Cyrus

An awkward tension hung in the air, not one of us wanting to be the person to break the silence. My eyes locked on TJ as he shifted uncomfortably on the wooden bench, refusing to meet my gaze. I turned my attention to Amber, sat next to him in her waitress outfit, who shot me an apologetic look.

"So… are we gonna go in?" Walker asked, obviously very confused about the whole situation playing out in front of him. I fought the urge to roll my eyes as everyone suddenly sprung back into life.

"Yeah, let's go." Buffy said nervously as she grabbed Walker's hand to pull him towards the entrance, prompting Andi to head over to the door as well.

TJ slowly rose to his feet, his eyes glued to the ground. "I'm just… gonna go…"

"No!" I yelled without even thinking. Everyone turned their heads to me in surprise. "I- I mean… no, just…" I stammered, before letting out a heavy sigh and giving Andi an apologetic glance, to which she simply shook her head with a concerned frown. I turned to TJ again. "Just stay here, please. I need to talk to you."

TJ furrowed his eyebrows. "What about you 'needing time to think'? What happened to Monday?" He asked with a slight shake of his head.

"I know what I said, but I… I'm not gonna stop mulling over it all weekend and I'm not going to be able to focus on anything and I just wanted to speak to you now but I thought I needed time to think and…"

"Okay okay okay." TJ interrupted me with a brief flash of a smile. "I'll talk to you."

Andi grabbed my arm. "Cyrus." She whispered, reminding me of our previous conversation about TJ.

I gave her a reassuring nod. Any doubts I'd had over my readiness to discuss things with TJ disappeared the moment I saw him again. I had almost convinced myself that Andi was right, that I needed time away from TJ to clear my head, but the truth is I couldn't help but be drawn to him whenever he was around.

Andi gave me a thin smile before turning around and heading inside the Spoon. I knew that she was only worried because she cared about me, but at the same time she didn't know TJ the way I did. I knew that he would never hurt me intentionally.

Amber let out an awkward cough before getting up from the bench. "Well… I'm not getting caught in the middle of…" She gestured between the two of us, "Whatever this is." She smiled, giving me a brief 'good luck' pat on the shoulder as she passed me to go back inside.

With the slam of the door closing, instantly silence fell over us again. Slowly, I walked over to the bench and took a seat next to TJ, letting out an involuntary shiver as the breeze picked up.

"Are you cold?" TJ asked, turning to me. "We can go inside if you want?"

"No." I shook my head, giving him a small smile. "I'm fine."

TJ nodded, turning away from me. Then, after taking in a deep, steadying breath, he turned back to me. "I'm sorry about yesterday."

I immediately sighed. "You don't need to keep apologizing."

"No, I do." TJ shot back assuredly. "I shouldn't have snapped like that. You were only trying to help me and I…" He trailed off, trying to find the words to express what he was thinking. "I'm just not used to having people care about me so much."

My heart started to feel heavier in my chest. Was I really that important to him?

"TJ, you're my friend. That's what friends are for!" I pointed out, suppressing the aching feeling in my chest from referring to him as just a 'friend'.

TJ turned away again, a frown fixed on his face. I almost could spot the faintest hint of disappointment as I studied his expression, waiting for him to carry on. After a prolonged silence, he broke into a small laugh. "I had all this stuff I wanted to say to you."

I gave him a small nod. "Yeah?"

He leaned back against the bench with a sigh. "It's weird, it's like… I feel like I can just relax around you and not have to worry about all my 'stuff', you know?"

I felt my face threatening to break into a cheesy grin at the comment. "I feel the same. About you, I mean." I nodded, feeling my cheeks warming up.

TJ turned to me with that sweet, warm smile that he only ever seemed to reserve for me, and I found myself beaming back at him involuntarily as my heart pounded away in my chest. It was as we sat there, smiling at each other, reveling in the comfort of each other's company, that I realized what I wanted.

I cleared my throat, before airing my thoughts. "I feel like my friends expect this to be some huge drama between us, but… I mean, maybe it doesn't have to be?" I shrugged.

TJ stared at me in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Well, it's like… look at Andi and Buffy, with this whole Walker thing. It feels like every day there's some new twist or development between them and this tension is just dragging on and on. I'm sick of it, and so is Jonah. I know that those two still want to be best friends so it's annoying that they can't just let it all go and be best friends." I explained. TJ nodded slowly, so I continued with a half-smile in his direction. "I know you didn't mean to yell at me yesterday, or the night before. I know how much you've already done for me and you've already proven how much you care about me."

