Class 3-Z Okikagu Fanfict
So… Hey guys… ^_^ll I know, I know I haven't updated for over a year. And I am very sorry about that. I am just terrible with time I guess you can say and I am just always caught up with other things. But hey, better late then never right?
Anyways, thank you for AllyKrau, Guest, Avrilayn, Guest, Guest, ChrisatoHachirobei, Aizzy Lockheart, AliNerFetari, Mary, chinasadistxxx, X-Crimson Fate-X, and Alexia Colette, ForgottenBlossom, el, yanicchi, Stupiiid, and cf for commenting! If it weren't for you guys I would probably have taken longer to write this to be honest.
Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama!
The redhead was smiling shyly as she was ambling back home in the dark. She wondered how long it has been since she left her house. Thirty minutes? An hour? Right now, the whole thing felt like a blur of seconds that passed by her. A rush of events one after another. It all felt so surreal. It really felt like a dream. She couldn't believe anything that had just happened. The sadist that use to be her worst enemy, her rival, her foe, is now her boyfriend.
Like an exotic dish, those thoughts sounded so weird, yet so great in her head.
She hummed happily and smiled to herself as she climbed up the nearby oak tree and jumped towards her half opened window and grabbed onto the white ledge with a quiet 'oof'. It really is like a romance from a book. Where at first a guy and girl hate eachother but then fall madly in love. Well, maybe it wasn't as lovey dovey but that's okay. It would feel weird if the Sadist was the mushy gushy romantic type like that. She likes that edge that he has. Even if it does occasionally (maybe all the time) piss her off. But it's fine because she knows that she can push his buttons as much as he can. Who knew she would live in such a fairytail? Well, maybe it's a bit more twisted than most… but she always had a fetish for those messed up stories.
She continued to grin to herself. The worst was finally over. No more confused feelings, no more uncertainty. She can now talk to the Sadist and know where he and her stand in eachother's hearts. She can now finally relax and feel free.
She can't wait to tell Anego and the other's.
With one loud heave, she pulled herself up and swung one of her legs through the crack. She was so concentrated on the floor and not falling she didn't look up. Suddenly a thought just hit her in horror.
Now that I think about it…
She slowly looked up and into her room as her heart quickly dropped. A drop of sweat slid down from her forehead.
Didn't I leave the window open all the way?
Her whole body froze as she saw two familiar guys standing in front of her. The one with the vermillion hair had his arms crossed as he kept his signature smile while the other with shoulder length hair calmly leaned against her door, looking uncomfortable.
Oh shit…
She couldn't believe it. She forgot the most important part. While she was celebrating this obstacle of realizing her feelings, she forgot the one who overlooks her, who takes care of her, who "always wants the best for her". She forgot the worst obstacle of all…
Man, this really is like a story from a book.
"Kagura," her brother said calmly, but she could hear the anger beneath his voice, "It's nice of you to finally come back."
She smiled awkwardly, "Aha, yeah…" she slowly placed her other leg through the window and softly landed on the carpet with two feet, "Well…" She began to walk to the door, even though Abuto was there she was already planning to kick the door open if she had to, "I think I'm going to go the the kitchen now."
As she passed her brother, he stopped her walk by firmly placing his hand on her shoulder. She immediately cursed in her head as she froze with his touch, "Where do you think you're going?"
She paused for a moment before she craned her neck halfway, "...I told you," she began, "To the kitchen."
His eyelids clenched down and his mouth curved upward furiously, a vein popping from his forehead, "To the kitchen…?" he kept the same smile, "So after all this time you have been gone, you want to go to the kitchen huh?" A mixture of an angry and fake chuckle croaked out of his mouth, "Ara ara it seems that we need to re-enforce your curfew."
She scoffed, "What? I don't need you to reenforce, I'm not a child."
"Eh? Well with how you are acting, it seems that you are nothing but a child, Kagura-chan. A child, a little bird that is always going into a pack of wolves," he tightened his grip on her shoulder, "And then the big brother bird always have to swoop in and save you again in the end."
"Nani?!" That was when she swung her body around, "I'm not a weak little girl you prison!" she pointed accusingly towards her big brother, "What wolves? What birds? You are just a big idiot brother with an even bigger sister complex!"
He continued to smile uncomfortably, "Yes, I do have a major sister complex."
She was taken aback, "What the hell? You're so creepy…! You know, I wouldn't be surprised if you came up behind me and molested me!"
He furrowed his brows, "Now, you know I would never do that."
Without listening to her brother's docile voice, she accusingly pointed at her brother in a shaking motion, "Stalker! Molester! Idiot creeper!"
He put his hands in front of his body, "Hey stop-"
She rapidly waved her arms, "HELP!" bellowed the little girl, "This guy is going to do incest on me and-"
"SHUT UUP!" the male redhead finally exclaimed. Suddenly there was a few moments of silence and with a disgruntled sigh he began to talk in a more aggravated tone, "Look at you…!" he began, "You're so irresponsible and childish I don't even know why I would think that you would come back home on time."
"Huh?" She cocked her head to the side, "What are you talking about?"
He groaned, "Oh geez… Do you even know how long we have been waiting?"
She frowned, unfazed by Kamui's talk, thinking that her older brother is just overreacting, like usual, "I don't know, thirty minutes maybe?"
"Thirty-?" He almost laughed as he looked at Abuto in shock, "Ha, thirty minutes? Are you kidding me?" he vigorously pointed at the clock, "It's 10:03 right now!"
Kagura's eyes widened in surprise. What…?
She checked the clock he pointed at her bedside to make sure that he wasn't joking, and just like he had said, it is 10:03pm. Right on the dot.
Wow, has it really been this long?
Maybe an hour she would feel that to be reasonable, but for it to be more than two? She couldn't believe it, especially since all they basically did was talk. Not walking around town or singing or whatever, not even physically fighting. Just talking.
She looked down and thought about their memorable parting…
…
The two of them finally let go of their hug, the warmth fading but not inside their hearts.
Kagura looked down, "Well, I think I better be going now."
He grabbed her arm, "Wait. Don't go just yet." he smirked, "I need to savor this moment. Making you finally realize everything is a pretty big accomplishment. Especially since how thickheaded you are."
She was taken aback by his comment and scoffed, even though in the back of her mind she knew he was right, "I am not thickheaded!" she shot back, "You're just terrible at telling a girl how you feel," she gave a knowing smug, "It's pretty embarrassing how inexperienced you actually are when in reality all you really know is how to make sensible girls throw things at you."
He raised a brow, "Really? Do you really think that?"
"Yeah."
"Are you sure? Because I'm pretty sure I just achieved an impossible task of wooing you."
She rolled her eyes, "Please, even Shinpachi could've done better than you."
The sadist ignored her remark and slid his hand that was on her arm down to her hand and smirked, "Do you really think that Shinpachi can do better?"
She immediately looked down and blushed from the sudden move. Even if they were together now it still makes her nervous, "Okay fine, then Hijikata," she mumbled.
"That dog food lover? Really?"
"Then the Gorilla."
"He stalks your friend you know."
She gave him a frustrated glance, "Fine, whatever. Well if it weren't for me you wouldn't have done anything right."
…
She grinned to herself. Wow, time really does fly when you're having fun.
"Oi," suddenly a loud voice interrupted her thoughts, "What are you smiling about?"
Her head twitched up before looking to her left, "...Nothing."
He looked her her a bit more grimly, "Nothing…" he began stiffly, "...you say…?" He neared closer to her, "Tell me, are you thinking about him?"
What?
Is he talking about who she thinks he is talking about…? "Huh? What are you talking about?"
But how… how could-
"Kagura," his voice sounded stern, and that's when she officially knew that she wouldn't be getting away with anything simply by going to the kitchen, "You can't run away now. I know everything about your little game with that guy."
