As Killian blinked his eyes open to see nothing but grey sky above him three thoughts occurred to him almost simultaneously: that the air in Storybrooke had never smelled so clean, that he much preferred being transported across realms with his memories intact, and that he was utterly alone.
He sat up quickly, barely sparing a thought for why he had been lying down in the first place, as he frantically looked around the small clearing he found himself in. Where it had only been the beginning of winter in Storybrooke it was deep into the throes in the land he'd been sent to. The snow was at least six inches deep beneath him and from the biting wind and the roiling mass of steel grey clouds over his head another storm was due shortly. Shivering he looked down at himself, certain that he had been wearing a thick winter coat, and was surprised to find that he was back in the clothes he had been wearing when he had been taken by Zelena's curse. The bloody cuff at the end of his left arm was a particularly chilling sight.
Standing carefully he surveyed the land more closely. The trees at the edges of the clearing were similar to those that flanked Storybrooke but somehow he could tell that there was something more to them, something older and far more alive. He slowly revolved on the spot, resisting the urge to shout out in hopes that someone else was calling for him instead and that Emma was the one doing it.
Torn between wanting to move in any direction in hopes of finding her and staying put to increase his chances of being found he started pacing the length of the clearing. As much as he didn't want to entertain the thought that he was miles from anyone else or not even in the same realm it became harder to do so as the minutes ticked by. He placed a well aimed kick at a snow drift to release his frustration that he'd barely had an hour with Emma before they had been torn apart again.
"There you are."
Killian spun towards the feminine voice, already knowing it wasn't Emma but unable to hide his disappointment when he saw that it was Red. Instead of the somewhat inappropriate Granny's uniform he'd become used to she was wearing a plain, faded blue dress and draped over her shoulders was her vibrant red cloak, which made her easily discernible amongst the trees she was standing under.
"Where's Emma? Where are we? The lad, is he okay?" He asked in quick succession, a sense of panic beginning to overtake him.
"She's fine, sent me to get you actually," Red answered shortly as she motioned for him to join her. He quickly strode to her side and she set off as soon as he reached her, making him jog a little to keep pace, "We came back a mile or so away from here but with Marty needing to be healed and all the confusion of coming back I was the only one who would find you quickly."
"Coming back? Where the devil are we?"
"Can't you feel it?" She asked, casting him a meaningful glance that seemed closer to a glare, "I mean, I can smell it but that's just from being in touch with my wolf again but I can feel it too."
"Feel what?" He asked, bewildered.
"That we're home."
He mulled that over as they moved through the woods at a steady clip. He had a multitude of questions he still wanted to ask but his desire to see Emma was too great. When he increased his pace Red easily matched him, guiding him in the right direction.
It took nearly half an hour of wending their way through the trees before they approached what seemed to be the edge of the forest. They'd been forced to slow their pace multiple times to move around large broken branches and fallen trees. The destruction reminded Killian of the cleanup that had been needed in Storybrooke after the hurricane that had taken his hand. With a stuttered step he remembered that he'd really lost his hand to a madwoman and realized with a tinge of annoyance that his false memories were more fixed in his mind than he'd realized.
Killian was drug out of his thoughts by the shout of his name and someone running toward him from across a wide field. He barely had time to breathe out Emma's name before she was slamming into him, wrapping her arms around him like a vice.
"I thought I lost you again," she half sobbed into his neck.
"And I you, love, but I'm here, we're here, together," he whispered. He placed a light kiss against her temple before he pulled back, "Did the others make it back as well? Your father?"
She shook her head, "Only Red, Roland, Marty and I ended up here. I wanted to find you but Marty was barely hanging on. Red promised to find you first and then the others while I stayed to heal him."
"You have your magic back then?" He asked even as he could see Marty talking to Roland over Emma's shoulder. With a jolt he remembered their last moments in Storybrooke as he stepped around Emma and frantically scanned the field, "The Dark One? Where is he?"
"We don't know," she whispered, as though speaking aloud would conjure him to their sides, "but if I have my magic back then he does too."
