Rey had felt it today, in their first training session, Kylo Ren still had the Light Side within him. It was smothered under a blanket of darkness, like a flickering light miles away – it was there but faint. Rey had been right about good living within him.
The truth of his anger had become more clear to her during their meditation. Rey had been focusing on her connection to the Force just like he had instructed, but it was hard to ignore the emotions Kylo had been emitting. He was a tense ball of festering hate. He clung to that hatred as if he would die without it – it was the very hatred of his own father, Han Solo. Kylo had felt abandoned by his father when they had sent him away to Luke's Academy. Flashes of Ren's father and mother fading into the distance as he left for the academy had resonated in Rey's mind. Both his parent's faces had been filled with sorrow when Ben had left, but for Ben Solo all he ever felt was betrayal and anger.
Rey had no idea how similar their pain was, she'd been too young to really remember being left on Jakku. Back on Takodana Rey had seen flashes of her abandonment, seeing that opened a wound she thought had closed long ago. She could feel her family loved her – she always could, but she feared they had left her on Jakku to protect her. They had never returned for her, and it worried her everyday that she truly was alone, and that her family existed no more. If she had been older and experienced constant desertion of his parents – she might have become as troubled as Kylo was. But Rey's loneliness had become a fact of her childhood.
Constant loneliness was what kept her on a set track, she had been defined by her environment and own beliefs. Maybe her own pain could be used to heal Kylo's; it was worth a try. If Rey could forgive her parents for leaving her, then at least there was a chance Kylo could do the same.
The comment Kylo had made still rung freshly in her head.
"You should draw upon your anger, I sense you have some toward your family and that friend of yours, FN-2187. They left you alone to suffer."
The very thought had disgusted her, Finn was still her friend, even if he had left to escape the First Order. As for her family, she liked to believe they had an important reason for leaving her. She knew Kylo was trying to sway her from the path of good, and no matter what, she refused to be influenced by his evil.
Rey couldn't be converted to the Dark Side, Maz had told Rey her destiny was to bring Luke back. She would not be diverted from her mission, the moment she was out of here, she was going to find the other pieces of the map. The Galaxy needed Luke.
Then there was the matter of Kylo trying to reach into her thoughts, she was uncertain of his intentions. He claimed it was to test her, but his intentions were still a mystery to her. In the beginning when he tried to extract the map from her, there had been so much pain. But when he had tried this time there hadn't been any discomfort. What was he playing at if he hadn't been after the map, she wondered. Why did he need to get inside her mind?
Ren claimed he was a servant of the Dark Side, but Rey could feel the conflict in him. If he was truly beyond hope Kylo would just be torturing her for the map to Skywalker, but instead he was offering a peaceful exchange. This was not the nature of a true monster, there was good in him, and Rey had felt it.
Rey curled up on her metal bed, and closed her eyes. To warm herself, she pulled the blanket over her head. This damn base was so cold all the time, it seemed like they never even heated the place. Rey rubbed her hands together to try and use the friction as heat.
Tomorrow she decided, tomorrow she would bring up his good side during their training section – maybe try to appeal to him. She didn't want to give up on him yet, not when she felt the light within.
Rey scratched three marks into the wall using her finger nails. It was her third day here, and her second day of training with Kylo Ren. She didn't want to forget and counting always reminded her of the time she had invested. Time was valuable and she didn't want to forget that.
Last night had been miserable, this metal bed was impossible to sleep upon. Her back was sore and no amount of stretching was relieving her pain. She considered asking for another blanket, but there was no way she would be indebted to Kylo any further.
Ren came at the same time as yesterday, the door opened with a buzz and just like yesterday Kylo still wore his black mask. Rey wished she could see his face again. She liked the way his black hair waved and curled – and the way his eyebrows scrunched together when he focused. Honestly, Rey liked studying his face and slowly she was learning all his expressions.
Obediently, Rey got up and followed Kylo through Starkiller Base, until they reached his training room. He was always so skittish when they walked through the halls, like someone was going to jump them. Visibly Rey saw Kylo's shoulders relax as the door closed behind them.
"We will start every lesson with a quick mediation," Kylo stated while he took a seat on the floor.
