TJ

"So you seem unusually calm right now." Cyrus smiled as we walked out of the classroom. "How do you think it went?"

"I have no idea." I answered honestly, looking down at the ground as we weaved around students crowding the halls.

"So… about last night?" Cyrus continued cautiously, his eyes now dropping to the ground as well.

"I, uh…" I hesitated, casting my eyes across the herd of people around us. "Listen, can we talk about that later? Maybe somewhere a bit more private?"

"Oh! Umm, sure, that works. We could go to the Spoon later?" Cyrus suggested, his eyes now meeting mine.

I smiled, not knowing why I expected Cyrus to suggest anything different when that diner is practically a home away from home for him and his friends. "Yeah, that sounds good, Underdog." I nodded, giving the younger boy a brief pat on the back and then fighting the urge to let my hand just rest there as I returned his gaze.

All I wanted was to talk to Cyrus about last night right now, but I wasn't ready to just let the whole world know about my dyscalculia. Deep down, I knew that it wasn't really my fault for having it, and it wasn't anyone else's fault either. But I also knew that the moment people found out, they would start treating me differently. I knew that everyone would start treating me like some fragile little creature; they would start handling me with kiddie gloves and I wasn't ready for that kind of patronizing, needless doctoring.

I've always been told by my dad that 'if you want something from this world, son, you better be ready to work your ass off to get it'. I've always tried to live up to that and the thought of people giving me special treatment, undeserved sympathy and participation trophies for something I can't help makes me feel sick to my stomach.

I knew that eventually, I would have to come clean about what I was going through, but for now I really wanted to just feel like a normal kid for a little while longer.

The bell rang, signalling the start of the last period of the day.

"Shoot, I'm gonna be late for basketball practice. See you later, Underdog!" I said before running off down the halls. The one thing I can say I've definitely earned for myself in this world is my position as captain of the team and I wasn't about to start missing practice for anything.

"Okay, nice job guys!" I called out to the rest of the team, high-fiving Daniel, one of the best players in the team, as he walked by me. "Take a break." I told everyone.

As the rest of the team scattered into various little groups, I turned my attention to the girl who had been leaning against the bleacher handrails for the last five minutes.

"Wow, actual, regular breaks? You have changed." Buffy commented dryly.

"Can I help you with something?" I asked bluntly, "Or are you just here to scope out your competition?" I added in an equally dry tone, taking a seat on the bleachers next to the railing. I may have made amends with Buffy before summer break but things were still a bit tense between us after everything that went down. As much as Cyrus had been hoping for us to start being friends, I had serious doubts that it would ever happen.

"Don't flatter yourselves." Buffy smirked, eliciting a short laugh from both of us. "I just came to check up on you."

I immediately narrowed my eyes in suspicion. "'Check up on me'? Why, exactly?" I asked, shaking my head slightly as I took a drink from my water bottle.

"Well, Cyrus… he kind of told me about your study session last night." Buffy admitted in a hushed tone.

I looked away in disbelief for a moment. "He told you?" I asked, my expression hardening slightly, my body tensing up.

"Don't… get mad at him." Buffy immediately interrupted me, her tone laced with concern. "I kept bugging him to tell me, he didn't want to at first. And I do already know about your, uh…" she looked from side to side and lowered her voice to a whisper, "…issue, remember?"

I relaxed slightly. The last thing I needed right now was to start questioning my trust in Cyrus. I let out a deep sigh. "There's nothing to tell really. We were studying for hours and I was just struggling to understand anything, and I just got stressed and freaked out a little bit."

"Cyrus told me that you left home." Buffy pressed me further, to which I looked at her in confusion.

"I never told Cyrus that I left home." I responded, which was true.

"Oh." Buffy recoiled in surprise. "Well did you?"

"I mean, yeah… yeah, I went to the park to cool off but I came back home after like twenty minutes." I admitted, looking off into the corner of the gym.

Buffy wore a quizzical look as soon as I mentioned the park. After a brief pause, she shrugged. "Well I guess he just figured it out."

The brief silence that followed gave both of us time to contemplate that. I never even told Cyrus that I left home, so he must have worked that out by himself. I cast my mind back to the last text he sent me last night.

Underdog: Ok. Worried about you, please give me a call back when you're home

'When you're home'. He must have known that I went to the park. To the swings. I didn't know why I was so surprised at that but the idea that he understood me well enough to know exactly where I went warmed my heart.

After about ten seconds, I shrugged it off. "Well whatever, I guess. I studied some more after I got home and I understood it a little better that time." I told her. I couldn't deal with the potential repercussions of Buffy reading anything into it.

I knew who I was; I knew what I was. I wasn't some oblivious moron who realized he had a crush on another guy and spent forever still reassuring himself that he was straight. I understood what it meant once I worked out that my first ever crush wasn't on any of the pretty girls at school, but on the little bundle of joy that is Cyrus Goodman.

But that didn't mean I was ready to let anyone else know. I have a gay cousin, and I knew from her exactly how tough this world could be for people like us. She made the mistake of coming out early and she spent her teenage years being bullied, ostracized; being made to feel different for nothing except daring to be honest about who she was.

Just like with my dyscalculia, one day I knew that I would have to tell the people I care about and deal with the consequences, but I wasn't mentally prepared for that yet. Not even close.

"Okay, well that's good." Buffy smiled, seeming to take my words at face value. "So do you think the test went well?"

