Rey carved her fourth scratch into the wall with her nails, counting always made her feel as if time wasn't escaping. It was about to be her third day of training with Kylo on this hell-hole of a base. She had to admit, this wasn't the worse situation she could be in. At least she had clothes, a regular meal, and she didn't have to work her ass off for scraps. Then there was the fact that she wasn't being tortured and she was actually getting trained by a person skilled in the Force. It wasn't fun being a prisoner and having her free will being removed, but then again, this made her realize her life on Jakku had been nothing short of slavery.
She missed the sun, warm winds and sand back on Jakku. But nothing even compared to the small time she spent on Takodana – the water and greenery had taken her breath away. Never before had she ever smelled such sweet breezes and felt so comfortable in the sun.
It had revolutionized her idea of where she would travel once she was done training and the First Order was destroyed. There was no doubt in her mind that Naboo would be the first place she would go. She had read about the crystal lakes, sandy beaches, gorgeous fields and meadows of Naboo – and now she wanted to see them. But it was only a dream so far, first she needed to get off this base and bring Luke back into the fold. Then there was the First Order that needed to be destroyed before she felt the Galaxy was safe enough to travel in. There was no way to know how long that would take.
Everyday she thought about Jakku and her family, but everyday the idea of returning to her home planet became bleaker and bleaker. Maz had been right, he family was never returning to Jakku, Rey had known for a while – she would need to seek them out herself. Waiting for them wasn't the answer.
Rey spent all her morning meditating, and it helped to calm her. Thinking about her family always worked her up and made light amounts of pain surface – and Kylo had told her pain could turn into hate. There was no way she could allow hate to linger, that would bring her closer to the Dark Side. She focused on meditating to forget her pain.
It was late afternoon when Kylo Ren appeared for their training. The door opened with a hiss and it disrupted her meditation. Rey looked up to see Kylo looming over her. He had his hood up, which cast a dark shadow over his already ebony helmet. This time he roughly grabbed her arm and pulled her up.
"Get your hands off me," Rey roared. Angrily, she tried to shake his grip from her, but it was futile. Kylo was not going to let her go.
"We are leaving, now." Kylo said harshly. This time Kylo had a Stormtrooper entourage with him, as he dragged Rey down the hallway. Viciously, Rey tried to fight him, she tried throwing herself on the floor like a temperamental child. Her acting as a dead weight did nothing, Kylo kept dragging her as he went – he was much stronger than she initially believed.
Rey watched in horror as they passed the training room and were instead going straight to the interrogation block. He was going to ask for the map now, that heartless bastard had trained her two days and was already going to demand her only valuable secret. Rey fought him again with a new vigor – this time she tried biting his gloved hand, but that was to no avail either.
Finally they reached the interrogation cell she had previously been in. "Stay by the door." Kylo commanded to the Stormtroopers. Halfheartedly, Kylo shoved Rey into the interrogation room, and the door closed behind him.
Rey was about to spring on him, but Kylo stuck out his hand and froze her body in place. There was a hostile expression planted on Rey's face as he kept her stuck.
"Calm yourself." Kylo's synthetic voice hissed. "General Hux has noted I've not been bringing you to the interrogation rooms. He thinks I'm going soft on you because you're Force-sensitive or – a girl." There was a distinct way he said girl, as if he was choking on the word. "I can't have anyone thinking that I'm giving special treatment, otherwise Captain Phasma and all the female officers might get ideas."
Rey felt herself fighting his Force paralysis. Angrily, she started to move her fingers and her wrist twisted slightly. "You are still going to take the map from me now, aren't you?"
Kylo strutted around her – she could feel how focused he was on containing her in her current position. "I will be asking for the map but not yet."
Waves of relief washed over Rey like warm, soothing water. She knew the map was valuable, and that asset was the only reason she still lived. But it also remained the one reason she was here, and not dead. If she hadn't seen the map, Kylo would have killed her back on Takodana. The map was proving to be her blessing and her bane.
"You still didn't have to be so rough." She retorted. It would be a lie if she didn't say her arm was still sore from his unceremonious treatment of her.
"You're my prisoner, I can't be too kind to you, and definitely not in front of the Stormtroopers."
"You can be kind to whomever you choose," Rey countered quickly.
What sounded like a dark, sadistic chuckle resonated from under his mask. "Do you think I got where I am by being nice? I don't have that luxury, kindness is a weakness. In time you'll discover that too."
Rey narrowed her eyes at him. Kindness was often the answer in her case. Being rude and cruel never got her anywhere in life, except a few punches swung at her. The people on Jakku had been callous and often times savage. The more humble and independent she had become, the more Rey had gotten accomplished.
"Today I was going to teach you how to push objects using the Force. But I don't think you'll need instruction. I sense you have great talent, you just need to become skilled at focusing your emotions." There was a momentary pause as Kylo stopped in front of her.
"I sense anger in you," Kylo muttered, softly. "You are upset with me."
"I'm not angry with you," she said between gritted teeth. It was more annoyance than anything. She was a prisoner in his custody, but he needn't treat her like a possession to be dragged around and manhandled.
Ren started to pace around her. "You're vexed with me, you feel you've been mistreated. As my student, you should draw from that aggression."
"Never," Rey hissed. "I will never use anger to my advantage."
There was a slight pause before Kylo spoke again. "Was it easy for you – when your family left you behind? I'm sure it was easy for them, they left you on Jakku and didn't even look back."
