Okay so first things first, sorry for the update fail, real life can be a pain That said the next chapter is also written, just needs editing, though will not promise an update day as will probably miss it ;). Thanks to everyone that has reviewed, they're like lots of lovely little Christmas presents just to make me smile. I hope you all enjoy and let me know what you think. Mwah xxxxx
Nessie. Nessie. Nessie. I could hear hoarse broken cries and didn't know until I had to stop to suck in air, that I made those tortured, inhuman noises. Gathering Nessie's still and bloodied body in my arms, I clutched her to me, growling as Edward reached to take her.
"Mine" it was my wolf speaking, my human side silenced by my suffering.
My hands felt hot and sticky and I could see Nessie's life spilling across them onto the dirty, dusty ground. Her heart sounded strange, faint, fluttering irregularly and I was painfully aware that each beat of her pulse pushed more of her life force outside her body, across her chest staining it scarlet. Around me all hell broke loose as my pack leapt at the only remaining leeches, tearing at body parts in a snarling mass of teeth and claw. The Volturi were no more, their threat suddenly insignificant when faced with the death of my imprint.
"Carlisle," Edward screamed, his shaking hands reaching for again, as Bella fell to her knees beside me, her body convulsing with silent sobs.
"Oh God, Renesmee, my baby girl," she choked out, her eyes wild with fear, her hands trembling as she stroked the pale wan face of the precious girl in my arms.
Edward tore the shirt from his body and thrust it into my hand where it covered the raw bloody wound on her rib cage.
I was losing her; I could feel our bond slipping away even as I rocked her against me, hot tears scalding my cheeks. Pressing my face into her hair, I breathed in her scent not wanting to face the truth. She was dying, my beautiful immortal, vivacious half vampire was dying right in front me and I couldn't do a thing to stop it.
"Why isn't she healing, what's happening to her?" I was sobbing, barely able to speak past the scream lodged in my throat.
"Jacob," I heard a soft yet still none the less urgent voice in my ear, "Jacob, you need to let go of her, I need to try and close the wound or she will bleed to death."
It was Carlisle, his gaze soft and compassionate yet filled with the same terror and panic I knew was written on my face. We all loved her. We couldn't lose her. I stared back at him, my vision blurred and hazy and shook my head.
"I don't know how to let her go, I can't. She's leaving me Carlisle, I can feel it."
"I can save her Jacob, but you need to hand her over, we are out of time here."
I wanted to desperately, but my arms were locked and nothing I did would release her from my instinct screamed at me to hold her close, keep her safe.
"I want to, but you'll have to take her, please take her. I don't think I can let go."
Quil and Embry moved behind me, placing a hand each on my shoulder.
"She's your imprint Jake, you can do whatever she needs and now she needs you to help her get better...let her go" Quil murmured, his hands locking down tight as Carlisle and Edward pulled her firmly but gently from the circle of my arms, taking my heart with them.
I roared, rearing back in agony, as in instant I found myself flat on my back with Emmett pinning me in place.
"Jacob, cool it my man...they haven't taken her far but they need to save her...you've got to calm down or Edward won't let you within a mile of her, you understand," his own voice was gruff with emotion.
His voice cracked as my heart did and I stopped my struggles, staring up the vampire and two wolves that held me down. Blinded by my tears and deafened by the roar of agony in my heart I lay there, trembling with a need to phase so bad that I could taste it.
"Talk to me Quil, talk to me please," I begged as I lay there in the dirt, the scent of her blood making my stomach roil and my insides scream.
"Doc Vamps trying to close her wound...She's still with us, I can hear her heartbeat."
"They're going to want to bring her home Jacob; they can do more for her there." Emmett said softly, his eyes finding mine and holding them for a long moment. I knew what he was asking and defeated I nodded.
Taking an imprint away was always hard on a wolf but in a life or death situation, a wolf was liable to get a little crazy and a fuck lot bitey. I sucked in a breath through my teeth, fighting for control, Nessie needed me, now more than ever and she deserved me to be there for her not some whacked out wolf, who couldn't control himself.
