more. His wounds were still closing rapidly, the scarring beginning to form a pale pinkish silver, only the tempting scent of his blood remaining.

"It was the day we came here… I went upstairs to unpack and when I came down" I gulped, wiling the pain of the memory to go away and I began to tremble "When I came down I saw you…together" I emphasized.

He looked at me arching one eyebrow, the hands at my back began to slowly stroke up and down my spin, offering comfort, reassurance. Trying not to melt into a boneless puddle, my breath caught as frissons of awareness trickled through me. It was hard enough to do this without the delicious distraction of his hands. Was he really trying to drive me mad?

"And" he prodded waiting for me to continue; all the while his hands carried on their gentle stroking. I knew it was his intention to soothe me, to calm me, to encourage me I couldn't help it if my body had a mind of its own and I felt my pulse spike.

"I saw you together…I heard what you said about telling me, about how you had been lying to me all this time" I finished on a whisper, ashamed and embarrassed.

He groaned, his eyes squeezing closed for a brief second before popping open revealing his smoldering eyes.

"Nessie, Nessie, Nessie…you silly girl is that why you've been so awful to Leah? Why you barely said two words to me, why you've avoided being alone with me because… you think that Leah and I are together?"

I nodded, not proud of myself but relieved that at last it was out in the open.

"I'm sorry Jake, I really didn't mean to invade your privacy that way but it just happened…and I know I've been a bitch at times but I just, just…" I just couldn't bring myself to tell him that I was jealous and hurting.

"Just what Nessie?" he asked, his voice a velvet rumble that made goose bumps break out across my skin.

I exhaled shakily and mumbled, "I was jealous"

God this was humiliating.

"Jealous of Leah, why?"

I rolled my eyes; did I really have to spell it out for him? Did he really not know how I felt about him?

"Because you're so close to her, I always thought it would always be just you and me against the world you know…I never considered you would need anyone else…I'm sorry Jake, that was selfish of me"

The hands on my back stilled "Ah Nessie, I don't need anyone else, only you"

"What about Leah? Jake, it's okay… I understand you're a guy and I shouldn't have expected you to stick with me all this time, I know you'll have … ne…needs and I understand…I won't get in your way, I promise nothing has to change" I stuttered, mortified to be discussing Jake's needs with him.

He laughed, his lips curving into a sexy grin, the corner of his eyes crinkling "Nessie, you don't understand anything…Leah and me… Leah and me are just friends, that's it"

Friends? Just Friends? My heart stopped inside me for a second and when it found its rhythm again I thought it would explode out of my chest with happiness. I couldn't help the grin of elation that spread across my face.

"Friends…she's not your girlfriend?" I asked hesitantly incase I had misunderstood what he was telling me.

"Christ no! We'd kill each other…can you imagine dating that, she's a pain in the ass," he laughed and I joined him, giggling like a little girl.

Relief gushed up inside me and found its outlet in my slightly hysterical chuckles. The sound of our combined laughter soothed the wounds in my heart and I wished that it could heal all Jake's wounds just as easily.

When we quieted I looked up at him, slightly puzzled as a thought occurred to me "So what was that conversation I overheard? What did you mean you had been lying to me?"

I felt his chest expand and release as he took in a deep breath, the hand at the base of my spine caressing the skin above my sweat pants.

"Jake, it's okay you know…whatever it is, whatever you've done…I'll forgive you…you're my best friend" I told him gently, lifting my hand to his face and showing him pictures of us over the years, laughing and smiling.

I showed him how much I loved being with him, how safe I felt, how much I had missed him this last few days, how relieved I was that he wasn't with Leah in that way.

When he looked at me my breath hitched in the back of my throat, his eyes were burning, molten and flecked with gold, pinning me in place in a way that his arms could never have.

"Is that all I am Ness?" his voice was deep and raspy.

I bit my lip nervously, heat scalding my cheeks, feeling as though I was on the precipice of something hugely important. I didn't dare to speak in case I broke the spell that seemed to surround us. Shaking my head I managed to breathe out a no, knowing that what happened next would be crucial to my future happiness.

"I'm not with Leah, Ness because she would really kill me, she's tough and will always have my back but I don't see her that way…because there's someone else…there's always been someone else"

Hope flared and died inside me, if there had always been someone else, it couldn't have been me. It was her, he'd mentioned her just before he disappeared. I hated her, this nameless faceless stranger who held his heart.

"Who?" I croaked, call me a masochist but I wanted to know who my competition was.

I wanted to know if she was good enough for my Jake, I suspected no one would be but I had to at least try, for his sake. I wanted him to be happy even if it killed me. I loved him that much.

One of his hands came up to cup my chin, his fingers threading into my hair, pulling me closer to him

" Ness…Oh Ness…It's you… it's always been you," he whispered.

My stomach clenched, my heart dropped and I held my breath. Had I heard right? Did Jake really just tell me he felt the same way about me?

"M- me?" I croaked and became aware that he was trembling lightly beneath me.

He nodded just once but it was enough, my heart expanded inside my chest.

His pupils dilated until his eyes became black, his nostrils flaring slightly as his lips parted. I could smell his scent all around me, salty and rich, woodsy and musky, it drove the need inside me to spiral tighter mingling with the scent of his blood, making me light headed.