Rey felt her skin crawl as he used her memories as ammunition against her.
"Stop," she asked with venom in her voice.
"And your friend, FN– I mean Finn. It seemed like a simple decision for him to leave you behind as well. Not a drop of loyalty in that blood of his, and he didn't even look back when he left you either."
"Stop it." Rey tried to cease her blood from boiling. Again, she focused on her thoughts of compassion and forgiveness, but she could not shut out what Ren was saying.
"What about Han Solo, he didn't even come looking for you back on Takodana. He didn't care about some scavenger girl he picked up on his ship, he allowed you to be taken by me. You were just a liability to him anyways." Kylo leaned in closer to her, as if to emphasize what he was about to say. "Maybe you're just so used to being disappointed, you're immune to it now."
The way Kylo phrased it was despicable, and something in Rey snapped.
"Stop it," Rey screamed. Instantly she broke free from his paralytic Force technique. Her rage took over, and involuntarily she outstretched her hand. She could feel the Force pulsing from her palm as a shock wave was sent flying toward Kylo Ren.
In horror, Rey watched as Kylo was launched off his feet, almost like a rag doll; he was sent backward. Ren's back slammed against the interrogation room door. The anger that had once surged through her body was drained at the sight of Kylo clashing to the ground.
"I'm so sorry," Rey rushed over to help him. There was no excuse, she'd lost her temper and allowed his words to get under her skin. That had been his intention – Rey knew that, but she had fell right into his trap.
Without hesitation, Kylo got to his feet and stood up straight. Rey nearly bumped into him, she hadn't expected him to recover so quickly and she'd planned to help him up. Instead, he was looming over her and Rey felt fear creep into her body. There was a large amount of tension in his shoulders – she could even see it beneath his black robes. Rey saw his hand jut out and grasp her throat. Kylo's grip was like a snake constricting its prey.
"I'm sorry, please." Rey begged between tiny gasps of air. "I should have had better control of my emotions."
Terror set in as her vision started to blacken around the edges. There was a harsh realization that Kylo Ren might actually choke her to death – and with that came the harsh realization that she had caused her own demise. She had harmed the only man that was strong enough to destroy her.
"Please, Kylo." Rey gave one last conscious effort to appeal to Ren.
Her head started to spin, and the darkness around the edge of her vision began to close in. It wasn't until then did Kylo let her go of her throat.
There was nothing to stop her from falling to the floor as her feet gave way. Rey laid there for a second coughing and catching her breath. Then she looked up at Kylo's monstrous form, he hadn't moved. Kylo was hovering over her still, she couldn't imagine what he was thinking now. Maybe he was planning on all the exciting ways to finish her off. Rey looked back at the ground – his dusky helmet was making her stomach churn.
"I think our training today is complete," Kylo's robotic voice replied.
Rey couldn't agree more, even though very little had been accomplished. There was no other way to describe it – Rey was sickened by her own behavior. All morning she'd been meditating and it had all been for naught. In seconds she had allowed her anger to take over. Yes, Kylo had been trying to insult her and get under her skin, but she had known that. Yet still she'd fallen into his trap – he was trying to bring her closer to the Dark Side, and today he had succeeded.
Kylo pulled Rey to her feet, and again he escorted her out of the interrogation chamber. Her legs were like lead bricks as they walked down the halls. She felt tired and bested by Kylo – after all he'd coaxed her into allowing her anger to take over. The patrol of Stormtroopers followed them all they way to the prisoners block before Kylo Ren dismissed them. As usually, he brought her to cell 110, input the security code and shoved her in.
"I've missed my meal," Rey announced to him with a disheartened sigh. She only got one meal a day and since their training had been later Rey knew she had missed it.
"I guess you'll just have to go hungry, such a pity." Kylo said, his tone sounded sadistic.
Rey looked up at him with disgust in her eyes – now he was just being unnecessarily cruel to her. She may have attacked him, but that was the response Kylo had been trying to elicit from her. Ren had wanted her to retaliate. This was a much her fault as his, but she would be the one paying the price.
"Fine," she said coldly. To be honest, she wasn't hungry, if anything she was tired. Rey instantly went to her bed and laid down – purposely she left her back turned to him, staring at the wall was more pleasing than looking at his grotesque mask anyways. She heard the door close behind her, and Rey couldn't have been more pleased to be alone. All she could think of was what had happened, how she had allowed herself to lose control.
Was this how Kylo had turned to the Dark Side, Rey wondered. Did those feelings of abandonment, betrayal and neglect always plague him? Rey had become very adept at shutting those bad moments out. She always tried to look at things in a positive light – but if Kylo wasn't capable of that, she had experienced first hand how those emotions had turned him sour. If this was the pain Ren dealt with on a daily basis, Rey wasn't sure how he got by day to day.
She promised herself from now on she would control her emotions, she would bottle up her anger and put it on a shelf out of her reach. How could she be of any help if she allowed her anger to get out of hand? Kylo had used the past against her, but now she would never let it happen again.
[A/N]: Hey guys, thank you so much for reading the chapter, and for all the wonderful support. I feel very blessed to have such wonderful followers such as yourselves. If you have time, feel free to leave a review with your thoughts as to how you think the chapter went or how the story is progressing. Next chapter will be from Kylo's perspective and it will be very interesting, I promise you, you won't want to miss it. Again, thank you so much and have a wonderful weekend! :)