Rey awoke in a bed that felt unfamiliar – it was softer than any bed she had ever slept in before. It was definitely softer than the metal bar she was sleeping on in the cell block. The smell of musky Ryoos clung to the pillow and that's when Rey remembered where she was: She was in Kylo Ren's bed.
Everything that'd happened flooded back to her. How Hux had captured her and dragged her kicking and screaming back to his chambers. The troopers had chained her to the chair in his dining area before he'd made them leave. Hux had threatened her, but she'd remained bold enough to try and use a Jedi Mind Trick on him. The harsh punch Hux rewarded her for her disobedience remained fresh in Rey's memory. It was hazy but she did remember Ben barging in and saving her. Now that would be something impossible for her to block out.
She opened her eyes slowly to see Kylo Ren sleeping in a chair, which was propped against his door. She did recall Kylo saying he would be on guard duty in case Hux came back, but she hadn't imagined his idea of guard duty was sleeping.
Her eyes glided over Kylo: it was odd to see Ren so serene, never before had Kylo looked so vulnerable – even innocent. Rey took her opportunity to just drink in the details of his slumbering state. The way his thick hair fell in front of his nose, it was like dark curtains of silk. Rey noticed his hair made soft shadows against his cheeks, it contrasted his skin making him look paler. Kylo's ivory skin appeared angelic, as the dull light reflected in a way that made it glow youthfully.
For a long time she soaked in the details of his sleeping habits. Rey watched his nostrils flare, which matched the rhythm of his rising and falling chest. Rey found herself watching his lip more than she liked to admit. He was a silent sleeper, he didn't even let a snore escape. Every so often Kylo's lip would twitch, and Rey liked to imagine he was dreaming about kissing her. She knew she was being silly, but she still wished it.
Her thoughts were a little devious, but she wondered what Kylo looked like without a shirt on. Many times in training she'd felt his muscles under those thick black robes – they were strong from her recollection. Only a few days ago one of the officers had opened her hatch during meal time to ask her if she'd seen Kylo Ren with his shirt off. It seemed a disturbing question, but the officer told her there had been a rumor percolating for a long time that someone saw Kylo Ren take his shirt off in the shower. They said Kylo Ren had an eight pack. That Kylo Ren was shredded.
Rey had affirmed the officer that Kylo Ren had never taken his shirt off in front of her. To the chagrin of the officer, the girl had apologized for her assumption, and left without another word. In that moment it had been inexorable but Rey had chuckled, as she tried to make light of the questions. But Rey's own personal curiosity was opened, for she herself wondered what was beneath those robes he always wore.
By the gods, she was crazy. Here she was, a prisoner being held for information, and she was wondering what her captor looked like without his shirt on. She probably was losing her sanity, but Kylo Ren was hard to be sane around. He was Force Sensitive just like her, and there was a static energy between them that she had never felt with anymore before. Being Force Sensitive was an apparent gift that very few people in the galaxy possessed, she had tried to attribute her attraction to his connection with the Force. But it wasn't long until she realized it wasn't his connection to the Force that made him fascinating to her.
There was something more magnetic about him. Part of it was his pain: the pain of lonely they both kindled in their hearts, yet they both wanted to extinguish that suffering. She found him very attractive and there was a hidden charm that existed under his rough exterior.
Out of nowhere, Kylo jolted awake and his eyes looked around aimlessly, but Rey saw terror buried in his irises as his gaze shifted around wildly. He must have woke from a disturbing dream or nightmare, just thinking that made her empathetic. Nightmares were a problem she had been plagued by back on Jakku – she attributed it to the constant unrest she felt about living alone.
Finally Ren's eyes focused on her, as if he'd been shaken from his comatosed state. There was still fear lingering in his stare – it was fleeting the longer his gaze was fixed on her.
"Were you having a nightmare?" Rey asked cautiously; she didn't want to intrude too much, but she wanted to soothe his pain if she could.
"It was nothing," Kylo confirmed as he placed his saber back on his belt and he rose from his chair. "It seems Hux isn't interested in retaliating," Ren sounded very haughty as he spoke – as if he was pleased with his ability to put off Hux.
Rey pulled herself from his bed and with a slow pace she went to stand in front of him. She saw his eyes flicker around her face, before they settled upon her cheek. "What happened to your cheek," Ren inquired as he ran his gloved hand over the right side of her face. Rey winced as a sharp, stinging pain shot through her whole body.
"Hux punched me for trying to use a Jedi Mind Trick on him," she gave him a half smirk.
