Rey's hair is secured off her face, a single ribbon tied at the top of her head, her hair falling down and slightly over one shoulder. My lip shakes at the sight of her exhausted and distraught expression: her green eyes are bloodshot and puffy, dark circles ringing them; they're glossy and they shine in the evening light. Her cheeks are stained with tears. She doesn't say hello, but I suppose greetings aren't in order because we never shared a said farewell.
"You!" She bellows and I recoil as if she struck my cheek with her hand, "I thought you were dead!" She shouts, throwing the tracker at my chest. She leans on her staff as if it is keeping her upright.
"I-" she shakes her head, her jaw clenched and her nostrils flare.
"I'm not done," she states furiously. "I am so mad at you, how dare you leave?" I open my mouth, "Don't answer that, you idiot. That hadn't moved for what, 36 hours?" she spits rhetorically and gestures to the black object, it's blinking red light bright in contrast to the pale carpet. "What was I supposed to think?" I close my eyes to heavily breathe out and when I open them I see the tears slip down her cheeks.
"I didn't want to be found. Rey, please don't cry…"
"Oh, I'm sorry." Her sarcasm is loud and clear in her quietly mumbled response. She sniffs and wipes the tears away; I'm surprised by the part of me that wished I'd done it for her.
My eyes trail from hers and down to her neck; deep purple and yellow bruises in the shape of fingers – my fingers - are deeply imprinted into her skin, they are much worse than when I saw her a few days ago. My hands start to shake and I take another step back, fearing what I am capable of.
"Are you going to let me in, or let me freeze?" She huffs and I become aware of the way she trembles, and notice the way her hands run up her arms trying to warm her bare skin, her shirt and vest not enough protection from the cold. I can't seem to form words, but my feet have already stepped aside to let her in before I can stop myself.
I watch her shoulders relax as the slightly warm room brings her some comfort. I'm in a strange state of shock and don't realise that I turn up the heating on the thermostat and am now rummaging through my bag to retrieve my jacket. When I turn around she is no longer in the room, her staff is on the ground near the bathroom; before I can call out her name I hear the faucet turn on and the patter of water hitting the basin. I stand in the centre of the room and wait for her to return.
"Why do you have this?" Her voice echoes before I see her emerge through the door. She holds out the purple wildflower, the stem dripping a few droplets of water onto the floor.
"Something beautiful to remember you by," I repeat what I told her the other night without realising and she seems sadly satisfied with my answer. She quickly puts the flower back and as she returns, she approaches me and I hold the jacket out between us, her hand grasps onto it. Her lip quivers as she looks at me, I watch the way her anger melts out of her and her expression morphs into one of tender surprise at my offer. I let go of the heavy fabric and put a large space between us, standing closer to the door. She slips her arms through the large sleeves and tugs it on; it hangs off her small frame, and comes down to the tops of her thighs. She sighs into it, and I watch her grab the collar and tug it up so it covers her nose, her eyes flutter and she snuggles into it.
"Why are you here?" I ask her, not knowing what to do with myself. Do I go and lay on the bed? Should I sit on the floor, maybe lean on the wall? There are too many options.
Rey's sigh is muffled under the fabric she presses against her face; however, it is so loud I think it echoes. She lets the fabric fall back around her body, revealing her bruises again, "I came to find you," she states evenly.
"Why did you do that, you know I can't be around you,"
"Kylo isn't here, Finn, you're safe," she sounds so sure of herself, she almost convinces me.
"Where is he?" I finally ask.
"Poe took him to Mustafar, so he won't be causing us any trouble," My mouth parts.
"He what?" I am in disbelief. Poe lied to me?
"Didn't he tell you?" She slips her hands into the pockets of my jacket.
"I don't know anything that has been happening,"
"I would have explained it to you if you hadn't run away," She huffs, "like you always do," she mumbles as she walks over to the bed, sitting on the edge of the mattress.
My back aches from standing and bending to wash all the windows so I walk over to the door and lean on the wall. I don't know how to respond to her, I just look down to on the floor.
"Why did you leave?" She mumbles, I close my eyes for a moment.
"I already explained it to you; you need to stay away from me…" My heart aches as I say the words to her, I don't want to, but she isn't safe around me.
She huffs.
"Finn, stop this," I hear the way her voice cracks, "The way you're acting hurts more than…" she trails off and I furrow my brow, my fingers twitching from the unpleasant memory.
"I don't want to hurt you," I mumble.
"I know you don't, you need to stop pushing me away so I can explain what happened." She is flustered. Impatiently letting her leg jig up and down; her heel tapping on the hard floor. I think she may snap at any moment.
"Okay," I sigh and slide down the wall, the entire span of the room between us.
"What do you remember?" She questions, her tone gentle and I sigh.
"I remember us…" My voice fades and I feel my cheeks heat with embarrassment. I look up to her and she stares back, willing me to elaborate, "In bed together," it almost doesn't seem enough for her. I focus and pick at the carpet that frays slightly where it meets the wall I lean against. My embarrassment passes and I fill with a heat only she can emit from me. "I remember the way your lips felt against mine and the way you looked like an angel when you were above me," She sighs with what I assume to be relief. I look up at her up at her and she is as close to the edge of the bed that she can manage before she would fall off.
"What else?" She clears her throat.
"We woke up and Kylo Ren came into the room – how did he get out?" My curiosity causes me to ask.
"General Organa went in to see him," She pauses, and I remain expressionless "In the room with him," My mouth forms a little 'o' and I assume that was the reaction she was waiting for. "However, she didn't close the doors properly or turn on the alarms, at least she wasn't in the right state of mind to do so," I nod, disappointed in the General for not being more thorough and making sure everything was secure.
"Why did he come to the room we were in?" I ask.
"We'll get to that, now keep telling me what you recall," she demands kindly, and I nod.
"The next thing I remember is that I had my hands around his throat-"
"Do you know why?" she questions.
"No…" I honestly have no idea.
"Because you thought you were protecting me," She mumbles quietly, yet I am still unable to recall what happened. She must notice the way I crease my brow in concentration because she continues, "You thought he was going to," She pauses, Searching for the appropriate words, and I feel my stomach churn in distress. "Have his way with me-" Instantaneously my eyes stare directly into hers.
"He what?" I shout, cutting her off with such intensity that I think I see her flinch with surprise.
"Finn, you don't understand, you have to let me finish before you interrupt like that," her response is quiet and I almost don't hear her over the roar of blood that has rushed to my head. I look back down, biting onto my lip and trying to control my erratic breathing. "He wasn't going to do anything to me,"
"How do you know that?" I interrupt again and she lets out an exasperated sigh, "Sorry," I mutter and she continues.
"Kylo knew you would react the way you did. Valiantly risk your life to stop him from touching me." I stay silent, focusing on my hands in my lap. I am unsure if I believe what I am hearing due to having no recollection of it. The thought of his hands anywhere on her body makes my blood boil and causes a sickness to rise inside me.
"How did he know I would react that way?"
"He knew because when it comes down to it we are always together when he is a threat. Kylo knows that we are each other's weakness." Guilt sets in, if I hadn't been so predictable none of this would have happened.
"The General told me Kylo never wanted me to kill you, is that true?" I ask and Rey closes her eyes, nodding. "That doesn't make any sense…"
"Think about it, Kylo knew just how to make you feel unrestrainable and overemotional; he used me to make you reckless. Then he was able to manipulate you; take control. He wanted me to overpower you…" She rubs her nose and sniffs slightly and I let her words sink in.