Edward appeared above me his face paler than I had ever seen it, and it terrified me.
"Jacob we're taking her back with us. Of course you're welcome to come with us but if you can't control yourself you'll only make things harder in the long run. Alice and Rosalie are going to stay here and take care of the clean up, Bella is bringing the car around now."
"Take her, run it'll be faster."
"I can't risk it; her wounds are not healing as they should."
I cursed loudly and unashamedly my entire body going rigid, my eyes filling again with scalding tears. Seconds later I was surprised to find a wave of calm lapping over me, my muscles relaxing, my mind clearing and I heard a husky southern drawl.
"You can let him up now Em."
I sat up slowly as Jasper threw a pair of shorts in my direction and I got to my feet before tugging them on, crossing to Nessie's side.
She was still, so very still. Her skin looked grey and felt cooler than usual where I reached for her hand. The wound that ran down the side of her neck was still oozing fresh blood, the skin ragged and torn. Her clothes were saturated, her body painted scarlet, her heart beat slowly, different from its usual merry tempo. There was a rapid honking and Edward looked at me.
"It's time. We need to move her now."
Though I wanted to scoop her close, I knew it was better for all concerned for her to be nearer Carlisle and Edward, so that if anything...if anything went...wrong, then they would be best placed to help her. Between them they supported her lifeless body and quickly we moved as one towards the waiting car.
The journey back to Forks seemed to take a lot longer than 12 miles should even with Bella driving at break neck speed. Tension rolled through me, growing worse with each passing mile. Bella barely managed to watch the road, her eyes instead seeking out Edwards for reassurance I knew he wasn't able to give her. Nessie was half vampire and we had always thought indestructible, but then even full vampires stood no chance against wolf claws. Though we had never tested it, we all assumed that she would have the chance to heal herself and regenerate the same way vampires could. But now it appeared we were so, so wrong and in our fear and arrogance we had never learnt what would happen if she wasn't indestructible. Now we were finding out the hard way, far too late.
Bella screeched to a halt in front of the house, my body jarring forward slightly. Within moments we were all out of the car and moving inside, heading for Carlisle's office. Still the blood leaked from her, even as they placed her on the bed and Carlisle tore away the reminder of her shirt. It was a sight I prayed I would never have to see again, her blood standing out against the innocent white material of her bra. My stomach rolled again and I wondered if I was actually going to throw up.
"Her wounds aren't closing Carlisle. We're going to lose her."
Edward breathed the words we all feared.
I shook my head and crossed my arms over my chest, unwilling to even consider that option.
"She's half vampire, she should be fucking healing by now, why isn't she, if you can all do it, what's stopping her?" I growled, beginning to pace the floor, my eyes fixed on her still form.
Carlisle was still for a long moment, so much so that I thought he had not heard my words.
"I don't know Jacob, we can't stop the bleeding unless we close the wound and we can't close the wound in the same way we would for humans, her skin is impenetrable to human instruments. Edward I need you to set up a transfusion for her, we need to replace what she has lost for her human side,"
Edward moved around me in a blur, before he let out one of the only curses I had heard him use in a long time.
"I can't set up the IV...her skin..."
He looked frantic and panicked and that was when I began to really get scared.
"There are only two things that can get through her skin, wolf claws or vampire teeth" Bella said softly.
Carlisle shook his head "That won't work, the venom in our saliva would close the wound, we couldn't get a line in anyway."
Shit. That meant I would have to do it, could I harm her, bite her, even to save her?
"Maybe you won't have to," Edward said the flicker of a smile appearing over his lips.
"What do you mean?"
"Her wounds are not closing because she is not venomous, her body is in some ways more like a humans than a vampires. Venom heals even as it destroys; if we can coat her wounds in venom then it should close her wounds and stop her bleeding."
There was stunned silence all around the room for a few seconds before Bella exchanged a shaky smile with Edward and brushed a gentle yet shaking hand through Nessie's hair. The venom would heal her vampire side because she didn't have any of her own because she was half human. Human. Humans who ingested Venom did not stay humans they-
"She'll change won't she?" I croaked past the lump building in my throat.