Then it was TJ's turn to blush, as he looked down at the ground trying to conceal his grin. "It's nothing, Underdog." He shrugged modestly.

"No, it's everything." I smiled. "And I care about you, and I don't like seeing you hurting like this. We don't need to let ourselves get hung up over stupid stuff like that. So I guess what I'm saying is… let's just let it go. You know, 'the past is in the past' or whatever."

TJ chuckled, giving me a playful nudge. "Yeah, whatever you say, Elsa."

I laughed back. "That is not going to be my new nickname, don't even think about it."

"Too late now, Elsa." He smirked mischievously.

"Okay, I'm this close to taking back everything I just said." I snorted, gesturing with my thumb and forefinger.

TJ nodded. "Point taken, Underdog." I smiled at the familiar nickname. After a calming moment of silence, TJ spoke up again. "So you're really okay with it all? Everything I said?"

"Yes." I answered, and I really meant it. "I want us to get back to what we were before that happened yesterday." I said, trying to subtly hint what I really wanted while not being brave enough to be anything more than intentionally vague about it.

"And what were we exactly?"

I felt my heart drop into my stomach as I fought the urge to lurch forward in my seat. I hadn't expected him to be so forward about it.

"Uh…" I hesitated, desperately trying to build up the courage to admit what I was feeling. TJ's face dropped slightly. He opened his mouth to say something when his phone started vibrating in his pocket. With a frustrated sigh, he pulled it out of his pocket to read the message.

"Shoot… my mom needs me back home." He frowned, standing up from the bench. "Talk later?" He offered, extending a hand to me.

I clasped his hand in mine, allowing him to pull me to my feet. My hand lingered in his, our faces now only inches apart as I felt myself getting lost in his deep, green eyes. TJ exhaled shakily, my face tingling from the gentle caress of his warm breath. I caught his eyes darting to my lips and my heart nearly leaped out of my chest.

TJ's phone vibrated again, causing him to pull away, much to my disappointment. "I really need to go now. I'll see you later." He smiled, giving me a half-wave before turning around and briskly walking away from me.

I stood frozen in that spot for a few seconds, my mind struggling to process what had just happened. TJ held my hand. He looked at my lips. I definitely did not imagine that. I noticed that my hands were sweating and shivering at the same time as I regained feeling in my legs, forcing myself to turn away and enter the Spoon.

As soon as I entered the diner, I felt the eyes on me again. I turned my head left to find Andi, Buffy and Walker all staring at me from their table as though I had grown a second head. I looked straight ahead to find Amber behind the counter with a look of concern on her face. I cast my eyes across the rest of the tables and, even though nobody else seemed to be looking at me, I couldn't fight the overwhelming sense that they were all whispering about me, mocking me, or that they had been spying on my conversation with TJ.

I felt my face burn red as I slowly walked over to my friends' booth, taking a seat next to Andi, opposite Walker. They all frowned at me as Andi placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"Are you okay?" She asked gently.

"Yeah." I nodded. "We're all good."

Andi blinked twice in disbelief. "You're good? What do you mean you're good?"

"We're friends again!" I smiled, stealing a baby tater from Andi's basket. I sensed that the baby tater wasn't the reason Andi shook her head at me in disapproval.

"So did TJ apologize?" Buffy asked, eyebrows furrowed.

"Yes, numerous times. I just decided that it wasn't worth the melodrama!" I clarified, my body finally starting to relax as I leaned back into my seat.

"Not worth it? He made y-" Andi almost launched into a rant, before she caught herself, casting a glance over at Walker's confused expression. Walker seemed to understand the reason for her hesitation, as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"I… assume this is about something you don't want me to hear?" He smiled, shifting his eyes from Andi to me.

"I-it's fine." I shrugged it off, trying to appear nonchalant. An awkward silence fell over our table, as Andi and Buffy exchanged a worried glance.

Walker studied my expression for a moment, before sighing calmly. "Look, it's clear that you've got some stuff that you want to talk to the girls about. I'm gonna take off and let you get it off your chest." He said, grabbing his bag and standing up from his seat.

"No, you don't have to do that." I assured him, but he simply shook his head.

"Cyrus, it's fine, I get it. You need to talk to your friends right now; I'm not going to stand in the way of that." Walker smiled, before turning to Buffy with an apologetic expression. "I'm sorry, Buffy, I'll see you tomorrow."

Walker leaned down and Buffy half-stood from her seat to meet him halfway for a hug, to which Andi visibly tensed, her hand gripping tighter onto my shoulder.

After the two separated from their hug which had lingered ever-so-slightly, Buffy smiled warmly. "Thank you for being so cool about this."

