Christian looks at Ana and fails to realize that he is frowning. Ana takes this as a sign that he isn't happy, and she starts to frown too. There is silence between them before Ana speaks up.

"Say something" she says softly, fear starting to build up inside of her. Not fear that her husband will harm her, but fear that he is unhappy with her news. He puts his hand on his forehead as if he's trying to process the news. He still doesn't say anything, but he takes her hand and they walk over to the stairs and sit. Christian leaves go of her hand and puts both hands on his face, rubbing hard and thinking about what he is going to say. Ana is silent. She waits for him to speak. She looks down at her hands in her lap a few times, taking turns glancing up at him.

"Pregnant" he says softly.

"Yeah"

Christian looks over at his wife, and she can see fear in his eyes. "When?"

"I just found out an hour ago, at my appointment with Dr Greene"

"Dr Greene" he repeats her.

"I'm two months along"

Christian continues to process this information internally rather than share the moment with his wife. This makes Ana sad. All of the progress they've made over the years with communication, even with the hard stuff, seems to be fading. This is nothing like the first time Ana had to share the news of an unexpected pregnancy with her husband. When she was pregnant with Teddy, they were young and they were newlyweds. She and Christian spoke briefly of maybe having children, but not that soon after getting married. Christian was furious and afraid that he wasn't going to be a good father. He was also disappointed with the prospect of having to share her with their child before having the opportunity to show her the world. But fast forward twenty one years, she is pregnant again. The circumstances are much different. They are not newlyweds getting to know each other. They are no longer new at the parenting thing and there is nothing they wouldn't do for each other or their children. Anger and disappointment are no longer part of the equation, but the fear is still there. Fear that Ana's health may be at risk.

"Christian" Ana says with great emotion, and it snaps him out of his brooding.

"I'm sorry Baby" he says as he shifts to face her and takes both of her hands in his. "I'm just….. I wasn't expecting this." He says it with both fear and joy in his voice. "How are you?"

"I'm okay" she answers him softly. Christian releases one of her hands and rubs her back. "I have to go back in two weeks for another check-up."

Christian nods. "I'll come with you. I want to be there for all of the appointments."

"Good. There will be more this time" she says, and he can hear the lump in her throat. He continues to rub her back and watches a single tear leave her eye and run down her cheek. He leans in and gently kisses it away. Ana closes her eyes and allows the feel of her husband's lips on her face soothe her.

"I don't think we should tell anybody yet" he says very softly as he rests his forehead against hers.

"No, let's not."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian's POV

I take my wife's hand and we walk upstairs together in silence. Pregnant? I can't believe it. We talked about having one more after Natalie. We wanted her to have a sibling around her age like Teddy had Phoebe. But we couldn't get pregnant. We didn't have any problems getting pregnant with Teddy, Phoebe or Natalie, so we knew something couldn't be right. We saw Dr Greene, and she told us that Ana couldn't get pregnant again. Even though Dr Greene has been Ana's doctor since the very beginning of our relationship, we sought a second opinion. When Dr Levin gave us the same results we were devastated. We wouldn't be able to experience another little one growing inside Ana's stomach. I wanted a third opinion, but Ana begged me not to pursue it. She couldn't go through that again, so I agreed. We took some time and decided that we would adopt a child, and we even started looking into it. My father had us fill out some paperwork and we were going to meet with the social worker in a few weeks.

But now, we are pregnant. And it is supposed to be a happy time, but I am scared to death. I'm scared that something is going to happen to Ana or this baby, or both. Science told us that she wouldn't be able to get pregnant. Now that she's pregnant, there has to be risks involved. Her age is also a factor, as she is going to be forty three soon. This is not going to be like the other three times she was pregnant. I am going to spend every minute of every day of the next seven months worrying about her fifty times more than I worry about her now. I have her sit on our bed, and I sit too after putting Natalie's monitor on. We can hear her crying, but it's not a loud cry. It is more like a whimper.

"One of us should check on her."

I look at my wife and shake my head. "She's fine. She's unhappy about going to bed early, without a bedtime story or bedtime music."

"That's kinda harsh."

I pout because I agree. But I know this is the right thing to do. I want my daughter to learn to change her behavior when it isn't acceptable. I take my wife's hand again and try to relax, but between having to deal with Natalie's behavior, Phoebe's anger about me forbidding the road trip and Ana's pregnancy news, I'm fighting a losing battle. I take a deep breath and let it out. I nearly find the calm while having my wife next to me, until she brings up Natalie again. We can still hear her crying in the monitor.

"Christian, she doesn't know how to soothe herself. You poked holes in her binkies."

This time I'm scowling. "I did that because I want her to stop using them."

"I don't like the message that we are sending her." Ana continues. "This is her way of telling us that she needs us. And if we don't go to her she'll lose that trust in us."

