Chapter 7: For Richer or Poorer
The first sensation that Brian was able to register upon waking up was an intense and painful pounding in his head. The second was the swirling of the contents of his stomach, a feeling that brought on an almost unbearable nausea. It took him several moments to work up the nerve to actually open his eyes. His only reward for the effort was the blindingly bright light of the sun peeking through shades that Rachel always felt necessary to keep open. It took several more seconds before his eyes actually adjusted, though that did nothing for pain such brightness caused in his head. Nevertheless, he forced himself to sit up and look over at the clock resting on the nightstand.
2:00
Fuck…
The canine groaned and rubbed at his temples, trying to alleviate some of the strain in his head.
It didn't work.
His day was practically gone, but then again, what had he even had planned for today? What did he even miss? Lunch with Rachel?
He scoffed to himself, finding it hard to believe that his girlfriend would be wanting to take him out anywhere anytime soon.
...Not after last night.
The memories of Lois's dinner party, or whatever she wanted to call it, started flooding back, only adding to his stress as he recalled everything that had happened.
Everything he had seen…
He remembered Stewie...and his new friend .
He remembered how happy the boy had been with that man. He remembered how tossed aside and useless it had made him feel. He remembered all the little cues Stewie had kept sending to indicate that he…
The pounding intensified, causing the dog to grip his head and moan in pain loudly.
The memories were only making everything worse…
He shut his eyes tightly and began massaging his forehead.
The next thing he heard was the door of the bedroom opening followed by the immediate presence of Rachel in the room.
He sighed.
Great.
"You ok? I heard you. It sounded like you were in pain…"
The woman's voice was caring and gentle, but even that was still enough to make Brian's head hurt all the more. He groaned again as he nodded his head.
"I am in a lot of pain. ...I'll be fine, though. Not the first time I've been through this."
He opened his eyes and saw his girlfriend standing at the foot of the bed with a huge frown on her face.
She looked worried…
...And maybe a tad confused.
She just continued to stare at him before exhaling slowly and walking over to the side of the bed, arm extending toward the dog.
"Come on. You're going to have to get up, eventually."
One last groan from Brian before he reluctantly took the woman's hand. She helped him out of the bed and followed after him as he slowly made his way into the bathroom where he quickly began shedding his clothes from the previous night, grumbling to himself the whole time.
He felt disgusting, like he had been rolling around in dirt for the past several hours, and it had just now caked and hardened. Shedding the slept in clothes had helped, but he was hoping that a nice, long shower would get him past the worst part of his hangover.
As he was turning on the water and adjusting it to the perfect temperature, he heard Rachel addressing him once again.
"So...listen, I think we should talk…"
Brian barely heard her. He was so focused on feeling the water with his paw, and he contemplated ignoring the woman for the moment.
He quickly decided against it, though. The last thing he needed was to make things worse with her.
"About what?"
There it was. Just hot enough to make his skin tingle but not enough to actually hurt. That's how he liked it.
He was hardly listening for Rachel's response as he cut on the showerhead and stepped inside the tub.
"Well...something was going on with you last night, and I just figured you might want to talk about it. You seemed really upset, dear…"
The dog sighed heavily, hanging his head as he watched the silhouette of his girlfriend standing there on the opposite end of the shower curtain. He shook his head.
"There's...really not much to talk about, Rachel…"
He shut his eyes. There really wasn't.
What was he supposed to tell her? That he had gotten pissed off about Stewie finding someone else to be close to? He'd sound like a fucking psychopath! Because what kind of person actually drank themselves into a stupor over not having all the affection of an infant?
...Well...he did. He did that.
Jesus, maybe I am a fucking psychopath…
"I find that...hard to believe…"
The dog sighed again as he prepared for his earful.
"Because, it seemed to me, that you were angry...and you seemed to specifically be angry at...well...Stewie…"
Brian tried his best to enjoy the feeling of the water cascading down his body.
Goddamn this woman and her perceptiveness and persistence.
"You seemed mad at David, too, both of them, specifically."
The canine's eyes flew back open upon hearing that name.
David.
That was him. That was the man who Stewie had shifted all of his attention to.
He hated him.
He knew hardly anything about him, and yet, he hated him with a burning passion that made this water feel like the Arctic.
