Kylo's fingers brushed the surface of Rey's skin deftly as he traced the curves of her body. She was warm under his touch even as Rey shivered and goosebumps rose on her sun-kissed skin. Waking up every morning with Rey next to him was pure bliss. He loved the feeling of their legs being tangled together and their skin pressed so close. Her hair would tickle his shoulders and often times he would wake her by planting gentle kisses upon her neck.
For the last week him and Rey had been enjoying the pleasure of training rigorously and being truly intimate. He liked the idea of being involved in a casual liaison, it wasn't something Rey was complaining about either. He'd wanted her for a long while now – his life had never been closer to divine. If everything stayed the way it was forever he would die a very happy man. But he knew all good things came to an end, and his heart filled with sadness at the thought of their relationship coming to an end.
Rey rolled over to face him there was a very sensual gleam in her eyes as she observed him. "Good morning," she said with a seductive tone. Kylo had to resist a tremor that threatened to course through him.
"You do like teasing me, don't you," Rey asked as she ran her fingers through his thick hair. Kylo knew she had some obsession with his hair – he enjoyed it secretly because it made him feel highly desired by her.
"I can be more decisive if you would like," he murmured. Kylo pulled Rey closer to him so he could kiss her. Their lips and tongues danced together in a familiar fashion. Over the course of the week Rey had learned his one weakness. When she ran the tip of her tongue over his top lip, it always elicited a growl like moan from him every time.
Ren let one hand snake down the length of her body, and quickly he found her sex which was already wet and pulsing with heat. He slid first one, and then a second finger inside her, alternating between slow, sensuous strokes and driving thrusts that had Rey rocking her head back into the pillows. He pumped his finger in and out coaxing a longing moan out of her each time.
Kylo heard her breaths became labored as he felt her body beginning to melt against him. Rey was beginning to tighten around his fingers – her release was coming soon and he was excited. It was pure ecstasy watching her orgasm and listening to her call his name.
That's when Kylo heard an inconvenient distinct buzzing at his door. He involuntarily froze and Rey let out a cry of disapproval. He considered just finishing Rey up, but he feared who was at the door. It could be General Hux, and if he got impatient that meant he would just break in.
"I'm sorry, I need to get the door," he said.
With reluctance he pried himself from Rey and the bed to get dressed. He was astutely aware of Rey's hungry gaze as she watched him dress; he enjoyed when she watched him get ready. The dinging at his door became more needy as finished dressing – part of him wanted to just kill the person at the door as soon as he opened it.
He was about to answer the door before he remembered an important detail, with a lazy stride he walked over to his mask. He'd be damned if he allowed anyone other than Rey to see his face. Quickly he slipped it on and went to the door. To his surprise, Captain Phasma was at the door, her blaster in hand and her armor freshly shined. He was looking straight into her helmet – his hand gripped the door tighter.
"What do you want?" Ren growled, it sounded almost feral in his head. "I should kill you where you stand for not keeping up your end of our bargain. You promised to help keep Rey safe when she was in the cell block, but instead you allowed General Hux to get her."
Captain Phasma remained silent for a few seconds. "I'm sorry for my failure, Lord Ren. I promise it will never happen again. But I had a real reason for coming. The Supreme Leader has requested an audience with you." She said in her usual formal tone. "He's not pleased, just a warning, Lord Ren."
Without any notice she turned on her heels and trudged down the hall in an orderly fashion. Kylo Ren let out a great sigh, he knew why Snoke was upset, and this would not end well for him; it never did when the Supreme Leader was furious with him.
Ren closed the door behind him – his eyes glazed over Rey who was currently dressed and tying her hair up in three buns. "Rey, I have to go talk to Snoke, it's mandatory. I'll be back later." The sound of his synthetic voice almost seemed foreign to him now. It had been a week since he'd worn his helmet at all.
He watched as Rey ran over to him with haste in her steps. Without warning Rey threw herself into his arms and gave him a big hug.
"I'll be fine," Kylo gave her a false reassurance. In all honesty, he wasn't certain what would happen, for all he knew a trap was afoot as they spoke.
"Be safe, Ben. Don't let him scare you," Rey clung to him even tighter, as if this was the last time they would see each other.
"I'll come back, don't worry," he whispered, but his mask stole the tenderness from his voice.
"I'll be here when you get back," Rey let go so she could run her hand down the front of his helmet. Kylo wished he could feel the heat of her skin against his. To his surprise, Rey leaned in and gently kissed his mask.
Every fiber of his being was screaming for him to stay, to just continue holding Rey in his arms. But he knew he had to leave, his master would grow impatient and that would only inflame the situation further. With regret, Kylo let go of Rey and took a step toward the door. The last thing he saw as he left the room was the sorrowful expression that bewitched Rey's face.
