Hi there everyone :) I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and New Year, I know I did. Sorry for the delay in posting, I got a Kindle Fire from Santa and that has been permanently welded to my hand recently. So I staged my own intervention, hid my kindle and decided to post. I hope you like and please as ever let me know your thoughts. Love Tink xxx.

At first the darkness welcomed me, soothed me, comforted me, and allowed me to slide away slowly, as I felt my body begin to cool, my heart beat slowing. I felt as though I were floating and nothing mattered anymore, I was tired, so tired that I just wanted to sleep, to close my eyes and allow myself to be carried away. Lethargy claimed me and I relaxed into, unafraid of what was to come.

But then something changed, tiny flickers of pain trickled almost imperceptibly at first, down my neck and across my chest, my nerve endings sparking. I flinched as the trickle suddenly became a torrent and continued down my body. By the time it reached my legs I felt as though I were on fire, my body burning from the outside in and I kicked out, legs flailing uselessly, desperate to be rid of whatever was touching my skin and causing it to burn this way.

With each beat of my heart the pain increased and suddenly my body was convulsing, fighting against the searing agony flaying my neurons. What was happening? Was I dying? Was this how it felt to leave the immortal life?

Everything in my body was screaming, every nerve, every synapse, every cell inside and out consumed with white hot pain. My limbs twitched and went into spasm, hoarse sounds tearing from my throat as I gave voice to the agony which seemed to be increasing every second.

I had never really considered dying or the sacrifice my mother had made for me to be here but now as I lay writhing on my pyre I realized what it must have taken for my mother to have made this choice. Knowing she would feel this way but choosing to do it anyway, I had a new understanding of the depth of my mom's love for daddy.

As the fire inside me reached new highs I wanted to die, prayed to whatever god there was just to kill me rather than endure another second of this agony but then I felt it, a soft touch against the fireball on palm.

"I'm here baby; it's going to be okay" a voice in my ear.

I knew that voice, it was one that comforted me, loved me, protected me, fought for me, fought for us and I couldn't give up on that voice, it wouldn't give up on me. It was Jacob, my Jacob. I didn't want to die, I wanted to live and love and be loved. I could do this. My mom did it for my dad and I could do this for Jacob. Time seemed to pass at a snail's pace, each second feeling like an eternity, an eternity I hoped I would still see. Gradually my body cooled, the fire racing towards my heart, leaving a welcoming cool balm in it's wake. Eventually my body became still, my muscles no longer jumping and twitching uncontrollably and I was overcome with a tiredness so strong that not even my desire to see Jacob could stop me from succumbing to the blackness.

Jacob

I stared down at Nessie's form, taking in the angry red welts still marring her pale skin. Her heart had settled to its usual rhythm and though she smelt a little sweeter, her scent was nearly back to normal. All she had to do now was wake up, I knew she wouldn't be okay until she opened those beautiful brown eyes and told me herself. Her body had still not healed the way it should, though her bleeding had stopped and the skin had knitted, angry scars were still plainly visible across her neck and torso.

"They will heal but because she doesn't have the same amount of venom as the rest of us, it will just take a little longer for her body to repair," Edward murmured from beside me, his eyes fixed on her neck.

"I don't care if they never heal, as long as she's alive, she's beautiful. I guess this means she didn't change fully?" I couldn't deny the hope in voice.

Edward shrugged "It's still too soon to tell but the fact she hasn't healed immediately would point to the fact she is still human."

Relief coursed through me and I squeezed the hand I still held , counting each beat of her pulse as another second to her coming back to me. My heart stuttered as I felt her pulse pick up and her hand flex within mine, as her eyes began to flutter.

Nessie

I breathed in deeply, the scent of Jacob reaching me first, closely followed by my mom and then daddy. They spoke in hushed voices, words I couldn't make out as I was still barely conscious but I felt Jacob squeeze me hand. Jacob! I tried to squeeze back but my muscles wouldn't obey, I felt weak and a little shaky.