"Sooooo, am I right or am I just completely off base here, Brian?"
The dog wasn't sure what to say. Rachel was right, but he had no idea how to explain the situation to her. He couldn't.
He wouldn't.
He opted to not say anything. Sure, ignoring her would only cause her to worry more, but he really just wanted to enjoy this shower, right now…
"If you don't tell me otherwise, I'm going to have to take your silence as a 'yes'."
Brian's stomach lurched, and he felt like he wanted to hurl.
There were several moments of silence between them before he finally heard the woman sigh heavily.
"I'm just...confused...ok? Why be angry at them? Why wouldn't you just be happy that Stewie is doing better? What is it to you? What do you have against that boy?"
Too many questions. His head couldn't take it. The canine gripped his head tightly and clenched his teeth as he responded.
"Goddammit, Rachel! I already told you that I find Lois's parties more than a little annoying, and to tell you the truth, I honestly did not want to go! I was trying to be nice, though, but apparently, I ended up having a worse time than I expected to have!"
He had shouted his words, trying desperately to sound convincing, but the gasp that Rachel uttered upon the conclusion of his mini-rant only served to show that he had done nothing but shock her with yet another angry display.
God, somebody just put me out of my misery…
He inhaled and then exhaled deeply, trying to calm himself before continuing.
"I've never liked those family events. That's all that was. And, now, I feel like shit, and I just want to enjoy my shower in peace. Ok…?"
The woman didn't say anything, causing Brian to really start worrying.
"Don't get me wrong, I love my family! But, I don't know...I already wasn't in the best mood, and being around them didn't help matters at all…"
More silence, and then…
"Why?"
He heard the woman hum in an irritated fashion.
"Why were you in a bad mood? What's been going on with you?"
The dog stepped out from under the water's spray and leaned back against the wall. What could he say to that? Why couldn't Rachel just take that explanation and be happy with it!? It was closest to the truth that she was going to get! Because he had been kind of dreading going to Lois's. The reason for that had been Stewie, though. He hadn't wanted to deal with Stewie, but he had no way of knowing just how badly things were going to go. Stewie being happy...with someone else was the last thing he had been expecting, and it was probably the worst thing that could have happened.
...Because Brian knew that it was his own damn fault for driving Stewie away in the first place, and that's what, honestly, hurt the most.
I'm such a moron…
He closed his eyes and felt the sadness from last night welling back up. He was going to cry. He had to get rid of this woman.
"Rachel...please...drop it… I can't, right now…"
He fought to keep himself together as he awaited his girlfriend's response.
He didn't fall apart until after she had stomped out of the bathroom, slamming the door as she went.
Stewie wasn't sure how David managed to pull it off, but he was stunned when he came to find that he was spending the whole day with him.
Not to say he wasn't excited, however.
He liked to spend time with David. Compared to being at home, the man was a breath of fresh air. He was normal...in his own right. After he had confided in Stewie about some of the mess he'd personally been through, the boy found himself shocked that David was handling every burden so well.
He knew there was far more to it, but he never pressed the man about it. Instead, he was trying to figure out why David was so capable of moving on after spending most of his life with his ex wife and his kids. Just how was that possible? How was David able to do such a thing while Stewie was still struggling over the family dog?
Surely the man was just well adjusted, something Stewie wasn't familiar with or he was just so numb, it was hard to even notice the pain anymore.
David would swear up and down that there were reasons for some of the outcomes that led to this point in his life, but Stewie found no comfort in that.
Because if that notion were true, then there was a reason he and Brian seemed to grow apart. It was normal for friends to eventually leave, that was inevitable and that was just how life resumed, but Stewie wasn't shy about telling Brian they were different. What they had was special. At least, that's what he thought.
Perhaps that's why he had grown just as numb as David had. Forget being mature and letting go of an individual who clearly wanted to find bigger and better things. No, this man was numb, too and Stewie knew it.
And Stewie knew that feeling all too well. It was as though your mind and body just shut down. As though your own being could handle all the trauma it could, so it gave up by growing cold and distant. It was a way to keep people at arm's length. So there wouldn't be a risk of reawakening the mind from its slumber.
Blissful or not, Stewie wasn't fond of feeling numb.