Rey sat down and began to concentrate on the Force – she pulled on the feels of compassion, just like Ren had told her. This time Kylo was the focus of her compassionate meditation. To her, Kylo was pure just tangled up by his hate for Han Solo. For that she hoped he would find his way again, that he wasn't beyond help. There was a chance Kylo would find forgiveness for his father. It was Han who had allowed his selfishness define Kylo.
"What are you doing," Rey heard Kylo hiss. Her eyes snapped open to see Kylo was standing in front of her. He was tall and towered over her – his stony demeanor and stature refused to be ignored. "Keep me out of your meditation," he warned.
"No." Rey snapped defiantly. "I can meditate about whatever I choose. I sense there is light within you and I hope you embrace it. Your hate is misguided, it's not too late for you to forgive those you believe have wronged you." She had felt it yesterday, he was upset at his father for suggesting that h should be sent away.
Kylo sat down again, anger was boiling underneath those black robes of his – Rey could feel it. Yet his rage never came to a full fruition, he couldn't seem to expel it and yell at her. He was holding back, and Rey took that as a good sign.
"You think you're the only one who had parents that left you. Our pain is similar, except I haven't let it control me – let your hate go. If I can forgive my parents for leaving, you're more than capable of doing it too," Rey told him peacefully.
"My hate is my own, and I will not give it up. But two can play at this childish game," he spat. She could see through his facade, Ren sounded harrowed by her discovery, like the truth was hurting his reputation as an evil, soulless dark lord.
Rey didn't want to give up, she wouldn't give up. "I won't give up on you, I promise." That's was when Rey felt as if she was on quicksand, and the ground was shifting beneath her, Kylo was sucking her into this war.
"You should give up, I don't want or need to be saved," Ren sounded more annoyed.
"Your mind contradicts what you say, which leads me to think you're wrong." Rey shot back.
Ren was focusing on his hatred for her, and it was surprisingly weaker than she would have initially suspected. She wished she knew what drove his dislike of her, he was closely protecting his thoughts, much more than he had in their last meditation session.
They sat there for what seemed like hours, as the emotions of compassion and hate clashed in a violent war. The room was charged with such static, as the situation became volatile.
Rey was the first one to back down, and call her meditation to an end. Tomorrow she would continue her vendetta to save Kylo's soul.
Ren stood up and looked at Rey, she could feel his smoldering gaze from under his helmet. There was no way he was pleased about her meditation, but to her it was necessary. There was goodness in Kylo and she was going to draw it out.
"Today I will be teaching you how to use the Force to move objects. This is much more complicated than just simply feeling the Force. You must project the Force. Watch," he instructed.
Rey watched as he lifted the largest metal cylinder. It was twice the height of her, and its radius was twice her arm span, the cylinder must have weighed at least half a ton. He moved it through the air with such ease – Kylo's body remained fairly relaxed as if lifting the cylinder wasn't even a burden. He didn't move it far, but enough to make his point.
Kylo turned back to her, his helmet made it hard to gauge what he was thinking. "That will be the pinnacle of your training, when you can move that cylinder. Until you are more skilled you can move the smaller ones, but first we still start with this stick." Kylo pulled a very small wooden stick from his robes and tossed it across the room – it landed on the floor with a loud thud.
Rey gave him a disapproving glare. "You're making me play fetch, like a dog?"
"Exactly." She wasn't sure, but it sounded as if Kylo was holding back a chuckle. The helmet muffled a lot of emotion from his voice, but that was its purpose she assumed.
"I'll give it a try." She muttered with discontent.
Rey could feel the Force surrounding her so closely it was literally grazing her skin. Focusing on the Force around her, Rey extended her hand – and the Force jumped from her fingers on its own. The stick twitched on the ground like a fish out of water, but it didn't come closer to her.
"Your posture is all wrong," Kylo said critically. "Let me show you."
Ren took a few steps so he was standing directly behind her. "Straighten your back, and throw your shoulders out a little bit, it helps when you're learning."