Edward couldn't meet my eyes "It's a possibility, she could become a full vampire, a newborn."
My heart thudded and I was sure I felt it stop as an image of Nessie as a newborn vampire, complete with red eyes and blood lust filled my head. Her gentleness was gone, replaced by frantic, burning hunger and severe blood lust. Oh God. She wouldn't be herself for years, Bella had been an exception to the newborn rule and even she had struggled at times. I crossed the room and stood in front of the bed, a growl emerging, warning them to stay away from my imprint.
"But at least she'll be alive Jacob!"
"Alive? At what cost Edward, Christ, tell me you haven't forgotten the burning...you would put her through that?"
"I will do what it takes to keep my daughter alive." He growled, his face none the less stricken for his words. I knew now how Edward felt when faced with the prospect of changing Bella.
I looked at Bella but she couldn't meet my eyes, "She's our daughter Jacob, we won't be without her...I'm sorry."
"You can't put her through that Bella, it's not fair, she should get a choice, she should get the same choice you did."
"I won't let her die Jacob, I fought for her then and I will do it now...so move aside or get out!" she hissed the last few words at me, all vampire, no gentle Bella.
Nessie was mine to protect. I growled back just as angrily and felt my body beginning to tremble with the sign of an impending phase.
"Jacob, we don't know it will come to that...the venom may just heal her wounds and that's it. But if we do nothing she will certainly die...we will lose her, can you live with that?"
Carlisle asked softly yet no less urgently, attempting to diffuse the tension that lay thick in the air around us. It went against everything in me to allow a human to become a vampire. And when that human was Nessie, I didn't want to be responsible for signing her death warrant and putting her through all that pain. She was my imprint and my instinct was still to protect her even if it could help her in the long run. But if I didn't, then she would be gone, lost to me forever. That was not an option. The second the thought passed through my mind, Edward moved beside her, his mouth lowering to her wounds even as Bella echoed his movements. Suddenly I felt as though I was back in time, watching the same scene unfold only this time it was Bella still and prone on the bed. The thought terrified me knowing how close we had come to losing Bella, if the same happened to Nessie...If she, if she ...died then I knew I wouldn't be far behind her
In seconds it was over, Bella and Edward were at her side and we all watched nervously as in increments the wounds on her body began to knit closed, the blood loss slowing, leaving only angry red scars that stood out in vivid contrast against the paleness of her skin. I felt breath leave my body in a long hiss, unaware that I had been holding it even as my lungs burned at the smell of the venom.
"So what happens now?"
Carlisle shrugged looking fraught the smooth lines of his handsome face marred with worry.
"All we can do is wait and see. If the venom is going to change her we should know pretty quickly."
Bella pulled the sheets across her body and perched on the side of the bed, brushing her hair away from her face.
"There's so much blood,she's lost too much," she murmured "Oh Edward what if-"
"Don't!" I barked out, taking up position across from her. "Don't even think it...we won't lose her."
My eyes fixed on her body taking in every minute detail, watching, waiting for a sign that she was changing, becoming a full vampire. Her heart fluttered in her chest, still sounding faint and unsteady. Surreptitiously I inhaled her scent, knowing it would indicate her status as a hybrid or as a vampire. The first lungful was fine but as my nostrils flared again and Nessie began to twitch, her scent became cloying, so sickly sweet to my stomach, almost as though I had eaten too much candy at Christmas. It was venom. My entire body tensed and my eyes flew to Carlisle's.
Bella and Edward stilled instantly and tension swelled in the room. Knives twisted in my gut as Nessie began to whimper, her legs see sawing under the covers. Helpless I watched as her body started to convulse, feeling like I was going to throw up.
"Carlisle! Help her, do something!" I ground out my hands reaching for her instinctively, desperate to stop the frantic movement of her body.
"Jacob let her go, if you try and stop the convulsions, your strength could inadvertently break her bones" Carlisle murmured crouching over her, his eyes missing nothing.