No matter, though. Today was going to be a good day. David was going to take Stewie for ice cream at the typical ice cream parlor. The place that Brian always took the boy. Though he was still contemplating how David was able to do this.
"Didn't Lois freak out when you asked her?"
"Asked her what?" David glanced at Stewie from the corner of his eye while he kept his main focus on driving. It was morning still, so there were hardly any cars on the road. No one would come out this early unless they had to go to work. Perhaps David was still on work time since he often had to get up early in the morning to be on time for his volunteer hours.
Still...it wouldn't have killed to have a few extra hours of sleep.
"When you asked her if you could take me for ice cream." Stewie replied.
David grinned a little and went to fiddle with the heat so his car would get just a tad warmer. Stewie was fine with how the car felt now, but perhaps David's mind was in clockwork mode and he was doing the things that he'd normally do when his kids were in the car. "She was fine with it when I asked her. I suppose she's just happy you've found a friend."
Wretched woman, really.
Not that he was going to complain. After all, spending time with David was becoming a favorite pastime of his.
Still he couldn't help but feel remorseful for going to the ice cream parlor without Brian. That place had become such a staple in their lives, it felt almost wrong to go without the dog. While Stewie sat in his car seat...a car seat that didn't belong to him, he could feel his stomach curdling which alarmed the boy. This was how it happened before when Brian had first told him about Rachel. He felt an intense stomach pain that rattled him enough to the point even thinking about eating anything, let alone actually eating anything...made him sick.
He didn't want to go through that again.
He let out a tiny sigh before he leaned back against the car seat, his eyes watching the passing houses as David drived, doing so with extra caution. In regards to the precious cargo sitting in the passenger seat.
David was naturally a fatherly figure, but Stewie never thought of him in that manner. He was a friend to him, and Stewie was honestly still trying to decide if that's all he wanted him to be. Though he did have stray thoughts now and again of what would happen if he and David were to become something else. What would happen?
He sighed once more and closed his eyes, going back to the topic at hand of Brian. He couldn't do that to him, no matter how angry he was at the dog. He felt a pang of strong guilt for thinking of David in such a manner...not when Brian was still here. He had seen that look during the dinner last night, the look of shock and disbelief. It was written on Brian's face the whole night while Stewie put on such a show for him.
He had thought by being overly affectionate towards David, it would somehow even the score between them, but when the dog left...and when David finally left, Stewie had gone through a moment of panic. What had he done? He didn't want to lose Brian...that was never his intention. All he could remember was wanting validation and for the mutt to finally feel the hurt and the awful pain Stewie had felt for too long.
And by the look on the canine's face, he had accomplished what he set out to do.
Now...he was left with this stinging sensation as David drove. He gripped his stomach and curled a little, but he didn't make it obvious.
Why am I getting so worked up simply getting ice cream? Besides...I know Brian took Rachel. I know he has.
Eventually, the pain did settle and all that was left was slight discomfort that Stewie could brush aside and ignore. Besides, he had no time to think about Brian...he was with David and he was going to enjoy himself.
When the man pulled up to the ice cream parlor parking lot, he went to tend to Stewie who wasn't too familiar with the car seat, so David's assistance was necessary.
Pretty soon the boy was free and he hopped out of David's car and he ran to meet up with him. A big smile on his face while David smiled in return. He took the boy's small hand into his own and led Stewie inside the ice cream parlor. The boy was the first to rush to the counter. A habit of his...he always loved ice cream.
"...Brian…"
Stewie shook his head and directed his attention to David with that same big grin.
"Haha! Do you know what you want, kiddo?" David gently reached to pick up the boy, cradling him against his chest so Stewie could look at all the different flavors of ice cream. Perhaps he'd try something new today?
Stewie's eyes wandered over everything, his fingers clinging to David's shirt.
In the end, tradition reigned supreme. Strawberry ice cream with the graham cracker bits was what the boy always got whenever he and Brian came here. Even though the dog wasn't here to enjoy ice cream with him, Stewie would keep that tradition alive. So he told David what he wanted with a small smile.
And that's what David ordered for him.
While he waited, he gently laid his head against the man's shoulder, sighing softly while his mind went elsewhere. He remembered the first time he and Brian had come to this place. It had been a gorgeous summer day and there had been nothing to do. Stewie had the urge to go out, but Brian didn't share the mutual feeling. The dog simply wanted to stay cooped up in the house, alcohol in hand since he had once again...lost a chance on a date.