Without hesitation she did exactly as she was told, her spine became straight as a pencil. She made sure her shoulders weren't slouched. That was when Rey felt his body against her own, he was leaning against her back a little. There was no way she wasn't blushing now, as Kylo grabbed her hand took it in his own. Rey didn't like it, back on Jakku when Finn had taken her hand to aid her in escaping, she'd been very annoyed. Currently Rey could feel disgust bubbling up within her, but she couldn't deny that Ren was very gentle with her hand as he positioned it toward their target.
"Before you were just outstretching your fingers, like you were casting a spell. The Force isn't magic, it is mental focus and power, now try anticipating the stick to land in your hand." He said patiently while his hand was still guiding hers.
Rey tried to focus her thoughts, but it was harder with Kylo's body pressed against her. Somehow she was able to push out the thought of him, and center her attention to the Force around her once again. She drew on the emotions Kylo had told her about, specifically compassion.
The stick twitched on the ground for only a few seconds before it jumped right into her palm. Rey clenched it in her fist like a trophy.
"It worked. It worked," she shouted with joy. Rey couldn't even suppress the happiness she was feeling. Physically her cheeks were hurting from the amount of smiling she was doing.
"I can't believe I actually did that." Rey turned around to face Kylo. "Thank you for your guidance, truly."
Ren was still grasping onto her hand, she swore for a second he tightened his grip a little, but it felt oddly affectionate before he let go. "You're welcome," he said smoothly. "You're a quick study for someone who didn't know they were Force-sensitive more than a few days ago."
Rey was absolutely shocked, she felt her jaw go ajar. Had Kylo just awarded her a compliment? Maybe she had just imagined such kind words leaving his mouth. Quickly, Rey closed her mouth so she didn't look like a gawking imbecile.
"Was that a compliment," Rey questioned with hesitation.
"It was, but don't let the power go to your head." He was half teasing her and half scolding her. Rey just smirked and nodded. Power was never something that went to her head, but she took his words as a good sign.
Religiously, Rey practiced throwing the stick and pulling it toward her. After a while she was able to stop it in mid air and bring it back to her. Already she seemed adept at this type of Force usage. By the end of their session it felt like second nature, almost as easy as breathing.
Kylo had remained silent after he instructed her on her posture – he must have simply been watching. It wasn't long until he ended their training for the day. Rey followed him as they left, locked up the training room and headed back to her cell.
As usual, Ren was very clandestine as they went through the halls. They avoided a patrol of Stormtroopers and one officer who almost spotted them.
"What's the need for such secrecy?" She asked as they finally approached the cell block. The shrieks of agony and pain filled the silence between them, as Kylo opened her cell door and turned to face her. "I thought you had some power in the First Order."
"I do have power in the First Order," he replied with his synthetic voice. "And I choose to keep you from General Hux's radar. That man wants you dead – he doesn't believe people who have the Force deserve to live. If things were his way, we would be eradicated for being different."
"You're protecting me from Hux then," she inquired.
Kylo remained silent. In that moment Rey desperately wished she could see his face – she wanted to read his expression – to know what he was thinking. Nothing in that moment mattered more than finding out the truth: was Kylo really protecting her or was this somehow for his selfish benefit. She was tempted to ask him to remove his mask, but she held her tongue.
"You can think what you wish, but I want the map." He said sharply.
Rey wasn't convinced Kylo actually meant it – from the sound of it Kylo was protecting her from General Hux. If he really wanted the map, Ren could have allowed General Hux to torture for the map, and ended their training. It wouldn't disadvantage him in any way. Obviously there was something more to this. For a second, Rey thought that maybe she meant more to Kylo than just a prisoner. But Rey shook the silly notion from her head.
"Tomorrow our training will be later, I have a meeting to attend," Kylo finally broke the silence with his announcement.
Rey nodded, and walked inside her cell. "I understand. Thank you, and have a goodnight, Ben." There was a sudden shift when she called him by his real name. She could feel how much he disliked being called Ben, it was a reminder that he belonged to something more than just the Dark Side. She was sure it reminded him of his family.
That was when the door closed and Rey was left by herself, with her own thoughts about Ben Solo.
[A/N]: Hey guys, thank you so much for reading this chapter. It means the world to me to have such wonderful followers like yourselves! If you have time, please leave a comment on how you think the chapter went or how the story is unfolding. Next chapter will be about Kylo's meeting with General Hux, so stay tuned.