TJ
TheSlayer has invited you to join a group chat.
I stared at the notification glowing on my laptop screen for what felt like hours, unsure what Buffy could possibly have to say to me. Cyrus may have forgiven me last week, but I couldn't imagine that Andi and Buffy were fully ready to do the same yet. Things had always been tense between me and Buffy even at the best of times, and Andi made it pretty obvious that she didn't trust me on multiple occasions.
Hesitantly, I accepted the invitation and found myself dropped into the chat mid-conversation.
MackShack: That way it would be 6 of us
Teejinator: Hi guys..?
MackShack: So not awkward
Underdog: Hi TJ!
I immediately smiled at the fact that Cyrus had made his own username 'Underdog'. The fact that he had been thinking of me when he decided that filled my heart with joy.
DociousMagocious: Ye but
DociousMagocious: Oh hi TJ
BrodskyPaints: Hi TJ
DociousMagocious: U make it sound like a triple date or something haha
Teejinator: Hi underdog lol
TheSlayer: TJ what even is that username
MackShack: It wasn't awkward like that
MackShack: Now it is
Teejinator: U really wanna compare cliche usernames, 'TheSlayer'?
MackShack: Jonah why would u even mention that?
BrodskyPaints: It's ok guys it doesn't have to be awkward
Underdog: TJ we're planning to all go to the carnival today do you want to come with us? :) it'll be fun and riding the spinner is on my list remember
I snorted to myself at the thought of Cyrus actually riding the Spinner. He had said repeatedly throughout summer break that when the carnival came back in town, he wanted to give it a try, but I genuinely had expected him to conveniently 'forget' about it when the time came.
The carnival came through Shadyside once every year for a few days, and although it had plenty of fun rides, games and stalls, the Spinner was by far the highlight. The ride consisted of a bunch of two-seater chairs which were lifted into up the air, then spun and tilted around at high speed for a couple of minutes. It wasn't super scary as far as carnival rides go, but for Cyrus it was basically a nightmare. I couldn't help but find myself to be impressed that he even considered riding it this year, especially considering how Andi and Buffy tried to convince him to ride it for the past four years in a row and he always vehemently refused.
TheSlayer: At least my username is relevant
TheSlayer: Considering how many times I SLAYED U at 1v1 over summer
DociousMagocious: It doesn't have to be a date thing you just made it sound like it was for a second
BrodskyPaints: Cyrus you really wanna ride the spinner?
MackShack: wAIT WAIT WAIT
TheSlayer: Cyrus I thought you were kidding about the spinner
MackShack: Wait cyrus you actually want to ride the spinner?
Teejinator: Sounds fun, what time were you planning?
DociousMagocious: As long as u don't puke in another shoe cy-guy ;)
Underdog: WELL THANKS FOR THE VOTE OF CONFIDENCE GUYS
Underdog: jONAH
BrodskyPaints: Wait who what
BrodskyPaints: You puked in a shoe?
Underdog: We all agreed that particular humiliation would never be spoken of again!
TheSlayer: Sorry cyrus but your track record kind of speaks for itself haha
Teejinator: Do I want to ask about the shoe thing?
DociousMagocious: Oh I forgot
DociousMagocious: Sorry cy-guy _
MackShack: No you absolutely do not it's gross
TheSlayer: I'll tell you later TJ
Underdog: NO
TheSlayer: lol
BrodskyPaints: Btw tj we were thinking of meeting there at 11
DociousMagocious: TJ we're meeting at about 11
DociousMagocious: Oh
BrodskyPaints: Snap haha
TheSlayer: You guys are so in sync lol
Teejinator: Thanks guys sounds great
TheSlayer: Now kiss
BrodskyPaints: Kek
MackShack: Lol I ship it
Underdog: Jkghfgjkljgdfsdf the plot twist literally no one asked for
Teejinator: Lol when's the wedding
Teejinator: Also KEK
DociousMagocious: Lol
TheSlayer: Didn't you hear them? it's at 11 :P
DociousMagocious: Gtg need to shower
MackShack: Mayb walker could give u a hand haha
Underdog: Ah
TheSlayer: Oh
BrodskyPaints: .
MackShack: Hmm ok that was a bit much
Teejinator: This is why I don't group chat with you people
TheSlayer: Rude
Underdog: :'( :'( :'(
BrodskyPaints: This group chat changes you
MackShack: You seem to have a knack for hurting cyrus's feelings tj
Teejinator: Lol not you underdog
As soon as I hit 'send' on my previous message, I glanced up at Andi's message and immediately felt a pang of guilt in my chest. I let out a frustrated sigh in response, her remark having confirmed my suspicions that Cyrus' friends hadn't forgiven me yet.