Killian once more looked across the field but with a more assessing gaze. They were fully exposed, their darker clothing easy marks atop the pristine white snow. Even if they moved to the cover of the trees an attack from the Dark One would catch them unawares no matter how much they prepared. He was about to say as much when he noticed a small grouping of people heading their way from the east.
"We've got company, Swan," he said grimly, stepping to her side as she turned to look for herself.
The destruction of the curse had not only seen fit to return him to their realm in the clothes he had left in but without any form of weapon on his person. He silently cursed that the sword he'd had in hand in Storybrooke as well as the gun he had habitually kept tucked in the waist of his jeans at the small of his back had vanished. Pushing away the thoughts of exactly why he'd always had to keep himself armed he focused on the five or so people making their way towards them.
"Daniel!"
Much like Emma had sprinted into his arms, Roland launched himself across the field with a speed that surprised him. One of the figures broke away from the group and Killian smiled as he recognized Turner. His smile turned to one of puzzlement as Turner himself began to run, straight into Roland's arms.
"Huh," he said in wonder, averting his eyes from the emotional reunion the two men were engaged in.
"What? Too shocking for you?" Emma said as she turned to him with an amused quirk of her brow.
"Hardly," he scoffed. "It was no secret where Turner's preferences lie. I'm only surprised he's gone and fallen for a known thief and rabble rouser."
Emma snorted, "Rabble rouser? I forgot how straight laced you could be."
Killian knew that she only meant to tease but he felt his smile melt away all the same. He had not been a good man under Zelena's curse, hadn't even cared about being such a thing until Emma had arrived in Storybrooke. What was even worse was that he couldn't be quite sure which of his evil deeds had merely been false memories and which had actually transpired while cursed. Guilt and shame coursed through him as he tried to focus back on the situation at hand.
The others in Turner's group had come close enough for him to recognize as they continued walking towards them. Robin and Little John led the way while the woman, Grace, that had come along with Emma and two teenagers, a boy and a girl, followed closely behind. To his shock Regina was bringing up the rear, looking disgruntled not only with her company but with her surroundings.
"I never thought I'd say this but I'm glad Regina is here now," Emma said with a slight shake of her head. "She'll have a better idea what to expect from the Dark One."
"Clearly anything if he's willing to stab a teen and then murder a woman without blinking an eye," Killian growled. He frowned as a thought occurred to him, "Did Zelena's body not make the trip?"
"If it did it's not here," Emma said grimly. She tilted her head towards the approaching group, "Come on, we need to figure out what to do."
She took his hand in hers as she led the way with Marty trailing behind. As they approached he watched as Roland seemingly introduced Turner to his father. He shook his head with a small smile at the rigid posture Turner had adopted as Robin sized him up. When Robin pulled him into an exuberant hug Killian couldn't help but laugh along with everyone else as they joined them.
"I don't know about you but it's good to be home," Robin said as he took a deep breath in through his nose with a satisfied smile. He then turned and caught sight of Marty causing his jovial countenance to darken, "You've just had a very close call and I'm glad you're alive but from what I've seen and what's been told to me the blame can only be placed on you. I cannot have someone with such a distinct lack of discipline in the Merry Men-"
"But Uncle Robin-"
"But nothing," Robin snapped, cutting him off. "You almost died, Martin, and brought who knows what kind of vileness into the world. For what? To prove yourself? That cannot stand. When we return to Sherwood Forest you will no longer be welcome among the Merry Men or be privy to their secrets. Understood?"
"That's not fair! I just wanted to be treated like an adult," Marty pleaded. He looked frantically at Roland who was looking on impassively, "I was just trying to help."
Killian shifted uncomfortably on his feet and could see those not affiliated with the Merry Men doing the same.
"If you want to be treated as an adult then accept the consequences of your actions and be thankful we're not digging your grave," Robin said, unmoved. "You will remain by my side at all times until we're reunited with your parents. You will also be the one to tell them what's happened. Do you understand?"
"Yes, sir," Marty whispered, his gaze fixed on his boots.
With a dizzying sense of dejavu he remembered a time that Robin had similarly dressed him down, not long after he'd moved to Storybrooke. He had knicked a small fortune from Gold's shop to impress Deb and it had been bad luck that deputy Archer had been walking down the street when he'd backed out of the shop. While he hadn't been formally arrested Archer had forced him to perform three months of community service under his watch and had kept a wary eye on him ever since.