Her eyes widened as her face fell in horror. So this really is not just a curfew issue or a sneaking out matter, "Wha..?" No way, how did he… "What are you saying?"
He sighed, "You don't need to hide it. Abuto told me," Kamui explained, sounding a bit annoyed, "There's been a rumor going around that you are having an affair with a certain guy."
The redhead twirled herself around, astonished. How is that possible? She just realized her true feelings a few hours ago so how can the rumors spread this fast? Are people just watching them for the fun of it or…
Her heart dropped when the realization hit her.
Oh right…
She couldn't believe that she forgot such a dangerous act.
We were a "couple" at school today…
How could that moment of her life just slip out of her head like that? Well, there has been a lot of crazy things going on. More specifically the events that happened not too long ago…
Shit. If she would've known that it would get to her stupid brother, she would have refused his offer of becoming his girlfriend for a day.
But then again, she wouldn't have been the sadist's actual girlfriend now if it wasn't for that.
She bit her lip. Things are finally going uphill for her, and she's not going to have this stupid ditch hole of a brother to ruin that for her. So she looked at him in the eye, hard, and opened her mouth.
"Yeah, okay, so what about it?"
She's willing to do anything to keep these feelings with her.
Her brother looked at her in surprise as his eyebrows furrowed for a second, "Hm…"
Even if it means to go against her overprotective brother. I will not lose anything that I have gained today.
Her brother was a bit drawn back for a moment. He thought that she would make an excuse about it like how she normally would, "... So you're saying it's true?"
She pierced her orbs into his, "Yeah," she bitterly spoke, "So what? It's none of your business."
Behind Kagura and in front of Kamui, a loud long whistle came from the vermillion haired boy's comrade. The brother looked up at his ally while the sister turned her upper body towards the man.
Abuto had an amused grin on his face, "Well well, lookie here. Your cute little chick of a sister is finally growing a pair of balls I see," he chuckles, "I guess this is what you call the teenage hormones kicking in."
Kagura gave him an odd look. She didn't like how he was describing her in such a way and relating her to a stupid yellow ball. But Abuto in a sense was right. All this time Kagura had always done what he wanted and what he said and followed what he thought. She was always compliant with his words. All this time she always thought that her brother's words were indubitable, that they were absolute. But now it is time to do what she wanted to do and not him. Because that is what she believes in.
But Kamui thought otherwise. He continued to smile apathetically with his eyes closed, "Shut up Abuto. Your comments are not needed right now," he said sweetly.
He began to stretch his arm without a care in the world. "Okay okay. I'm just the innocent bystander here."
"If you're such an innocent bystander you would give me the decency and let me out this damn room," Kagura spat.
Unwavered, he scratched the back of his head with his only hand, "Ohh sorry, little miss, I won't be able to do that."
She gave him a scowl before turning back to her "dear" brother, "Can you leave now?"
Kamui jerked his head back before replying head on, "Why? I still have some business to talk with you. We are still not done here."
"Well I think we are. I don't need you writing my story for me," she said, arms crossed, "It's my decision."
"Well I think you're making the wrong choice," he sternly warned.
"Well I don't care what you think, because like I said before it's none of your business."
"But it is my business...!" he insisted.
"Why?"
"Because I am your brother!" He shot back, "And considering I'm the one who has been raising you in place of mom I think I should get a say in something! I don't want to just idly stand by as you choose to trust that guy over me when I'm the one who has been feeding you, cleaning the house, and supplying the money while you go play with a guy who has just decided to spontaneously waltz into your life!"
Well when you put it that way...
She couldn't help but feel a small pang of guilt in her heart, but she kept her face still, "Technically its dad that brings the money."
"Well I actually pay the bills!"
She started to turn around solemnly, "Okay, whatever maybe you should go pay the bills now and leave."
Kamui, eyes furrowed, reached out his right hand in attempt to grab Kagura's shoulder, "Hey, I told you I'm not done here!"
But Kagura just flung her whole body around and slapped his pale hand away, "Well even if you aren't I am! No matter how long you stay or what you say or do you can never make me change my mind!"
There was a long silence after that. The brother just stood there, dumbfounded while the little one was breathing heavily, cheeks flushed from anger and frustration.
She couldn't help it, being this angry. But why couldn't he understand how much this means to her? How much struggle and confusion she had to go through to get to where she is now? It's like she finally made it to the top, but he is trying to push her down again into the muddy ground.
She watched as Kamui suddenly mumbled under his breath, "You stubborn, thick headed girl..."
Kagura suddenly found her composure, "...what?"
His voice raised, unable to contain his thoughts and emotions, "Don't you get it?! He's playing you! He's a fraud, a fake, an imbecile boy that can never stay true to anyone's heart!" Once again, Kamui has lost his temper, something only Kagura can make him lose it like this, and only Abuto has ever seen it, "In just a few weeks, he is going to break your heart faster than when you killed your first pet!" He ranted furiously. Only to make Kagura even more furious.
"Don't talk about Sadaharu so bluntly! And no he isn't! He may be hard headed, arrogant, an idiot, and a sadist but he isn't a liar!" she defended, she never knew the day would come where she would defend her rival. But hey, there is a first for everything, "Not about the things that count anyway..."
"Then why was he with that girl on New Year's, huh? If he was so set on you then why was he dating someone else?"
"He's just an idiot sometimes (or a lot of times), and it's not like we were dating at that point!" She shot back. But in the back of her head she also began to think about the answer to that. Why did he go out with that girl if he actually liked her? Was he bored? Or was trying to make her jealous? Actually, not that she thought about it, when did he start to like her? Was it ever since they made eye contact when she first arrived? Or was it just today when they pretended to go out?
Well, even with all of the questions, she had a feeling that in the end he had his reasons, and that he is a true guy. She is just going to have to go with her gut and just trust him regardless of all the questions going through her head. She can just ask him later, but right now she has to defend herself.
He grunted furiously, trying to hold back from himself strangling her, "You-" he began, "You are so...!" Suddenly he stopped his flow of words and sighed, relaxing his whole body, "Whatever, this won't be getting me anywhere..." He then quietly dug his right hand in his pocket as Kagura began to look at the actions in hidden fear. She began to think what was he going to take out? How is it going to affect her? "I guess I have no choice..." and began to slowly pull something out, "but to persuade you with..."
Kagura paused for a second, scared. Frightened actually. What did her brother have on her? How could he possibly make her do what she wanted? No, she doesn't want to feel controlled. What could it be? What could-
"THIS!" suddenly his movements became rapid and quickly revealed the object that was hiding in his pocket.
...
...How could...
How could he...
Kagura just stood there, dumbfounded.
How could he be so stupid…?
Trying to comprehend how her brother would think that this would convince her from leaving the love of her life, her eyes squinted in confusion. How he would think that that two minute bliss can be replaced with possible years of happiness?
Actually, in all honesty, she was little bit offended on how he would think that this could convince her. Wondering if this was actually a joke or not, she studied his face and waited for a few seconds. But clearly from his eyes, you can tell it wasn't. Which infuriated her even more.
When Abuto snorted, finally, she was able to speak.
"...what..."
When finally hearing the raspy voice of his dear sister, Kamui's eyes became big with curiosity, his head cocked to one side, "Hm?"
And that is when Kagura lost it, "WHAT THE HELL?" She bellowed out to his face, he could smell the leftovers of the salty and sour sukonbu, "HOW COULD YOU THINK THAT A STICKING PIECE OF SUKONBU CAN PERSUADE ME?! YOU THINK I'M AN IDIOT? AT LEAST PROMISE ME A LIFETIME SUPPLY DAMN IT!"
To her regret and embarrassment, though, she was actually thinking about the trade for just a second. But of course she would never admit that. She doesn't want him to win this argument. And to do that she needs all the odds in her favor.