"I don't know. I hope so, but I don't know." I answered, my lips forming a thin smile. I cast my eye over to the clock on the wall. "Anyway, I've gotta practice. I'll see you around." I finished, giving Buffy a half-wave before turning and walking away to address the rest of the team.

As we began practicing again, I did my best to ignore the fact that Buffy continued staring attentively at me for the next five minutes.

After the final bell rang for the day, I packed up my things into my bag and headed to Cyrus' locker to find him waiting there, leaning against the wall in a way that an alien disguised as a human would think passed for 'cool'. I couldn't help but smile at his natural awkwardness. When he noticed me approaching, his eyes seemed to light up as he reaffirmed his unusual stance.

"What's up, Underdog?" I greeted him happily.

"Not much, Over… dog?" He tried to respond in a similar fashion before giving up completely.

I raised my eyebrows in amusement as Cyrus began to blush. "'Overdog'? That's the best you've got for me?" I teased as his face grew a deeper shade of red, "I think I actually prefer 'Scary Basketball Guy'."

Cyrus laughed in embarrassment, his eyes shifting to basically anywhere that wasn't me. "Well I need a better nickname for you! And it has to be 'dog' themed or they won't match." He smiled.

'They won't match'. I was trying my best not to read into that but my heart was already racing again.

"Here's a crazy idea, how about you call me… TJ?" I suggested in a fake tone of excitement, waving my hands in front of my face.

Cyrus tilted his head to one side and gave me an unamused look. "Okay, just hear me out for a second," He said excitedly as we began walking towards the exit, "How about 'Topdog'?"

"I'm already 'Topdog' around here, man." I joked.

"'Upperdog'?"

"That sounds like a disease."

"'Bigdog'?"

"That just sounds inappropriate!"

"'Hot…dog'?"

I couldn't help but notice that his voice broke slightly at the end of that one. Not knowing what came over me, I decided to push my luck as we walked out the front door of the school.

"Wow. Food-related and mildly flirty. That sounds perfect." I smirked, trying not to let on that my heart was beating at what felt like a million beats per minute.

Despite the rush of cool air that hit us as we walked outside, Cyrus' face went as red as a tomato. He sheepishly looked away as I snickered at him.

"So how was, uh…" his voice trailed off for a moment, before continuing, "How was basketball practice?"

Still feeling playful, I immediately responded "If I told you, would you understand any of it? Or should I expect you to fall asleep like you did last time you watched me play?"

Cyrus gasped sarcastically, raising a hand to his chest. "You wound me so! I'll have you know that I only slept for five minutes last time!"

"Oh, so it was that boring, huh?" I raised my eyebrows.

"No, of course not, I was definitely just falling asleep during Buffy's shots."

"That's so sweet." I responded with a deadpan look on my face.

"I try." He grinned mischievously.

I shook my head, letting out a small laugh. "Practice was fine."

Cyrus immediately started snoring loudly, which made me burst into laughter.

"Okay, that's it!" I laughed, starting to chase him down the street, which made him scream like a girl as he ran away laughing. I caught up with him quickly, wrapping my arms around him from behind and lifting him from the ground, spinning him around as we both giggled like idiots.

As I lowered Cyrus back to the ground, against my better judgement I let my arms linger around him. To my surprise, he didn't resist or try to pull away from me but instead actively leaned into me after a brief moment of hesitation. I could feel his body tense up and then almost melt into my arms. It felt like time had stopped in that moment; like there was no one else around, like nothing else mattered. The wind stopped blowing and the clouds stopped shifting. For a few fleeting seconds, it was just us in a perfect little bubble.

Reluctantly, I let go of the smaller boy and carried on walking, too nervous to examine the look on his face and too embarrassed to let him see the blush forming on my own. After a second or two, Cyrus started walking briskly to catch up with me. As we turned a corner and saw the Spoon just down the street, Cyrus began walking side-by-side with me, his arms dangling awkwardly by his sides.

I eyed Cyrus' left hand, gently swaying with each step he took, threatening to collide with my right hand as it hung down beside me. I could almost feel some kind of magnetic force, trying to pull our hands together. This seemed to happen every time we walked next to each other. It felt like it had somehow turned into a bit of a game; a competition to see who will make the first move and grab the other's hand.

I always tried to keep my thoughts rational whenever this happened in the past. I always reminded myself that Cyrus was probably not even gay, let alone interested in me. But after what just happened between us, I didn't know what to think anymore. I felt excited, confused and terrified all at the same time. Today was the first time that I really felt a spark. The smallest flicker of light, the faintest hope that maybe, just maybe this could be something.

My heart raced and my palms began to sweat as these thoughts hit me with the weight of a speeding truck. My right hand twitched slightly as the metaphorical voices in my head were screaming at me to just reach out and hold his hand. In an attempt to test the waters, I swung my right hand forward with a bit more force. It bumped against Cyrus' hand and we both jumped as though a jolt of electricity had run through us.

I let out a small gasp and clenched my fists in an attempt to get them to stop shaking. This was all just too much, too soon. I wanted this and I was starting to let myself believe that Cyrus could want it too, but my brain was still lagging behind trying to process the last thirty seconds or so. I lifted my arms and folded them across my chest as we reached the entrance to the Spoon.

"Well, we're here." I spoke up in a futile attempt to distill the electric tension that hung in the air.

Cyrus took in a deep breath. "Yeah… we are."

I had a lot of fun writing this chapter! I hope you guys had just as much fun reading it. I feel like I'm starting to get into the swing of things now!

As always, any feedback would be appreciated!

Next chapter will be up in the next couple of days.