Bella huddled against Edward's side, turning her face to his chest, both their faces taut with worry.
"What can we do for her, how can we help her?"
Edward shook his head helplessly and shared a tormented look with Bella.
"There's nothing we can do, we just have to wait"
"That's bullshit," standing by idly while my Nessie burned was not an option "What about the morphine you gave Bella? She wasn't like this. I remember she was still, quiet."
"Morphine doesn't work Jacob, it just paralyses you...you can still feel everything but cannot move, in some ways I think that would make it worse for her."
"How can this possibly be worse for her? Look at her, look at what you did!" I snarled my grief and torment needing an outlet and turning to anger. Raking my hands through my hair I turned on Edward, feeling myself begin to shake, ready to phase in an instant.
"At least she's still with us, we're her parents Jacob, did you really expect us to just let her die." Bella hissed at me, her eyes flashing scarlet for a second.
"Jacob, Bella, this isn't helping her. Jacob we did this to save her life, I know how hard it is to watch but you have to believe it's for the best. Bella came though it fine and Nessie will too."
I rolled my eyes at Carlisle and fought the urge to take a bite out of him "Bella was an exception and you know it. Remember those newborns with Victoria? Remember what she'll have to go through, the blood lust, the anger, the urge to kill anyone around her. How could you want that for her?"
"We don't know that's what will happen; she is Bella's daughter after all. Nobody can say if she'll change, she's already a hybrid. Listen to her heart, it's gotten faster, stronger, she's already healing Jacob."
I couldn't deny that but then I couldn't deny the fact she was writhing and convulsing on the bed. Having never seen a vampire's transformation except for Bella's I didn't know if this was normal.
"Every change is different Jacob; each human's body handles it in a different way." Edward was in my head.
"She's not human Edward, that's the point! No one knows what the fuck will happen, she's a hybrid!"
"That will work in her favor." I think he was trying to convince himself as much as the rest of us.
I shook my head, fighting the urge to lash out at the casual way they discussed the possibility of Nessie becoming a full vampire as she lay burning in agony, as if they didn't care about what she was going through.
"Don't ever make the mistake and think that we don't care, she's our daughter Jacob and you would do well to remember that, she may be your imprint but until you have children of your own you cannot possibly understand the depth of our love for her." Edward snarled turning on me, his face a mask of agony and I was pleased. Inside I thrilled to see his pain, it served him right for inflicting this on her, for making us all suffer through this.
I glared at him, mute with fury and then turned back to Nessie, focusing on any minute changes that had occurred. Her wounds were knitting, leaving angry red skin in their wake, her body still twitching furiously as the venom rushed through her system.
"All we can do now is wait," Carlisle placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder as I lowered myself to the edge of the bed. Angrily I shrugged him off and tried to reach for Nessie's hand that jolted and twitched furiously.
"I'm here baby, it's going to be ok," I murmured, feeling lost and helpless.
For seven hours I sat beside Nessie as her body thrashed, and twisted until at last she began to still, only the odd spasm remaining. The sound of her heart kept me going, as though it beat only for me, and whilst I could hear it I knew there was no chance she had changed into a full vampire. Edward and Bella remained beside me the entire time, talking in muted whispers, drawing strength from each other.
The other Cullen's appeared one by one, each sporting their own injuries, each more concerned about Nessie than themselves. It was hard on every one of them, but especially Blondie. She had never wanted the vampire life for herself and so unexpected as it was, she was my ally. To her Nessie was perfect, the most amazing mix of human and vampire. Blondie believed that one day Nessie would have children of her own and even if they were mine, becoming a full vampire would rob her of that. So like me, they sat and watched and waited and prayed, all murmuring reassurances to her, telling her how much they loved her and that they would all be there for her when she was ready to wake up.
Hours passed and though her convulsions ceased, she remained unconscious, even Edward unable to get a read on her thoughts. Fear gripped me with icy cold fingers, I couldn't, wouldn't lose rate changed to match hers, each beat marking the passage of time she could slip away from me. But at least while her heart still beat there was hope.