Authors Note: Hello! Three drafts later and I have a new chapter. This one is confusing but very important so please enjoy.

Disclaimer: The Harry Potter world belongs to J. K. Rowling.

Cordelia stood there, the whole school watching her. There was nothing else to be done. She raised her wand and pointed it at James, convinced she could actually do it.

But could she?

Really?

Never had she felt so separated from herself before now.

How desperate was she to gain revenge?

Three weeks before

Cordelia shivered. For the umpteenth she rubbed her arms, and when that didn't work, jumped up and down to get the blood flowing. Merlin, Hazel Ivers better be bloody grateful.

It was the second day back at school and it was freezing. Cordelia had decided to be an amazing friend and wait for Hazel's quidditch practise to finish, mainly because Hazel was her only friend who was still talking to her without any complications. Out and in, she had told herself in relation to facing the weather. But, like all crazy people, James had decided to make his team fly later than usual. This brings us to where Cordelia was desperately sitting on her hands and cursing the Potter name to no one in particular.

In the middle of a rigorous running exercise Cordelia realised all the players had stopped flying and were looking right at her, or so she thought. She had about two seconds of humiliation until she saw that Professor McGonagall was standing behind her on the pitch.

"Professor!" said Cordelia, composing herself properly. "Are you looking for someone in the team?"

McGonagall tightened the scarf around her neck. "It's you I am seeking, Miss Bode. I have something very important to discuss with you."

"Oh?"

"Yes," said McGonagall, looking stern, but maybe a hint sympathetic though Cordelia couldn't fathom why. "I need you to see me in my office, after dinner preferably, and, if possible, separate Miss Ivers from her broom, bring her along too."

The professor left the very confused Cordelia standing alone on the edge of the playing field. She had thought at first something may have reached McGonagall about her correspondence with James' dad, surely the teachers would be the first ones they notified. But asking Hazel as well had thrown her into the dark. Cordelia clutched her pendant through the material of her shirt, almost subconsciously. She had been doing this a lot lately, it was a bad habit but whenever she had a dilemma, her mind instantly jumped to the time-turner conclusion.

"Hazel!"

Cordelia couldn't tell which one was her friend at this height but managed to receive some faces.

"Hazel, come down!" Her lips cracked as she spoke into the bitter wind. A moment later, not one, but all the brooms came down to earth. Two figures walked towards her.

"Hello Princess!" said James happily. "Were you watching me?"

Cordelia smirked, "Oh, yes. Every second not spent looking at you is a second wasted."

James grinned.

"No, I was here to pick up Hazel."

"Really? Because I swear I saw you trying to get my attention with the wacky dancing."

"Wacky dancing?" scoffed Cordelia. "Maybe you should turn the heat up if it's bothering you."

James opened his mouth to respond but was abruptly interrupted, "Stop flirting!" shouted Hazel, "Merlin, it's just getting ridiculous.

Cordelia and James blushed and turned away from each other, Cordelia chiding herself for not realising what she was doing, curse those bloody butterflies.

"What did McGonagall want?" said Hazel.

"She wants us to see her in her office before dinner today, must be important since she risked losing her fingers to come out here."

James spread his arms wide, as though embracing the weather. "Oh, come one, it's not that bad. It's actually quite nice."

"You've literally just been flying two seconds ago. We'll see who's laughing when you cool down," said Cordelia, smirking.

"Now, I'm usually not one to agree with James, but I think he has a point. You just have thin skin," said Hazel, picking at the edge of her broom. Cordelia shook her head, chuckling. They picked up their gear and the three of them headed towards the hall for dinner.

Cordelia piled her plate with any food that had a hot temperature, and there was a lot of it. She was very worried that the insulation in her body was failing her because of her time exposed to the elements.

"Slow down there, Bode," said Fred with a mouth full of bread. "You're a bigger eater than me!"

"Brilliant," said Cordelia dryly.

Cordelia suddenly remembered her brother saying the exact same thing on Christmas Day and a huge wave of homesickness overcame her, impairing her ability to breath and turning the voices into white noise. She put down her cutlery and tried to focus on her friends. She had them. For some reason this didn't work and Cordelia felt the tears coming.

But then, something strange happened. Cordelia felt someone slip their hand into hers under the table. When she looked up she realised that James was sitting next to her, smiling comfortingly. Cordelia abruptly returned to where she was. She was safe and she had James- friends, she had all of her friends with her. She returned the smile and squeezed his hand, taking relief in the safety of having him so close and so … there.

James leant down next to her ear and breathed some words, tickling her neck, "Let's go."

And for some reason, she did.

"Where are we going?" said Cordelia, trying to keep up with James' determined gait.

James paused at a broom cupboard on the second floor and opened it invitingly.

Cordelia blanched.

"Are you suggesting something?" Cordelia said, a bit unnerved.

"What, like having a snog in a cupboard? Get your mind out of the gutter, princess." He pulled her gently inside. "This will be much more sophisticated."