I let out a long sigh as I think about that. I don't want our daughter to think that we won't be there for her when she needs us. I change my mind and decide to check on her. "Alright, I'll go." Before I rise from the bed I give my wife a long sweet kiss, my way of telling her to wait for me right here. When I rise from the bed I keep my eyes on hers, and I keep them there until I have to turn and walk out of the room.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Ana's POV

I love my husband's kisses, short and long. Although, I do prefer the long ones. I watch him leave the room with that sexy gaze, and I just want him right here and now. But our daughter needs him, so that will have to wait. The monitor is still on so I can hear him in Natalie's room. I feel guilty for eavesdropping but I can't help it. I love watching and hearing Christian with our kids. I hear him softly shush her as she cries and she starts to calm down. I can also hear him whispering something to her. In a matter of minutes I hear the soft music from her iPod deck, which Christian loaded with baby classical music. I knew he wouldn't be able to stick to the no bedtime story and no music punishment. My husband is quite the disciplinarian, always has been. But he'd developed a soft side when our kids came along. He would punish them if they needed it, but he would feel guilty afterward and try to comfort them. I know that he and Natalie are alright, so I decide to take a bath.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Christian's POV

When I open Natalie's door I see her lying on her side in her bed. She had kicked her blanket off, which she usually does in her sleep. She is crying, and I have to wonder if she's been crying this whole time. I had put her to bed over an hour ago. I walk over to her and pick her up without saying a word, and I sway with her in my arms. I rub her back and softly shush her, and she starts to calm down. She is still crying softly, so I tell her that we can listen to music for a couple minutes. I put the music on low and I sit on the glider with her in my lap. I start to rock and continue to rub her back while her head is rested against my chest. She continues to whimper, and then I smell it. Before I say anything she verbalizes something that I already know.

"Diapy" she cries.

"You need a new diaper?" I ask her, and she nods. I stand with her in my arms and lay her on her bed. She continues to cry and I can tell she is uncomfortable. I turn on her dim light, gather the stuff and make quick work to change her. When I remove her diaper I realize that this didn't just happen. She must have pooped right after I changed her. I immediately feel guilty because she has a rash and she is in pain. That is evident when I start to clean her off. She has a very hard time keeping still for me since her little bottom is red, and she is crying harder now. I try to move fast but I need to make sure I thoroughly clean her. When I am satisfied that she's clean I give her the choice between powder and cream. She opts for both, so I gently apply the cream and pour some powder on her.

Once I have her dressed again I lift her and hold her to my chest, swaying her and rubbing her back. This calms her down and she stops crying. I kiss her head a few times and then sit her in my lap again on the glider. It takes about fifteen minutes for her to fall asleep. My poor baby girl. I wanted her to learn that her behavior was unacceptable, but my punishment caused her to get a rash. I certainly didn't want that for her. My thoughts drift to my pregnant wife. I really do want another child with Ana. I want to be able to do it all again. The overnight feedings and changings, the bedtime stories, the laughing, and even the crying. I want the cuddling. I want my children to need me, like my Natalie needs me right now. I lean down and kiss the top of her head again. I love moments like this, just holding my child while she sleeps.

My happy thoughts transition into fearful thoughts as the music on the iPod switches to Baby Bach. I am so scared that this pregnancy is too risky for Ana. She wasn't supposed to be able to conceive. But somehow she has. I want Ana to have this baby, but I don't want to lose Ana. I can't. We have a lot to talk about. We'll need to meet with Dr Greene and discuss all of the risks and everything we can do to prevent that from happening.

I gently tuck Natalie back into bed and return to my wife.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

I walk into my bedroom expecting to see my wife waiting for me, but she is not there. I sit on our bed and sulk for a few minutes, and then I realize she is in the bathtub. I feel a smirk on my face as I stand and walk to our bathroom to join her. When I walk in I look down at her, surrounded in a sea of bubble bath. She smiles up at me, looking so calm and relaxed. "How's Natalie?" My smile turns into a frown at her question, and she gives me a confused look. "What, what's wrong?"

I stand with my hands in my pockets and look down at my shoes. "She has a rash"

"What?"

"I changed her before I put her to bed, but she must've had a bowel movement after. That's why she was crying." I feel so damn guilty. If I didn't put her to bed early, I would have had her with me and I would have known she needed to be changed. Instead, I left her alone in her room and she had to suffer with a soiled diaper for an hour. I feel like such a shitty father sometimes.

"Join me" she simply says, but I don't deserve to join her. I continue to feel sorry for myself until she says it again. "Christian, please join me. Sit in front of me."

I sigh and do as she says. I drag my shirt over my head and notice the sexy grin on her face. I know she likes to watch me undress, but I'm not in the mood to put on a show. After I remove all of my clothes I climb into the tub and sit in front of her. This is actually a first for us, as I always have her sit in front of me when we take a bath together. She has me lean against her and rest the back of my head on her shoulder. She gently rubs her hand up and down my chest, and it feels soothing. Before Ana came along I never let anyone do this. It's amazing how much this one single person has changed my life. She's changed it for the better. She's helped me grow, she made me discover that I have a heart, and she's challenged me more than anyone else ever has. She wanted so badly to be able to touch me, and I could see how much it pained her that I wouldn't allow it. I loved her so much, too much to let that go on. So I gave her what she wanted. It took some time to adjust, but once I had gotten over the shock I started to enjoy her hands on me. I still flinch at sudden or unwanted touch. I don't think that will ever go away. But to have Ana and my kids able to touch and cuddle against my chest means everything. My Ana gave that to me. Before my wife came along, I was a lonely angry man running an empire from the top of my castle with submissives in my playroom. Her falling into my office was the best thing that had ever happened to me. She opened my eyes to just how wonderful more could be. She is my savoir, my wife, and the mother of my children. She is my Ana. I can't lose her.

"Anastasia" I say softly, and she slows her pace with her hand on my chest.

"Yes Christian"

"I'm scared Baby"

She wraps her arms around me and rests her head on top of mine, after planting a few kisses in my hair. "Me too" I hear her say softly.