"Nessie?"

"Renesmee?"

Voices in my ears, one deep and rumbling the other soft and melodious. Jacob. Mom. I took a deep breath and then winced as a sharp pain lanced across my chest, my hand flying up to touch but caught again by my mother's cool touch before I could connect with myself.

Blinking I struggled to open my eyes, needing to rub away the gritty sensation of sleep as one cool palm came into contact with my forehead, brushing away my hair.

"Renesmee? Baby are you awake?"

My eyes finally opened and I surveyed the trembling smiles of my mother and father, who looked impossibly tired and worn. The rest of my family were huddled together at the back of the room, their faces reflecting various stages of happiness and relief but their eyes worried. Slowly I turned my head, ignoring the painful pulling sensation across my skin of my neck and saw him; his eyes do dark, so troubled, so sad. The face I carried in my heart always smiled but he looked exhausted, lines of stress around his mouth, a small pulse ticking in his jaw. I didn't care. He looked beautiful to me because he was alive. My heart reacted before my mouth could and I felt it stutter, missing a beat before it settled back into its regular rhythm.

"Honey are you okay? Are you in pain?" My mom asked gently, her eyes shining with the heavy weight of tears she could not shed.

"Just a little stiff and sore, I'll live."

"Christ Nessie," Jake grated, his eyes screwing shut for a second "Please Nessie, don't even joke about that."

"I'm sorry." I felt bad instantly, guilt flooding me.

"Darling you have nothing to be sorry for," Daddy murmured and it was hard to miss the pointed glare he gave to Jacob.

"What happened, is it over?" I turned his attention away from Jacob and back to me, after everything Jacob had been through it was the least I could do.

"After everything he's been through? Renesmee, we almost lost you. You should be thinking about yourself, thinking about getting better not worrying about Jacob, he can take care of himself."

Jacob squeezed my hand gently, so gently I almost didn't feel it "Edward is right Ness, don't worry about me, concentrate on getting better."

"I feel fine," I protested, which wasn't a lie. Much. I wasn't in pain but my body ached and felt stiff, my head fuzzy and a bit muddled. My throat burned but I didn't think it was with thirst.

"Liar," Daddy said softly, making it sound like an endearment.

I sighed and looked towards to my family, who one by one had gathered around the bed "Is everyone okay? The pack?"

Rosalie wrinkled her nose but smiled gently "A few minor injuries, nothing Carlisle couldn't handle."

"Are you thirsty? You need something?" Emmett asked concerned.

"No, I'm just tired."

"No overwhelming urge for blood?" Jasper asked slowly, studying me closely.

I shook my head, wincing again as the skin twisted and pulled, confused as to why they were all looking at me warily, as though I had two heads or was going to attack one of them any second. It was as though I were a newborn all over again.

"What happened to me? Why are you all looking at me like that?"

"Nothing you need to worry about now sweetheart."

"What do I need to worry about? What happened, why would you say that?"

"Way to go Edward," Jacob muttered "Make her more distressed why dontchya?"

"Shut up mutt" Rosalie murmured and turned to Carlisle with an arched brow.

I watched as he exchanged looks with my father, who nodded solemnly and shifted down my bed making room for Grandpa.

He smiled at me "Mind if I give you a quick exam? See how your wounds are healing?"

I shook my head, trying not wince at the pain as his hands moved swiftly over me, his lips pursing thoughtfully before his face became blank again, giving away nothing.

"What happened to me Grandpa?"

"When Gianna tried to attack Jacob, you put yourself between them remember?"

I nodded, knowing I had probably saved his life.

"It was an idiotic thing to do," my father grumbled, his face pulled into a grimace.

"Ignore him please,"

"Gianna managed to partially phase her arm and she caught you with her claws, resulting in a several large lacerations across your torso and down your neck. She nicked your Carotid and your Celiac arteries, you lost a lot of blood. As you know your skin is impenetrable to human instruments, so we could not replace the blood with an infusion nor could we suture it in the normal way to prevent blood loss. So we did the only thing we knew could save you, we closed your wounds with venom," he finished gently his eyes on mine, taking everything in, missing nothing.