Kylo's face became grave. "I'm sorry I wasn't there earlier. I wish I could have been there to stop him." There was a coldness in his tone that Rey had not experienced in a long time – since he'd tried to bring her closer to the Dark Side.
The memories of Kylo mentally torturing General Hux were still painted in mind. The color of the General's face had been unnatural and the sounds of his puny gurgles of pain still echoed in skull. She'd forgotten of the darkness that still existed in Kylo – it had been days since she'd thought of him as a being of Dark Side. To her they were both now trapped in limbo – this realm of uncertainty.
But Kylo had crossed the line when it came to Hux. Even though she hated Hux, she didn't see the need to kill him. She would have preferred to land a few good punches on him to teach him a lesson. Instead she'd been subjected to the burning desire to kill that flowed through Kylo. Rey herself was reminded of what the Dark Side of the Force was like – and it was cruel, fiery hatred.
She pulled herself from her own train of thought to reply. "I'm fine, I had worse things happen to me while I was on Jakku. There were many times four of the junk lord's goons would try to mug me for my rations. I can promise you, they always limped away empty handed."
Kylo sighed and a ghostly smile danced across his lips. "I believe you, you're tougher than you look. But you should let me help you with that mark on your face."
Ren took off his gloves and gingerly put one hand on her cheek. Rey found herself leaning into his hand even through the pain, as if she was craving the feeling of his skin on hers. She felt heat emanating from his hand as if his palm was like warm from a spring – it was rejuvenating, refreshing.
Her eyes closed as she basked in the warmth from his hand. That's when she felt his other hand slide behind her head to tangle itself in her hair, and his lips descended upon hers. His lips were as soft as a blanket, but they were also firm as they were crushing against hers with want.
Rey forced her tongue to snake into his mouth where their tongues collided together. Their tongues clashed and taunted each other like children playing. She loved when he would nibble on her lower lip – Rey couldn't even help herself from letting out a soft moan escape her lips. Every time she would run her tongue over his upper lip Rey could feel Kylo's hands quiver and he would release a throaty growl. She couldn't keep herself from smiling in their kiss for she had found his weakness.
He tasted wonderful like sweet fruit, which only drove her to kiss him with more fervor. The Force energy and heat from his hand was electrifying and made everything more sensational. It was as if every fiber of her being was twice as alive – Rey had never felt like this before as coils of intense pleasure curled in her stomach.
He finally pulled away, and soon the heat he'd left behind diminished. Kylo's heavy breath tickled her cheek for a few seconds. Even Rey found herself near panting from the effects of their kiss.
"It's gone," he announced; Rey could hear the satisfaction in his voice. She slowly opened her eyes and looked straight into his dark irises. Kylo Ren was like a living contradiction: when they had first met, he seemed like a stony, inhospitable man, but on the inside he was fierce, ardent even.
Rey ran her hand over where Hux had hit her – sure enough she couldn't feel any more pain. Almost immediately Rey found herself gasping in surprise.
"Was that an ability of the Force," she questioned. She'd never heard of the Jedi being able to heal others. She could feel the calming aura of the Force but she'd never been certain if it could be focused to mend and fix. If it could, she wanted to learn how to heal people, that's a skill that had an infinite amount of uses.
She saw Kylo's lips pursed together tightly before he spoke, "I could teach Force Healing, but I'm not comfortable with the idea of teaching it."
"Why?" Rey pressed.
Kylo sighed and she watched him run his hand through his hair nervously. "It's a power of the Light Side. I'm not supposed to be using benevolence to heal wounds. Dark Side users focus on their pain to heal themselves, we don't heal others, healing others generally comes at a great cost."
So Kylo Ren was willingly using the Light Side of the Force? Did that mean he was slowly renouncing the Dark Side? Part of her wanted to ask, to know the truth, but instead she allowed hope to flicker within her heart. Still Rey couldn't stop herself from allowing a thin smirk to play on her face. "You used the Light Side?"
"I don't feel obliged to answer that question," Ren said incisively. He pulled his arms back toward himself; she could feel Kylo closing himself off to her. Internally, Rey felt herself near panicking – her intention had not been to upset him.
"Kylo I wasn't trying to push," Rey's reply was hasty and she grasped onto his arm. "I just want to learn how to heal people. I want the Force to be useful to others not just to myself."
His eyes shifted up and down her face and body, it was as if his very gaze was undressing her to the bone. "I'll teach you how to heal, if you so desire, but on one condition," he said as a small, crooked smile ignited upon his lips. Part of her was beginning to think he had something wick in store for her.