Kylo walked into the throne room and his heart started to thunder sporadically in his chest, for Snoke was sitting there waiting for him. Long fingers strumming against the arm of his chair as well as a grim look told Ren the Supreme Leader was not amused. The disfigured form of Snoke's face looked even more daunting as Kylo approached.
"Lord Ren," Kylo heard the crassness in his master's tone as his voice echoed off the stone walls in the throne room. "It has been two weeks since you last reported to me. Have you forgotten your obligations?"
"I won't deny it Master, I've been avoiding you," Ren took a deep breath as he took a position in front of the Supreme Leader. He hung his head low refusing to make eye contact with the man. He feared that his master would read into his very thoughts – that Snoke would invade his mind, that he would sense his connection with Rey. "I've been avoiding you because I've failed at my mission. I have not brought the girl to the Dark Side."
Snoke let out a small sniff and Kylo knew he was in for a scolding.
"It seems the girl's Light is contagious as well. The Light in you has grown. That is completely unacceptable. First you fail to get the map from the droid and now you can't convert some scavenger to the Dark Side." Ren continued to look down at his black boots, but he could feel his master's beady eyes burning holes through him.
Kylo remained silent.
Snoke let out a faint sigh. "You know I've been tolerate of the Light within you. Since you've become my student, you have proven yourself to be loyal to the Dark Side. But now you have allowed an extraneous variable such as this – this scavenger to throw you from the careful path you've carved through the darkness. It's disgusting," the Supreme Leader's voice boomed sending out shock waves that rocked through Kylo's body. "I thought better of you Lord Ren."
He still held his tongue, for he feared he might say something disrespectful. He knew he was supposed to be ashamed of himself that in the bottom of his stomach he was supposed to loathe himself. The old Kylo Ren would have felt like a disgrace, an abomination in the eyes of his master. But since he had met Rey, he was a refreshed man. Rey was like water, she had eroded away his harsh, stony personality and remodeled it into something new. He didn't care what Snoke thought of him now; Rey's high opinion was the only one worth having.
"You have allowed compassion to rule in your heart, and I can sense the Light in you has grown like a cancer. Since you've failed me – and your attachment to this girl is the obvious cause, you will send her to me. Immediately," the repugnance in Snoke's voice was clear.
"I've devoted everything to you, Supreme Leader," Kylo said as he tried to filter the frustration from his tone.
"And that's why I haven't had you killed for your insolence," Snoke hissed. "If you were any other man I would have you destroyed where you stand, but you've been my ambitious and loyal apprentice for many years now and you are impossible to replace."
Kylo nodded, for the first time he lifted his head to glance at his master. Snoke's silvery eyes narrowed and his hand clenched his throne tightly; Ren repressed the need to shiver. With suppressed feelings of anger, Kylo bit his inner lip. Kylo knew it now, he'd already suspected the truth, that his master found him pathetic and wanted to replace him. He was only fortunate enough that Force sensitive beings weren't abundant.
"I've instructed General Hux to charge the Superweapon – and it's target is the Illenium system. We need to hit the Resistance now, while they are still unaware," Snoke stated robustly. "I want an updated report as soon as the girl has been shipped to me," his master commanded. "And Lord Ren, don't let me down again. I will find it in my heart to dismiss your... childish diversion this once, but don't make me regret my generosity," his master's voice was nothing short of scathing.
The hologram came to an end and Ren exhaled for what felt like the first time in minutes. His chest was beginning to hurt from pounding of his heart. It was as if his very heart was trying to beat its way out of his ribcage.
He left the throne room, but it became more onerous to even walk. Kylo's knees felt weak and with every step his legs quaked until he was forced to grab hold of a wall for support. He knew what would happen if he sent Rey to the Supreme Leader – for her it was a death sentence. There would be no twisting her pure soul toward the Dark Side. Unless Snoke used her father's death to fuel her anger, but there was no way his master could control Rey; she hated him. She would sooner kill Snoke than help him. Rey was emotionally and morally stronger than Kylo had ever been – there would be no way to manipulate her. Kylo knew for a fact that Rey would resist the Dark Side until her dying breath.
There was little he could do, if he refused to hand Rey over there would be repercussions for his disobedience. Hux would be more than happy to arrest Ren and do away with him. Kylo's hands were already metaphorically tied, he had to figure out a way for Rey to be safe.
For the first time in over a month, Kylo Ren headed to the room where his grandfather's helmet was located. It was a quiet place away from the traffic of constant patrols. It was a place where he'd meditated long ago and it was a place he could ask for guidance without being disturbed.
He approached the room with urgence in his gait. Never before had he felt the need for clarity so desperately. He typed in the security codes so fast that his own hands looked like a blur.