Venom. Venom. That was why I was in so much pain? Was I full vampire now?

"We don't know," my father spoke softly. "We assume you still have your human side because the venom stopped the bleeding and closed your skin but hasn't completely healed you yet. And we all know your heart still beats, all be it a bit irregularly. "He smiled glancing at Jacob.

I felt all the blood in my body rush to my face as I flushed and then felt a little dizzy as I attempted to shift on the bed.

"You okay?"

Jacob was there in an instant, his expression worried.

I smiled weakly at him, feeling weak and overwhelmed suddenly "I think I'm just tired."

Carlisle smiled "I will bring you something to drink, and then you should rest. You lost a lot of blood and will feel pretty miserable for a little while."

He pressed his lips against my forehead and in returned within a second holding a sealed cup. My nostrils flared as I caught the scent of animal blood and the burn in my throat intensified, sharply, suddenly. Ignoring the way my hands trembled I reached eagerly for it, unsurprised when Jacob was there first holding the straw to my lips supporting my weight with a gentle arm around my shoulders, lifting me slightly. The scent of his skin tickled my nose, the sound of his blood rushing through his veins made heat erupt inside me. Jacob had never smelled so good to me, both as a man and as food source. Jasper chuckled lightly and looked at me, I smiled sheepishly and reached for the cup.

I drank greedily, feeling my energy levels start to rise as the blood coursed through my system. After finishing my second beaker, it hit me just what had happened and despite the initial energy surge from the blood, I was exhausted.

I felt my eyes drooping before Jacob had even helped me settle back against the pillows.

"Rest sweetheart, we'll all be here when you wake up."

I knew no more until I awoke again, this time in my own bed, a soft cotton nightshirt wrapped around me. I felt refreshed, my head clear, though I was still shaky and sore. Turning my head slowly, testing my body, I greedily drank in the sight of Jacob sleeping peacefully in the chair beside my bed. He looked uncomfortable, his huge frame squeezed into a ball, a slight frown marring his handsome face as he snored softly.

I had been so afraid that I had lost him again; I made up my mind in that instant that nothing was going to keep us apart anymore. Tears pricked my eyes as the strength of my love for him washed over me, the imprint alive and pulsing gently in the pit of my stomach once again.

"Jacob," I whispered, though I may as well have yelled his name as he came instantly awake.

"Nessie" he rumbled, eyes bright his voice deep. Unable to tear my eyes away I watched him sitting up slowly and stretching his huge frame, arms spread wide above his head. My eyes followed the play of his muscles, noting the way his shirt pulled and bunched as he shifted, flashing the smooth tanned skin of his stomach. Inside me a million birds seemed to swarm in my stomach as it flip flopped.

"Baby what were you thinking?" he grasped my hand in both of his and brought it to his lips, allowing me to feel the tickle of his words, the heat of his breath against my skin.

My heart constricted painfully at the memory, "She was going to kill you Jacob, I couldn't, I couldn't let that happen"

"Nessie, sweetheart, I am a wolf; it's my job to protect you."

I gazed into his eyes, seeing my reflection and his own pain so clearly.

"Does that mean that I can't protect you too? I saved your life Jacob" I asserted quietly, proud to have done so, knowing I would do it all again in a heartbeat if I had to.

"At what cost Nessie? Losing yours? You nearly died today, and we all nearly died with you a million times over. Promise me you will never do anything like this again. I would have died if I lost you," he gritted.

"I love you Jacob, and to lose you would have killed me too, it goes both ways...I couldn't live without you in my life."

"You'll never have to baby I'm here, I'm okay."

"Promise, promise me Jacob."