Stewie remembered growing frustrated and practically dragged the dog out the door by his collar.
They both drove around for what seemed like hours, listening to music that was perhaps a little too loud, but the boy had gotten so caught up in euphoria. Brian couldn't help but join along in the end. They both sang together in perfect harmony, both overcome with such bliss and happiness that time happened to drift fast.
It was towards the afternoon that Brian caught sight of the ice cream parlor, a little nook in the middle of nowhere.
Brian didn't even ask Stewie if he'd like to try the place, the dog was already pulling into the parking lot. With the boy's interests piqued, the biggest smile grew on Stewie's face as he unbuckled himself from his car seat and he rushed out of Brian's car.
What happened to be a rather bland and dull morning...turned out the best day Stewie could recall. Just being there with Brian...being close to him and sharing an intimate moment that they only knew.
"St-...?"
"Stewie?"
The boy's eyes went wide and he jerked his head up so he could face David. "Yeah, I'm sorry. What?"
David chuckled and presented the boy with his one scoop of ice cream. That...being in a cup of all things. The sight was a little nerving. Brian always let Stewie get a cone...but David was more of a cup guy, he supposed.
Though he grinned and took the ice cream where he felt David put him down.
"Go ahead and find a table for us."
Stewie nodded and went to the nearest table he could find. He wasn't going to go outside and take his usual seat. No...that was only meant for Brian and him. Not...David…
It didn't matter that Stewie was enjoying his time with the man, there were just some things that couldn't be touched and even if Brian and him never came back to this place together, the boy would still never go outside and sit at that table; it wouldn't feel right.
"You okay, kiddo?"
David came to sit down right across from Stewie, holding his own ice cream in hand, but he was looking at Stewie with a concerned facial expression, something that Stewie was far too familiarized with. It just seemed that's all David did...was worry about him.
"I'm alright, David." He simply said with a small smile.
He began to eat his ice cream enthusiastically, not wanting David to get an impression the boy wasn't enjoying himself. He certainly was...he liked David. He liked him a lot. It was just hard to be in this place and not expect Brian to show up.
David watched Stewie for a moment before he smiled in return towards the boy and began to eat his own ice cream. It seemed the man was more of simple kind of guy.
A scoop of chocolate ice cream with blueberries on top.
The sight did look appetizing to Stewie since he hadn't known of anyone who would only eat chocolate ice cream, but he had reason to think it over so much.
He knew that he was just trying to use it as a distraction. He didn't want to think about Brian so much.
"Would you like to try mine?" David suddenly asked.
Stewie nodded happily and went to open his mouth, being the natural flirt that he was. Of course David must have found that adorable as he scooped a bit of ice cream with some blueberries mixed in. Stewie closed his mouth over the small spoon once he felt it against his tongue and he let David slide the spoon out slowly from his mouth.
Such a sensual moment.
The contact of cold ice cream met the boy's taste buds and he let the flavor of the fruit engulf him. "Hmmm...it's really good. Not bad, actually. The blueberries certainly add something."
David laughed and resumed to eat his ice cream. "They're blueberries from Maine. So they're small with just the right amount of tart and sweetness."
Stewie snickered and gently extended his arms out so David could have a bite of his ice cream he wanted.
And it seemed like the man did wish to try some of the boy's ice cream because he didn't refuse that opportunity. Stewie watched David dip his spoon into his frozen dessert and grab just enough along with the most essential part that complimented the ice cream so well.
With expectant eyes, the boy stared at David as the man ate the bite.
"Huh." David began, licking his lips a little once he had finished, "That's actually quite good."
This whole moment was so humble. It was...so modest that Stewie almost felt nervous, but...he was happy.
He grinned at David, though and the man grinned back.
"Mm...okay...David isn't Brian. I'm happy with him...so if Brian is happy with Rachel, there's no reason why I can't be happy with David."
The shower had helped. Thank goodness, it had actually helped!
Brian was feeling better if not still a tad nauseous. He certainly didn't feel as...dirty as he had only a few minutes earlier, and he had mostly recovered from his little breakdown.