"But it's a limited edition!" He whined as he pointed his free hand at the single little box of sukonbu, "this flavor will only be in stores this week! It's a one of a kind!"
The girl slapped his hand away, causing the sukonbu to fly out of his hand and hit the wall, falling helplessly down the wooden floor.
"Ah..."
"Are you an idiot...?!" She blared out, clearly fuming, "I can get it tomorrow if I feel like it! And the originals are always better, damn it! Know that!"
You can see the vermillion haired girl's blue orbs raging with anger, "If you really think that piece of shitty sukonbu can change my mind," she grumbled, "then you really had underestimated me, nii-san..."
As her ocean eyes met his, Abuto closely eyed at the abandoned sukonbu silently. When he saw what it is, he realized that it was a fraud.
No... that's not it... he began to think.
That's not what was in the cabinet...
Though he may look like it, Kamui isn't an idiot. He wouldn't use a stupid piece of cheap-ass sukonbu to make Kagura stop seeing him. He knows better. He knows how much Kagura loves the boy and how stubborn she is about it.
Where's the real deal? The one that I witnessed? That's not it. The one that he got out of that cabinet, I saw it...
He looked back up towards the two redheads.
And it is one heck of a persuasion.
Abuto just observes the two from the door, arms crossed and unseeming to change his face. He solemnly wondered to himself, a little bit interested but at the same time a little scared:
I wonder how Kagura will react when she sees his real tool...
After a moment of silence, you can see Kamui's blank face slowly morphing into an amused grin. As his lips curved upwards he looked down at the floor, eyes closed as he let out a little chuckle, "Ha..."
Kagura was taken aback at his sudden change of mood, but she still stayed alert, face and body tense as Kamui continued to grin and shake his head, "I should've known, that such a silly thing wouldn't sway you..." he mumbled as he began to dig his hand in the inside of his blue jacket.
The girl carefully eyed the moving hand. Did he always have a pocket in there...?
The brother continued to speak, "I guess I was just hoping I wouldn't have to do this. That maybe I could avoid it and relieve the pain, or take the easy route... but clearly you're not letting me do any of that..." he looked up, eyes showing a bit of remorse, "so it seems I'm going to have to do it the hard way... "
Kagura's eyebrows scrunched as she gave a slight frown.
Easing the pain...? Taking the easy route...?
What the hell is he talking about?
She doesn't understand. She doesn't get what could be so horrible that he would make a face like that.
From what? What is he trying to protect me from?
He gave a small sigh, "I guess I have no choice..." the boy began to slide out what seemed like a slip of white paper, "Remember that you are the one that is making me do this..."
At the moment, she gave a silent scoff. A piece of paper? Oh please, like I'm going to fall for that. As if I'm going to give up with a stupid paper. I bet it's just a contract that I wrote when I was five or...
And that's when he revealed it.
Or... or...
Her amused look immediately fell as she saw the single woman, sitting, within the picture shown.
Or...
…
Oh my gosh…. is that...
Her heart rose for just a second, while her eyes widened as she took in a small breath of air.
Tears began to form around her eyes.
It's her.
Mami...?
It's really her.
As if her body moved on her own, she unconsciously began to lean towards the precious piece of paper and pushed into a sprint as she was frantically trying to grab it out of his hand which failed because instead she ran right past her brother and almost face planted on the ground when Kamui avoided the attack as he lifted the picture high up and out of her reach.
"Oopsie daisies," was what he said when he avoided his little sister's wrath.
She looked at the ground. There's no doubt, the way the woman's orange locks fell, they way her small smile that revealed the bit of happiness she had during her hard times, how her pale hands were neatly placed on her lap which was covered by a green dress, the one she always wore. It's her.
It's definitely her.
And now she needs it in her hands.
When she stopped herself from falling, still crouching down, she twisted her head towards her brother to reveal gritted teeth and wide eyes that showed palpable anger and frustration.
Now.
"Give it to me!" You could hear her breath quicken as she launched another attack towards her brother, trying desperately to get that slip of paper of what she hasn't seen in years. All this time she didn't have time to question anything, like why the hell he has it when it belongs to her. Or how he found it when it was supposedly lost for years. Or if he just kept it the whole time to reveal it in such a way years later. All she was thinking was how to get her mom out of her dirty brother's hands.
Since her movements became more rigid and less stable, her onii-san swiftly dodged her unstable attack by leaning back with a slight "oof" and hiding the picture behind his head, a small smile plastered on his face, "Sorry, but I can't let you have this."
Before she could regain her balance, she rigorously pivoted herself around, her breath heavy not from fatigue but from shock. Her blue orbs were still hard like ice, and her intrepid glare was full of resentment. She hoped that it was enough to bring him down, but of course to no suprise it didn't.
Suddenly, she allowed the millions of questions had flood through her mind. And even if she felt like her throat was dry, she was determined to get them out.
As her mouth opened every syllable stung, "Where did you get it..."
Still with a smile, the male redhead began fanning himself with the piece of paper and replied with an obnoxious "hn?". Or obnoxious to Kagura anyway. "Sorry, but could you-"
"I SAID WHERE DID YOU GET THAT PICTURE YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING BROTHER!"
The wave of words were like a tsunami. Powerful and all at once. And after the loud boom that came from such a petite girl, silence engulfed the room. All you can see is the shaken girl with clenched fists, waiting impatiently for an answer from her annoying brother.
Her thoughts were filled with wonder and frustration. Does he not know? How important that is to her? Does he not get it that that picture was the only picture she had of her. That when she just lost it one day, she was more than heartbroken, she was so lost she couldn't even speak? That she cried for at least 2 days straight, because losing that picture felt like she just lost her mother all over again?
...
Does he not know any of that?
She tightened her fists until her knuckles became white.
Or does he know all of that and because of that he knows that she would do anything for it?
Her heart dropped in realization, totally forgetting why in any world he would steal her picture, and then show blatantly in front of her right now.
This is his tool. He is going to use this against me.
Her teeth clenched in frustration.
And what's worse is that I can't do anything about it...
As Abuto watches the two, he couldn't help but realize how readable Kagura is to Kamui. Every thought, every word, every action. Kamui can see it. It's like she is a book, and he has read it a billion times. I guess Kamui is right, he thought, everything is going as planned.
Her brother grinned, "Oh, this picture you mean?" He began to look at it more carefully and looked as if he is studying it, but that was just to piss Kagura off more, "I guess I just picked it up somewhere along the way."
"YOU BASTARD!" She retaliated, she felt like a volcano, spewing out more lava by the second, "That picture is the only one I had of mom and you know it!"
He cocked his head to the side, trying to look surprised, "Oh really?" But his eyes said it all, "But I didn't know that."
Her gritted her teeth. For a guy that said he didn't want to do this, he seems to be having a lot of fun with this...
She let out a small sigh as she began to helplessly growl out her words, "...What do you want?"
The male redhead grinned with pleasure, seeing that he knows that his little sis understood what it means to get this back, "Simple," he chimed, "For you to stay away from that arrogant man."
Kagura flinched for a moment, hearing that statement just makes her stomach feel like it's on fire. "What…?" Why would the hell would she agree to that? So what if her stupid onii-san has it at the moment. Now that she knows the picture still exists, she will just devise a plan to steal it later on. No biggie, she's done that before.
"No way, I refuse!" she exclaimed as she crossed her arms, "That isn't worth a picture." It actually was if it is mom's, but she is trying to persuade him. And anyways, she's going to end up with it later. She is younger, so she is more agile and can get it wherever her onii-san placed it if he can do it.
The glutinous man lowered the picture, a disappointed look was put on his face, "Huh..." he began, "Okay, then I guess you wouldn't mind..." he placed his other hand next to his hand that held the picture. All this time his subordinate was thinking how such a sadist he was, "if I ripped this apart, right?"