Rey found herself gulping – she hated falling prey to nervousness. "What is this one condition?" Her heart was starting to beat a bit faster every second she was not given an answer.
"You must eat breakfast with me," he replied with his cheeky smile still planted on his lips.
"Damn you, I thought it was going to be something serious," she mumbled back. "Of course I'll eat breakfast with you. I'm starving," she agreed.
Their breakfast consisted of some eggs that Kylo said were from a bird native to Kashyyyk and fruit that originated from Takodana. Rey had never tasted anything so good on Jakku – she couldn't deny it, here on this base, she felt like royalty. It was odd to think that Kylo Ren got this treatment all the time – like he was some prince amongst peons – the thought was astounding.
All morning her and Ben were swapping stories about their childhood. Rey really liked the one about how Ben's mother forbidding Han from teaching Ben to fly a ship. But of course, his father taught him in secret, and made Ben promise not to say a word. Naturally, his mother found out on her own and scolded the both of them.
Rey had never seen Kylo smile or laugh so much. It seemed like he'd had such an interesting childhood, even if his parents were busy. And even when his parents hadn't been there, Chewie had remained near by. She could sense some bitterness from being neglected, but nothing as extreme as his hatred for the time he spent at Luke's Academy.
Listening to Ben's childhood made her realize how she'd never really been a child at all. She'd been forced to grow up too young – there was not a single fun memory that stuck out in her mind. For her it had been survival, and learning how to make her life bearable.
Another revelation had crossed her mind – if Ben had a semi-decent upbringing – than his time at Luke's Academy must have been harrowing. She really didn't know the exact details other than the apprentices at Luke's Academy had disliked him and been jealous of his talent with the Force. It must have been miserable if the Dark Side had seemed like a viable option.
Rey was pulled from her thoughts as Kylo took her hand in his. The way he held her hand was protective and gentle – something that seemed foreign to her. No one had ever cared for her the way Ben seemed to now.
She wasn't sure where they both stood. What was this that they had? Was this just a passionate affair? Maybe Kylo Ren tried to seduce all of his female prisoners to fill his physical desire. He was attractive, young and she was finding he could be charming, when he wanted.
Part of her was itching to know if there was anything genuine between them. Rey wasn't a women that would allow some guy to take advantage of her. Back on Jakku she'd avoided getting involved with anyone for that reason. It was a very common thing on Jakku for men and women to take advantage of each other's trust and feelings, and one of them would rob the other blind.
"I've arranged for you to say in my quarters," Kylo's voice cut through her own reflection.
"Permanently?" There was no way to hold back her shock. She wasn't certain how she felt living in Kylo's room. Of course she enjoyed every second she spent with him recently, but Rey already had this odd notion she was intruding on his personal privacy.
"Yes, I won't allow Hux access to you again," he replied. "This is for your safety."
"That's kind of you, Ben, but I don't want to invade your personal space. There isn't enough room for the both of us. Where will you sleep?"
"You can have my bed, I'll sleep in my desk chair," Ren insisted. Rey knew he was trying to be a gentleman, but she wasn't accepting of the idea.
"I won't let you do that. I can't sleep in there," this time her tone sounded more irritated than she'd intended. Doubt was still plaguing her and she couldn't get passed it. She wanted to know if Kylo Ren actually cared about her, or was he just going to keep her around to get lucky and then he would toss her to the wolves.
He still could do that, there was not guarantees when it came to romantic feels. But from what she'd learned of Kylo Ren, he seemed to be a man of his word. He'd kept his word to protect her, he'd kept his word to train her and he hadn't tried to steal the map from her, but Rey wanted his reassurance.
Kylo's brow knit together in confusion. "Why not, is something wrong?" He asked firmly. "Do you want to live in your cell where Hux will come back and exact his revenge on you?"
Rey looked down at the table for she felt a little threatened under Kylo's scrutinizing gaze. "I've always lived alone, I'm accustom to it. I've never lived with anyone before – I'm sorry that I'm just a little uncertain. And you seem so blasé about me living with you, do you always invite female prisoners to live in you quarters with you or something?"
She saw Ren stiffen and his eyes became hard and glassy, as if her words had offended him. "You think I force vulnerable female prisoners to stay with me? And then, what, I have my way with them? I might be part of the Dark Side, but I wouldn't rape a woman, you must have a very low opinion of me if you think I would do that. I'm doing this to keep Hux from coming back for you, but if you want to sleep in that cell, I can arrange for that."