MackShack: SORRY
TheSlayer: Andi
TheSlayer: Time and place
Underdog: Andi I was kidding! TJ don't worry I wasn't actually upset I'm fine
BrodskyPaints: Oh boy
Underdog: Sorry TJ if I worried you
Teejinator: Wow
MackShack: Sorry sorry sorry
MackShack: I don't even know why I sent that! Sorry
Teejinator: I forgive you
Teejinator: Underdog
Underdog: Andi you don't need to defend me so much
TheSlayer: Ouch tj
Underdog: TJ's secretly just a big softie
MackShack: Sorry cyrus force of habit
TheSlayer: Oh really cyrus? do tell
MackShack: TJ I'm really sorry I am trying my best to forgive you I swear
Teejinator: Dw about it Andi
I bit down on my tongue, a mix of anger, disappointment and regret swirling around my mind.
Underdog: Buffy PM me
Teejinator: Also underdog why must you come for me so
Teejinator: NO
TheSlayer: Also walker is like dead
Teejinator: Ok I'm out
MackShack: Jonah's probs serenading him right now lol
Teejinator: See u at 11 if I haven't found friends who aren't SNAKES by then
Underdog: Ssssss
With a chuckle, I closed my laptop, cheeks burning red. I put a hand up to my face, dreading to think what dark secrets Cyrus could be spilling to Buffy right now. I smiled in embarrassment as I looked over at the metallic silver clock hanging from my bedroom wall. It was 9:30, so I had plenty of time to get ready.
As I had breakfast, showered and got dressed throughout the morning, I felt a bubble of excitement growing within me. I knew that the idea of this being a 'triple date' was immediately shot down in flames by Andi, but in the back of my mind I couldn't shake the feeling that that's exactly what it was. Buffy and Walker were dating, Andi and Jonah were... something, and Cyrus and I seemed to be growing closer with every passing day.
I still had a niggling worry in my brain that I was making up all of the 'signs' that I was picking up from Cyrus, and that he was actually straight all along and just overly friendly, but that worry shrunk with every second we spent together. Instinctively, I cast my mind back to that moment on the way to the Spoon; my arms wrapped around Cyrus, his weight pressing against my own, the sound of our calm yet heavy breathing in tune with one another…
I couldn't have just been making this all up, could I?
The time on my phone read '10:57' as I casually strolled over to Andi, Cyrus and Jonah who stood talking outside the entrance to the carnival. I let out a contented sigh as I took in the sunlight's warmth. The weather had been pretty dark and stormy for the past week, and while I loved staying up late watching and listening as the raindrops collided with my bedroom window and then slowly slithered down to the ground, we were all incredibly grateful that the sun had come back in force since yesterday so that the carnival wouldn't be closed.
"Hey guys!" I called out as I approached the group, a smile tugging at my lips as they returned my greeting with an assortment of 'hey's and 'how are you's. "No Buffy and Walker yet?" I asked, looking around for them.
"Buffy texted, she said they're just a couple of blocks away." Andi responded.
"Ah." I nodded, before turning to Cyrus with an excited smile. "So, are you ready to ride the Spinner?"
Cyrus visibly paled as a look of worry flashed across his face. "I- I guess." He stuttered, looking down bashfully.
"Hey, you don't have to if you don't want to." I reminded him in a more gentle tone of voice.
"No, I…" He looked away for a second before continuing. "I want to, but it's just scary to think about it."
"It's normal to be scared of things, Cyrus." Andi smiled, placing a hand on his shoulder.
"Yeah, and if things go wrong I brought an extra shoe along just for you." I joked with a smirk. Andi and Jonah both chuckled in response. Cyrus took in a sharp breath, refusing to meet my eyes as he turned bright red. He went for his cute, puppy dog pout but he couldn't help breaking into a laugh himself.
After a few seconds of laughter, Cyrus looked up at me with a mischievous glint in his eyes, before turning to Andi and Jonah. "By the way, did I ever tell you guys about TJ's favourite movie?"
Then it was my turn to blush. My eyes widened as I ran over to place a hand over the shorter boy's mouth. "No, no, no, shut up Cyrus!" I laughed.
We struggled for a few seconds as Cyrus tried to peel my hand from his mouth as Andi and Jonah laughed. Cyrus eventually succeeded when I felt a warm wetness slithering against my palm. I instinctively pulled my hand away from Cyrus' mouth to wipe it on my jeans in disgust, and he took the opportunity to immediately start singing loudly, "We're soaring, flyi-"
I immediately interrupted him by planting my hand back over his mouth, my ears now burning red as Andi and Jonah were both doubled over with laughter. "Cyrus! You promised you wouldn't tell anyone!" I complained, while feeling myself break into an embarrassed laugh all the same.
"Aww, so which number is your favourite, TJ?" Andi teased, wiping tears from her eyes.