Her eyes immediately shot open and her body hair shot up as well. Suddenly, she took a step forward and reached a hand out as she cried out, "WAIT NO! STOP!"
Her brother did as he was told, except only he stopped for himself so he could keep this going. Without this picture he won't have anything on her anymore. And then she would never truly listen to what he has to say.
Too bad that that didn't happen.
He was smirking because he knew she would stop him. Even so he made the tiniest tear which broke Kagura's heart. Although it was just a tear, she couldn't help but feeling guilty for causing it. She could've agreed to his demands and this never would've happened. This feeling that she just hurt her mother is unbearable.
Even so, she couldn't stop the anger boiling up inside of her toward her elder who really was the cause of this whole mess. She began to clench her fists until they started to shake, "You...!"
"What?" He gawked, "A little tear is nothing, you can always make copies."
"That's not the point!"
"Then what is the point?" He asked, suddenly turning bitter, "How I made a tiny little rip because you were trying to defy me?" He mused, "How whatever his name is is trying to take you away and sweep up your feet like prince charming?" He took a step closer, eyes icy cold, "Well whatever it is, you are going to do as I say whether you like it or not, got it? Cuz if you don't I will take this picture, rip it apart, and burn it right before your eyes," he paused for a moment to see her reaction, and he was pleased when he saw the fear and anger in her blue eyes, "So go on. Choose. Save your only picture of mom and wait for another guy which, I might add, are millions in this world. Or go with that replaceable bastard and diminish your only remanence of mom?" he smiled apathetically, "So, what are you going to do my dear sister?"
Kagura was shocked. How could he make such a deal? How much and long did he plan for this day? While she was complaining about the other Sadist in her life she didn't come to realize that the biggest Sadist is right in this room.
She didn't know what to do. No, it's more like she had so many things she wanted to do she didn't know where to start. Her throat turned dry. She was speechless. But was terribly shaking. Not with fear, but with anger and frustration. "You bastard...!" And she couldn't hold it in anymore.
"You…" suddenly her voiced raised, "YOU SON OF A BITCH! YOU IDIOT OF A BROTHER! ARE WE EVEN RELATED?! HOW COULD YOU MAKE ME MAKE SUCH A DECISION YOU BASTARD!" She was grunting and trying hard to fight back the tears, "DO YOU EVEN HAVE A HEART? YOU BASTARD!" she knows that she called him that already, but her head is jumbled. She could barely think. She was already falling apart so she was surprised she could say anything decent at all.
"Woah woah woah," he said, unaffected about all of those words that shot at him, his face didn't even show a pang of guilt, "That's a lot of words there. Saying rants and naughty words won't get you anywhere you know. And you better make a decision soon, it's getting late and I'm tired from waiting for you for this long."
As if it was a cue, Kagura began to sprint forward, her right hand clenched in a fist as her eyes were intent on killing, hoping to make contact with her brother's face soon. But before she could land a hit Kamui placed the picture in front of his face with a slight "ah".
Kagura immediately froze right before the picture but then looked down and saw that his balls were open. She was about to move but flinched when Kamui began to speak, "Uh uh, I wouldn't do that if I were you," he teased as he pointed at the picture, "You lay even a finger on me or Abuto then this picture pays for it."
She continued to freeze. Hearing his voices ringing in her head. Why? She raised her arms about, but soon clenched her fists and lowered her arms and began to shake, biting her lip from trying to prevent her glossy eyes from spewing tears.
To just leave him…? How could she possibly be compliant with doing that? Right when she finally realized how she felt about him after all this time…? No. I don't want to do that. I don't but…
It's her mother. Her mom. The one who raised her while Papi was away working all the time, the one who cooked and cleaned and sang and told her stories before she became too weak to do only who made her truly feel special and loved. The one that she could just make her smile with her own. She couldn't just abandon her. She can't just make her disappear from the world again.
She hated making this decision. To choose between these two people… the two that matters to her most. And the only way to decide is to pick the one that would make her not shed as many tears tonight.
This decision… it's just a double edge sword.
There was no happy ending to it.
Why did it have to be this way?
"Well?" her brother began to ask with a smile, "What's your decision?"
She shot him a glare and tried her hardest to hold back from doing anything she will regret. She wanted to just pummel him to the ground until he covered in all bruises and crying for mercy until she gave him one last kick in the stomach and victoriously grab the precious picture from his hand. But she can't. Not if she wants to pay for it.
And suddenly she felt the defeat. How restrained she was. How completely helpless she actually was in the situation. And how she can do nothing to make it better. Either she leaves the sadist or her mom. And either way it'll feel like she is being stabbed in the heart.
Either way, she will be crying in her bed tonight.
She can feel the pressure rising up her chest. This was horrible. Absolutely horrible. Why can't she just have this one thing? She's been a good girl. She never did anything inhumane. She liked animals, and she would never truly hurt anyone. All she wanted was to be with the people she loves.
So why? Why is that the only thing she can't have?
Why is that the only thing that is taken away from her?
That's when she began to think. Maybe the sadist would find someone else that would be better. That would suit or compliment him more. Maybe the two of them would have never been a good couple in the end. And all they could do is fight. You can't fight fire with fire. And a S should always be paired up with an M, not another S.
She couldn't look at him in the eyes when she faced her brother again as she prepared to speak her decision that will change her life once again.
Maybe... this is for the best.
She continued to look at his nose that looked like her's.
But even if it is…
Tears rushed down her flushed cheeks.
I don't want to let him go.
"Okay fine," she croaked, "Ill do it. Just leave the picture and I'll do it."
But else can she do?
He cupped his hand to his ear pleasingly, "Huh?" even though he heard it already, "What did you say?"
"I SAID I'LL LEAVE HIM OKAY?!" she bellowed, but then she went back into her shell as she stared helplessly at the picture, "so just, please…." tears continued to run down her cheeks as she closed her eyes, "please, just leave her be…."
The male redhead just looked at her for a second. Even though it pains him to see her so sad, he knew it was for the best. He knew that having her like this is the only way to protect her.
He smirked, "Good," he finally stated, "I see that you made the right decision."
She just stood there, crying silently with occasionally sniffs, but she held out her hand indicating for her brother to give her the picture now.
The boy teasingly almost placed the picture in her hand but then quickly pulled it away before she could grab it, "Ah sorry, I can't give you the picture yet because you might take it and talk to that imbecile about it and come back to hurt me," he slipped the picture back in his hidden pocket, "Oh but don't worry, I wont hurt it- or her. But I'll be keeping it until I see your relationship with him totally diminishes." After hearing the silence and a deadly glare as her response, he just called out to his partner, "Abuto, let's go," he commanded calmly as the vermillion haired boy headed out the door. Abuto went out before his boss, and when Kamui was about to close the door, he looked over his shoulder with a smile on his face, taking out the picture again and waved the picture as if gloating over it. "Well…" His next words were full of irony that Kagura could barely take it.
"I'm glad that we can make this agreement."
When the door closed shut, it was just Kagura's body shaking, hands clenched, and heart aching as she was still trying to prevent the already fallen tears, "Kuh…." she closed her eyes and tears naturally spewed out once again, "Dammit..." she fell to her knees and with all of her measle strength left, she violently punched the floor one time with her right hand, "DAMMIT!" and another, "WHY?!" and another and another and another until she was punching with both fists screaming "Why why why?" during each punch, crying getting louder by the second. Until both of her fists raised up, as if gaining momentum, and at the same time punched to the ground, and her forehead then fell to the floor as her red hair covered her wrecked face.
She couldn't believe this is happening. Why is this happening? Why did her damn brother have to ruin everything for her? Right when she had finally discovered true happiness, complete and utter bliss, he had to literally barge into her room and take it all away from her. All because he stole another precious thing that belonged to her a while ago.