The hand on my cheek tugged me closer and then I felt it, the barest brush of his lips against mine, once then twice, hesitantly as though he were afraid of hurting me.

Shuddering against him, I opened my mouth, wanting, needing a deeper caress, needing the thrust of his tongue, needing the mouth-watering taste of him inside me. His mouth took over, taking charge, dominating the kiss, passion flaring to life between us as he kissed me, hotly, wetly, deeply, He was branding me, I realized as his tongue swept through my mouth, searching out the moist dark recesses of my mouth. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I let me fingers tangle into his hair to hold him tightly against me.

My heart and body sang as he kissed me urgently, this was no gentle seeking. This was a dominating kiss, he was staking his claim.

"You taste so good Nessie," he growled against my lips and I trembled, a little moan coming from my lips.

It was a breathy sound and evidently Jake liked it as he hauled me even closer still, not caring about his wounds as he feasted on my lips.

My hands lowered from where they played in his hair and slid across the heat and hardness of his chest, feeling his chest vibrate under my palms with the rapid pounding of his heartbeat. I felt Jake's hand tremble as it curved around my cheek and knowing he needed this as much as me made my breath hitch, making it even harder for me to breathe.

When my demand for oxygen could no longer be denied, Jake seemed to sense it and pull his mouth away from mine, breathing harshly. I rested my head against the furious pounding of his heart, listening to the steady rhythm as I fought to get some sense of control back.

"Are you okay? I didn't hurt you did I?" I fretted, as soon as I was able to form a coherent sentence.

His chest rumbled beneath my cheek as he chuckled "Only you would ask me that again Ness…I'm great…I'm better than great…I'm amazing"

""Is it really me?" I breathed, a little afraid to ask in case I had dreamed the last few minutes.

"It's always been you Nessie…I've waited so long for you honey…there were times when I thought it would kill me or at least Edward would"

I smiled and pressed another kiss, loving the taste of his skin on my lips "I would never let daddy hurt you"

"Somehow I don't think you could have stopped him," he said ruefully, his fingers tracing over my cheekbones.

"I would have found a way…I thought you didn't want me" I confessed in a hushed tone "You kept pushing me away…you told me you didn't see me like that"

He dropped a kiss to the top of my head "Ah Nessie, I lied…I had to do that…I could have been dangerous to you, I couldn't bring that danger down on you…so I fought my feelings… I was trying to protect you, trying to stop you from getting hurt"

"You hurt me…when I thought you didn't want me, you hurt me so bad… I wanted to die" I confessed shakily.

He squeezed me close "I know honey and I'm so, so sorry but there was nothing else I could do… I was hurting myself to hurt you but it was too dangerous"

"So what's changed? Why now…I'm not complaining" I admitted shyly "But we're in more danger now than ever"

I felt him sigh, his huge chest moving beneath me as he breathed deeply in then exhaled slowly, "Because we don't know how much time we have...I couldn't wait anymore…we don't know what it going to happen with those bloodsuckers and I want whatever time I can get with you…if it all ends tomorrow than at least I got to hold you, kiss you"

Sliding my hands slowly from his chest over the broad power of his shoulders, to the corded muscles of his neck and up to his cheeks I thrilled in the touch of his skin beneath my fingers.

Staring at him through my lashes I saw his eyes close as the extent of my words and emotions hit him in one go. Our lips met and opened against each other, my tongue finding his and following in into his mouth. I was intoxicated with the taste of my Jake, lightheaded with the feelings sweeping through me, my hands clutching him to me incase he tried to escape.

I felt rather than heard his sharp intake of breath and his hands covered mine gently moving them away from the angry looking slash across his body. Instantly I pulled away from him, feeling pained that I had somehow hurt him.

"I'm sorry" I panted, my eyes focused on his lips, slightly damp and swollen. He had such a beautiful mouth.

"S'okay Ness, you didn't hurt me really, it's just a little…tight" he murmured with a sardonic smile.

Unable to help myself I reached out to let my finger ghost across his lips, where the skin was still raw and tender looking. I sucked in a startled breath of my own as he drew it into the moist heat of his mouth and tugged gently on it. Instantly I felt a corresponding clenching of all my internal muscles and I pressed my legs together tightly to take it away. Jake watched me as he nibbled on the end of my finger, his eyes growing heavy and slight drowsy looking, a faint golden ring surrounding his irises. My body responded to that look, everything inside me tightened, filling me with the sweetest ache I had ever known but I didn't know what to do to take it away. Jake's eyes were on mine and I knew he was watching me, gauging my reaction to his touch. I slipped my finger from between his lips and raised them to my own, my tongue darting out to capture the essence of Jake.

He sucked in a sharp breath and let out a low groan, his eyes taking on a predatory look. Never before had he looked more like the wolf he morphed into when he shifted.

"Nessie…we should talk, there is so much you need to know, so many things I should tell you" he muttered, his voice gravelly and grave.

I nodded my eyes still on his lips as I leant closer to him fighting the urge to kiss him again "like what?"

I wasn't really paying him close attention, I was too busy trying to come up with ways to get him to kiss me, ways to get him to touch me, ways to get him to slide his hand where I needed it.

He seemed to war with himself, his emotions flitting across his face, from sadness to happiness and back again before he shook his head.

"It can wait... for now I just want to be with you"