...Mostly.
As he stepped out of the shower, he still had a lot of confusing, and at times conflicting thoughts, running through his head, but right now, the main thing on his mind was just how terrible he felt about snapping at Rachel, the one person who was actually still trying to help him and hear him out.
No, he couldn't tell her everything that was going on, but shit, he didn't have to be a fucking ass about it, right? Of course. That shouldn't even be a question. What had she done to deserve such wrongful treatment?
Why do you insist on hurting everyone who actually gives a fuck about you?
The canine shook his head, ignoring that thought as he began the process of drying off. He made quick work of the task as his mind remained focused on his girlfriend. Was she still here? Oh god...what if she had left!? What if he had upset her enough to leave the apartment? What if she was out there venting to some...other guy?
He had to find her.
As soon as he was no longer dripping water everywhere, the dog rushed out of the bathroom in search of Rachel.
It didn't take him long to find her.
Brian couldn't help but sigh in relief the moment he caught sight of his girl standing in the kitchen. It looked like she was just...cleaning the stove.
The guilt was coming back, and he could feel himself getting nervous as he slowly approached her.
He opened his mouth, but for a while no words came out. After struggling for a little while, he finally closed his mouth, steeling himself before finally just sighing as he uttered out one simple word.
"Rachel…"
The woman froze, but she did not turn to look at him, causing the dog to start panicking slightly.
"Rachel, I'm sorry. I wasn't...feeling well. I didn't mean to snap at you. I've just...had a lot on my mind, recently…"
Rachel just remained standing there.
Silent.
Shit! I've really done it, now!
His paw began shaking as he reached out towards her.
"I shouldn't have acted like that. I'm sorry. You know I'm so crazy about you, baby…"
The woman finally turned her head to look at him, a pensive look in her eyes as she responded.
"You're...doing a really pitiful job of keeping the feeling mutual, Brian…"
The dog's breath shuddered as he began drawing closer to his love.
"I...know…"
He sighed and hung his head.
"Dammit!"
The rest came out in a whisper more aimed at himself than at her.
"Why do I always screw these things up…?"
He looked back up at Rachel.
The woman was frowning, expression growing ever more sympathetic as she dropped what she was doing and turned fully toward her boyfriend.
It was enough to show Brian that he might still have a chance at fixing this, and in that moment, it was the most relieving thing he'd ever seen. He forced himself to keep eye contact with Rachel as he continued.
"I...I just want to get away for a little while...away from everything but you. I think some time alone...where we can focus on just...you know...us… That'll do me some real good. I need to refocus on what's really important here."
Rachel's lips upturned slightly, and she began taking steps towards the dog.
She nodded her head before kneeling down and taking Brian's paw in her hand, giving it a tight, supportive squeeze.
"Well...we do have that trip coming up, right?"
Hope was welling in Brian's heart. It was so overwhelming that he had to actually fight back tears as he quickly nodded his head and smiled at the love of his life.
"It can't come soon enough…"
She smiled at him, an adorable chuckle pouring from her lips as she nodded along with him.
Brian couldn't help but chuckle, too.
This felt good.
This felt right.
"I'm so sorry, Rach. I really want to make it up to you."
The woman closed her eyes and exhaled slowly, seeming to take in those words before giving his paw one last squeeze and standing back up.
"I believe you."
Brian's tail started to wag, prompting another laugh from his girl, and they both remained like that for several seconds, just looking at each other and giggling, the tension that had been consuming the apartment only moments earlier quickly evaporating into the air.
Eventually, though, Rachel did look at him seriously once more.
"I'm here when you want to talk. Ok? You don't have to deal with whatever it is that is bothering you alone."
She let go of his paw.
"I'm here for you, Brian. We have to be in this together."
The dog nodded again before reaching back out and retaking Rachel's hand, placing a kiss on the back of it. His gaze then turned back up towards her as he looked at her with all the care and affection he could muster.
"I love you."
Rachel leaned over and kissed the top of his head before starting to pet it.
"I love you, too."
And, with that, the woman turned around and made her way back over to the stove where she resumed her task of cleaning.
Brian remained standing there for a moment longer before exiting the kitchen and making his way into the living room. He took a seat on the couch and contemplated trying to find something on television to watch.
That had gone really well!