Emma squeezed his hand tightly, bringing him out of the thrall of his false memories. He shuddered at how real they still felt causing Emma to shuffle closer to him and begin rubbing her hand over his arm, clearly believing he was affected by the cold. Greedy for her closeness and unwilling to sully their second reunion he didn't have the heart to tell her the truth.
"Good," Robin said grimly. He shifted his gaze back them, "Do we need to worry about the Dark One coming for him?"
"I-" Emma shook her head slightly, "I don't know."
"For the irresponsible teen? No," Regina broke in, shouldering her way to stand across from them and focused on Emma. "You on the other hand he won't idly sit around waiting for a perfect moment to attack. Actually, I'm surprised he hasn't ripped out your heart and crushed it already."
"As usual, Regina, your lack of compassion is astounding," Killian growled.
"I'm only stating the obvious-" she sniffed. "If the Dark One hasn't shown up by now, especially with the zero morals he's operating on, then he's either biding his time coming up with a far more devastating plan or he's incapacitated in some way. Let's just hope it's the latter."
"We can hope all we want but we'll need to devise a strategy for an impending attack," Turner advised. He looked to him and Emma and bowed his head slightly, "Only if you feel that's the right course of action, Captain. Your Highness."
Killian started at the address. He felt unworthy of the title and even less worthy of making any decisions himself. Luckily Emma didn't seem to feel the same way. She nodded slowly and bit her lip in thought.
"Regina, did Zelena mention anything about the dagger that can control the Dark One?"
"I asked her about it but she said she'd never found it," Regina answered, her lip curling with distaste. "The idiot crushed his heart without getting leverage on him first and she called me the inept one."
"It wasn't in his shop either," Marty said quietly. They turned to him and he looked up briefly before dropping his gaze back down, "I rifled through most the shop when I got Zelena that jewel. She said if I found a wavy edged dagger with a name on it to grab that too. I didn't see it."
"Doesn't mean it wasn't in a safe or at his home," Robin pointed out. "Can it really control him?"
"Completely," Regina confirmed. "Whoever has the dagger has the Dark One at his beck and call and he can't do anything to fight it's command. I don't know what's worse, a loose Dark One or one who could be under the control of anyone under the sun."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, we're getting ahead of ourselves here," Roland interrupted. He looked off to the west and then overhead, "It's going to get dark sooner rather than later, we need to find someplace to hole up and I hope this storm that's coming in holds off until we do."
Killian looked up and noticed that the clouds were much darker than they had been when he'd woken up. The wind was also beginning to pick up as the looser snow underfoot began to swirl around their feet.
"Does anyone know where we are?" His question was met with frowns and shaking heads. "Then we best move under the shelter of the trees. There's plenty of fallen branches and trees to start a fire and perhaps build something to keep the worst of the storm at bay."
"Just have the princess conjure up something," Regina drawled. "She obviously has her magic back if the kid is still alive."
"What?" Emma asked startled. He wasn't quite sure but he thought he could feel her hand start to tremble in his, "Why can't you do it?"
"Because of this-" Regina held up her arm where a plain leather cuff was wrapped around her wrist. "I'd be more than happy to fill this whole field with weather proof tents and cozy two person cots if you'd take this thing off of me."
"No," Killian said quickly.
The memories of the days of fighting they had endured over the very same subject came rushing back. He was just as opposed to it as he had been when they had been sequestered in Regina's palace trying to decide how to proceed against Zelena. A wave of shame washed over him as he also recalled how the tensions over what to do with Regina had been the first domino to fall in the events that had led up to Zelena casting the curse.
"I agree with him," Robin said, pulling him out of his thoughts.
"Who cares about your opinion?" Regina snarled, turning to face him.
"I'm with Killian," Grace chimed in, stepping slightly in front of the teens beside her.
"As am I," Turner said firmly.
Roland and Little John nodded in agreement without hesitation.
"This isn't up for a vote," Regina stated haughtily. She looked at Emma with an arched brow, "You'll need my help when the Dark One comes and you know it."