Walker nodded and, with a wave goodbye, walked out of the Spoon. I turned to Buffy, who was staring almost longingly at the door. I recognized her stare because it was the same stare I had reserved just for TJ.

"He's a good guy." I said with a small laugh. Andi's grip on my shoulder remained firm.

"He is." Buffy agreed, before finally turning back to us with a deep sigh. "Okay, so you and TJ are all good now?"

Andi immediately interjected, removing her hand from my shoulder. "No, they're not 'all good'." She said before turning to me. "What did you mean that it 'wasn't worth it'?"

"I meant that I knew he was sorry and I knew he didn't mean to hurt me and there's already enough drama going on right now and I just wanted us to go back to how we were!" I rambled.

Andi lowered her voice to a whisper. "But he made you have a panic attack. That's serious, Cyrus!"

"I know it is. But the truth is, I don't want to fight with him. I like being around him and I think he likes being around me, and fighting would just make both of us sad. I know that he'd never intentionally hurt me!"

"Cyrus." Andi tilted her head towards me. "I think it's great that you try to see the best in everyone. But don't you think that maybe you're putting just a little too much trust in TJ? I mean, this is the same guy that was awful to Buffy for months before summer break!"

"I think Cyrus is right." Buffy spoke up, staring at Andi. Andi and I turned our heads to her in surprise. Never in a million years would I have expected Buffy to defend TJ, but here we were. "TJ was… a total jerk to me before, but he's changing. He helped me with my try-outs and you saw how he spent summer break helping Cyrus tick stuff off his list!"

"I never thought you'd take his side." Andi commented dryly. Apparently she was just as shocked as I was.

"I never thought I would either." Buffy shrugged, before turning to me as I reached my hand into Andi's basket of taters again. "But honestly… you bring out the best in him, Cyrus." She smiled. I beamed at her, my heart warm in my chest. Buffy took a sip from her milkshake before opening her mouth to speak again. "So how long have you liked him?"

My eyes widened at the bluntness of the question. I immediately began choking on the second baby tater I had stolen from Andi. Buffy smirked at me as Andi thumped me on the back, causing me to cough up the guilty tater. My cheeks began to burn red again.

"Gross…" Andi grimaced.

"Cyrus. It's obvious that you have a crush on him!" Buffy pointed out as I grabbed a napkin to clean up the mess.

"Why do you think that?" I asked as casually as I could manage after my near death-by-tater.

"The way you smile at him? How you always stand so close to him? The way you never stop talking about him, or wanting to hang out with him, or bursting into life whenever he's around?" Buffy listed, as I looked away bashfully.

I knew that now was my moment to admit my feelings, and I knew that Andi and Buffy would support me, but I was scared all the same. I had already personally come to terms with my feelings, but admitting it out loud to someone else would be making it real. Suddenly, TJ wouldn't be 'Cyrus' friend' to them, he would become 'Cyrus' crush'. I knew that that acknowledgement would add a new layer of pressure on top of whatever our strange 'friends-but-almost-more-than-friends' relationship was.

But as I looked across at Buffy's knowing smirk, it was beyond clear to me that my telling her would be nothing more than a formality. She had already figured it out, so I decided to just bite the bullet rather than delay the inevitable.

"Okay!" I interrupted, holding up my hands in surrender. "I guess I kind of, sort of, maybe have a crush on him…" I mumbled, looking down at my hands as they rested lifelessly on the table.

Buffy beamed at me, grabbing my hands. "That's great Cyrus!"

I smiled back at her, before turning to Andi in uncertainty. "Do you… approve, Andi?" I asked, genuinely concerned that she would be upset.

After a tense moment of deliberation, Andi relaxed in her seat and smiled at me. "I still don't fully trust him, but… if he makes you happy, then I'm happy for you." She nodded. I let out a sigh of relief that I didn't know I had been holding in, leaning over to pull her into a tight hug. Buffy then leaned across the table with a small chuckle and hugged us both.

For one brief moment, all the drama and the tension between us had drained away. For one brief moment, we were just the Good Hair Crew again. I smiled wider than I even knew I could, savoring the moment while it lasted as I hugged my two best friends in the world tighter.

We were so wrapped up in the moment that none of us had noticed Amber cleaning the table directly behind us, smiling knowingly to herself.

I apologize for the extended delay for this chapter, truthfully I went through writer's block trying to decide how I wanted Cyrus and TJ's conversation to go, however I ultimately decided that, for the story I want to tell, this result was the best to go with.

I have a slightly clearer idea of where the story is going from here, so hopefully future chapters will be a bit more frequent than one per week.