She clenched her fists harder. This world is so cruel. More than she could ever imagine. She never knew or realized how painful this world can make her feel. How unfair they make it to be, the world. How many times did this place make her cry with sadness? Scream with anger? Punch in frustration?
She wished that she never had to experience this. Because people say that you learn from your bad experiences. That you grow from your tragedies. But how does this help you grow? How does this help you move on or learn or improve? If anything, she feels like a wreck now. Like now that she has fallen, she can never get up. Or more like she doesn't want to.
She couldn't see anything. All she could see was the cold hard floor. And suddenly she closed her eyes and thought about the past. The good times. Before everything got complicated. Before her heart started to beat fast for him. Before when all she could think about food and her friends and about kicking that guy in the ass.
Before she had to go and cry for him.
Suddenly she felt weak. Like all of her strength and energy got drained out of her, and all she could do was stay in that position. Just crouching down and letting the tears flow out. No, she couldn't hold them back anymore, she couldn't. Her tense face suddenly relaxed as water immediately flooded out and one by one hitting the ground like a rainfall. She didn't want to feel this way anymore. She doesn't want her heart to ache for him, for her mind to think about him, her hands wanting to feel him. But all she could do now is see his face. His annoying yet enticing face of his. Stealing his sukonbu and having that confident sneer on his face that she painfully admitted pulled her in. His crimson eyes when he looks into her's and his big warm hands when he caressed her.
Then she began to think why she was crying. Why her tears are just naturally falling out without any strength to make it. Is it because she is frustrated with her brother? Or angry that he has her picture? How she feels like she was betrayed by him? Or annoyed? Sad? Confused? Or is it because she doesn't want to let the Sadist go…?
She bit her lip, "I hate this…"
Or was it because of it all?
"I hate this all…"
Why did it have to be this way?
If only I didn't love him. If only I wasn't so stupid…
After that, she just stayed silent.
If only…
And stayed in that way…
Then no one would've gotten hurt.
For a long, long time.
…
"Hey, Toshi…" began the gorilla, voice especially low as he cupped his right hand to the mayo lover's right ear, "Do you know what happened to Sougo?"
The two of them were at a safe distance, a little bit uncomfortable with their friend's new personality as they sat and carefully watched the sandy brown haired boy in his desk, chin on the palm of his hands, and smiling to himself in the distance.
"No," answered the black haired man. The two of them were going along their usual route to school when they met their sandy haired companion at the normal place, at the normal time, in the normal way. Everything seemed to be the same until they actually met with him. And when they did they were immediately greeted with a gag-inducing, spine chilling, heart stopping, unusually genuine smile with a cheerful good morning.
That, in no possible place in the universe (unless if it was a parallel world where Hijikata hated mayonnaise and Kagura became anorexic), was normal.
Ever since then, they have kept their distance, "If he didn't tell you, why the hell would he tell me?" Toshi added as he contemplated on all of the things that bastard hid from him.
"I don't know… well… I don't really know what to think right now. I'm a little bit scared," Kondo confessed as he eyed the unusual boy worriedly.
He sighed, sounding a bit annoyed, but in reality behind that face he was more worried than anyone, "That guy is always one step away from chopping my head of, so this isn't scary. This is just creepy."
They watched as the Sadist's eyes glistened and smile becoming deeper.
"Ahh, Toshiii!" Isao quietly exclaimed, his mouth becoming closer to his friend's ear, "His smile got bigger! I'm really scared now, I'm actually reaaally scared!"
As the black haired man cringed in disgust, another person joined the conversation, causing the gorilla to blush, "Hey, what's up with your friend?" asked the brunette as she eyed the red-eyed boy carefully.
"Beats me," replied the mayo-hugger, "He's been acting this way since this morning."
"Y-Yeah," added the other one, desperate trying to join the conversation with his beloved Otae, "S-Since this morning."
The girl completely ignored his comment though and continued to just look at the one who doesn't obsess over her, "Well I find it gross and insightful, much more than this gorilla over here." She nodded her head towards the blushing man whose face immediately fell.
"Hey, I'm no-"
"Shin-chan and I were just talking about it, and we think it is very late into the story to change character," Otae complained, "Can you ask him why he is smiling so weirdly and make it stop?"
"You're not the only one," mumbled Toshi, and then his voice rose in the next sentence, "Well then why don't you ask him yourself?"
She put her hand to her mouth, trying to look innocent, "Oh no! I couldn't do that…!" she answered, eyes wide open, "That would be rude, especially since I'm not a close friend of his," she began to plaster on a closed smile, "Since you are such a good friend of Okita-san, I'm sure he wouldn't mind you asking him."
A cold front swept through the two men. Ah, so that's why she came over here.
Hijikata laughed awkwardly, his smile twitching, "Oh no no no. I think you got the wrong idea Shimura-san. Sougo and I are definitely not close," he implied, "In fact, he hates me. I don't know if you noticed, but he tries to kill me at least once everyday. At least." He stressed on the at least part, because in reality it is really rare for him to only try to attempt murder only once a day. And what's even more rare is when he doesn't even attempt a murder at all.
Today was one of those rare days.
And that frightened Hijikata even more, which is why he didn't want to go up to him and ruin it all. Having that boy who curses him every night sending him a smile is disgusting enough. He doesn't need a whole conversation of it, "Maybe Kondo-san can go over and talk to him," he gestured, looking at the now frightened man, "After all, he'll probably listen to you since you are his favorite." He complimented as he patted the gorilla on the back. But in reality it was just to push the weight off of him, "Sorry Kondo-san, but it's true. He will probably listen to you. Go, go I believe in you."
"Eh…? Sputtered the gorilla, "EHHH? Nooo I don't wanna! He looks so scary!"
"Go gorilla," commanded the brunette darkly, "If you don't then I will never even acknowledge your existence ever again."
He began to tear up, "O-Otae-san…!" But you do that already…!
"GO."
After that coaxing, the gorilla reluctantly got up from his seat and fretfully walked towards the smiling Sadist, looking back occasionally with teary eyes hoping that they'll feel bad and call him back. But it's Otae and Hijikata we are talking about. And since Otae has an especially monumental hatred towards Isao Kondo, she just taped on a not so sweet smile as her eyes closed, showing no sympathy whatsoever.
When he was finally in a foot range of his beloved Sougo, he walked in front of his desk and bent down so he could look up from him. His voice was unsteady, "Y-Yo Sougo…! He began as he raised his right hand up as a greeting, "How are you feeling today?"
The sandy haired boy snapped out of his happy daze and blankly stared at his president who was squatting down and facing him across of his desk. This made him think of when he had China guess when his birthday was and made him smile, "Me?" he chirped, "I'm feeling wonderful thanks for asking."
...
"I CAN'T! I CAN'T DO IT!" Kondo cried helplessly as he tugged against Toshi's shirt, snot coming out of his nose, "It's too much! His smile is so scary! He's just too much for me!"
Otae sighed relentlessly, "Stupid gorilla, I should've known that such a lowly animal wouldn't be able to do anything…" she clapped her hands together, "Okay…! I guess we have no choice but to figure it out ourselves since this useless gorilla is no use whatsoever." She crossed her arms, "First, did anything happen lately? Did he win the lottery or something?
Hijikata gave her a small glare from her insulting his captain so much before answering, "I don't know," he said, "but he probably wouldn't be this happy like that."
"Was Sougo like himself yesterday?"
Hijikata crossed his arms and closed his eyes, "I'm not sure, he was pretty much with Kagura the whole…"
"…"
…
…
…
"Kagura…" Otae said emotionlessly and slowly, "You say…"
Suddenly a realization had just dawned all of them.
Right…
Kagura…
They all just stood there, mentally hitting themselves for forgetting a key person who, for somewhat reason isn't here yet, plays an important role in Okita's life.