As he entered Kylo looked at the decrepit, crying metal that was the remains of his grandfather. It was the only thing he'd obtained of the old Sith Lord and it had taken him a long time to find. He'd had to raze a few Ewok villages to the ground to find Darth Vader's helmet, but having it had made him feel complete at the time.
"Grandfather," Kylo lamented as he put his hand on the helmet. "I beg for your help. I'm being torn apart, I want to save Rey, but I don't know how to do it."
"I want to give into the Light, I want to start a future with Rey in it, but I can't do so without beating the Supreme Leader. I fear I'm too weak without the Dark Side, I fear I'll need the darkness to beat him."
Silence rang like thunder in his ears – he tried his best not to clench his fists. "He manipulated me, he preyed upon a boy who had power, anger and was lost. A boy who was hurting, a boy who was internally screaming for help and went looking in the wrong place to end his suffering, to inflict his revenge. Now I'm a man, I understand what was going on, Snoke was looking for a puppet to do his bidding. He wants to toss me aside and turn Rey into his apprentice, but I can't let that happen. Snoke needs to be stopped, but how can I do that if I don't know where he is or how to defeat him?" Ren took a deep breath before he spoke again. "Please, Grandfather, help me."
Kylo sat there, the room was cold, silent and heavy with languor. Never before had his grandfather ever reached out to him, but sometimes he had felt a dark presence linger with him. He knew that his grandfather was capable of manifesting himself. He had read about how strong Force sensitive users had the ability to appear as spirits to give guidance and talk to the living. Yet his own grandfather had forsaken him.
Finally after the silence became too cumbersome he grabbed the helmet in his hand. He looked into the empty, melted eye slits of the piece of metal. Under his skin rage began to simmer, but as the quiet lengthed he could no longer contain it.
"You never gave a shit anyways," Kylo screamed out and he continued to yell until his lungs physically ached. With all the might his body could muster, he chucked the crumbling mask against the wall. He felt his ankles quake beneath him and Ren fell, his knees hit the metal floor with a loud thud.
Why, why, did he have to be so alone? If he didn't figured out what to do he would be alone again soon, but there would be a larger void left behind by Rey's absence. A void as large as the one his parents had left in him when they sent him away. He wasn't sure he could handle that again. No, not a second time.
Kylo fought hot tears that threatened to spill down his face. Rey was the first person in his life that he felt truly cared about him; he could feel it in the way she looked at him, the way she touched him. She was the light of his life, and with every fiber of his being he wanted to protect her. For if he lost her, if she went to the Dark Side, if she died: he would never forgive himself.
There had to be a practical way to thwart Snoke, he needed to figure it out. But Kylo was lost for inspiration, he was consumed and being debilitated by the thought of Rey leaving him or dying. His mind was racing – he felt like his skull was going to explode.
"Ben." Kylo perked up as an unfamiliar voice infiltrated his ears. Ren slowly turned around to see a pale blue, ethereal figure behind him. It was a man with shaggy, brown hair and dark, steely eyes. He was wearing brown and black robes of a Jedi Knight, and on his belt was a shiny, silver saber that Kylo had seen once before.
Anakin Skywalker. The words clawed in the back of his mind like a rabid animal. Kylo jumped to his feet – he couldn't shake the surprise that was resting in his bones – his mouth was slightly ajar from shock.
"Grandfather," his voice was nothing more than a sheer whisper. The awe of seeing an actual Force ghost was starting to wear off. In its wake anger was beginning to surface.
"Now you've finally come to my aid. I've been calling for your help for years, and you've ignored me. You let me suffer alone, just like everyone else," Kylo spat.
"You wanted me to guide you farther to the Dark Side. I was afraid what my appearance would bring out in you. Probably a renewed vigor to destroy your enemies and your soul would have plunged farther into the darkness," Anakin placed in hands in his sleeve and planted his arms against his chest.
Kylo gritted his teeth, for he knew Anakin was correct – a month ago he would have taken that as a sign to push himself to be more heinous. To commit atrocities without remorse, and be as evil as he thought Darth Vader had been. Only one month ago had he been entranced by the idea of being the galaxy's most powerful Dark Lord.
"What matters is I'm here now, now that you need true guidance. I know what you feel for Rey – it's how I felt for your grandmother. You must be careful Ben," Anakin's voice became incisive.
"All I care about is keeping Rey safe," Kylo retorted. "That is a very pure deed."
"You must be careful, my own desire to protect your grandmother is what brought me to the Dark Side in the first place. Don't allow your connection to Rey leave you blind," Anakin warned.
But Kylo was still reeling from what the Skywalker had said. He'd never known why his grandfather had joined the Dark Side, Ren had just assumed he'd been just seeking power and eternal glory. It was why Ben had joined the Dark Side in the first place – for power and to follow in his grandfather's footsteps.
"You didn't submit to the darkness eagerly?" Kylo asked; he couldn't even keep out the confusion in his voice.