Better than he had any right to expect…
...And yet, as genuinely happy as he was feeling, right now, he couldn't escape one slightly unnerving fact.
During that entire exchange with his girlfriend, one person in particular simply refused to exit his mind.
The smile left his lips.
Stewie…
Things just might be alright with Rachel. They might actually have a bright and happy future ahead of them. He honestly believed that.
...But...how much did that really count for when Stewie, no matter what, continued to remain his primary concern?
...Would that ever not be the case?
Did he want it to be…?
Car rides were always a favorite pastime to Stewie.
With some swing music playing in the background and the occasional sing alongs, Stewie always felt that driving was strictly something only he and Brian would do together. At least in that kind of fashion where there was no one to judge and it was just them.
Stewie wondered if they'd ever do that again.
Was their friendship...their relationship over?
The boy wouldn't be at all surprised if Brian cut ties completely; what with the way Stewie acted at the dinner. Even though the dog deserved it, every ounce of it...the mutt deserved it all, Stewie couldn't help but feel so guilty, so remorseful for his actions.
He had only meant to teach the dog a lesson, not make him look the way he had that whole night.
Well, ok, that wasn't entirely true, but he had at least expected to feel more...satisfied after forcing the canine to experience his pain...
He looked...so betrayed...a look Stewie had never seen from him before.
Yet the kid just kept on going, even going so far as to being physical with David right in front of Brian...like the dog had done to him.
Dammit! That had been the whole point! He had purposefully stooped down to Brian's level!
Why was that pained look of Brian's so etched into his mind then?
He sighed.
He should have been better than that and not been so petty. He could have taken the situation with the dog and Rachel...in a much healthier way. Yet the boy couldn't quite push the blame onto himself entirely. Brian had acted out of line as well. He who had flaunted Rachel like a trophy when he brought her to the house for the very first time.
He...who had known good and damn well they had sex together...he who had tossed Stewie aside when he had fulfilled Brian's overall purpose.
That must have been all the dog thought of him. A body he could lust over when he felt rejected...a body that would never refuse him...a body he could love...a body he mercilessly disposed of.
...And yet...here he was still feeling sorry for him...
Stewie's stomach had been hurting all morning, but thinking about Brian in such a way made it worse. He figured that was why David was driving around Quahog and passing through neighborhoods. Because Stewie hadn't wanted to talk this morning and he didn't feel particularly chatty right now, either. They spent the majority of the day tending to some errands David must have needed to run, anyway. It didn't entirely bother Stewie. He simply enjoyed David's company, though, he couldn't quite shake the feeling that the man should have been more conscientious when planning out their day together.
He didn't think too much on that, though.
He just kept drifting to Brian and that night where it all happened. The night where Stewie felt the most loved, the night he had Brian and thought he had him forever afterwards. Despite the struggle, Stewie looked back on that night fondly. When the dog kissed him and touched him, there was so much love there...in those cherishes. He recalled when Brian was kissing him along his neck and shoulders how happy he was because he was underneath the very person he treasured most.
Brian was treating him how Stewie had only ever dreamed about.
The dog had loved him that night. He dearly...and truly loved him.
How could you...fake that?
Even if it had been a lie, Stewie wanted to keep up with that notion the dog loved him the way the boy loved him.
Though they would never be anything, the kid would remember Brian's voice whispering such sweet words in his ear.
"Stewie...I love you…my god, I love you…"
The boy suddenly felt tears in the corners of his eyes...just remembering those words, how it made Stewie freeze and dare to say anything back. Brian had looked at him with those drunken eyes, but...there was clarity and realization there. Perhaps Brian knew he was having sex with Stewie and not just acting out on impulses.
Stewie wanted to believe that. He wanted to hold on to that for as long as he could.
The boy would never be able to confront Brian about it. After all, he knew that the mutt would never want to talk about it again.
It was quite difficult to bottle everything up, the way the boy felt. He wanted to tell David...he felt he could, but how would the man actually take it? Stewie would feel like a damn fool if the man didn't believe him...that he had sex with the family dog and harbored strong romantic feelings for him, even after how Brian treated him.
He sighed again.
He was so trapped.
He was in constant turmoil, but he relished in that misery.