"What exactly happened yesterday…" the brunette asked, a little bit unsure if she wanted to know.
"Oh right, you weren't there yesterday…" the mayo-lover commented.
"Well, what happened?" she asked impatiently.
Hijikata sighed, "They became a couple."
She leaned in closer, "WHAT?"
"But I didn't really think much of it, because knowing Sougo he has probably made a bet or something."
"And Kagura-chan accepted it?!" Otae exclaimed, then she reverted back to her proper posture and placed a hand to her cheek, "Well, I guess I'm not that surprised but still…"
Hijikata shot her a wide eye look, "What!? I thought they hated each other!"
Otae sighed, "Oh, you thick-headed boys. You men know nothing about relationships. On this side it was clear that something was stirring up the past few months. You idiots are just so self-absorbed that you didn't notice any of it."
Kondo seemed shock, "Wha… is it true? Was my young Sougo falling in love without me knowing…? Oh I am such a bad father! Oh he's growing up so fast! Toshi hold me! Say it isn't so!"
The mayo-lover kept his composure with a flinch of discomfort as he felt Kondo grabbing his arm, "Kondo-san, I don't think you should do something like that here…." he then looked at Otae again as Kondo continued to tear up, "So is it true then? Those two idiots are a thing now?"
The brunette continued to have a solemn look on her face, "I guess so…" she began, "but what I am wondering is why was Okita not happy like this yesterday when they began dating but today it's like he finally killed Hiji-"
"Ookay," the smoker interrupted sternly, "Then maybe they did something after school."
She looked down thoughtfully, "They did something…" she quietly mumbled, "Then what did they do?"
The two were both thinking for awhile until they both looked at each other with wide eyes in realization.
"...You don't think…?" Hijikata began.
The two of them looked at the smiling boy in horror as Kondo stopped tugging onto the mayo-love and looked at the two quizzically.
You don't think they…?
As if right on cue, the redhead unusually quietly slid open the door, her head facing down. Without a word she walked to her seat and neatly sat down as she slumped her backpack next to her chair. All this time the threesome were quietly watching her every move in horror, waiting for what will happen next to solve this mystery.
And as they expected, as soon as they sadist spotted the glutinous girl, his face lit up and then slyly smirked as he got out of his seat to walk over to his new girlfriend.
So it is because of Kagura.
As soon as Kagura heard the footsteps coming her heart dropped and froze, already knowing who it was, "Well well, aren't we quiet today," he began, his amusement already showing. He stopped next to the sitting girl and slightly leaned over to get a glimpse of her face, but with no luck because she was covering them with her bangs, "What, cat got your tongue this fine morning?" his grin got bigger, "Or did you sleep in as usual?"
The girl stayed silent, her position still the same. Eyes covered, mouth shut, and hands tightly clenched on top of her legs, dreading of what will come next.
His face slightly deflated as little wrinkles formed between his eyebrows, "China?"
When his answer was more silence, he began to lean in more, "Oi," he reached out his hand towards her, "Hey, what's wrong? Answer me."
But before he could touch her, the vermillion haired girl lightly slapped his hand away as if she shooed a fly, "Don't touch me." Her words were bitter and harsh.
Shock suddenly took over his body as his face immediately fell. For the first time in awhile it felt like someone he loved was stabbing him in the heart.
His eyes showed confusion and betrayal, "…Why?"
She couldn't even look at him in the eye, because if she did she knew tears would fall out. And she can't let him know how she truly felt when she said these next words that will hurt him as much as it will hurt her, "Because…" she began softly, "I don't think we should see each other anymore…" she simply stated.
She has to break his heart, even though it will break her's.
He was silent for a moment. But before he could say anything back Kagura was already packing her stuff and scurrying out the door, "I'm sorry…" was all she could say before she slammed the door shut.
There was a long pang of silence after the door closed. The three bystanders, as utterly confused and shocked as the sadist was, opened their mouths wide opened as they tried to process on what they had just witnessed.
What the hell happened between the two?
As Kagura ran away from the dumbfounded sadist, his eyes that used to glistened immediately stopped, changed to disappointment, froze, and was replaced with his more than usual cold red eyes as he turned to look at the group of classmates, watching the whole scene.
Terrified, the whole class quickly huddled in a circle, "Oi, oi, oi. I think he saw us…!" whispered the Hijikata in a frightened tone, What do we do? The unusually happy-go-lucky Sadist is now a super scary angry Sadist looking for someone to do his hobby with…!"
"Well, I take Kondo as volunteer," someone quietly suggested, who sounded like a boy.
The gorilla jumped, "Ehh? Why me?"
"Cuz he likes you the most out of all of us, therefore he will be the most easiest on you."
He started to sweat madly and he slowly craned his head around to see the sadist still piercing his eyes back at them, then he quickly flung his head back around, "No no no no no," he began, head vigorously shaking and his hands waving back and forth, "That's impossible, completely and utterly not possible," he croaked, "In this state he sees everyone as the same, he will just see me as a victim to go towards and kick me in the ass."
That's when Katsura patted him on the back, "Don't worry leader, I believe in you."
"Who the hell are you calling leader?!" he shot back, slapping his hand away, "I don't wanna be the leader! I just want to live to see tomorrow!"
"Fine we will have Hasegawa-san do it."
The sunglasses man jumped in surprise and pointed to himself, "Huh? Me?"
"Well you had no part in this story whatsoever, so you should make some use of yourself in it."
"But-"
The boring character adjusted his glasses, "Um, Aneoi…"
The brunette turned to her younger brother in front of her, "What Shin-chan?"
He slowly pointed behind her to see an empty, quiet classroom where once stood the Sadist,
"...He's gone."
Down a fairly vacant hallway, the sandy brown haired boy hastily sprinted down the white floor panting all the way.
Where the hell is she?
Why is she suddenly acting like this? Didn't she understand each other mutually now? Why is she acting like none of that happened? Like she hated him now once again? Why is she becoming so confusing again? All these similar thoughts were running through the Sadist's head as he casually peered left and right, trying to look for a certain redhead.
He was confused, so confused. More confused than when he had mixed feelings about her before all of this even happened. Because unlike before, he was so sure about her and now he felt unsettled about all of this. About her actions, her words, everything.
What the hell happened last night?
He stopped when he saw the dead end and groaned in annoyance. Great, where is she hiding? He turned a full 180 and began to look through every class door. Even if a class was in session, he didn't care, it's not like a tiny peek will disrupt much. It'll probably be the most exciting thing that will happen all day. He slid open each door in chronological order as he ignored the whispers and squeals of girls before he immediately closing it again. Seeing no spec of that certain bright daring color.
Being the natural thick headed jerk he is, he even looked in the girl's bathroom which caused a not so small havoc. But, knowing the kind of girl she is, he also didn't forget to check the boys bathroom as well.
After going through all of the possible doors in the hallway, he briskly ran his fingers through his sandy brown locks with a grunt. He was getting impatient. He has been searching for her for awhile now. He swore that he saw her running in this direction. And being the natural loud girl she is, there is no possible way that she could sneak her way around him and run to the other side. So where else she could be?
He looked around with a contorted look on his face until his eyes stopped at the row of windows that lit up the hallway. His face lit up. Of course…
Why didn't I think about that before?
With a small grin, he let out a sigh as he walked towards the nearest window and unlatched the lock so he could slowly push it open, causing it to squeak. Without thinking of closing it behind him, he swiftly jumped out the window and smoothly landed on a patch of grass below two floors down. That girl is such a monster, being able to jump this high. But hey, he's able to do it too…
He scoured the area for a few seconds before standing up and began to walk around the perimeter and the outskirts of the school. However, after that one breakthrough he had to be one step closer to the glutinous girl, he hasn't found another clue after walking around the area. After passing the entrance seven times he finally stopped to look over to the huge gray double doors. Is she on the first floor…?