Jacob

I heard the fear and urgency behind her words and I remembered that she had almost lost me too. Going feral, going rogue and then attacking her. The last year had been filled with pain and uncertainty. She should be screaming at me to get away from her not trying to reassure herself I wouldn't leave her. How could I have done it? I had forgotten her again and I was almost certain one of the wounds on her body was caused by me, when my wolf attacked her. I felt sick, what kind of imprint was I?

Torn. I was torn, between the urge to punish myself for hurting her and reassuring her that I would never hurt her again. She needed me now, more than she had before and I didn't know if I could be that man. Guilt was a bitch. My heart was filled with the urge to hold her close and promise to never let her go again but my head argued that I had been the one to put her through this suffering. But just like Edward had once told me, he was too selfish to give Bella up, loved her too much to be without her and it would be that way for me too. Nessie was my life and without her I was nothing.

"I promise you, I'm yours...forever"

Our eyes clashed, hers filled with fear and tears and I hated myself for putting that look there.

"I've missed you so much Jacob" she breathed "Hold me, please; let me know this is real."

"I don't want to hurt you baby,"

"The only way you can hurt me is if you don't come here and kiss me. I need to know we made it, that we're alive, that were safe and that you're mine."

She didn't have to ask me twice, and as she scooted over I lowered myself onto the bed. I was beside her in an instant propping myself up on bent elbow, an arm under my head. We stared at each other for the longest moment, Nessie's eyes glittering with tears.

"I thought I lost you," I murmured "You scared me half to death; I don't want to ever feel that way again."

"I'm so sorry Jacob, but I couldn't lose you either"

"I'm here. And I don't plan on going anywhere."

I reached down and took her hand, bringing it to my chest, letting her feel the steady beat of my heart.

"Feel this? It beats only for you, you Nessie."

Nessie

I could feel the thud , thud of his heart against our joined hands and it reassured me, he was safe, I was safe and we were together. But despite our closeness, there was still something missing.

I missed him, missed his touch, his kisses, had almost lost the chance to kiss him ever again. Taking a deep breath I closed the distance between us and pressed my mouth to his, feeling the heat of his lips against mine. I sighed a little and allowed my tongue to dart out, needing the familiar taste to reassure me. He met me halfway, his mouth parted slightly as be sucked my bottom lip, between his, gently so gently that my tummy twisted, need blooming inside me.

My heart kicked in my chest and I felt his own speed up in response to my nearness, my fingers curling, nails biting into his skin through his shirt. Jacob groaned against my mouth and the kiss shifted, evolved into something hotter, wetter and greedier. Mouths opened wider, tongues teased and tangled and my hands slid away from his heart to tangle in his hair as he rolled above me, his weight balanced on his elbows, his chest pressing against mine. Unable to help my body's response to his nearness, my breasts swelled and my nipples pebbled, begging for his touch.

I tugged gently, feeling the softness of his hair in my fingers and felt him shudder above me as our tongues dueled, dancing in a blistering kiss. Squirming, I needed to be closer to him, my hips moving of their own accord against the powerful thigh between my legs. My night shirt had ridden up and I could feel the heat of his skin through the rough denim scraping against my leg.

"Christ Nessie, I love You, I fucking love you, please don't scare me like that ever again," he bite out, breathing harshly before his lips attacked mine again.

What began as an innocent kiss was quickly spiraling out of control and as much as I wanted him, as much as I needed to be with him my body was still healing. When I loved Jacob, when I got to take him into my body, when I finally got to feel him moving inside of me, I didn't want to do it thinking about my injuries. I didn't want him to be thinking about my injuries. I wanted him to be free to love me without fear or guilt and right now neither of us was in that place. But soon, very soon. Sensing my mood, Jacob's mouth gentled slowly, the frenzied kisses replaced by slow sensual ones that left me burning and achy.

His heart beat frantically against my own, I could feel it hammering as he tore his mouth away on a groan and sucked in a lungful of air, his forehead against mine, our noses brushing gently as we panted in unison. I felt his smile brush my lips and couldn't help but beam in return. As long as we were together I was happy.