He would continue to feel the way he felt because it was a reminder that what happened between him and Brian actually happened and that was worth the pain.
He just...couldn't let that go...no matter how much it hurt. He had been so happy then...
And the boy would never tell himself he should let it go because he knew a part of him never would. That would mean letting go of Brian, letting go of the hope that maybe he'd come back...maybe he'd wake up one morning and be awestruck that…
...How he could be with her and not him.
Stewie wanted desperately for a miracle.
The boy wasn't even religious, but he prayed to anyone that would hear for Brian to come to his senses and just accept that he was loved by someone...who he didn't want that love from.
Stewie's eyes went wide. Brian didn't want his love because he wasn't the person the dog felt he needed.
A suddenly realization hit the boy hard in the stomach and he felt the nausea slowly coming back and for a moment, so did his panic.
He'd had panic attacks before, but this was coming faster and it was worse than all the others. He curled into a ball in the car seat, gripping his yellow shirt tightly while he tried to keep his face from contorting to show the pain he felt; he didn't want David asking him irrelevant questions.
No...his stomach wasn't hurting because of the ice cream, no...he wasn't feeling home sick, no...he wasn't hungry. He was hurt, he was in pain, he was in love with someone who didn't love him.
No...he was sick for Brian. He wanted Brian, he needed Brian.
Why did he have to need Brian!?
He softly groaned and leaned his head back against the car seat, frowning softly while his eyes darted back and forth to the many buildings as David passed them. He focused on the colors, finding them more vibrant this afternoon...or was it later on? Stewie didn't really care about the time. He just wanted to feel anything other than the dreadful panic.
That was when he noticed a familiar car.
A Prius...of all things.
Stewie's eyes watched that car, careful...attentive...contemplating.
"...Brian…?"
He could have sworn that as the car that was passing David's, he saw the dog...and for a moment, time just stood still and Stewie followed with his eyes.
He was always there.
He would always be. Right. There.
Yeah...that was Brian's car.
How could he ever forget that blasted vehicle?
Stewie had spent much of his lifetime in that car, always in the passenger seat even though it was recommended that the boy be in the back.
Brian always let him stay in the passenger seat.
He always treated the boy as though he were a peer, an adult...quite a confounding being, Brian was in his best moments.
Confusing...selfish, but selfless. Brian was many things, but Stewie loved that animal more than he should. More than what was considered healthy.
By then, Brian's car had vanished...quite a sign...though it had been the car that left his vision, he felt that it was also the dog that was disappearing. The canine was leaving him and Stewie was powerless to stop it.
Brian could call that night a mistake all he wanted, but Stewie would never feel that way and that was where the defining line came. The boy felt differently and Brian couldn't accept it or rather he didn't want to.
"Whatever, Brian…it happened...own up to it…"
Stewie furiously wiped his eyes before looking towards David who was focusing on the road. He was lightly tapping his fingers on his steering wheel, humming softly. He must have felt the boy's eyes watching him because he turned to look at Stewie and he smiled.
"You alright?"
The boy nodded and reached to take David's free hand into his own, gently squeezing his hand with those tiny fingers.
"I'm...perfectly fine, David."
Liar.
David couldn't replace Brian. He'd never be able to fill the dog's shoes...he'd never be able to grip Stewie's heart the way the mutt had. Though Stewie tried very hard to give David the benefit of the doubt, but the boy was too mature and perceptive to see past his own lies.
There was nothing this man could do that would make Stewie fall helplessly in love with him on the level Brian had...no matter how much he wish that someone could come and make him forget all about that dumb mutt.
No...only Brian could do that.
And sadly...the dog had done just that without even realizing. That mutt had stolen Stewie's heart and perhaps eaten it. A metaphorical way of implying the dog had swallowed his very soul and refused to give it up.
Only Brian could get away with something so callous and cruel…
A part of Stewie knew he loved him all the more for it.
He grinned in David's direction, squeezing that hand one more time.
From there, it was silence as David continued to drive, needing to take care of more important business. Stewie didn't mind tagging along.
He never would mind being in the presence of this kind and caring man.
...But…
He sniffled.
"Brian...come back…"
Brian and Rachel were heading out to lunch...at 3:30 in the afternoon.