"Not at first. I had visions of your grandmother, Padme, dying in childbirth. So I started looking for a way to save her and unfortunately I stumbled upon Darth Sidious. Sidious told me of a way to save her, but I needed more power, so I did as he instructed. In the end my own wicked deeds turned me into a man Padme feared beyond belief. She died and that severed my final connection to the Light," Anakin said with exasperation.
Kylo remained quiet for a few seconds. It was odd to think that his grandfather had joined the Dark Side with a pure purpose and how rapidly he'd been twisted into a monster. Kylo had twisted himself into a monster on his own fruition.
Finally Kylo found his voice. "All I want to do now is end this war, how do I complete that and protect Rey," he inquired with determination.
Ren heard Anakin sigh. "That is for you to decide, Ben. You have to stray to the Light. Changing who you've been won't be easy – it will test in way you never thought possible."
"I don't think I can ever accept the Light back again, not after what I did." Ren felt sweat starting to bead on his forehead. It was nerve-racking just thinking about going back to the Light. He'd committed so many crimes, killed some many people – he feared his soul was too far gone for redemption. Rey believed he was worth redeeming, but he refuted her belief frequently.
"That is the only way you can protect her. Rey is the one who will bring balance to the Force – she is the chosen one. She's the only one strong enough to shatter Snoke's legacy." Anakin's voice was ardent as he tried to convince Kylo to change his path. "You can still go back to the Light Side. I committed more crimes than you can even imagine, I slayed an academy full of children, killed my wife, hunted and killed Jedi for years, tortured your mother, disfigured Luke – and I redeemed myself at the end of my life when I saved Luke and destroyed Emperor Palpatine."
Kylo soaked in the details his grandfather had spoken of. If his grandfather was able to find solace on the Light Side, maybe he could too. Rey had believed it was possible, but seeing Anakin here was proof.
Kylo thought of Rey and how she was the chosen one – it all made sense. It explained how she had blocked him out of her mind in their first interrogation, even without any training. The fact that Rey was more powerful than him, that she was adept when it came to picking up new skill – it strengthened his belief. "If that is the only way to beat Snoke, then I must protect her," he declared valiantly. "But how will I get her to Snoke so she can defeat him?"
"You need to find Luke, he will know how to find Snoke," his grandfather replied. It seemed Anakin knew well enough of what happened between him and Luke.
Ren involuntarily gulped. "I can't face my uncle. I'm sure he still hasn't forgiven me for what I've done. If I was him I wouldn't."
"Luke is still troubled, yes. But he's convinced himself he needs to let go of his regrets and stop holding anger in his heart. And you'd be surprised what Luke is capable when he puts his mind to it," the Skywalker smiled at him. "He won't kill you, Ben."
Kylo looked at his hands, sometimes he could still see the stained blood of his fellow classmates. It was hard to think Luke would forgive him for destroying years of his hard work and ingenuity. Luke had hoped to rebuild the Jedi Order, but Ben had crushed his uncle's dreams, as well as kill every pupil his uncle had worked to mold.
Even though it was clear Kylo had the option to go to the light – there was an intense fear that was buried inside himself – anytime he thought of returning home. There would be a reckoning if he went back to the Resistance; they would make him pay for the things he did. For the people he killed, for the treasonous crimes he'd committed in the name of the First Order. It paralyzed him with terror.
Part of him wanted to remain with the First Order, he had power here. The idea of submitting to the Light always seemed like a step backward, there was so much unlocked power he could still attain from the Dark Side. But power was not in his interest anymore and he needed to focus on what was really important to him – Rey.
"Thank you for your council, Grandfather. I know what I must do," Kylo headed for the door but the sound of his grandfather's voice beckoned him to stay for one more second.
"Good luck, Ben Solo. May the Force be with you," and just like that, Ben left the room to find Rey.
[A/N]: Hey guys, thank you so much for reading this chapter. So what did you guys think, will Kylo go to the Light? Please let me know what you thought of this chapter, the feedback has been amazingly helpful! :)
I just wanted to give a special thanks to megumisakura, bhut, Marlene101, Sabrino21, Mistress 0f Dragons, bluejustice13, Stephycats7785, reylo4ever, SaintsFan1, firerosedreamer67, gabysweet10, fabercastel, DaniLV, DiamondSapphire, Nila, Sweet Summer Sunset, LovetheKlaroline, myhartisonfriar, Girlwith100names, xxbubbiixx, Kawiiacake22, , sailorhathor, Lucy, Solangelo Lover 292, PattSkywalker, StarWarsFanGirl, The HazardsOfLove13, KP100, Lleblanc3, mushidoll and all you other guests who have been kind enough to review and give me your feelings and thoughts of the story.
Next chapter should be coming out around this time next week! Thank you for taking the time to read, I hope all of you have a wonderful weekend! :)