Emma looked torn. Killian forced himself from trying to influence her decision. When he'd fought with her over the decision the last time he'd ]pushed her away completely and nearly lost everything. He never wanted to have any cause to be separated from her again, even if it meant Regina having magic once more.
"You're right Regina," Emma said softly, squeezing his hand once more, "I'll need all the help I can get when he comes-"
"Finally, someone sees some reason," Regina crowed. She held out her wrist towards Emma, "If you please."
"I said when he comes and he's not here now," Emma continued. "I'm sorry, Regina, but I can't remove that cuff."
"Need I remind you that I helped you in Storybrooke?" Regina hissed.
"When it suited you to do so," Emma pointed out. "Once you had the chance you retreated back to your cabin. You've also never really said that you're over your stupid feud with my parents. Prove to us that we can trust you, really trust you, and the cuff comes off."
"I'm being treated no better than that child over there," she complained instead of addressing Emma's concerns.
"Unlike him you're free to leave if you so choose," Killian spoke up, finally unable to help himself.
The color drained from Regina's face, "I'm second on that giggling imp's list for payback and without my magic-"
"You'll be left to his admittedly non-existent mercy," he said with a shrug. "Help us and earn the right to have that cuff removed or don't and see how you fare against the Dark One."
Regina opened her mouth, seemingly to begin a new tirade, when she snapped her mouth shut instead. With a scowl she folded her arms over her chest and stalked away from them towards the woods. Killian sighed quietly in relief, knowing that his temper would have eventually gotten the best of him.
"I guess I'll need to create some tents or something," Emma murmured in what he believed was an attempt at a joking tone. The way her hand tightened around his said otherwise.
"Give it a go and if nothing happens we can always hunker down in the woods for one night," Killian said encouragingly. "You just got your magic back, there's no need to fret if they're not the Barbie Dream House."
"Barbie dream house?" She asked, turning to him with confusion.
"Er, it's a dollhouse from the land without magic," he explained as he rubbed the back of his neck with his blunt wrist. He was struck by the realization that she'd had no clue how anything in the modern world worked and he'd only barely noticed, "It, uh, came with an elevator I believe."
"That moving room? Why would a doll need that? Why would anyone need that? Aren't stairs good enough?" She huffed, annoyed.
"Not when you have more than three stories to climb, love," Killian said with a chuckle. "How about you try for a simple tent first."
"Fine."
Emma closed her eyes, her annoyance still clear in her features as she concentrated. He couldn't help but rub his thumb across the back of her hand in encouragement as the others watched with breathless anticipation. The moment the tension in her shoulders relaxed she flicked her right hand and the field around them filled with white, pearlescent smoke. As the smoke began to clear he took in what Emma had done and had to blink twice to believe what it was that he was seeing.
All around them were nearly a dozen small wooden huts. They looked roughly hewn but solid, sap seeping from the freshly cut wood. The others were gasping in awe and appreciation while he merely stood agog, marvelling at her power. When he looked down at Emma he saw that she still had her eyes closed, face scrunched as though awaiting a volley of complaints.
"Are they terrible?" She asked meekly, turning toward him blindly. When he didn't say anything right away her face fell, "They are. I'll get rid of them."
She raised her hand again and Killian quickly pushed it down with his left wrist.
"Perhaps you should look at them first, love," he said encouragingly.
"Fine."
He couldn't help but chuckle at the drop of her jaw when she opened her eyes. She looked all around them with awe and a light flush of pink in her cheeks. When she looked back up at him he was surprised to see a flash of fear in her eyes.
"Swan?"
"Later," she whispered with a shake of her head. She turned to the others, "Since I guess we're staying here for the night we'll need firewood and to find something to eat."
"We'll handle the hunting," Robin said gesturing to Little John and Roland with a smile.
"And we can gather the wood," Grace added, setting her hands on the teens' shoulders.
"Don't go too far, we don't know what might be out there," Emma cautioned, "And if you see Red or anyone else you recognize send them this way since there's plenty of shelter to go around."
"Where is Ru- er- Red?" Killian asked, suddenly aware that he hadn't seen her since reuniting with Emma.
"Probably tracking down Granny or my dad," Emma said, unconcerned. "She knows where we are and even if I hadn't asked she would have gone after them anyway."
