Sebastian is just falling apart! And it has only been a day! He needs to get his shit together! Am I right or am I right? Review and enjoy!
Ciel's POV
This is the real reason why I hate him. Not because he is perfect. Not because he is better than me. It is because he can forget me so quickly. He can just move on with life, leaving me behind, thinking not once about how I may feel when he is away, and then just come back as if he never left. Like nothing had changed. He expects things to just fall into place like in the past. It can't, and he doesn't understand.
Sebastian POV
Suddenly, breathing seems too much like a chore. It has become manual rather than automatic, and I can only get to the step of taking in air. The second part never comes. My brain is trying hard to come up with the command, but my thoughts are in a whirlwind. I can't focus.
I feel the impact of my knees meeting the floor. I feel it, but because I can't see it, I start thinking it didn't happen. That maybe it is all in my head, and maybe I am not even alive anymore. I curl into myself. Do I? I don't know, but what is the difference between kneeling and laying in a coffin? To me, with my most important senses gone, there is none.
Then, abruptly, I can see again. I can see my body shaking, the small room that I am in, and the man I love in front of me. His hands move to my face, and he comes closer, inspecting me. I try to make my eyes stay on his lips because he is saying one word. One word I need to figure out because I sense his urgency, but I can't. And then, he is no longer trying to communicate with me because he presses his lips onto mine. I don't get to experience the tender touch because I immediately pull away, and I take in what I need. A breath.
A slight burn comes from my gasping. It causes me to cough, which then leads Ciel to rub my back. It takes a while to get my breathing under control. During that time, he holds me, and I concentrate on the heat that comes from his body. How steady it is, and soon, I am calm, despite the small shivers that rack my body.
"I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay." I repeat for him, but mostly for me. I haven't had this bad of an attack since the accident. Then again, I made sure to never be in a room so poorly illuminated. Today is just riddled with surprises. Which brings me to him. He is on his phone. "Who are you calling?"
"Your dad. I don't care what you say. You are not fine." I don't argue with him. He is right. Instead, I look at a man who looks to be the coat attendee, standing next to the light switch. I give him an apologetic smile to ease him. I glance back to Ciel as he puts his phone in his pocket. "What happened?"
Before I can respond, something catches my eye. It's my dad, who is rushing towards me with a frown. He reaches us and grabs my upper arm to hoist me up. "Ciel, thanks for looking out for him. We are going to head home. I think Sebastian had one to many drinks." We start heading for the exit when my dad stops. I read his lips as he speaks. "He did tonight." And then we are out of the building and heading to his car.
I sit myself in the backseat behind the driver's side, and I look in the mirror that my dad had adjusted so his lips are visible to me. "Are you alright?" I nod, but he remains unconvinced. "Why was he there? Does he…" He closes his mouth, and he jerks his head to the side. I don't understand, but then his eyes move to the right so I do the same. Ciel is in the car with us.
"I'm coming with you guys." He is firm, and I guess my dad consents as he begins driving. I shift my body, so Ciel is in sight, but he doesn't say anything more. However, he does notice my staring, and his typical response would be to glare at me or insult me. But what he actually does makes my hands clench on my thighs. His eyes soften, and he half-heartedly smiles. I turn away from him in self-anger.
This is one of the reasons why I refuse to tell Ciel about me. It is because of what he did just now. It is because of what he will do when he finds out. He will change. He doesn't even know, and already, he is looking at me with sympathy. With pity. And it is not pride that keeps me from telling him. I have given up on being prideful the day I became damaged. No, it is because he will treat me differently. Just like everyone else who knows, and I can take my family being that way. I can stand the few friends I have told acting that way to me. I can bear them, but I couldn't do the same with Ciel. I couldn't deal with him walking on egg shells around me, or him stopping his teasing and childish antics. His normalcy that I need will disappear. Just like it did with the others.
We arrive at the townhouse, and I quickly get out. "Dad, can you take Ciel home? I don't feel like entertaining tonight." I walk away and head inside. I go straight to the main living room, knowing I would find my mom. When I spot her, I collapse on the coach and lean on her in complete exhaustion. She instantly puts her arm around me and starts soothing me by massaging my ear. A habit that she picked up during my recovery period.
I'm not ready to talk with her, though she wants to know what's wrong. I'm really not ready to talk with anyone, but I don't get that choice when in comes my father and Ciel. I sit up. "Why are you still here? I don'…I don't want you to be here."
"I don't care. I'm staying." My eyes widen, and I eye my dad, who mouths that Ciel demanded that he didn't want to leave. "Hello, Claire. I'm sorry for intruding." He goes from being insolent to charming in a snap.
I don't bother to look at my mother's reply. It will be kind just as she is. She won't kick him out. "I'm tired. I'm going to my room. Goodnight, everyone." Since he won't go, I will. I take the stairs two at a time, desperate for an escape from his gaze. Of course, it is not until I open my door and catch Ciel's reflection in the mirror that I realize he followed me. "You can't come inside." He ignores me and lets himself in. He looks around, and after a while, he jumps onto the bed.
I try to get him up, to at least go into a different room to sleep, but when I near him, his eyes are closed. He passed out, probably from his earlier drinks. I sigh, but I slide beside him and put the blanket over us. I reach out and with my fingertips, stroke his cheek. I do this till I feel my eyelids falling.
Ciel's POV
He can forget me so quickly. He can just move on with life, leaving me behind, thinking not once about how I may feel when he is away, and then just come back as if he never left.
But no matter how many times I am forgotten, left behind, and not thought of, I can't help being a fool. A fool that is in love with him.