"There's no one in this world who I could love as much as I love you… Shouta…"
"You wanna make me cry, moron?"
"No. Just smile and laugh as you always do."
Yukina pulled away, dragging Kisa back from the memories to the real world. These words rang in Kisa's mind. He couldn't believe that a kiss from his student could bring so many things back.
He didn't freak out, didn't scold the brunette… just let him walk out the music room's door.
It was December. It was snowing heavily when Kisa looked out through the window. A couple of months passed, and the man finally managed to calm himself down after what happened between him and Yukina. Back then, for a moment he thought Yoshida was the one standing in front of him and kissing him, but it wasn't him. How could it be him? He hadn't seen him in years, but he was pretty sure he would recognise him anytime and anywhere.
Yukina and Yoshida…
As Kisa stood at the window, watching the huge snowflakes falling down, he compared the two of them. The only difference he found was their age; Yoshida was the same age as him, and Yukina was younger, but everything seemed to be similar about them, if not the same. And maybe Yoshida's hair was a little darker brown.
Kisa sighed deeply as he wandered back into his room, sitting down on the edge of his bed. After that kiss, he tried his best to avoid Yukina, and the brunette seemed to keep distance as well.
Even the taste of their lips is the same…
Hey, stop that! He shook his head. You just got through it. Just forget it! Forget about both of them.
Kisa lied down on the bed, eyes closed as he tried to think about something else than the two men. But the harder he tried to forget, the more he wanted to know the reason Yukina kissed him that day. It was so unexpected that he almost fainted. There was a time when he just didn't want to understand it at all, but… it was impossible. He definitely wanted to understand Yukina's reason.
The man covered his face with his palms, still lying on his back on the bed. After a few months, he was still so confused it nearly drove him crazy. Taking a deep breath, Kisa decided to turn off the lights and get some sleep.
Covered under the blanket, he once more told himself to stop thinking about Yoshida and Yukina. He had to stop himself almost every night. Even though he wasn't as nervous as he was a month ago, he still couldn't get rid of his thoughts.
Kisa sighed as he rolled in the bed and closed his eyes.
I wish this pain in my chest wasn't there…
The students started to wander out when the class ended, and Kisa himself started to pick up his things and was about to head back to his office, when he glanced at Yukina, who was standing in the door, straight looking at him. Kisa stopped and looked away. Why so sudden?
"Yukina-kun, what are you doing here? You should go to your next class!"
The brunette just slowly took a few steps closer, still looking at Kisa which the black-haired man found very embarrassing.
"I just wanted to say that… I'm sorry for what I did…" he mumbled, covering his mouth.
"Oh…" Kisa nodded, biting his bottom lip. "Well… that happened, and we can't help it. I forgive you."
"Thank you, professor. I don't really know what else to say…" the boy laughed nervously. "I even surprised myself."
"Yeah…" Kisa forced a smiled as he looked at the brunette. "Well… Is that all you wanted to say?"
Yukina nodded, "For now…"
Before Kisa could say anything, he left the classroom, leaving the professor behind. The black-haired man just frowned, then drew a deep breath.
What did he mean by 'for now'? Does he want to tell more or…?
Kisa headed back to his office, and putting his stuff down he sat down, looking at bright blue, winter sky.
What the hell is up with him?
He sighed as he rubbed his temples. Watching the students in the campus, he saw a few very lovey-dovey couples walking and chatting lively. He watched them for a while, when a thought crossed his mind.
Is it possible that… he kissed me because he's in love with me?
No! No way in hell! Kisa shook his head. That was just an accident. That's right! He apologised for that kiss, and whatever is up with him after that accident is not my problem. He will tell it if he wants, but until then everything should be back to normal! I should get myself together, too…
Kisa groaned as his own thoughts annoyed him. He even caused himself a headache with it.
Why do I have to overthink everything? I could simply just ignore everything about Yukina, so he wouldn't remind me of Yoshida. But lately it seems to be impossible…
He picked the necessary things, then went to the next class. At least teaching made him think of something else than his confused love life.
"Hey, Shouta!" Yoshida turned around to face him. They were in the garden, and the guy was showing him those beautiful flowers.
"Y-Yes?" Kisa blinked at him.
"If one day I said I want to move in a house with a garden as big as this is with you, what would you say?"
Kisa felt that his face heated up, mouth fell open. He hadn't expected this question. He licked his lips as he started to think about it. Then he looked straight into Yoshida's chocolate brown eyes.
"I would definitely say yes. It would be wonderful to live in a place like this with you!"
Yoshida threw a huge smile, then laughed happily. Kisa laughed with him. Then Yoshida took a step closer, wrapping his arms around Kisa's waist.
"I'm really happy to hear that. Say, how can you make me happier with every second you spend with me?" he whispered.
"I'm just doing my best," Kisa chuckled as he hugged the guy. "I would do anything to make you the happiest person in this world."
"I love you so much, Shouta."
"I love you, too, Yoshida."
Yoshida slowly leaned closer and kissed him deeply, passionately. Even though they were alone, Kisa could hear someone's voice in the distance. A voice that was calling his name.
"Kisa! Kisa, wake up!"
Kisa opened his eyes just to find himself in his office with the lights on, and to find Yokozawa standing in front of him, arm crossed.
"Wake up, will you? Don't fall asleep in the office."
Kisa groaned as he sat up. His back ached as hell after lying on the desk in that uncomfortable pose. He scratched the back of his head, then looked at Yokozawa's usual poker face.
"I'm sorry. I might be a little worn out."
"Then go home, and sleep there, not here," Yokozawa ordered.
"Anyway, what are you doing in my office, Professor Yokozawa?" Kisa asked, not even trying to hide the annoyance in his voice.
"I just came to pick some copy papers."
"Oh… Feel free to take them," Kisa sighed as he showed the man where the papers were. Yokozawa went to pick some, then left the office with a wave.
Kisa yawned, then with sleepy eyes, he packed his stuff. His heart was racing.
What was that dream…? Why did I have to dream with the past?
He was so worked up he almost collapsed. His head ached, stomach clenched. This dream mixed him up. He left the office as fast as he could.
Kisa knew this was very bad. Everything was caused by Yukina, but yet, he couldn't really blame him. He was already an adult, he should be able to handle things like this. But instead, there he was, getting confused and worked up on this.
He left the school, the cold December air blew into his face, making him shiver.
As soon as I get home, I have to think about what's next. This whole thing will drive me crazy for sure! And it all started when I heard Yukina playing on that damn piano. The only thing I can think about right now is quitting my job, and find another school.
After standing in the school's front door for a few minutes, he was about to finally go home, but someone grabbed his arm from behind. The grab was so tight that for a moment Kisa thought someone wanted to kidnap him.
As he turned around, he saw Yukina's face that was covered by his brown locks. He looked very serious, and it scared Kisa a little.
"Y-Yukina-kun…"
The brunette slowly let go of his arm, turning his gaze away. Kisa swallowed.
"There's one more thing I need to talk to you about," Yukina whispered.
The brunette put his hands into his pocket, gaze still turned away. He seemed to be really nervous, though Kisa didn't really see his face in the dark evening.
"What is it?" Kisa asked after a silent couple of moment. "If it's still about that kiss, then don't worry about it."
"No, it's not about that."
"Then what?" Kisa frowned.
Yukina lifted his head up, looking into Kisa's eyes.
"I think I'm in love with you, professor."
A\N:
I hope you liked this chapter. :3 Thank you for reviewing, following and favouriting. ^^ I will try my best to update as soon as I just can. :)