I wake up already pissed.

The sun beckons me again, wanting me to go outside and drink some coffee.

"Fuck off, sun." I say out loud.

After I make Clem breakfast, I just go back to my room and lie down.

It's Saturday, right? You're supposed to be happy. You're supposed to be having fun.

Not me.

For Sayori's sake, I decided to take one pill a day again.

My bottle's already half gone and looking hot on the nightstand.

I throw the bottle in the closet. I'm too lazy on a normal basis to grab it, so it'll deter me.

I shut the door and look it.

Clementine doesn't need to see me like this. Now, dear reader, don't feel bad for me, but I truly have it hard. I have to take care of my sister on a Subway payroll. My girlfriend is about to leave me. I have a mental disorder.

I blow small things way out of proportion. I have to be perfect. I want to die.

Now do you understand why I turned to surf wax?

I just lie there and cry for a bit. I couldn't do anything else. I was too sad to play video games.

Sayori texted that she wanted to hang out, but I was too sad to answer.

I wanted to get up again, but I was shaking very hard from withdrawal.

I heard the Literature Club is gonna meet up at a coffee shop today or whatever.

I'm not gonna go.

It's hard to just put on a show of "I'm happy" when I'm not. So I don't try to. I care too much for others and what they think. It got me popularity, sort of, but not any happiness. I only ever got credibility for drawing a picture of what I want to do to myself every fucking day.

My tummy's very rumbly right now, churning, saying, "Feed me, retard!"

I don't. I push it down. Even farther down. Even farther down.

I cry some more. Then I grab a piece of rope I saved for a rainy day and set it on the pull-up bar smack dab in the middle of the room.

Now I'm pretty short at 5' 5" and 18 years old.

My ceiling is about 4 feet taller than me.

I grab a chair, once the rope is done. I put my neck through the rope. Literally, one second before I drop, I hear a knock on my window.

You see, my bedroom is upstairs, so I take off the necklace of rope around me and answer the window.

"I don't wanna talk, Sayori." I tell the unknown person.

"It's not Sayori," an obviously girl's voice calls back.

As I pull the curtain, she says, "It's Monika. Can I come inside?"

I open it and let her inside. She plops down on the bed.

"What happened?" she asks as I frantically hide the noose.

"Nothi—" I start.

"You tried to kill yourself, didn't you?" she interrupts.

"How did you know that?"

"I... I don't know. Rivers, something is very wrong with either me or the world."

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"I can see you and what you're doing nearly every day. I know what you had for breakfast."

"Nothing." we both say in unison.

"How?"

"Something. I think... I think we're back..."

"No, no, no, no, no." I say as I pace around the room, "Not the videogame. Not Doki Doki Literature Club."

"I don't know why, I've always known you, what you looked like. Same with the others. I know them."

"But why?"

"Well, react how you will, but... but... I like you, Rivers. I wanna be with you. One side tells me not to, but the other side tells me to push, keep fishing..."

"That's my line! What the heck?"

"I know."

"Can I use your laptop?" she asks.

"Sure."

She grabs it and types a few things.

"Oh, shi—"