All my nightmares have ever known is Kylo Ren, and what is capable of or what he has done. However, it is not he who haunts me now.
I am alone walking through the darkness. I see a single light shining to the side of the path I'm on. Poe is pacing across the grass. I try to step from the road but I can't. There is a cliff and I can't reach him before he slips from the edge of a precipice, falling into the abyss.
My feet keep me walking down the path. I see Rey standing at a cross intersection, as I approach her she turns from me and walks down a different road, to follow the old Jedi ways.
I step further down the road and see a stall, I walk up to it, about to ask for help out of this place when I notice the display of BB-8 completely dismantled, his pieces and hard drives scattered for sale.
The man in the store lightly shakes my shoulder in encouragement. I open my mouth to speak to him but can't form any words. I feel my shoulder shake again and this time I wake from my heavy slumber.
My eyes adjust to the dim light and see Luke looming above me. I move to sit up and my leg cramps, so I end up staying slanted and gazing up at him.
"You've been out of it for a while,"
"Are Rey and Poe okay?" I immediately ask, and he nods once. "How long is a while?"
"10 hours," my lips part in shock, I look around the room frantically, trying to find the nearest exit to find them. "Stop," he presses my shoulder back against the chair. Then I notice the two occupied beds and the rhythmical beeping of many machines. "Rey has a few broken ribs which punctured lung but they were able to operate, she's stable," he points to the right bed. I'm too slouched down to see her face but I know it's her. I sigh.
"What about Poe?" Luke's stoic expression wavers slightly.
"He's critical," my ease over Rey's condition drops away at the words.
"What happened?" I look at the other bed observing the increase of machines, more monitors and more wires.
"The steal punctured his spinal cord."
I am curious as to why Luke is retelling these messages to me, but I assume he was seeing Rey.
"Why didn't he eject from the cockpit? He would have been okay..." I mumble half to myself.
"The connections were lodged, he tried but they didn't release," I stay silent, an unease that I think I witnessed the tampering occur eats at me. I remembering how I watched Koden tighten parts of the cockpit, Poe would never have realised until he needed to use it.
We are silent for a long moment, Luke looks in the distance, and I relive what happened on the battlefield. I attempt to make sense of everything, but one thing in particular stands out.
"Luke," I request his attention and he waits for me to continue, "How did you know you had the Force?"
"It was always a part of me, in my blood so to speak, it isn't something that you can know; it just is."
"Do I have it?" I whisper, restraining the hope that Rey and I could be similar.
He laughs to himself, not in a mocking manner though, and shakes his head, "Sorry to disappoint you, Finn, but no."
"It felt like I did, while I was fighting against the knights, it was unlike anything I've experienced. What else could it be?" I ask, searching his expressionless features.
"I think you'll find the answer is in your hands," I look down and notice how I still hold Rey's saber.
I look at the detailing on the hilt. I start at the top, the metal is shining silver and a thick band of it has no markings, but a bit further down I see two deep grooves that criss-cross over each other, creating small circles all the way around. In the middle of the saber is a strip of black metal with no markings at all. I look down at the next etching which is a series of a few lines running parallel and around the entire saber. The metal fades to a dull gray with small markings and swirls which wrap around the bottom of it. I look back up at Luke, then back down. For the first time I see a glimmer of a smile in his eyes.
"I don't understand," I admit. It's beautiful, but I don't see how this would explain anything.
"I think you do," he assures me. I wish he'd give me a straight answer, at least once. He then goes to walk out of the room.
"Please, Luke, can you just tell me?" I whisper loudly.
He shakes his head twice, "You need to look deeper, past what you see," he pushes open the door and walks out, leaving me with two sets of beeping monitors. I decide that I will look at the saber later, and awkwardly stand up, my healing leg is stiff. I grab my chair, flinching at the screeching noise it makes against the concrete as I drag it between the two beds. I can't seem to look at Poe for very long, his strong body cloaked in a medical gown, with numerous wires and patches gauging his vitals. He has tubes in his mouth and nose, his neck in a brace and his eyes puffy and bruised. Small cuts are scattered across his cheeks and his lip is split. I place my chair down so that it is tilted more towards Rey.
She is also in the medical gown, tubes in her nose; I take hold of her cold hand, intertwining her fingers with mine. I brush the hair off her face, her skin sticky. Even though I'd been asleep for hours I'm still tired, so I move even closer to Rey and rest my head next to hers, close enough that her hair brushes mine. Although I have the beeping above me as a constant reminder she's breathing it isn't enough, so I ever so carefully place my hand against her chest, where her heart is, avoiding the puncture wound below. I sigh in relief as it beats softly into my skin.
I wake to her fingers twitching in mine, so I lean back to watch as her eyes move behind her eyelids and her lips twitch in a tiny smile before she frowns and mutters a few words, "I'm sorry," she blinks her eyes open, "I broke our promise," she clarifies. It had not occurred to me that she let her emotions control her actions in her attempt to save me.
I laugh and take my hand from her heart and cup her face, turning her slightly to face me. Her beautiful green eyes are dull and ringed with exhaustion. I lean forward and press my chapped lips to her forehead.
"None of that matters, just as long as you're okay," I whisper.
"What happened?" She mumbles still trying to find her voice again.
"Finn, here, always saves the day," I turn my attention to the door to see the General walk in.
"Leia?" Rey sounds unsure, her head turning in my hand to look at her.
"You got yourself a good one," she chuckles and winks, Rey blushes.
"I know," she tilts her cheek out of my hand and kisses my palm. I realise they're referring to me and I flicker my eyes down and try to conceal my embarrassment. "What did he do this time?" She asks; her voice still groggy.
"Finn was able to shut down the corrupt defence weapons and disable the database so the Stormtroopers couldn't access any more of our vital information." Rey turns her head back to face me.
"That was you?" She's surprised but I'm not offended. I nod, her eyes shine and I realise as she bites her lip that she is proud, not surprised.
"That isn't all-" Leia is about to lead into further explanation, but Rey cuts in.
"You defeated the knights, didn't you?"
I shrug, "A couple," I admit, giving myself some credit.
Rey turns her attention to the General, and she returns her expression.
"So that's a yes?" She asks for confirmation from the General who purses her lips and nods.
"You don't have to be modest," Rey looks at me again.
"I wasn't, they fled when the pilots gained the upper hand," I look between the two women and feel as if I have no chance of convincing them.
"Why don't you tell Rey how she got here?" The General's suggestion is more of an order so I comply.
"I carried you," I state matter-of-factly, not seeing its relevance. For some reason Rey's expression softens and she melts into my touch, and I don't know why.
"You carried me?" She repeats and I nod, not seeing what the big deal is. "Thank you," I furrow my brow but smile at her. Maybe she still isn't used to someone coming back for her, but her well-being will always be my priority she must know that by now.
"I need to say thank you as well," I look up at the General. "You saved the resistance and many of its members, including Poe - for a second time- we're indebted to you, Finn," I look over my shoulder where Poe lies unconscious, tubes and wires keeping him alive.
"I just did what I thought was right, General," I try to defuse her gratitude because I don't want anyone to feel indebted to me.
"You chose wisely," she has a hint of a smile on her lips.
I give her an affirmative nod before I shift slightly in my seat, careful of my bandaged thigh. She nods at each of us before heading towards the door.
"Wait, General Organa…" she turns around, "Where is BB-8?" She frowns.
"He is being looked at by the mechanical droids unit, a few of his circuits were damaged as a result of the crash. He should be fully operationally, but some of his database may be wiped." I don't get a chance to respond before she quietly leaves the room after a quick glance at Poe.