"Why?"
"They're her family," Emma said with a matter of fact shrug. "Speaking of which-"
She raised her free hand and almost immediately four identical glittering birds appeared in her palm. As the flew away she squeezed his hand, giving him a soft smile.
"And where are they off to?"
"To tell my mother, Elsa, Liam, and Marty's parents that we're back and safe. They deserve to know as quickly as possible," she said quietly.
"Thank you, love," he whispered, pressing a kiss to her hair, "Liam probably has enough on his plate and now he won't have to worry so much about me."
"He'll always worry about you," she chastised gently. "He was really mad at me for your disappearance."
"Swan, if he said anything-"
"I can handle myself and we worked it out eventually," she said with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. She tugged on his hand, "Come on we should help everyone set up."
As they moved around the impromptu campsite two things became apparent to him. The first was that Emma didn't want to leave his side. No matter where he went she was with him, if not holding onto his hand then only a step or two away. He didn't mind, couldn't really when he felt the same urge.
The second was that she seemed to be avoiding something. She was constantly moving from the woods to the huts she had conjured to the far side of the field where they had found a small stream and then back. More often than not he caught her clenching her hands into fists at her side as she subtly scanned the horizon. When she noticed him watching her she'd give him a fake smile and move on to another part of the camp, pulling him along with her. If she hadn't gone to such great lengths to keep him at her side he'd worry that it was something he'd done.
Unfortunately there was plenty to do to keep them both busy. Regina had yet to return from the woods but Robin assured them that she was still there, moping as he put it when he brought a few rabbits he'd snared back to the camp be cleaned. The larger branches that Grace and the teens he'd been told were her children had to be stripped and broken apart by hand seeing as how none of them had an axe. In the same regard they'd had a hell of a time figuring out how to collect water from the stream to bring back to camp. It had only been after a pointed comment from Roland that Emma reluctantly conjured a bucket, her hand trembling in his for several minutes after.
Before he could pull her aside to ask her about it Red returned with at least a dozen more people that he recognized from Storybrooke, including Granny and David. For the first time that afternoon she left his side without hesitation as David opened his arms wide to gather her into a hug. He hung back, as he had when they'd reunited in Storybrooke, and wasn't surprised when she chose to show the newcomers around the camp instead of immediately returning to his side.
"It is good to see you again, Your Highness."
"You know you can just call me by my name," Killian sighed, turning slightly to look at Turner who had snuck up on him.
"If we were in Storybrooke perhaps, but we're back, not in our own kingdom of course, but back nonetheless and here you are a prince," Turner pointed out. He rocked on his heels as he seemed to choose his words, "I know we're... settling here for the night but I could set off for Balliolshire come morning to announce our return. If you so wish it. Sire."
"God, no," Killian said aghast. "We've just returned and we have no idea where we are, let alone how long it would take to reach Balliolshire. Emma's already sent one of her messages to Liam. That's enough for today at least."
Turner seemed to visibly sag in relief, even as he remained standing at attention, "Very good, Your Highness. We should send out a small scouting party tomorrow to determine where, exactly, we are."
Killian opened his mouth to tell Turner that he didn't give a damn what they did the next day when he realized that such decisions would be expected to be made by him. In Storybrooke he'd only been beholden to himself and he'd very much been motivated by his drive for revenge. He could feel himself flushing in shame as he reached up to scratch behind his neck.
"Aye, that… that's a good plan."
Turner stayed silent as Killian sought out Emma. She was leading David around the camp, her arm threaded through his, pointing out what they'd accomplished since they'd decided to stay. As he watched she looked over to him and gave him a wide smile.
"I have to say, Sire, I didn't understand it at first," Turner said quietly.
Killian nearly rolled his eyes at the address but was curious as to what Turner was getting at, "Understand what?"
"When Liam ordered me to accompany Captain Swan he did it as much for his peace of mind that someone he could trust would be of aid as well as to determine how true her feelings were for you," Turner said instead of directly answering his question. He dropped his head, "You see he and, I admit I, had already decided that she was selfish, rash, ill-mannered, and unfit for the crown she is to inherit. Worst of all, we believed that she only cared for you because you had been taken and not because she truly loved you. I've never been so relieved to be proven wrong."