"Ooh, I know!" Jonah laughed, "It's gotta be the basketball one, right?"
I bit my bottom lip, shaking my head furiously as I turned my back to them. "I don't have to take this abuse." I frowned as Cyrus placed his hand on my arm to turn me back around.
I heard Andi gasp. "Oh my god, you want to be Zac Efron!"
"His name's Troy, alright?" I grumbled, crossing my arms in defeat.
"Oh hey, there's Buffy and Walker!" Jonah smiled, waving to them as they approached.
As we all turned to greet them, I took the opportunity to lean over and whisper in Cyrus' ear. "If you tell Buffy, you're riding the Spinner alone." I threatened jokingly.
Cyrus shrugged. "I'm afraid she already knows, my friend."
I gritted my teeth, hiding my humiliation behind a forced, wide smile. "You're dead to me." I deadpanned.
Cyrus pulled me into an endearing side-hug, and suddenly I forgot what we had just been talking about.
We had a lot of fun for the first couple of hours. Andi and Buffy appeared to be getting along despite Walker's presence, Cyrus went on the merry-go-round to prove to Jonah that he could handle it without any shoe-puking this time, and I managed to redeem myself by beating Buffy in a basketball throwing game.
"Aww man, who's 'the slayer' now, Driscoll?" I smirked, crossing my arms smugly across my chest.
"Not you, Troy." Buffy shot back, rolling her eyes.
I genuinely found myself having a great time, and for the first time since I met them, I allowed myself to believe that I could actually become a regular member of Cyrus' little circle of friends and get along with all of them. And as the day went on, I kept catching Cyrus stealing nervous glances towards the Spinner, as it towered over the rest of the carnival.
While Cyrus was in a happy mood immediately after I had won him a stuffed dinosaur, I took the opportunity to pull him to one side.
"So do you wanna try the Spinner?" I whispered.
Cyrus let out a heavy sigh, as though he had been dreading this question all day. "Yes and no." He said with a short laugh.
I wrapped an arm around his shoulders, giving him a little shake. "Come on, I'll be right next to you and nothing bad is going to happen." I promised.
"I know, but…" He trailed off, looking up at the Spinner again, listening to the sounds of people on the ride screaming out in either joy or terror. After a few moments of deliberation, he let out a shaky breath and nodded his head. "Okay." He mumbled.
I smiled widely out of what I could only describe as pride. "Are you sure?"
"No." He laughed. "But let's just do it before I change my mind."
I nodded, and with that, we gathered up the rest of the group and joined the line. After about ten minutes of waiting, the six of us were more or less at the front of the line, with Andi and Jonah just in front of us, followed by Walker and Buffy. The entire time, my arm had remained casually draped across Cyrus' shoulders. I didn't dare to move it in any way as though Cyrus would suddenly remember my arm was there and shrug it off. As the ride began to slow down to let people off, I felt Cyrus violently shudder.
He turned to me, his eyes wide with fear. "I can't do this, I can't TJ, I'm gonna die, I have to get out of the line!" He rambled, trying to nudge past me to get away.
I put my free hand firmly on his other shoulder, crouching slightly to meet his deer-in-headlights gaze. "Hey, yes you can." I assured him as he shivered on the spot. "Remember how badly you wanted to clear this off your list? All summer you've been talking about it! I'm gonna be right there next to you and I promise that I won't let anything happen to you."
"Next!" The ride operator called out, and the line began to move again. Without even thinking twice, I moved my hands from Cyrus' shoulders and grabbed on to his hand, giving it a comforting squeeze to stop it from shaking.
"Come on." I whispered.
I saw a whole range of emotions flash across Cyrus' eyes all at once - fear, sadness, joy and almost excitement as he swallowed the lump in his throat and gave me a small nod in response. As Andi and Jonah began to climb the stairs to take their seats, I began walking forward, Cyrus towing along behind me at a slower pace than usual.
As we walked over to our two-seater, Andi and Jonah both gave us a reassuring thumbs-up, while Buffy gave Cyrus a pat on the shoulder as she and Walker took their own seats in front of Andi and Jonah. Finally, we reached the next empty seats in front of Buffy and Walker and sat down.
"I can't believe I'm doing this." Cyrus laughed incredulously. I loosened my grip on his hand as if to let go of him, but he only tightened his own hold and pulled my hand over to hold against his chest. I raised my eyebrows at him, but he simply smiled and said, "I'm gonna need the extra support for this."
As the ride operator did the rounds to lower our harnesses, Cyrus reluctantly had to let go of my hand. As soon as the operator was finished with us, Cyrus instantly grabbed for my hand again, interlacing our fingers this time. I felt tingles run up my arm at his gentle yet firm touch. My insides felt like they were on fire as my heart began to pound in my chest.