Truthfully, Brian wasn't really feeling too terribly hungry even though it was getting later on in the day. His stomach still hadn't completely settled from his night of drinking. But, Rachel had offered to take him out for a nice, late lunch, and well...he just wanted to remain on good terms with her, right now.
They were cruising around downtown, now, looking for a decent location to stop and eat.
Rachel turned and smiled at him.
"What are you feeling for lunch today, hun?"
Brian gave a squeeze to his steering wheel, eyes continuing to wander over the buildings as they passed them by.
"Not too sure… I think I'm up for pretty much anything, right now."
It wasn't true. Brian would have much preferred staying in for the day, but he knew that Rachel was just trying to cheer him up, take his mind off of his troubles. He couldn't turn that down.
God, she was so...sweet to him…
He felt a hand being placed over his paw, prompting him to break his attention away from the world outside and refocus his attention on the woman in the car with him.
So sweet…
"Do you feel better now that you've gotten out?"
The dog hesitated a moment before finally smiling at her, paw moving to take hold of her hand.
"You know…"
Keep her happy.
"I… I actually do."
The grin on the woman's face spread wider.
She bought it.
"I'm really glad to hear that. I was...worried about you this morning…"
A pang of guilt shot through the canine as he squeezed her hand reassuringly.
"I know… I'm sorry, babe."
At least that was the truth. Rachel didn't deserve all the grief that he seemed so determined to bring her. He was trying. He really and truly was trying his damndest to make this all work. He lo- He cared about her a lot, after all.
He genuinely felt happy when she accepted his apology, and it was a relief when they then fell into some mindless but comfortable chit-chat as they continued to search for a restaurant that struck their fancy for the, now, evening.
The mood in the car shifted to something much lighter as they discussed various topics and exchanged a few stories, the sounds of mutual laughter echoing throughout the vehicle.
It wasn't until Brian found himself stuck behind a particularly slow driver that he was finally able to pull his attention away from his intoxicating partner.
"Oh, come on! Are you serious, right now?"
Whoever this person was, they were driving a full ten miles below the goddamn speed limit, and the dog was growing increasingly more impatient with each passing minute. It didn't help that he had already been down this street, essentially grinding his and Rachel's search for a lunch (though by now they might as well just say they were getting dinner) spot to a halt.
He didn't have time for this!
It took pretty much all his willpower to not start hammering on his horn, but he was too concerned about appearing too angry in front of his girlfriend, right now. They were having a good time. He couldn't let this asshole ruin that.
If he had been alone, though…
Brian saw an opportunity to pass the vehicle and jumped on it, moving over into an empty lane on the right before accelerating. As he was passing by, he turned to look over at the car, hoping to catch a glimpse of the jerk who had cost him so much time.
He looked through the window.
His heart stopped.
Stewie…
His eyes went wide, and his jaw dropped as he caught the infant staring back at him.
The boy looked so...sad, a far cry from how obnoxiously content he had seemed the previous night. It was enough to cause Brian to begin questioning...everything. He could feel his chest starting to tighten, an overwhelming urge starting to grip at him, an urge to leap over and just...be with that boy.
It all happened in an instant. Brian had to keep accelerating. He couldn't risk Rachel noticing.
They were having a good time.
They were happy.
Dammit, Stewie!
He quickly turned down another street just to try and get away from the child who seemed to always be right on the edge of his mind.
There.
Always there.
God… Why…?
He shook his head, trying desperately to clear it.
God, he couldn't keep doing this. Rachel deserved better. He had to find some way to take his mind off that goddamn kid!
"Hey, Rach?"
The woman responded, tone just as chipper as before, a clear indication that she hadn't yet picked up on Brian's mood shift.
"Yeah?"
The dog cleared his throat and forced his best smile.
"...How would you feel about going on that trip a little earlier? I just… I just really can't wait to get away with you."
The woman raised her eyebrow slightly.
"Earlier?"
But, the inquisitive expression was soon washed away as she just smiled big and nodded enthusiastically.
"Sure! I think… I think that'll be great! I'm really looking forward to getting away with you, too, honey."
She leaned over and kissed his cheek, an action that usually made Brian's heart do a flip, but this time...his stomach just lurched.
The tightness in his chest persisted.
"Awesome. I'll just run back by your place, then. Let's leave tonight."