Already… I already miss him…
The vermillion haired girl was huddled up in a dark corner where all she could see was the slightest bit of light that came from the cracks of the closed closet door. She was silently frowning to herself as she hugged her knees, trying to suppress the small tears.
She hated this. She hated this so much. She hates how she has to avoid the Sadist, how she had to slap his hand away from her. She hates how she had to break up with him, how she had to run away from him, to see his face fall when she had to lie to him, even though she didn't want to. And she hates that she has to hide from him in this stupid closet that no one uses.
This is all his fault… she thought to herself as she buried her face into her knees. It was all because of her stupid brother.
Was that even a breakup? She wondered. He probably didn't think so, being as persistent and thickheaded he is. She tightened her grip on her knees. That idiot… I don't want to have to say it again…
If I do. Then really I really won't be able to hold it in anymore…
If she could, she would just barge out of this closet, find and walk up to the Sadist, tell him that this was all a joke and that he was so gullible and that he fell for it and maybe have lunch on the rooftop or something. Just to see his face get a little red even though he tries to hide it and play it off with a smirk or something undeniably witty. And then this whole awkward situation would be behind them.
But she can't. She'll probably have to be in here for the whole day today. But what will she do tomorrow? Maybe she can transfer schools or something. But that would be too annoying, and she loves all of her friends here at Gintama High. Then what else can she do? Keep on continuously rejecting him everyday? He's going to want to real answer though on why… Or should she just ignore him for a month or so? Will that wave him off? Probably not. He waited for who knows how long for her, and she didn't even notice…!
Oh gosh, will I have to find a new fake boyfriend? But who would that be? Shinpachi? No he would beat him up…
Hijikata? He already has enough cursing from him…. Maybe Ginpachi-sensei? Maybe he'll think I like older men and he can't compare. But wait he's older than me too… and I don't want to give Gin-chan problems… he already has that loli-smoking addiction.
Then suddenly, it hit her. Wait… what am I going to do about food?! I can't last being here for a while day with nothing to eat…! She could already feel her stomach growling.
Uhg, what should I-
Suddenly, the door flung open and her head shot upwards with a loud gasp as light immediately flooding the room, revealing a broad figure who she couldn't recognize for a moment because of the blinding lights behind that person. But once her eyes began to focus, her eyes widened in surprise, relief, and then in horror.
How did he…?
But before she could even finish her train of thought, she jumped forward onto her legs and desperately tried to scurry her way around him. Thinking that since she was small, she could hopefully fit into the little hole that he wasn't fully blocking and slip out. If she could just get out, she could make a run for it. Because she knew she was the faster runner between the two.
If I can get out, I win. But if I can't…
I don't know what will happen.
However, the odds were not in her favor today. Without even getting an inch out of the closet, the boy with the sandy brown hair grabbed her by her right wrist. Tight. When she felt the restrain, she immediately stood up and began to violently flail back and forth, trying to release him from his grip. But before she could do anything else, he latched onto her other wrist, giving her little to no movement, and slammed her against the wall while closing the door behind him in the process. Making the room go dark once again.
Once she realized her deadly situation, she instinctively began to blindly kick and grunt in the dark until the sadist got a hold of her feet by forcefully stepping on them with his own as he brought his face closer to her's.
After several minutes of useless flailing, she finally calmed down, breathing hard from her wasted energy. She couldn't see anything so she was able to notice her surroundings with her other senses. She could hear the Sadist's heavy breathing and hoped that he couldn't feel her hot breath like how she could feel his. This cramped area was dark, and hot. And it was making her feel dizzy.
Suddenly, the light bulb was turned on by the Sadist. She guessed that he did so by pulling on the thin string with his teeth. And when her eyes finally adjusted to the light, she realized that their faces were only inches apart and she could see the sweating gliding down the sadist's cheek dripping from his chin as well as the piercing eyes that stared right into her's.
Her heart began to beat faster, not only from devastation of what could come next but also because of how close he was to her. Even though they were together for a day, she still isn't use to this tight proximity. Probably because he has such a cocky demeanor.
What could she do? Her heart was about to explode, and she needed to get out. Or else what happens if Kamui hears rumors about her and this guy being locked in a closet together…? What will happened to her mom…?
The girl looked at Okita's left arm, muscles flexing and veins popping from holding her back. Without any second thought, she tried to reach out her head towards it and bared her teeth.
If I could just bite him… he would definitely let go no doubt. She thought hopefully.
But before she could reach the flesh, the Sadist stretched his arms outwards, causing her arms to stretch as well. While doing this, the sandy haired boy leaned his face even closer, his face amused and broken at the same time, "What are you doing?" he asked in a low voice. She can feel her face reddening once again. Why does this feel like deja vu?
She gulped as she looked over to her right, avoiding the sadist's gaze, "...Nothing."
"You idiot, you were trying to bite me weren't you?"
She continued to look away as she could feel the heat rising, "Can you let me go?" she answered shakily, "This should technically be categorized as rape, but if you let me go now I won't tell anyone about this," the girl weakly bargained.
But he wasn't buying any of it, "You…" without even looking back she could feel the sharp pain from his stare and voice, "Why are you trying to avoid me all of the sudden?"
She looked down. This question… what should she say? More specifically what can she say? Should she lie? Should she tell the truth? If she's honest, she could risk her only connection to her mom. And not only that, she could risk him. If this guy found out, or even Kamui, those two will definitely go and clash with one another. And although the sadist is strong, Kamui is stronger. She know he is. It's just a sad known fact. And she just can't bare see him get all beaten up from her own brother. And to know that she would be the cause of it, well, she could never live with herself anymore.
But if she lied… if she would just go with a made up story, then it would only hurt him temporarily. Maybe a lot more at first, but surely it would die out, right? Surely she would be able to find someone else, and surely that sadist with his annoying good looks should be able to find another special someone as well. If they can't be together either way, why should she let him go through the physical pain as well? Though it will hurt to say it, though this next hour or so will be tremendously painful, she has to. She must. Afterall, it is better to have her hurt him instead of her older brother punching him to death.
Because truly, what other choice does she have?
"I told you…" she clenched her fists, "I don't want to see you anymore…"
"But why?" he stressed, "Why don't you want to see me anymore?"
"I…" she began to fidget, "I don't know, I mean I guess… after thinking about it- after staying in my bed I decided-"
"China!" the loud words caused the redhead to wince, "Stop messing with me, I'm not an idiot." You could hear the hurt and anger behind every work he spoke.
She didn't speak, more like she couldn't. It was as if a huge ball was stuck in her throat.
He just looked at her patiently who just stayed silent, "China…"
After some more silence, he then frowned, "...Or is it really because you don't want to see me anymore…?" his voice became soft, but the words still stung, "If yes then just look at me and tell me why," his words slowly began to grumble, "Just tell me what happened in the past 24 hours that made you feel this way."
She just froze, still keeping her eyes glued to the ground. How can she look at him in the eye and lie about something like that? How can she just see him in her state right now? She still hasn't recovered from last night, she hasn't recovered from anything. Maybe that is also why she decided to hide, because she just needed some time alone. To just think. To just regenerate and try to think and take this head on which she is struggling to do now.
"I… I…"
"China, tell me." he faintly demanded. He intensely looked at her but she continued to look away. He looked at him up and down, left and right, and then tightened his lips, "Fine," he mumbled, "Suit yourself."
When she heard him say that, her heart slightly dropped. Hearing that, he's probably going to let her go now. He probably got the message now and would give up. Any minute now he is going to let go of her arms, release her feet, and head out the door. And she will be left in the room, alone, and for the rest of the year she and him will be complete strangers. They will probably never talk again.
Her stomach began to turn.
Never again will they talk, or fight, or even look at eachother.
She pursed her lips together.