Killian took a deep breath, trying to keep his temper in check. He knew that Liam didn't fully approve of Emma or know the true depths of his feelings for her but he hadn't seen or communicated with his brother since they'd parted ways in Senlikli. With a pang he realized that all Liam would have seen was that he'd entangled himself once more with a woman whose motives were circumspect at best.
"What changed your mind?" He asked, barely able to keep himself from growling out the question.
"She did, of course," Turner said as though the answer was obvious. "First as my captain and then as the woman trying to do everything she could to bring back the man she loves. She has experienced far more frustration and heartache than one such as her should in the past few months alone but she never wavered. Seeing how you behaved around her, even without your memories of her, I knew then that we had been mistaken. I wasn't surprised that together you broke Zelena's curse."
Turner's words left him speechless. It had always been a trial to get Turner to speak his mind, let alone his honest opinion, so trained was he from an early age to give a tempered response to his superiors. Liam had had to command him to be frank with him but Turner had never extended the courtesy to him. He felt a sharp spike of longing for Thompson and how he'd never minced his words or his true feelings.
A sudden shroud of despair settled over him and he found himself looking around desperately for a glimpse of Emma. He'd barely been able to mourn for Thompson before the curse had taken him and he'd spent the entirety under its spell seeking vengeance for his murder. He didn't feel as though he deserved the honor of True Love with Emma, not with the man he had been under the curse and even the one he'd been immediately after Thompson's death.
The maelstrom of emotions he was feeling was almost too much for him to bear. It was as though everything the curse had suppressed or amplified was haunting him all at once. With a shudder his desire to see Emma twisted into the desire to avoid her, to keep his shame from somehow tainting her.
"Sire?"
Killian startled slightly and saw Turner regarding him worriedly.
"Emma's ability to change a person's opinion of her is terrifying to behold," Killian said with as much humor as he could. Turner's brows lifted in surprise and he scrambled to keep him from questioning him further, "Would Roland and his father be willing to be part of our scouting party tomorrow?"
"I suppose…" Turner said with a frown. "Although I'm not sure Robin will be so willing to allow Marty to go along. Will Little John be an acceptable alternative?"
"If he knows the woods as well as Robin does then yes. See if Rub- er, Red is up to it as well," Killian said with as much authority as he could muster.
"I will, sire."
"We'll leave an hour after dawn. That should give us time to cover plenty of ground before having to return here before dark if needed," he continued, feeling more and more like an imposter.
"Of course," Turner said, nodding even as his frown remained in place. "Shall I also ask Captain Swan if she'd like to join us?"
"She might want to stay here with her father to catch up as it were," Killian hedged. He then gave Turner a frown of his own, "Why is it you call her 'captain' and not by her royal address?"
"As it stands she's more of a captain than a princess at the moment, in both the circumstances of her past and her personal preference. It should also be noted that she's both willing and able to take up her sword to convince even me to use 'captain' as her title," Turner said with what seemed to be begrudging respect.
"I could command you to drop the title, you know," he grumbled.
"You could but unfortunately for you, Your Highness, it's a command I'm never going to obey-" Turner smirked and half turned towards the now bustling camp where a small group, including Roland and Little John, were surrounding the fire, "Shall I inform the others of our plan?"
"Uh, yea- yes," he stuttered, thrown off by the near cheekiness of Turner's retort.
Turner bowed his head slightly before stepping away but seemed to hesitate when he caught sight of Emma and David joining those at the fireside. Killian fought to keep an unaffected mask in place as he turned back and regarded him closely.
"I may not know what thoughts are weighing you down but I recognize the look of self loathing in your eyes," Turner murmured, his gaze full of reproach, "You are a good man, Killian, don't let that bitch's curse have you believing otherwise."
With that Turner turned on his heel and moved towards Emma and the others, leaving Killian awash with disbelief watching him go. His stupor was only broken when Emma looked to him with a furrowed brow as Tuner spoke to those at the fire. He watched as she leaned over to speak to David and began to walk the perimeter of the camp when she stood. As much as he craved her nearness he knew needed to compose himself first so she wouldn't suspect something was wrong as easily as Turner had.