Kylo sounded very disgusted, his face contorted into an expression of disdain. Rey tried her best not to shrink beneath his withering stare.
"I don't think you take advantage of women, and I am grateful for what you are doing. I'm not trying to be rude, Ben," Rey took a deep breath. By the gods, she still sounded like an unappeasable ass.
"On Jakku when two people lived together it... It meant you were very vulnerable. People used to rob their significant other all the time and run away to start a new life. It would destroy their lives, some people would become so poor they would sell themselves into indentured servitude or worse. I know this isn't the exact same situation, but I just want to know you aren't going to try and take advantage of this situation. I guess, I would feel more secure knowing what I mean to you?"
Ren's gaze softened slightly before he spoke. "I will respect your space, and your feelings whatever they might be regarding myself. As for my feelings – I've never felt completely smitten with someone before, but you would be the first." Ren paused for a second to clear his throat. "I don't normally kiss and tell, but I want to put your mind at ease. I've only been intimate with one person before you. So you can be assured, I haven't been sleeping around."
It was plain to see, Kylo Ren was trying his best not to blush or be awkward. She was surprised at how open he was being – he could have easily kept the truth to himself. There was something even more endearing about him admitting how he felt.
Rey absorbed everything he said before she decided to ask a question. "I don't want to pry, but who was this person, if I may ask?"
Kylo rolled his dark brown eyes, and Rey suppressed a chuckle. "You're too curious for your own good," he said. "But if you must know, she was a female officer here on Starkiller Base. Every other week I would infiltrate locations where I thought Luke was hiding, and often times this woman was my pilot. She caught my attention frequently, with her witty banter and her kindness to our injured soldiers. I was more cold-hearted back then, and something about her almost made me feel alive again."
Rey could tell Kylo was acutely embarrassed of what was coming next because he wasn't making as much eye contact with her as he usually did. "I couldn't leisurely speak with her, so I found reasons to talk with her. She was assigned to be my personal pilot, and my mission reporter. We spent a lot of time talking because she gave me every detail I wanted to know about our missions. I started inviting her to dine with me, and one night after a little more drinking than usual, she became very, ugh – frisky and things became intimate."
"It wasn't more than a few days after I discovered she'd been planted by Hux. Her job had been to seduce me, and the General was trying to have me impregnate the girl, so he could use that child to bring me under his reign," he admitted.
Rey felt her eyes widen just a little, that was quite a wicked plan. "What happened? Obviously Hux's plan failed."
Kylo nodded in response. "It did indeed. The girl never became pregnant. After that, I vowed to never be weak or distracted again by my physical desires..." She heard his voice trail off as he finished his declaration.
Rey felt sorrow twisting in her stomach, for he had fallen prey to someone using his feelings against him. She'd never put herself in a compromising position before for that very reason – she couldn't afford to hurt herself any further. The pain of being alone – thinking her family didn't want her, it already ate away at her esteem.
"I've been unable to resist my feeling for you. You're different from all the women I've met," Kylo's words sliced through her thoughts like a saber. "It's like you're inherently good natured and that's a rare quality."
Rey didn't know what to say, but she said the only thing that was ringing in her mind. "There is no way to know what the future holds, but I don't want to let you go. I will do everything in my power to convince you that the Light Side is where you belong – you belong there, with me."
Her eyes remained glued to Ben's, while her heart was fluttering out of control and for a second she thought it might burst out of her rib cage. She was truly too honest, but he'd laid the truth before her. He deserved nothing less. She had deemed the truth was enough to not turn him away – Rey presumed it would strengthen their bond.
His dark irises were met hers, and there was an intensity as fierce as fire in them. "Everyday you make the Light Side seem more appealing," he said, but there was something very coquettish in the way he said it. Rey felt the hope that had settled in her heart rise again. By the gods, Kylo Ren was making her hope like she has never hoped before.
[A/N]: Hey guys, I just want to apologize for the late update. I was crazy busy this week after getting back, but I really hope this chapter was still up to standard. Please let me know what you guess thought! I really enjoyed the feedback from the last few chapters, and I could really use some more. I've noticed a lot of people are unfollowing the story so I could really use people's honest opinions. Thank you megumisakura, bhut, Sabrino21, reylo4ever, SaintsFan1, firerosedreamer67, Lady Krystalyn, fabercastel, DaniLV, DiamondSapphire, Nila, and Sweet Summer Sunset. Thank you all you lovely readers, have a wonderful weekend! :)