I guess it's all going to end now. I guess now-
Her eyes suddenly widened though when she felt something unusually slimy on her left ear. She just paused for a moment as she tried to take in what was actually happening but then chills ran through her spine when she felt him biting the cartilage of her ear.
"Wh-what are you doing?" she asked weakly, but he didn't respond. She tried to lean back to increase the distance between them but the wall behind her prevent her from doing so she lifted her left shoulder up to her ear but he continued to teasingly bite the tip and then tactically whispered into her ear which caused her knees to shake, "Tell me what's up and I'll stop."
She then looked down, wide eyed. She should've known that he wouldn't have given up that easily, that he would use a tactic like this. But she has to get him off, she has to push him away, but the way he's biting her ear, the way he whispers in his deep and soothing hushed voice, it's making her feel weak. She can hardly feel her legs and her heart can't stop beating. However…
she has to stop it now.
She squinted her eyes as she began to squirm from his movements, but he just held her down harder and moved his actions down to the nape of her neck. No, stop…
His biting and tonging became more vigorous than before.
Stop…
Suddenly a wave of energy hit her and she was able to wiggle free from his grasp and slapped him on his left cheek, "STOP IT!"
Hard.
Realizing what she had done, she immediately pulled back her hand that she slapped the Sadist with and had her other hand wrap around her wrist. She looked at his reddened cheek regrettably as he hid his eyes under his sandy brown bangs.
Her heart dropped as she began to speak "I… I'm sorry- I…" Oh god what have I done? "I…" but her voice fell after she realized that wasn't getting any feedback from him. She just stared at his motionless and dark face. She couldn't tell how he was feeling. She didn't know. And she was afraid to find out.
Suddenly when she heard him chuckle and speak her heart skipped a beat, "...Do you really hate me that much now…?"
Her face flinched in terror and she opened her mouth but then pursed her lips back together as she stared at his figure. But when she saw him looking her she immediately looked down. She felt scared, frightened. She didn't know what to do. But she knew if she looked into his eyes right now in her weakened state, she'll have a breakdown. And she can't have that happen.
He just stared at her, "...why won't you look at me…?"
"..."
"Hey…" he leaned in closer, "why won't you look at me?"
Still, there was no feedback… but she could feel her whole body begin to shake as the emotions were welling up inside of her. She felt bad but how could she look at him right now at this time when she's feeling like this?
He furrowed his eyebrows, "Oi china, can you hear me…?" he firmly asked, a little louder than before. But when he still didn't get a response, he frowned viciously and she flinched as he slammed his hands on both sides of her head and bellowed.
"China! Look at me now!"
She bit her lip as her heart began to race. No…
"C'mon! China!"
If I look at him now, then I'm definitely going to…
"CHINA!"
"JUST STOP!" she finally erupted as her head shot in front of his, face constraint and contorted from using every bit of muscle to hold back the waterworks. Suddenly the two were silent as the sadist stared at the redhead's constrained face, "Just stop…" she could only look at him for a second before looking down, her eyes tearing up as she shook, "I… I didn't want to do this…" her eyes began flood up as her emotions slowly began to seep out of her, "I never wanted to do this but…but… I can't," she finally admitted, still shaking, "I can't be with you anymore…! It's too much pain, it hurts too much. Things keep on getting in the way, he's always getting in the way. It feels like everything and everyone is telling us that we shouldn't be together, that we should just stay as rivals. And that's all we should be," she began to to hiccup between her words as her knees gave out and slid down the wall, "It's him, it's always him. I just want to be with you and everyone but-"
Her eyes suddenly widened as she placed her hands over her mouth.
Oh shit...!
She just realized that she just basically blurted out everything. That she had led herself down the hole. She screwed up. Completely screw up. The one secret she was suppose to keep has now been released. And now she's going to get it. It's all her fault. She's going to see her friends get it. This guy is going to get it. Her mom will get it. And it'll all be her fault. Because she got him involved. Because she couldn't keep her mouth shut or her keep her emotions in.
"Wait…." she croaked through her settling tears as she waved her arms in front of her and tried to manage a smile. Oh no oh no oh no. "Actually, don't listen to what I'm saying, don't listen to me. Let's just pretend that this conversation didn't happen."
He then looked at her blankly, as if unknown on how to respond to this situation.
What have I done? Fear suddenly swept through her mind. How is she going to get out of this? She just blurted out almost everything. How she's being forced to do this, that these are not her true intentions.
He now knows.
Even though it's the truth, she can't have him know. She can't have him say this and blurt this out to the whole school.
What is going to happen now? What'll happen when her big brother finds out? The redhead's breath began to quicken until it felt like she was hyperventilating. What is going to happen to Okita? More importantly, what is going to happened to her mom?
Oh my gosh, mom. If I lose you again…
"Look, I'm… I'm not going to say anything else alright?" She squeaked, "You can't ever mention this alright?" She looked down as her eyes shot from left to right. She was scared, truly scared, "If I tell you everything- everything will change, you'll get hurt, people'll get hurt, things will get worse and mom… mom will-"
But before she could finish her sentence, she suddenly felt a huge ball of complete warmth that surrounded her on all sides. She slightly jumped and then continued to shake with wide eyes as she felt the boy's large hands around her small back.
"Wha… What are you-"
"It's okay…" She heard the familiar warm voice ringing in her ears, "It's okay…" he repeated, "So... just shut up for a second."
She blinked a few times as she sucked in her breath in rapid and inconsistent motions, but her breath slowed as she took in the warm and familiar scent of the sandy haired boy. It's crazy. It's crazy how with just one hug like this, it can just make her feel so calm. How his warmth can suddenly make her have a peaceful state of mind.
He continued to speak, "It's alright," he said soothingly, "Everything will be alright."
She shook her head helplessly, "No… no it isn't…! People'll get hurt… I don't want you to-"
He tightened his grip on her, "Don't worry about me, I won't get hurt. As long as I have you I won't truly be hurt," he paused for a moment, "But if you push me away… then that's the biggest sword you can stab me with China."
She looked down at his back as her heartbeat slowed. She sniffled a few times. She never knew…. that the Sadist could be so kind when he used to draw mustaches on her face when she was asleep, that she could be so comforted with just his sound and smell when just his presence rose her blood pressure.
She never knew… how comfortable she could be with him…
This position… it made her remember what happened last night. The night that the two of them were in each other's arm in the cold weather. The night that she finally realized her true feelings. And so this also made hr remember how much she wanted to maintain this relationship with the Sadist. How much she truly cared about him and never wanted to let him go. She didn't want to leave his arms at that moment in time. And, just like magic, she swiftly felt like everything that seemed so complicated and heart wrenching before… wasn't so heart wrenching and complicated anymore.
He then whispered into her ear that now made her feel truly at peace and not lonely anymore.
"I just want to be with you, China."
She immediately opened her eyes once again with a small gasp. And then closed her eyes with relief and a small "un". All of a sudden, she felt like she could now tell him, tell him everything. About Kamui, about all of her dad and how he was actually bald, about when Abuto first came into her house in the 6th grade and ate all of her favorite snacks, and most of all, about her mom, and how much she had impacted her life like how he impacted her's.
Then suddenly, she felt this pang of hope. The hope that things will get better soon. That as long as this Sadist was with her… somehow…
She tightened her grip onto his shirt.
...just somehow…
"Me too…"
everything would be alright.
Author's Note: Phew! Finally done with chapter 18! XD I already know how I am going to end this series in my head, but the problem is writing it because it's still a good amount of writing left… However I know that this will end with about 2-3 more chapters! The time frame for that, however, is unknown. But I'll be honest, it'll take awhile. But hey! At least Gintama the anime is starting again soon! Love you all that still continue to keep up with me for all these years!
Please review! I love the feedback! I truly need it, it's my energy to keep this going.
Love you all!
-Sahara