Emma caught up to him at almost the exact moment he noticed Regina watching the goings on at the camp from the edge of the woods.
"Do you suppose she's over there plotting against us?" He asked, hating himself for already pushing the conversation away from his troubles.
"Maybe," Emma hummed thoughtfully, looking out towards Regina. "She said she wanted to prove she had changed but Turner was suspicious about where she disappeared to the times she went ashore when we were anchored in that cove. Once we docked at the harbor she was off like a shot, back to avoiding Zelena. That's mostly why I agreed with you to keep the cuff on. We can't trust her if she keeps running off to do her own thing when she feels like it."
Killian winced, wondering if the comment was meant for him as well.
"Whatever it is she's thinking about doing, or not doing, doesn't worry me too much-" she continued, turning back to him with a troubled frown, "Turner said you want to take a scouting party out tomorrow?"
"Aye, though it was his idea. Figure out the lay of the land, see if we might find others or perhaps discover a clue as to which kingdom we've found ourselves in-" he rambled, helpless to stop himself.
"Okay," she said slowly, "but then why are you the one leading it? I thought you- I hoped we would have a chance to talk about… everything."
"Oh, Swan," he breathed out, pained that he'd already hurt her and it had only been less than a day since they'd been reunited. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her temple, "We won't be going far, four maybe five miles, just enough to discern where we are. We'll be back before you could even begin to worry."
"I won't have to because I'm going with you," she said stubbornly as she pulled out of his embrace to glare up at him.
He loved her all the more for her consternation even as he balked at the idea of having to explain his feelings of inadequacy to her when she noticed something was amiss with him. As he looked at her, trying to come up with the words to discourage her from joining him he saw a shadow of something pass behind her eyes. It mirrored his own self doubt and guilt so completely that he felt a chill settle in his bones that had nothing to do with the bite of the winter air around them. With as genuine of a smile as he could muster he nodded in acceptance, knowing he would suffer a thousand deaths before leading her to believe she had done something wrong.
However, he couldn't help but make one final attempt at keeping her at arm's length, "Will your father be alright letting you out of his sight?"
"Probably not. I think he's having a hard time realizing I'm not sixteen-" she gave a melancholy sigh, "or that much of a princess anymore. It doesn't help that the curse gave him memories of my mother but none of me."
"Well, Zelena did try her best to ensure that we were all miserable and remembering you in any capacity would have negated that, Swan."
"I doubt that," Emma said with a dismissive scoff, "Zelena was probably being nice for once. Dad probably would have just thought of me as some annoying girl who had pulled a cat's tail or something and you would have remembered me as someone who broke your heart worse than Deborah or whatever her name really is."
"Jaqueline," he growled but quickly shook off his ire with his twice over ex to disabuse Emma of the notion in her head. "There's no curse or potion or realm where I could ever think of you in the same capacity as her. I don't think you realize how much I came alive when I met you at the docks, love."
"You were just happy to see a pretty face," she teased even though he could hear the vulnerability in her words.
"I'll admit you intrigued me more than anything but there was something about you, something more, and for the first time I wanted to be included in whatever it was that had me feeling that way about you. You're a rare woman, Emma."
Emma ducked her head, a blush spreading across her cheeks. Killian felt a grin pulling at his lips at the sight. While he knew he wasn't yet able to tell her everything he felt about his year under the curse she deserved to know that much. He was fairly certain that if she had not arrived in Storybrooke when she had that he would have slid into the tempting depths of villainy completely, blackening his soul. As it was he felt tainted, as though a shadow was hanging over him waiting for the opportune moment to enshroud him completely.
"Alright, enough with the compliments," she said, lightly digging her elbow into his side before wrapping her hand around his. "Come on, supper should be ready by now."
"You go ahead, love, I'll go and tell Her Majesty soup's on," he said nodding towards where they'd seen Regina earlier, even though she was nowhere to be found.
"Soup? There's no soup, they were roasting rabbits..." Emma said confusedly, looking in the direction of the fire.
Killian laughed in spite himself, "It's merely a turn of phrase from Storybrooke, love. It just means that the food is ready."