I turned my head to the boy beside me to see beads of sweat already forming on his forehead, his breathing short and quick. I squeezed his hand and leaned over as far as my harness would let me. "Be brave." I whispered to him.
For a moment, I wasn't sure if he had even heard me due to the lack of a response, but after a tense second or two he shifted slightly in his seat and steadied his breathing. He looked at me with a grateful smile, but that smile was instantly replaced with an expression of sheer horror as the ride began to lift us into the air.
"Be brave be brave be brave be brave…" I heard Cyrus whispering to himself as I felt his palm sweating against my own. I gave his hand another squeeze out of pride, and this time he squeezed back.
When the ride finally reached the top and began rotating, Cyrus let out the most blood-curdling scream I'd ever heard. He gripped my hand tighter and tighter as the ride moved faster and faster. I looked over at him to see that his eyes had slammed shut and he was completely red in the face. As fun as the ride was, the only thing I could focus on were our intertwined hands. It was just the two of us sharing this moment. His hand fit mine like a glove, his smaller fingers slotting perfectly between my own. Nothing else mattered to me in that moment. Not the screams echoing around me, nor the wind stinging my face, nor the faint, wispy clouds that hung above us. The only thing that mattered to me, my entire world, was clenched in my hand.
Whatever I had felt for Cyrus when we got on that ride, it had reached a whole new magnitude when the ride finally slowed to a crawl and we were lowered down to the ground.
"Can I open my eyes now?" Cyrus squeaked, his voice faint.
"Yes." I nodded with a chuckle.
The smaller boy took in his surroundings, his hand still in mine although his grip had loosened to the point where he wasn't leaving nail-shaped indents in my skin anymore. "I… can't… believe I just did that!" He squealed, bouncing excitedly in his seat.
I beamed proudly at him. "You did it! That's another thing ticked off the list! You were really brave."
"Couldn't have done it without you." He smiled, his cheeks flushed a light pink.
The rest of our slow descent was spent just looking into each other's eyes. I didn't know what it was, but something in his deep, brown eyes was calling out to me. I felt a longing from Cyrus that I had either never noticed or had actively denied before. Something about the way he looked back at me made everything click into place for me.
Cyrus Goodman liked me back.
"I can't believe you actually did it, Cy-guy!" Jonah smiled in disbelief as the six of us walked away from the ride.
"I know, it was insane! And I didn't even puke this time!" He declared confidently.
Cyrus and I had reluctantly separated our hands once we got off the ride, but we still walked close enough beside one another for our hands to continuously brush against one another, sparks flying through my body with every brief contact.
"You've definitely come a long way, Cyrus." Buffy nodded, briefing smiling in my direction.
"You have." I agreed, instinctively wrapping an arm around his shoulders again. He subtly leaned into me as we walked with the group.
"So what should we do next?" Walker asked.
Andi's eyes lit up. "Ooh! I was thinking we should go get some cotton candy and maybe…"
I stopped in my tracks, tuning out Andi's voice as I looked over at the two boys staring at us from a distance.
Shit.
Cyrus immediately noticed that I had frozen in place. He looked up at me in confusion. "TJ? What's up?" He followed my gaze until his eyes fell on Reed and Lester, my… ex-friends. He let out a quiet gasp as he realized that they were staring at us, a smug smirk forming on Reed's stupid face.
I immediately pulled my arm off of Cyrus and took a step away from him, to which he wore a visibly hurt expression.
"TJ, what happened with you guys?" Cyrus asked me. By this point, the rest of our group had turned to see what was going on as well, and all eyes were on me.
Shit.
It dawned on me all at once that I'd never told Cyrus what happened with Reed and Lester. I'd never told him why I suddenly stopped hanging out with them.
Shit.
I couldn't let Reed do what I was scared he was going to do.
I turned to Cyrus with a sad, apologetic look. "I- I'm sorry, Underdog." I whispered, before turning tail and walking away from him.
"TJ?" He called after me. I fought every instinct in my body telling me to return to his side. Instead, I just kept on walking towards the exit. "TJ, please!" Cyrus called again, his voice catching at the end.
My heart felt like it had turned to stone. But I kept walking. I wasn't going to let Cyrus become a victim here. I couldn't do that to him.
I bit down hard on my bottom lip as I kept on walking, doing my best to hold back the tears that threatened to fall from my eyes.
Sorry, Underdog.
Yikes, this chapter turned out to be much longer than I'd expected. I think I just had much more fun with the group chat section at the beginning than I thought I would, so I just kept writing it. I apologise if it was difficult to follow, but I wanted to get across the sense that these conversations are overlapping with each other because that is what tends to happen in my group chats.
Aaand now I kind of want to write a full-on group chat story. Great.