The space was compact and something was digging into her side painfully. It was not romantic at all, which, in Cordelia's mind, was a positive.

As he moved towards her lips Cordelia panicked, "STOP!"

James pulled back and looked at her, confused.

"James, I can't do this," she said, looking down at her feet so he couldn't see her flushed cheeks.

"What? But you wrote-," started James angrily.

She waited, "What? What did I write?"

James' hand made an instinct movement towards the pocket of his robes but then stopped himself. "Nothing … Cordelia, can you, for once not let everyone else control what you do."

"No."

James scowled at the answer, "And that's your final opinion."

"Yes."

"I don't understand you! I feel like I do but one minute you're saying you love me and the next … nothing!"

Cordelia gaped, "I'm sorry, when did I ever say I loved you?"

James' answer was interrupted by the door being yanked open to present …

Beatrice.

"What are you doing here?" said Cordelia and Beatrice at the same time.

"Nothing," they each answered.

Cordelia sighed, she was so sick of this awkwardness between them, they used to be best friends and now Cordelia didn't see her for days on end.

"Were you two snogging?" said Beatrice disinterestedly.

"Unfortunately not," said James, and with a scathing look at Cordelia he departed.

Cordelia ran an anxious hand through her hair. Merlin she had wanted to.

Beatrice turned her head slightly to follow his path and Cordelia caught sight of something she had hidden in her hands.

"BEA!"

Beatrice jumped. "What?"

But all Cordelia could do was stare at the horrifying 'D' on her friend's test results.

"How long have you been failing?" said Cordelia weakly.

Beatrice started to turn away but Cordelia grabbed her hand. "I said, how long have you been failing?"

"Longer than you'd think."

Cordelia's eyes widened and she ran.

Cordelia didn't stop trying to put distance between her and the empty shell called Bea until she got to the portrait hole. Five floors up, Cordelia stopped, hands on her knees and gasped.

Beatrice was destroying herself.

And it was her fault.

Something welled up inside her chest and Cordelia took a deep breath, instead of letting it out she screamed, the anguished cry of someone who realised that they couldn't save everyone, that nothing was perfect. Nothing would ever stay the same.

Unknowingly, like in all these situations, Cordelia clutched the time-turner and she suddenly felt a great sense of disorientation. The world spun out of focus and there were so many people all blurred, the light continued to change from dim to sunlit and back again.

The floor jolted and sent her into darkness.

It felt like the end of the world.

Cordelia woke up and looked around her, realising that, unlike when she had passed out previously, she had stayed exactly where she had fallen. How long had she been here?

She rose and let out a tragic sob, all she wanted was her bed and a strong memory charm. She still couldn't understand how you could go from loving someone to hating them in the space of a few weeks.

The corridor was quite deserted, even though it was dark, there was still at least 45 minutes until curfew. At the portrait hole, Cordelia opened her mouth to say the password but the Fat Lady let her in without question. Well, that was something to report later.

Cordelia, without any inhibitions, walked up the boys' staircases to see Henry. He would understand.

She knocked of the door of the sixth year dormitories and heard nothing. Tentatively she took the handle and guided herself into the empty room. She looked around nervously, afraid that James would turn up. On this thought, Cordelia gravitated absentmindedly towards James' bed because she was curious about what he owned. Did he save letters? Did he have photos? What was important to him?

But, the only thing on his bedside table was a list and a letter. She picked it up and read it quickly.

No, she thought, this is wrong!

But there it was, in clear black and white:

The girl is not unintelligent; you must not continue to pursue her so obviously. The strange result of that transportation you did has not helped the situation. No matter how many times she is struck down she will return, fiercer and stronger, natural stubbornness and courage combined with the power of space and time.

At the end there was a jagged edge, as though someone had ripped it off. She got the gist.

James knew. He knew. He wasn't the man she thought he was.

Cordelia nearly laughed as she remembered all the times they had fought that year. It was a laugh of relief, no more mystery or question of trust. Of course he didn't like her, she was just some nerdy prefect – he was the son of a war hero. But, if she knew that, then why did it hurt so much?

The letter creased as she dug her nails into the palms of her hands, wishing this wasn't real. But it was. The worst thing was that she had known all along that she couldn't trust anyone. And yet, it had never seemed so real as that moment when she had the evidence that someone she cared about was nothing more than an actor, playing in a larger game.

Cordelia squeezed her eyes shut and gasped, trying to breathe. And, for one shining moment, they had had something.

No more.

Once Cordelia had regained control of her emotions she walked down into the common room, head held high for all to see. As she walked over the last step she felt a warm feeling come over. The fire must have been roaring.

She placed herself down on an armchair and opened her bag, picking a book to distract her from the dread that had overtaken her. What was she supposed to say?

Of course, she could never tell him the actual reason because there was always the slightest chance he wasn't betraying her. Cordelia shook her head irritably, that thought was too painful. This had to be done whether she liked it or not.

For hours she sat there, immersing herself in the characters and plot she had always loved, that would never change.