"Oh-" Emma grinned and he somehow felt lighter for it, "Want me to come with you?"
"It'll take but a minute, Swan. No need to deprive your father from your presence even more now that you'll be accompanying us tomorrow," he said, gently nudging her towards the center of camp.
"You know he's going to want to come too," she pointed out, walking backwards as she spoke.
"Of that I have no doubt," he shot back.
Emma's laughter followed him as he made his way towards where he'd seen Regina last. As he walked closer he saw her dark head of hair moving slightly from behind a large fallen tree, bobbing to and fro in a somewhat agitated manner. Going round the protruding roots he saw that she had made a small camp of her own with several broken branches leaning up against the tree's trunk with pine boughs layered on top of those. It was a pitiful attempt at a lean-to that Killian knew wouldn't hold up to the winds that had been growing stronger and would fare even worse against the snow that had begun to fall steadily around them.
Despite not having made any attempt at being stealthy Regina hadn't turned at the sound of his approach. She was hunched over, her shoulders moving vigorously, as she muttered what sounded like colorful curses under her breath. When he drew close enough he looked over her shoulder and stifled a laugh at the sight of her trying to start a fire with nothing more than a twig she was spinning between her palms that was digging a groove into what looked like a damp piece of bark. He'd heard multiple warnings over the years of how the Evil Queen could conjure a fireball with just a slight twist of her wrist and to see her desperate, rudimentary attempts at creating a single ember had him feeling almost sorry for her.
"You know there's a perfectly good fire just back yonder," Killian drawled, hooking his thumb into the belt around his waist.
"And have to share it with you sanctimonious hypocrites? No thanks," she snapped sounding unaffected despite the small jump she'd made at the sound of his voice.
"Hypocrites? How do you figure that Kooks?"
Regina stiffened as Killian's hand dropped to his side in shock. The nickname had slipped out of his mouth without thought, Cuckoo Regina, Kooks for short, the mad woman from the woods. It had started as a whisper between children when Regina had walked past the park or the schoolyard, it had spread easily to the parents and teachers watching over them and quick as a spark on gasoline it had spread across Storybrooke within hours. From that day forward it was an insult hurled at her by malicious teens and whispered behind her back by gum-flapping gossipers. At least that's how Killian remembered it happening.
She stood slowly and turned to face him. There was color high on her cheeks and her eyes were glittering with something that could have been hurt but he knew to be something far more vindictive.
"Does she know?" Regina sneered.
Killian's heart seemed to stop before beating double time, "Know what?"
"The kind of man you were back in Storybrooke?"
"We were cursed," he bit out, trying in vain to convince himself as well as her.
"True," she conceded but there was a malicious glint in her eyes, "Of course you should tell that to the people whose lives you ruined, Hook. You stand there, casting judgements on me when you should look in the mirror. I at least admit that I've done horrible things but you can't even bring yourself to think about what you've done, curse or not."
Killian could feel the blood rushing through his veins, the pounding in his head. Regina smirked, clearly feeling triumphant in her attack. She dropped the twig and brushed her hands together idly, dusting them off.
"I think I will join everyone at the fire-" she walked towards him and paused, leaning in slightly, "After all what's a bonfire without some good stories to tell around it?"
He stood immobile, shocked by the implications of everything she'd said. While he knew a few people would overlook what his cursed personality had done there were far more that wouldn't. He was standing atop a house of cards and it would only take the smallest puff of air to send him toppling down.
A.N.: Now that we're really getting into it a few things:
In the actual show I felt they just glossed over the whole 'cursed life' thing so I'm doing the opposite which will have the characters who were under the curse actually dealing with that duality instead of just reverting back to their pre-cursed personalities right away.
I had someone leave a comment that they couldn't continue reading because I said I was going darker with the story but they implied I'd be going right into the deep end with it and changing everything about the story just to do it. I'm not but it still won't be a rainbow and sunshine kinda ride.
Finally, I won't be pulling a season 6 and separating our beloved CS for a bullshit reason to create tension. They're very much in the trenches together but that isn't to say there won't be some tension and some secrets kept that won't have repercussions.
Next: A sad tale, a reunion, and an understanding.