"Cordelia?" said James, slipping into the seat opposite her. "I'm really sorry about how I acted."

Cordelia kept her eyes down, she felt sick. She tried to swallow her fear by telling herself off, she was being absolutely stupid; he was just a boy. And they weren't even dating!

"Cordelia?" repeated James. "Please say something."

With a resigned expression, Cordelia set down her book and turned to face him.

"James," said Cordelia slowly. "We've had a bit of a roller-coaster time this year, haven't we?"

James did not catch on and simply looked confused.

"I mean, you and me, we fight a lot."

A flash of realisation swept across James' face. "Are you breaking up with me?"

"No," said Cordelia quickly. "Because we were never together."

James snorted derisively and threw himself back in his chair.

"It's true!"

"Cordelia, just because you had no label for it doesn't mean we weren't together."

Cordelia clenched her fists and took a deep breath. "James, whatever you want to call it, I'm stopping it- no don't interrupt! We are too different."

"Does that matter to you?" said James heatedly.

"Yes!" exclaimed Cordelia. "It seems like every week we're not speaking. You're James and I'm Cordelia, not James and Cordelia together. You only need to look at our history to see that we are not a good pair. Before this year you only looked at me to annoy me."

"I always liked you," said James, picking at a hole in his trousers.

"What?"

James looked up from his slumped position, "I know I didn't show it, but I only annoyed so you would spare a glance at me. You were always so busy with school and trying to please everyone, I just wanted a bit of it, you know?"

The bloody butterflies had erupted in her stomach again. Cordelia held back her tears as she realised that what he was saying was false, he had made up this whole love story so that she would fall for him, and merlin, it had nearly worked.

Nearly.

"That might be," reasoned Cordelia. "But it wasn't as though we would have lasted if it had worked out."

James' head snapped up, "What?"

"Well, it wasn't as though we were going to get married." Cordelia was getting uncomfortable with the stare he was giving her.

"Why not?"

"Because … we would be a teenage couple. How many of those do you hear of that last?" Cordelia smiled bracingly.

"My parents did."

Her mouth fell open. Harry and Ginny, the most famous Hogwarts couple. Of course James would want to follow their footsteps, you would be hard put to find a happier marriage. "James, sometimes we just have to come to terms with the fact that we can't get everything in life. It'll be easy to forget me. You'll see."

James stood up, "No, it won't. Because you were so close to saying yes, I could see it. Cordelia … listen to this because it will be the last thing I say to you. You're so afraid of chaos and convinced you can live without love in your life, but you can't. If you would have got your head out of the ground for two seconds, I would have told you about all the times I looked at you and couldn't be with you and how much that hurt and how I thought that we could have been together for a long time. But I'm done now, because, for the last time, you are on your own."

Cordelia nodded solemnly, "Good … ah," she hastily wiped her eyes, "Yeah, this is exactly what I want."

"Fine."

Cordelia stood up and said quietly, "Goodbye James."

"Goodbye Princess."

It was horrible, but there was a sense of finality to it. After all their fighting, ups and downs, Cordelia finally had an answer to the offer that had been hanging in front of their relationship since that first day.

And Cordelia would tell herself this over and over again, and someday she would feel better.

But for now, she could sit in her special place and cry because she had lost something so … so important. Something full of possibilities.

Nothing but uncertainty in her future.

She had to clear her emotions.

But to do that, Cordelia had to stab herself in the heart.

Cordelia would never allow James to get to her again.

No more rolling her eyes when he was stupid, no more unquestionable trust when he had a plan, no more letters that said so much. It had all been a big joke. She could just imagine him laughing to himself because he had managed to get Cordelia Bode, renowned logical thinker and naïve soul, to pine after him.

Merlin she had been an idiot.

No more.

Cordelia woke up, it appeared she had fallen asleep on the armchair. She sat up and groggily scratched her head, knowing she had forgotten something.

McGonagall!

She rushed around, grabbing her things and spared a glance for the girls' dormitories. Hazel could be anywhere.

"Sorry professor, I-." Cordelia stopped talking as she burst into her heads office. There was someone else in there.

Professor McGonagall looked up from the documents she was reading and said tensely, "Sit down, Miss Bode."

Cordelia dropped herself into a chair, feeling very confused.

"Why am I here?"

"Miss Bode, I believe you recently sent a letter to the head of the Auror department."

"Yes," said Cordelia uncertainly.

"Well, matters of that nature are taken quite seriously. Mr Karkner is here to review your claim that you are in danger."

McGonagall peered at the man from under her spectacles. He cleared his throat and turned to face the young witch. "Cordelia, I believe your name was. Haven't we met before?"

Cordelia took a moment to recognise his face. Merlin.

It was like someone had filled her stomach with ice.

Not him.

She was going to die.

Authors Note: Boom! It probably seems as though Cordelia and James fight a lot and then get back together but I want to stress that this time it's deeper. Also, remember the short para at the start, it's important.